Carshare seduction?

[Lantern]

In my country, there is a caresharing app that's very popular for travelling between cities. When you're going on a trip, you announce it on the app, say how many passenger's you're taking, and how much money you're asking. The idea is to split the costs, not so much make money.
I use it quite a bit, 95% of the time as the driver. Occasionaly you get a hottie as a passenger. So my question is how would you go about seducing such a hottie?

There's two possible scenarios in general: it's you plus just her, or, it's you plus 2-3 other people, one of which is her. You're driving for anywhere between 1 to 5 hours to your destination.

The main issue I see is that these girls have the primary concern that you will turn out to be some kind of psycho, hit on her hard without any grace, get angry if she says no etc. etc. She's stuck with you in your car, aynthing that makes her uncomfortable is risky. So being direct or too overt seems to me will ring too many alarm bells. You'd obviously need to start with a lot of comfort. But how do you go about showing intention and spiking attraction in this situation considering all this plus that you have a several hour drive to do with her. Any particular advice?

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

Cabbies hitting on passengers is creep mode behavior, unless you're already ridiculously attractive. And even when you look like a male model, poor behavior will drop you right into creep status.

The best move is to tell them where the cool stuff is...and then be there at that place, looking cool, and doing cool stuff.

IMO, Hitting on customers is scarcity mindset.

 

[OldGuy]

Get your fundamentals down, clean the car. Possibly leave some item that a date might have left in the car, a headband or so. Ask about why she is traveling Talk about why you are traveling, and if your logistics are good, such as staying at a hotel mention it. Build comfort

 

[Lantern]

Cabbies hitting on passengers is creep mode behavior, unless you're already ridiculously attractive. And even when you look like a male model, poor behavior will drop you right into creep status.

The best move is to tell them where the cool stuff is...and then be there at that place, looking cool, and doing cool stuff.

IMO, Hitting on customers is scarcity mindset.

Read the post again, I'm not a cabbie nor are these people "customers". I just happen to go on a trip, and put my trip up on the app in case someone wants to join and split the cost. The vibe is much more friendly always in the car compared to when you take a professional.

 

[OldGuy]

Why she is traveling will tell you your chances. If to get together with husband or boyfriend, no chance. To be with relatives or friends, try to get together. If a class during the day and stuck in hotel not knowing anyone, pure gold. If multiple women, find out what they are traveling for and work on those with a chance.

 

[Chase]

@Lantern,

Just be cool, get to know her, ping her with flirty teases now and then. Focus more on playful disqualification so it DOESN'T feel like you are hitting on her:

• "Oh my God, why do I always get the crazy ones?"
• "If you keep that up I am leaving you at the next rest stop."
• "I can't wait till we reach our destination and I never have to hear you say [whatever she keeps saying] again."

Basically just use a lot of push-pull so she is forced to chase after you if she likes you.

At some point when there is comfort, seed some of the things you will be doing, but don't invite her. If she shows interest, invite her in an offhand way. e.g.,

HER: Oh wow, that sounds so fun.​

​

YOU: Okay, well, MAYBE I will let you tag along with me when I go. But you have to bring snacks.​

Then if she backs away at all, you just tease-back away even harder:

HER: Oh, well I didn't mean I would come with you!​

​

YOU: Good, because I wasn't inviting you! I was just being polite because you were so pushy. Sheesh!​

Basically, you just want to constantly defuse any frame she might try to set that you are chasing, and continually set frames that if anything, you are pushing her away and she is the pushy one.

If she's the type who doesn't like teasing, you can just build connection with her and then each talk about what you'll be doing. If she has lots of plans or knows lots of people you can mention having free time and not knowing anyone and needing to figure out what you'll be doing. Girls will often invite you to join them here. Or if she doesn't have many plans or know anyone you can talk about things you'll be doing, and if she shows interest you can tell her she is welcome to tag along with you if she doesn't have other priorities. You just do it in a less-teasing way if she's a girl who doesn't respond to your teases.

Chase

 

[Lantern]

That's perfect, @Chase, thank you so much!

You hit on exactly what was slipping through my fingers, a non-invite invite! Excellent!