Can't read her

[Lotus]

I've been seeing this girl for 5 months and posted about her a couple times. I've been trying to read her because she refuses to let down her emotional walls, but I just can't seem to figure her out. So many of the signs she has given me are mixed and confusing.

- career driven( high stress environment)
- high sex drive
- shy and walled off from her emotions
- extremely compliant( I can't think of a time she has told me no)
- she never flakes
- always looking to hangout
- loves to go dancing(doesn't grind)
- says she doesn't want serious relationships
- cannot maintain eye contact plays with her hair nervously around me all the time
- self conscious

Mostly she seems like she fits the "Career driven/party girl mold" that would be highly unreliable, but I've found she is extremely reliable. There seems to be a persona she wants everyone to see her as, but more we hangout the more the underlying, vulnerable girl bleeds out. When we drink these the walls come partially down and she expresses herself.

This weekend I broke my frame for the first time(detailed in the journal). I was expecting her to pull away considering what I have read about these types of girls, but she didn't, if anything she has been warmer. I can't read her.

viewtopic.php?f=15&t=10762

I fully realize I'm compromised and I am going out this weekend to meet new girls and fix my inner game. I also realize trying to get her walls down and open up to me is fucked up since it looks like I'm moving, but I want to understand.

My question is has anyone run into a girl like this? or know what is going on?

I hope this makes sense. If I need more details let me know.

Thanks,

 

[Dude909]

Wtf dude? What are you trying to accomplish by "reading" her? This girl apparently loves sex and is low drama. What more do you want? Sounds to me like you are trying to create problems that don't exist.

As a general rule, do not try to analyse what girls think. They don't make sense. Or in blue pill language "women are meant to be loved, not understood"

 

[Lotus]

Yeah, probably. She just keeps referring to her walls.

Thanks for the response and for keeping it real.... That's what I needed.

 

[Lotus]

Okay so something finally clicked and I laughed at myself for this entire situation. If my 2 months ago self had seen this post I would have said what a chode.

Correct me if I'm wrong. but it sounds to me like the conflict between what she is and what you want her to be is creating an internal conflict that you can't resolve, is causing you to quickly fall into scarcity, lose your frame, and most likely set yourself up for an unhealthy relationship with this girl or getting deeply hurt by her.

Yeah that pretty much sums it up.

When I first met her I just thought, oh here's another quiet, shy, good girl but I learned more and more that's not the truth, but as I became aware of the truth I tried to hold on to that original image. Hence the internal conflict.

I thought I would be able to maintain the abundance mentality without abundance itself. Unrealistic.

The anxiety and stress from the impending job change/move pushed me into scarcity really fast, and yeah I clung to this "relationship" for comfort.

Either be the man she wants.... A fun, non-bf, sex friend, who she can have a great time with. Or Next her so you can find the girl who wont cause you all this anxiety. Ideally, keep her and enjoy the good parts, and just approach more girls, go on some dates, and just realize she's replaceable and theres girls who will meet the criteria that makes you comfortable in a relationship.

Luckily I have maintained the strong outer frame even with all the internal conflict and I believe it was salvaged already.
-The last text I got was about how she needed to catch up on sleep from all our "activities" and a wink face.

Already re-downloaded some dating apps and will be going out this weekend. Thanks for the reality check fellas.

It's funny how fast you can fall into a bad mindset.

Lotus