@Shawn
One potential issue with your parting shots here could be the framing. In the example you provided you initially lush for a meet up again, which immediately outs you in a chasing position. You also end up highlighting how you are in that position by reiterating that its her call how it all goes down. That essentially you are not a collaborator here. And then you highlight again that the ball is in her court. Also, in your situation here ball is ALREADY in her court, so telling her that directly is just redundant and conveys that you are not really reading between the lines.
You generaly want your parting shots set some of the following frames
-you understand her position in a personal way
-you highlight what is fun and unique about her connection
-you highlight that while you are open to connecting you are not just going to wait around for her
All this gives her the following opportunities
-to see that you understand her reality
-to see one last time that you did indeed have a cool connection and you are a chill easy going dude
-to see that if she sits on this connection she may lose you
All depending on how your previous interactions went you can either run this one of two ways. The more hands off way where you keep things chill. Or you lean into the flirtation a bit. The first approach gives you a better shot of re opening her at a later date. The second approach gives you a more of a shot of re hooking her. Sometimes women do want a piece on the side, but they are not getting the vibe that you will just be fun easy going and hands off so they pull the "I don't have time for another connection right now" when really she does have time she just feels you would require too much it from her (I.e. you came across too boyfriend and not enough lover)
So those two different parting shots might look something like this
The more hands off approach:
"Well dang Jessica, there's always so many compelling things to chose from in life. Definitely relate to the whole having a full plate dilemma (showing understanding in a relatable way)
Its been cool exchanging wild travel stories though (recalling what was cool about your connection. Throw in an inside joke here if you can. Something just the two of you have shared together)
Chemistry in life is a funny thing. Open to connecting again when you got more space, granted the energy is still here (highlighting that yes you are still open to meeting but no you will not just hang around)
If you feel like you want to try to reopen this girl say two or three months later, I general send something non committal that reminds her of our connection but needs no response from her. Something that only adds value to her day and asks for nothing back. Often she will respond in a positive way.. Often times a fun photo of a shared interest, or a funny meme that is tailored to her can work wonders. Or just a quick observational quip that she will appreciate. If she responds well, don't jump the gun and be sure to mirror her investment levels. Don't text again if she doesn't respond. You really just want this re open to be like a little spark that reminds her. If something catches you slowly warm her up again. And you have to avoid coming across like you are just going to be that same old guy she didn't prioritize before. You have to be intruiging. A new sort of energy to your interaction.
Now for the second type. Leaning into it:
If you get the sense that she is actually just testing the waters to see how attached you are, wanting a fling but not sure how you fit into the picture, this can be a good option. I already posted this example in the thread but it stands as a good one so I will use it here again.
Her: I have too much things, I don't known that I can manage having another guy right now so on so on"
You "Managing a harem of dudes is definetely hard work, and I always end up being the one that rocks the boat too much. You're probably making the right call here" (few things here, you are challenging her frame that she is just too busy for a lot of guys. You are looping yourself into the joke so its not just longed square at her, and you are playfully showing you can accept nd respect her decision. You are also painting yourself as a lover, as well as putting a frame that you aren't just one of the other guys she has. Plus rock the boat is an innuendo. But remember, this is all subcommunication. You don't just tell her "I'm not like other guys)
You then make things a little more personable by throwing out a more sincere parting shot. I make this part brief and concise so she gets the point and sees I am out.
"but hey for real though. It's fun connecting (showing her I am sincere) Maybe there's still chemistry here when life evens out a bit more for you (showing her that I won't wait around and chemistry can fade)"
On this parting shot generaly won't reopen her as it can come across as "oh here's that horny dude trying to smash again", but you will be surprised at how often you hear from her again in two or three weeks, a month. And sometimes she will even hook again right away. In this case you got to do a little cat and mouse dance though. You don't want her to think she can just toss you aside and then pick you right up again.
When deciding wheather to use hands off or lean in approaches, examine the way the interaction has been run before hand to determine how to play it. The lean in method generally works best if the interactions have already been strongly flirtatious with a lover vibe.
I actually have two dates this week from reopening with these methods. Also got a pretty strong bite on another reopen text yesterday
Hope this helps
-Stray Dog
