A
Anonymous
Guest
I have struggled to get my head around this one girl I've been seeing and talking lately and I stumbled upon this site and figured maybe you good, more experienced, people can help a man out here. I'll try to keep this short.
For a long time I was having hard time getting over my ex and I chased and chased until I finally gave up after too much heartache that came with it. So I noticed this girl at work who I actually had been flirting quite a bit.
I decided to step up my game and as a shy guy that I am, I managed to fish out her number from her. Soon after she had her vacations and nothing happened. After she returned, flirting continued and I finally managed to ask her out. By that time we already gave long hugs on hellos and goodbyes.
It was a movie night at her house and while we didn't even make out or anything, we had our legs over each other and getting more touchy etc. She took me home in early AM later. After this, texting heated up and she seemed to be the one doing the chasing. I was already feeling cornered by her and started wondering if getting further into this is a good idea after all. This had actually happened already before the hang out.
Few days later we went out for a couple of drinks with another friend. I figured it was time to make some more moves so I reached out for her hand under the table and she responded by grabbing my hand. I am quite far from a PUA, so a little awkwardness was in the air for a little bit after this, but I came over it. After taking her friend home, we hugged for goodbyes, but I figured I wouldn't leave it to that. So after sensing how she would take the hug, I went for a kiss and we made out there for some 20 minutes or so. I made a joke about asking her to stay over, but it didn't happen and I didn't push for it.
Everything seemed good and we had another movie night shortly after without any movies though. Just talking through the night while holding each other etc. She told me I could stay the night and I did. I asked if she would like me to stay on the couch, and she replied it was my choice: either her bed or the couch. I chose her bed. Cuddled through the night and in the morning there was a bit more action, but it didn't lead to intercourse and I didn't even push for it. Didn't even have my protection with me that night, so left it at that.
A few days pass again and one night she shoots me a text asking if I'd like to spend the night with her again. I do the usual, give a good 10 minutes or so before replying to not to seem too eager. Reply that I would love to, but she said that she had already left. This was not planned at all so I was a little confused what she meant and she told me she was around late night shopping and stopped near my place, but had already gotten home by the time I replied. Anyway, after a 30 minute phone call I manage her to re-invite me to her place and off I went.
Something was really awkward that night. She seemed off, which was a little weird to me since after all it was her who initially invited me to stay the night. Nothing really happened that night and she "kicked me out" early in the morning.
After this, she hasn't initiated in a lot of texting or anything with me. And so it turned that I chase her now. And I hate it. We see each other at work and for a while it was really awkward, because I was getting really disappointed by the way things had turned out. Her hugs became those annoying side hugs and she didn't really seek out to have a word or a flirt with me anymore. I tried to get her out on a couple of occasions but all I got was soft rejections. Somewhere along the way she also told me she needed space. I figured that was it.
Gave her about a week before wishing her happy Halloween and kept it short. Not a lot of texting since then. Now I know she's fairly fresh out of a serious relationship and her ex is somewhat still in the picture. She had told me during the 1st hangout that he wanted her back, but she didn't know if she wanted him back. She told me she would let me know... Anyway. The look on her face seemed guilty whenever I saw her at work and it was strange. I figured ex is back. Later on a friend of mine told me she had seen her out with a guy having dinner.
I figured to just f**k it. Upset that she didn't communicate this very well with me, but never let her know that I know what was up. I hate to be played and led on and that's how I felt had just happened. In some mysterious way I figured that if this was a game, I will play it all the way to the end. She still came to say hi at work and made up some small convo with me. I stepped up my game and pushed for more intimate hugs and touches. And she seems to be taking and responding to them. After swallowing the disappointments, our conversations went back to how they used to. Hugs became more intimate again, she seems to be swinging around just to greet me and talk and flirt and laugh, blowing me kisses and winking. Calls me "babe" now too. Some of that stuff that she never did before. Neither one of us want anyone at work to know about this, but I've been pushing a bit more by putting my hand around her waist next to her and running it over her butt or thighs or whatever, taking her hand while hugging and subtly holding on to it until she or I walk away. And she seems to like it and comes back for more.
And here I am, probably more confused than ever now. I don't even know what I'm doing, but even less do I know about what she's doing. I wonder if she's just happy to have me on the back burner. She knows that I'm good friends with the person who saw her at this dinner with another guy and maybe she figured that I know about this, but just don't care, or that I don't know about it. And that's why the guilty looks before.
Anyway it sucks, because I really like this girl. I really, really like this one. Couldn't keep it very short and apologies for that. Whoever had the time and patience to read this novel, any feedback would be appreciated about the situation. Basically, should I move on, or is there some hope here? And if anyone has ideas, what the hell is she up to with me? I just recently asked her to go out for the third time and she agreed, at least for now. If she bails, I know I have to let this one go. Also I would just like to get a feel how she is one on one after this strange turn of events.
For a long time I was having hard time getting over my ex and I chased and chased until I finally gave up after too much heartache that came with it. So I noticed this girl at work who I actually had been flirting quite a bit.
I decided to step up my game and as a shy guy that I am, I managed to fish out her number from her. Soon after she had her vacations and nothing happened. After she returned, flirting continued and I finally managed to ask her out. By that time we already gave long hugs on hellos and goodbyes.
It was a movie night at her house and while we didn't even make out or anything, we had our legs over each other and getting more touchy etc. She took me home in early AM later. After this, texting heated up and she seemed to be the one doing the chasing. I was already feeling cornered by her and started wondering if getting further into this is a good idea after all. This had actually happened already before the hang out.
Few days later we went out for a couple of drinks with another friend. I figured it was time to make some more moves so I reached out for her hand under the table and she responded by grabbing my hand. I am quite far from a PUA, so a little awkwardness was in the air for a little bit after this, but I came over it. After taking her friend home, we hugged for goodbyes, but I figured I wouldn't leave it to that. So after sensing how she would take the hug, I went for a kiss and we made out there for some 20 minutes or so. I made a joke about asking her to stay over, but it didn't happen and I didn't push for it.
Everything seemed good and we had another movie night shortly after without any movies though. Just talking through the night while holding each other etc. She told me I could stay the night and I did. I asked if she would like me to stay on the couch, and she replied it was my choice: either her bed or the couch. I chose her bed. Cuddled through the night and in the morning there was a bit more action, but it didn't lead to intercourse and I didn't even push for it. Didn't even have my protection with me that night, so left it at that.
A few days pass again and one night she shoots me a text asking if I'd like to spend the night with her again. I do the usual, give a good 10 minutes or so before replying to not to seem too eager. Reply that I would love to, but she said that she had already left. This was not planned at all so I was a little confused what she meant and she told me she was around late night shopping and stopped near my place, but had already gotten home by the time I replied. Anyway, after a 30 minute phone call I manage her to re-invite me to her place and off I went.
Something was really awkward that night. She seemed off, which was a little weird to me since after all it was her who initially invited me to stay the night. Nothing really happened that night and she "kicked me out" early in the morning.
After this, she hasn't initiated in a lot of texting or anything with me. And so it turned that I chase her now. And I hate it. We see each other at work and for a while it was really awkward, because I was getting really disappointed by the way things had turned out. Her hugs became those annoying side hugs and she didn't really seek out to have a word or a flirt with me anymore. I tried to get her out on a couple of occasions but all I got was soft rejections. Somewhere along the way she also told me she needed space. I figured that was it.
Gave her about a week before wishing her happy Halloween and kept it short. Not a lot of texting since then. Now I know she's fairly fresh out of a serious relationship and her ex is somewhat still in the picture. She had told me during the 1st hangout that he wanted her back, but she didn't know if she wanted him back. She told me she would let me know... Anyway. The look on her face seemed guilty whenever I saw her at work and it was strange. I figured ex is back. Later on a friend of mine told me she had seen her out with a guy having dinner.
I figured to just f**k it. Upset that she didn't communicate this very well with me, but never let her know that I know what was up. I hate to be played and led on and that's how I felt had just happened. In some mysterious way I figured that if this was a game, I will play it all the way to the end. She still came to say hi at work and made up some small convo with me. I stepped up my game and pushed for more intimate hugs and touches. And she seems to be taking and responding to them. After swallowing the disappointments, our conversations went back to how they used to. Hugs became more intimate again, she seems to be swinging around just to greet me and talk and flirt and laugh, blowing me kisses and winking. Calls me "babe" now too. Some of that stuff that she never did before. Neither one of us want anyone at work to know about this, but I've been pushing a bit more by putting my hand around her waist next to her and running it over her butt or thighs or whatever, taking her hand while hugging and subtly holding on to it until she or I walk away. And she seems to like it and comes back for more.
And here I am, probably more confused than ever now. I don't even know what I'm doing, but even less do I know about what she's doing. I wonder if she's just happy to have me on the back burner. She knows that I'm good friends with the person who saw her at this dinner with another guy and maybe she figured that I know about this, but just don't care, or that I don't know about it. And that's why the guilty looks before.
Anyway it sucks, because I really like this girl. I really, really like this one. Couldn't keep it very short and apologies for that. Whoever had the time and patience to read this novel, any feedback would be appreciated about the situation. Basically, should I move on, or is there some hope here? And if anyone has ideas, what the hell is she up to with me? I just recently asked her to go out for the third time and she agreed, at least for now. If she bails, I know I have to let this one go. Also I would just like to get a feel how she is one on one after this strange turn of events.
