Can i have my cake AND eat it?

[Humay]

I'm trying to learn everything about seducing and romancing women, so that in a few years, i could have any woman i desire and settle down with her in a comfortable [but not too safe! ] relationship.

It seems to me that being in a committed 'boyfriend-girlfriend' relationship helps when you want to be a provider and husband (i.e. later stages of a relationship) but doesn't help when you want to seduce a woman to begin with and be her lover.

Similarly, being her lover and having a casual/sexual relationship with her (which, as Chase appears to suggest, is how to begin a relationship so you're fully in control) is a good way to learn how to be good in bed and how to arouse her. But it doesn't give you any experience on how to emotionally fulfil her (like comforting and caring for her without being too cold or too clingy) if you only see her twice a week for mostly sex.

So, in summary, i want to know how to master BOTH the lover and provider roles. Is cheating the only way? I'll feel a bit dirty if that was so. It appears as though whenever one focuses too much on being a lover, he loses his skill on being a provider (and vice versa). As we never remain in stasis, we need regular practice in anything in order to master it.

So, how do i learn to master both lover and provider roles at the same time?

 

[Franco]

Humay,

There is definitely information on this website for being a good provider and lover in an exclusive relationship.

For more on that material, I suggest you dig through the articles at this link here.

- Franco

 

[Chase]

Humay-

Similarly, being her lover and having a casual/sexual relationship with her (which, as Chase appears to suggest, is how to begin a relationship so you're fully in control) is a good way to learn how to be good in bed and how to arouse her. But it doesn't give you any experience on how to emotionally fulfil her (like comforting and caring for her without being too cold or too clingy) if you only see her twice a week for mostly sex.

You can transition from a lover role into more of a lover/provider role as time passes (and in fact, you'll NEED to, if you want to keep a girl past a certain point in time - usually 3 to 4 months, sometimes longer, sometimes shorter). Do that and you'll get to experience both stages - the early stage lover, and the later stage provider.

So, in summary, i want to know how to master BOTH the lover and provider roles. Is cheating the only way?

You don't need to do both at once in order to get them down.

e.g., if you want to learn basketball, you can work on passing, and you can work on shooting. But you don't need to work on both at the same time - you can work on passing one day, and target shooting the next. Take the time to focus on developing the specific skill set you want to develop, and whichever one is most useful fo you.

Much of what you'll learn in relationships is transferrable - everything you pick up in being a lover applies to being a provider. If you're trying to be ONLY a guy who takes care of her emotional and security needs as a provider - and not her sexual and intrigue and adventure needs - you'll find yourself replaced pretty quickly on the lover front by a man better prepared to fulfill those needs (or, at the very least, you'll find yourself dealing with an endless deluge of drama coming from her unmet needs).

I'd target lover first, and move to provider once you've got the former down.

It appears as though whenever one focuses too much on being a lover, he loses his skill on being a provider (and vice versa). As we never remain in stasis, we need regular practice in anything in order to master it.

You can continue being a lover even in a provider role.

One thing that helps is a good deal of travel - absence makes the heart grow fonder, and it also reverts you to more of a passionate lover role, since the two of you haven't seen one another in a while.

The two certainly are not mutually exclusive.

Chase