"Can you build enough connection in 5 mins to ask for a girl's number without it feeling rushed?"

[Arnav]

Is it possible to get a girl’s number through a cold approach in just 4–5 minutes?

For me, it usually takes around 10 minutes to build enough rapport for it to feel natural and acceptable for her to give out her number. Any shorter than that, and I feel like she might think she’s being too easy or that I’m rushing things.

My usual approach involves some small talk, asking about her life, sparking a conversation about her hobbies, work, or interests, and mixing in some playful teasing or jokes to build a vibe. Eventually, I reach a point where there's enough comfort and connection to ask for her number.

Is it possible to shorten that process and still make it feel natural and comfortable for her to give out her number within just 4–5 minutes becauseI usually game in subways and girls usually leave within few stops in 4-5 mins.

 

[Chase]

@Arnav,

You can. It's mostly skill (but also down to the reception of the individual girl).

Past a certain point, if you're going to be able to get a girl's number you should often be able to get it at 2-3 minutes in and have it still be solid. You can stick around a few minutes longer with an eye toward making it more solid but it often won't be necessary.

That is when you have you approach tightened down, you're coming in with good fundamentals, and you just run through all the right material so you've hooked her, she feels some nascent connection, you've got her invested, and she's excited. Then you can do that, "Welp, gotta run, but we definitely need to link up, have to get to that thing I told you I was headed to," and she's into it and you grab the number and keep going.

The main thing you are looking for is high points:

• Does she turn herself to you / open her body language up to you?
• Do you tease her, cold read her, touch her, or generate arousal that she clearly either likes or at least accepts?
• Does she connect with you and excitedly tell you something about herself?
• Do you qualify her on what she shares and you can tell she values your qualification?
• Do you get her to give her a few bits of compliance so it isn't just "two random people talking unattachedly on the street" but rather "man leading a woman through an initial courtship"?

You can do all that very quickly once your process is down, and girls will basically feel swept away into this rapid, enjoyable courtship. Then you're gone (after all, you're so busy; you're an important man) and they're left hoping you have some time to see them over the next few days.

Unless, that is, you check her schedule and it turns out she's available right now, and you don't have any pressing concerns, so you can pull her onto an instant date, of course.

---

That being said, no need to rush it to get there.

I think it's a good goal to have (ability to reach solid 2-3 minute number closes) but your focus should really just be hitting all those right notes:

1. Open up her body language
2. Trigger some initial arousal
3. Get her excitedly connecting
4. Qualify her on what she shares
5. Lead her/have her comply a few times
6. Exit in a way that makes you seem busy-ish

If it takes you 10 minutes to do all that, take 10 minutes.

If you can get it down to 5 minutes, awesome.

Once it's down real tight you can get to the point where you can often do it all in 2-3 minutes and still get solid closes that lead to dates & lays.

But the real focus should be on "hitting all the key points" first, rather than "do it all as fast as possible."

Get the form down solid, then work on speed.

---

Note that you will have girls who do not hook quick, for whatever reason, even if your fundamentals are excellent, game is solid, and you have this tight process.

Typically with these girls there is a point of diminishing returns for sticking around with them, but where that point sets in is going to depend on skill.

e.g., if you are regularly closing solid leads in 2-3 minutes, then generally having a girl who has not responded strongly to any of your material by 3 minutes in is going to be the point where diminishing returns set in.

You can stick it out 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc., and sometimes attract some of those girls, but the longer you hang around without getting strong responses/compliance the dimmer the odds (compliance is really the main one. If she has muted responses but she readily complies she may just be a quiet-but-interested girl. If she acts excited but refuses compliance, she's likely to be an outgoing-but-uninterested girl. Etc.).

However, if it is taking you ~10 minutes to get to the point where you're hitting all those notes and ready to close, then that is the point where you say "All right, we're 10 minutes in, she still isn't giving me any strong response or complying, it's time to pack it in and move on unless I really want to go for the lower-odds play here (maybe because she's just that hot or you've got a gut feeling)."

So, again, you are calibrating how long you are willing to stick it out to how fast you are able to run through your material while still hitting all the right notes and having the proper effect.

Chase

 

[Arnav]

@Arnav,

You can. It's mostly skill (but also down to the reception of the individual girl).

Past a certain point, if you're going to be able to get a girl's number you should often be able to get it at 2-3 minutes in and have it still be solid. You can stick around a few minutes longer with an eye toward making it more solid but it often won't be necessary.

That is when you have you approach tightened down, you're coming in with good fundamentals, and you just run through all the right material so you've hooked her, she feels some nascent connection, you've got her invested, and she's excited. Then you can do that, "Welp, gotta run, but we definitely need to link up, have to get to that thing I told you I was headed to," and she's into it and you grab the number and keep going.

The main thing you are looking for is high points:

• Does she turn herself to you / open her body language up to you?
• Do you tease her, cold read her, touch her, or generate arousal that she clearly either likes or at least accepts?
• Does she connect with you and excitedly tell you something about herself?
• Do you qualify her on what she shares and you can tell she values your qualification?
• Do you get her to give her a few bits of compliance so it isn't just "two random people talking unattachedly on the street" but rather "man leading a woman through an initial courtship"?

You can do all that very quickly once your process is down, and girls will basically feel swept away into this rapid, enjoyable courtship. Then you're gone (after all, you're so busy; you're an important man) and they're left hoping you have some time to see them over the next few days.

Unless, that is, you check her schedule and it turns out she's available right now, and you don't have any pressing concerns, so you can pull her onto an instant date, of course.

---

That being said, no need to rush it to get there.

I think it's a good goal to have (ability to reach solid 2-3 minute number closes) but your focus should really just be hitting all those right notes:

1. Open up her body language
2. Trigger some initial arousal
3. Get her excitedly connecting
4. Qualify her on what she shares
5. Lead her/have her comply a few times
6. Exit in a way that makes you seem busy-ish

If it takes you 10 minutes to do all that, take 10 minutes.

If you can get it down to 5 minutes, awesome.

Once it's down real tight you can get to the point where you can often do it all in 2-3 minutes and still get solid closes that lead to dates & lays.

But the real focus should be on "hitting all the key points" first, rather than "do it all as fast as possible."

Get the form down solid, then work on speed.

---

Note that you will have girls who do not hook quick, for whatever reason, even if your fundamentals are excellent, game is solid, and you have this tight process.

Typically with these girls there is a point of diminishing returns for sticking around with them, but where that point sets in is going to depend on skill.

e.g., if you are regularly closing solid leads in 2-3 minutes, then generally having a girl who has not responded strongly to any of your material by 3 minutes in is going to be the point where diminishing returns set in.

You can stick it out 5 minutes, 10 minutes, etc., and sometimes attract some of those girls, but the longer you hang around without getting strong responses/compliance the dimmer the odds (compliance is really the main one. If she has muted responses but she readily complies she may just be a quiet-but-interested girl. If she acts excited but refuses compliance, she's likely to be an outgoing-but-uninterested girl. Etc.).

However, if it is taking you ~10 minutes to get to the point where you're hitting all those notes and ready to close, then that is the point where you say "All right, we're 10 minutes in, she still isn't giving me any strong response or complying, it's time to pack it in and move on unless I really want to go for the lower-odds play here (maybe because she's just that hot or you've got a gut feeling)."

So, again, you are calibrating how long you are willing to stick it out to how fast you are able to run through your material while still hitting all the right notes and having the proper effect.

Chase

Wow a 2-3 mins number close? Thats seems a really short time. Just out of curosity.

How does that conversation even go ?

 

[killerman]

Most of mine have come within 1-2 mins and I've had dozens and dozens of dates over the years. I had a hot indian girlfriend 10 years ago and that was literally just 30 seconds because I was in a rush and had a bus to catch. So yes you can absolutely do it in 2-5 mins. In fact I'd say you dont even need that long because attraction is instant and she can tell within the first split second or so whether she likes you. In fact I think the shorter the better because the conversation is short and it can build a ton of mystery about you in her mind. Leave the bulk of the talking to the date and even then it's better to not say much then either because you want to be that mysterious guy and let her do 80% of the talking.

 

[Chase]

Wow a 2-3 mins number close? Thats seems a really short time. Just out of curosity.

How does that conversation even go ?

Here's an example.

I talk about structuring the flow for quick approaches properly in this article:

Tactics Tuesdays: Opener Cycling

If at first your opener doesn’t hook, try, try again. That’s the basis of opener cycling: using more than one opener on one girl. Don’t just open weak then plow. Not every time you open a girl will she open with gusto. Sometimes all you get is a blasé response. She doesn't reject you, per se...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[ChrisXKiss]

Interesting post, because I kinda had the opposite question in another thread. How do people spend more than few minutes in approaches.

Personally, if I can’t go into an instant date, and sometimes even if I can but only for a short time, I prefer to run the initial approach quickly, take the number and then have more time for other things or even other approaches.

I also agree that girls know pretty fast if they like you, when I feel it I try to make things even faster, a basic exchange and then taking her number.

If she feels more in the middle, I may stay a bit more, but I’ve also started feeling pretty well if they are just polite but unavailable. So I try to end these interactions quickly to save time too.

In general I have not seen any advantages of spending much more time with her initially.

It’s good to make it solid, that said when it feels fairly solid pretty early, I don’t see much point in just staying for the sake of it.

 

[Arnav]

Interesting post, because I kinda had the opposite question in another thread. How do people spend more than few minutes in approaches.

Personally, if I can’t go into an instant date, and sometimes even if I can but only for a short time, I prefer to run the initial approach quickly, take the number and then have more time for other things or even other approaches.

I also agree that girls know pretty fast if they like you, when I feel it I try to make things even faster, a basic exchange and then taking her number.

If she feels more in the middle, I may stay a bit more, but I’ve also started feeling pretty well if they are just polite but unavailable. So I try to end these interactions quickly to save time too.

In general I have not seen any advantages of spending much more time with her initially.

It’s good to make it solid, that said when it feels fairly solid pretty early, I don’t see much point in just staying for the sake of it.

How do you know if a girl like you though, I have had few girls be warm and recpetive on my opener.
They answers my question enthusiastically, share things.

Ask me questions but when I number close, they state they can't give me their numbers and then offer an insta id.

Then I feel my whole read of their attraction to me based of their emotional investment an upbeat mood im the interaction was off.

 

[Skills]

Wow a 2-3 mins number close? Thats seems a really short time. Just out of curosity.

How does that conversation even go ?

i personally think you need really solid interactions, if not you will have to play more of a numbers game...

Paul Janka, style is fast numbers... but working volumes.... I have gotten fast numbers, usually mainly day game, cause their are moving set... But i found the interactions relying on "numbers" aspect of the game vs the skill aspect... but my take.. I really take the numbers but from the start i assume not going anywhere, and if they go anywhere i take it as the cherry on top...

 

[mirror]

Is it possible to shorten that process and still make it feel natural and comfortable for her to give out her number within just 4–5 minutes becauseI usually game in subways and girls usually leave within few stops in 4-5 mins.

Weird idea perhaps, KJ from my part, but couldn't you like. Tell the girl halfway your talk, in the middle of your sentence, like: " shit, my stop is coming, but i would love to continue our conversation sometime. If you would like to too, can I have your nr?"