Can feelings be rekindled?

[pks391]

If a girl who loved you is over you and you meet her again, is there any chance, even remotely that she would feel the same way again? Could it be possible for the guy to get those feelings back in her again?

 

[ray_zorse]

Depends completely on how you handled the breakup and how her feelings have developed since then, you don't know, she may really miss you, or her feelings of disgust (at being taken advantage of, that the r/ship was just about sex) etc may have grown over time... also depends if she met a new guy etc. SO many variables, but you can't ask her feelings because it will come off needy unless you really know what you're doing. Correct way to handle a breakup IMO is you play it cool, keep your frame as a desirable sexy guy, just say you understand and continue to treat her exactly the same as before -- rewarding investment on her part, not rewarding or getting sucked into drama, contacting her as often as you feel is appropriate to be supportive but not needy, supporting her (including in finding another guy if that's what she wants) without being an emotional dishrag, hanging out with her platonically for a time if that's what she needs, while still using GC techniques to build connection and attraction, but keeping the frequency down so you do not become too available or become her sexless orbiter... continue to sexually flirt, be honest and vulnerable to match her honesty and vulnerability etc, but if she withdraws do not reward it with attention / chasing, just accept her decision and move on to greener pastures. Obviously you may feel jealousy etc, but as a high value man you know this is just your ego speaking (feels un-solid when it loses a part of itself) and rise above it by immersing yourself in your hobbies, work, other social life or FWB etc.
Ray

 

[pks391]

Depends completely on how you handled the breakup and how her feelings have developed since then, you don't know, she may really miss you, or her feelings of disgust (at being taken advantage of, that the r/ship was just about sex) etc may have grown over time... also depends if she met a new guy etc. SO many variables, but you can't ask her feelings because it will come off needy unless you really know what you're doing. Correct way to handle a breakup IMO is you play it cool, keep your frame as a desirable sexy guy, just say you understand and continue to treat her exactly the same as before -- rewarding investment on her part, not rewarding or getting sucked into drama, contacting her as often as you feel is appropriate to be supportive but not needy, supporting her (including in finding another guy if that's what she wants) without being an emotional dishrag, hanging out with her platonically for a time if that's what she needs, while still using GC techniques to build connection and attraction, but keeping the frequency down so you do not become too available or become her sexless orbiter... continue to sexually flirt, be honest and vulnerable to match her honesty and vulnerability etc, but if she withdraws do not reward it with attention / chasing, just accept her decision and move on to greener pastures. Obviously you may feel jealousy etc, but as a high value man you know this is just your ego speaking (feels un-solid when it loses a part of itself) and rise above it by immersing yourself in your hobbies, work, other social life or FWB etc.
Ray

thanks for the reply ray,
Before she initiated the no contact, she said she was not angry with me and she would be happy to see me if i meet her again. She also said that Im still the same man in her eyes i.e. the strong man. She said that she had her own reasons to leave but she could not tell me. She said if we ever meet again she will take the relationship as it goes. I was a little bit needy when she told me she wants to stop her feelings for me but in the end i just told her that i respected her decision and walked away. There is a good chance i will meet her again. Do you think at that time any lost feelings would be able to be bought back? There is a moderate chance of a new guy coming in her life, but that variable isnt much of a problem i feel. She simply said that she wants to be away from me at the time.

 

[pks391]

No.

With one caveat: cut contact completely, let her see other women going after you over a long period of time, and then maybe she will change her mind due to preselection. Besides that, the answer is no.

Drexel,
Thank you for the reply. We won't be seeing each other for 2 months atleast now. Because we will both be on study leave.