can't meet for another 2 wks - how often to text?

[mkivtt]

Hey there. Love the advice here, and I think I've been improving my game.

I recently opened on a girl at her workplace. We had a great chat for 30 mins before I bailed. I used a casual/funny/cocky routine, while adding as much deep dive as I could. It went well, she was having a great time, but I left without asking for her #. A month later (I was out on business) I stopped by again, and we had another teasing / exciting chat. I asked her out and got a yes, but only her email and she never responded when I mailed.

2 months later I ran into her and just casually said hi and walked on. She came up, apologized, said she'd had a lot going on (I later found out her BF broke her heart during that time, good news for me), but would like to grab a drink that same day. I've never had a girl ask me out in my life, so I was pleased. That evening we had a fun, quick 30 min chat (since it was unplanned she had a hard stop for a family activity) and agreed to do something later.

That was 2 weeks ago. We've been emailing 2 wks, and txting since last Fri, as I finally got her #. I've been asking her out, and she says she'd love to, but can't for another 2 wks. This bothers me, but just a little bit since it's mostly true: she's fasting, says she doesn't have the energy, isn't playing hard to get, and would really like to do something but only once she's done. It sounds sincere and she's still interested based on the texts I get.

The part that gets me is how I keep her interested for another 2 weeks. I try not to text more than a few times a day, usually in response, and use with cocky/funny/casual/high value stuff that seems to make her laugh. But it's been 2 wks, and I'm at a loss how to engage her for another 2 without becoming just a text buddy or someone she lost interest in.

Any advice? Should I try to skip a few days? Would it raise her interest level if I disappeared for a few days? Or should I keep doing the same: low volume teasing/funny, since it seems to be working?

Thanks!

PS I don't have another 10 numbers in my back pocket - I only hit on girls I'm honestly attracted to, and since I'm well into my 30s and prefer Indian girls who are usually married by then (and if not, rarely date white guys due to family expectations), the pickings are very slim. So I want to make this work, and not try anything too risky. I understand scarcity though, and try to always appear busy / only remotely interested. I'm not drooling all over her, texting 50 x a day, etc.


TL;DR: Met girl, hit it off well, but she can't meet again for another 4 weeks. 2 weeks have passed, 2 to go. Texting is going well, trying to keep it low volume, but high value and funny/cocky. I'm worried about keeping it going for another 2 weeks. Would it hurt if I disappeared for a few days, or skipped a day every now and then?

 

[Eric]

Hey man,

Don't mean to be a downer, but she's really playing the slow game with you. Which, isn't necessary a BAD thing (for her), it mean's she's interested into roping you into a relationship, for now..

The reality is, she's got the control, and she's setting the pace. "I don't have the energy" is total bullshit, I fast more than her and I do it year round, with the exercise workload of an elite athlete. You get used to fasting after doing it for a few days, it becomes natural and you don't think about it (the body adapts).

She also gave you just her email at first, another way to take things slow. She has you all figured out.

That being said, I think you ought to ask yourself: What do you want from this woman, and can you do better?

Now, if you're looking for something sexual.. that's fine. Just realize that she's going to make it a slow grind, and drag you through the mud a few times before.. MAYBE... just maybe she'll decide to sleep with you. That's if you make it far enough before she finds a really special guy.

My advice?

It seems to me like you are settling. I don't care if you are 20, 30, or 80. There is always room for improvement, and there is always room for dreaming big. Do you really want to put energy into a relationship that you don't seem all too crazy about? So what if you don't have another 10 numbers in your back pocket, I had zero (not even friends) when I started learning seduction, same as Chase. I changed my world to how I wanted it to be, and that was no easy ride. I take back my question of "What do you want from this woman?". No, the real question is: what do you want from LIFE?

Do you want to be an average guy who is settled and comfortable? Obviously not, since you've found this site.

Do you want to be a guy that inspires and people look up to? If you are, then what are you waiting for?

Do you want to be with someone you absolutely adore, and she adores you back, and is the spark of your life? If so, why are you wasting time on this girl who is dragging you along?

 

[mkivtt]

Thanks Eric, appreciate your response. Most of it sounds true, which is a bit painful, but I was hoping for an honest 2nd opinion.

Her fast is Ramadan, which may preclude things such as "dating" (I'll count my blessings her family is very liberal and she is open to a relationship) until it's over. Hence why I'm not sure if her excuse is real, or she's stringing me along.

The part that puts me off is the conflicting messages. E.g.

1) She was the one to ask me out the last time we met, right before Ramadan... So there must be (or have been) some interest on her part, since it's unusual for girls to ask a guy out.
2) She says she can't do anything in the morning, afternoon, evening, whatever I suggested. But then she texts me today she hung out w a friend until 2AM last night. So she can find time for that, but not for a simple 1 hr date with me?
3) She'll tell me she's going to a restaurant w her parents tonight to break her fast, and suggest maybe she and I can go there sometime. Or she'll ask what I made for dinner, and go OMG that's my favorite, please make it for me when we can meet in 2 wks.

It's like I'm getting good signals and interest, but when I suggest picking her up for [insert random activity], she says she can't due to Ramadan. However later she'll text me random ideas to do together, but always "sometime" or "in the future." Why would she do that if she has no interest in me?

To tell you the truth... I'm not in this to get laid. I'm perfectly happy with bf/gf. I've had a few relationships behind me, am almost 38, and my biological clock's been ticking lately (if there is such a thing for a male). The supply of quality, smart, fit, attractive single women with no baggage my age is fairly small, and she meets all criteria.

So if she's stringing this out for a normal relationship, I'm perfectly fine with that... tbh that's my goal. I don't want to place her into a make/break decision, just to "force" something in these 2 weeks.

She's made it clear she can't do anything now, so if I keep asking I will just come across as needy / insecure. I guess I'll try to stay low key / scarce until Ramadan ends and see if she is up for something. If she comes up with another excuse, I'll know she's just fooling around and move on.

Thanks again.

Confused.

 

[JMP_123]

Well she has been pretty forward with you and was forward when it came to not meeting for 2 weeks. If you believe she is genuinely interested as are you, whats the hurt in giver her a call on the phone one evening? If you're over 30's you surely remember talking to girls a lot on the phone. I'm only 25 and remember being younger and having to chit chat or catch up with girls via the phone.

Nowadays it's short, concise text messages which seem disjointed or just impersonal to me. So what i'm saying is I see no harm in you calling her once to catch up quick and then from there maybe tell her to reach back out to you one evening to continue the calls. If not find a time that works for her and tell her you'll give her a ring.

That's what i'd most likely do.

JMP

 

[mkivtt]

Thanks. I kept radio silence today but will text her some light pleasantries tomorrow and say I'll call her that evening.

The reason I haven't called, well, Chase seems to have completely dropped calling and his articles say he pretty much only texts now I've also called some girls in the past with less than stellar result... back when I was an average frustrated chump. I've gotten better since then and will give her a ring.