I'm currently facing a unique situation that I've never really dealt with before.
Here's a little background about me to give context to the situation:
I'm a natural born sigma. Meaning, I've never really wanted followers. From a young age I didn't like it when others would try to follow me, rather I would pick and choose who I made friends with and I would talk to whoever struck my interest. When I would hang with groups, I would be good buddies with the alpha while being fairly distant from most members in the group. Thus I came in at high value, and everyone treated me well.
I even had my own group as an alpha when I was in middle school, but because no one in my group went to my school and they were one year younger than me, I let the group go when I got into high school as I became obsessed with a game called Counter-Strike, and that was the beginning of my road to becoming a computer nerd. As I went on to University, I still maintained my sigma lifestyle. Going in and out of multiple groups as I pleased and always coming in at high value whenever I decided to join group activities.
I've also created my own online groups such as clans before, but I never held onto them. I would always let them go and move on to other things.
After I graduated from University, an alpha from one of the groups I hung out with started hitting me up a lot to hang with me since he now lived in the same city as me. I regularly hung out with this group for many years. During all this time I never consciously knew about social status and all this pick up stuff. Just subconsciously I was able to retain high value while sticking with this group because I remained emotionally distant from everyone while being best buddies with the alpha.
Anyways about 6 years ago I went through personal trials and entered a dark period. I had two main groups that I used to see on a regular basis, but I stopped socializing for an entire year, ended up not talking to anyone during that time. Since then I now find myself in an uncertain situation. For the first time ever, I went back to one of my main groups, and I find myself wanting to stay attached to this group for the long run. But I also see and experience now the ugliness of social status games. This is something I haven't had to deal with before since I never fully merged into a group before. I'm not vying for alpha status with this group. I'm also the strong silent type and usually provide more of a strong presence rather than verbally trying to dominate situations.
What I want now is to be seen as someone who is not the alpha of the group, but is high status and doesn't have to play the social status games that everyone in the middle plays. Is it possible to be someone seen as a regular member of a group with high value, and not subject to being cut down by other members? Is there a way for a Sigma to be a regular part of a group, but still maintain that sense of independence and high status?
Here's a little background about me to give context to the situation:
I'm a natural born sigma. Meaning, I've never really wanted followers. From a young age I didn't like it when others would try to follow me, rather I would pick and choose who I made friends with and I would talk to whoever struck my interest. When I would hang with groups, I would be good buddies with the alpha while being fairly distant from most members in the group. Thus I came in at high value, and everyone treated me well.
I even had my own group as an alpha when I was in middle school, but because no one in my group went to my school and they were one year younger than me, I let the group go when I got into high school as I became obsessed with a game called Counter-Strike, and that was the beginning of my road to becoming a computer nerd. As I went on to University, I still maintained my sigma lifestyle. Going in and out of multiple groups as I pleased and always coming in at high value whenever I decided to join group activities.
I've also created my own online groups such as clans before, but I never held onto them. I would always let them go and move on to other things.
After I graduated from University, an alpha from one of the groups I hung out with started hitting me up a lot to hang with me since he now lived in the same city as me. I regularly hung out with this group for many years. During all this time I never consciously knew about social status and all this pick up stuff. Just subconsciously I was able to retain high value while sticking with this group because I remained emotionally distant from everyone while being best buddies with the alpha.
Anyways about 6 years ago I went through personal trials and entered a dark period. I had two main groups that I used to see on a regular basis, but I stopped socializing for an entire year, ended up not talking to anyone during that time. Since then I now find myself in an uncertain situation. For the first time ever, I went back to one of my main groups, and I find myself wanting to stay attached to this group for the long run. But I also see and experience now the ugliness of social status games. This is something I haven't had to deal with before since I never fully merged into a group before. I'm not vying for alpha status with this group. I'm also the strong silent type and usually provide more of a strong presence rather than verbally trying to dominate situations.
What I want now is to be seen as someone who is not the alpha of the group, but is high status and doesn't have to play the social status games that everyone in the middle plays. Is it possible to be someone seen as a regular member of a group with high value, and not subject to being cut down by other members? Is there a way for a Sigma to be a regular part of a group, but still maintain that sense of independence and high status?
