- Joined
- May 15, 2014
- Messages
- 102
I met this (western) girl at a cocktail like three weeks ago. Slim, cute, friendly, in her early 30s. I noticed interest but we spoke for a relatively short time.
Second time I see her. House party. We stick around each other 80% of the time. As expected, for social-circle reasons, that party turned out to be a pre-selection bomb for me. More interest from her. We leave together and end up at a bar. We hold hands but she's kind of shy/awkward getting past a certain limit. On the way back, I notice her beginning to go cold from auto-rejection (as nothing else had happened so far). When we separate, I go for the kiss. She dodges me. I chuckle, point it out to her and pull her to me from the waist: we make out for some minutes. I have bad logistics (she's tired, it's kind of rainy and cold, I live far away) so I tell her hey let's see each other again.
I get home, sent her a short good night msg and wonder how did my experiment go (first time I push the envelop and take a leap of faith like this, let alone with someone from social circle) .
The next morning, she answers my polite msg with another one. Some hours later she msgs to set up a date a couple days later.
Third time I see her - first time 1 on 1. I choose a casual restaurant near my place - and my place is where we end up, making out. Escalation wall: Playfully went for her bra three times with different degrees of success, the third one (I had cupped her tits from below her bra while laughing) she kind of got mad/offended at me. Here it began to surface she sees me as very high value and that I might try to "play" her, not take her seriously, etc. . . I saw her eyes, she looked hurt; I hugged her, kissed her cheeks and forehead, I really felt a bit bad for her. When it was time for her to go back home, I escorted her to the bus stop and she held my hand on the way - this may have been a mistake but given the circumstances I complied. Then at the stop she felt better and started giving me French kisses like crazy.
Here started another thing: she began whatsapping every single day: to ask when is she going to see me again, do small talk, send me kissing smileys, etc. . . I try to keep the conversations to a minimun. I tease her that normally girls get clingy like this after sex, not before (nothing but the truth!). She playfully (?) threatens me away from an "open-relationship" plan. I just reply some funny face to that and leave it there. . .
We arrange to see each other the end of the week (like 6 days later). Then days later, she messages me to just go to her place for dinner.
Fourth time I see her, second "date". She cooks me a meal, we have very nice sex, she really has a nice body, she offers me to sleep over, we have great sex the next morning. Here it surfaced that, partly from what she told me, despite her age, she's not so experienced - there's a lot of things she hasn't done much, or is not used to, finds over-stimulating, etc. . . Seems like she comes from a dry spell that's more than a year long. In fact, despite all her moaning and panting and frantic grabbing me and kissing me. . . I couldn't get her to come; she just wouldn't get past a certain point.
After, she msgs me asking me once more when will she see me again. . . I tell her the next weekend. She says she's busy, pushes the envelope for the Wednesday. I don't find it practical. Eventually things fall into place for the Wednesday.
Fifth time I see her; third "date". Dinner at my place. Lots of sex. She asks me if I all I want is sex, I tell her the truth: if all I wanted was sex, I'd just pay for it. She likes the answer. In all, she leaves happy. . . I don't escort her to the bus stop.
. . .but then she pushes the envelope to date me the Sunday too! I say I don't know. . . she doesn't take it nicely. Has kind of "nexted" me since then.
Stopped contacting me altogether and instead started posting on FB these things girls like to post - like a picture of the sunset at the beach and some text "blah blah blah people who don't deserve you, blah blah blah people who really deserve you".
____________________
Anyway, not sure if she's going to come back or it really is over. In previous years I'd be chasing like a lost puppy but I'm really forcing myself not too.
It's obvious she wants (or wanted) a full-fledged boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and I feel like I'm putting the foot on the brake; from the moment I first kissed her it seemed she was making a deal too big too soon out of everything. I don't mind NOT seeing other girls while I see her, I'm very busy but also (and unlike other girls) I don't see her being able to deal with it; it would just hurt her too much. . . however, I still want much less committment than she does.
Any relationship experts here?
Anything I could have done differently?
Anything I can do if this were to continue?
Second time I see her. House party. We stick around each other 80% of the time. As expected, for social-circle reasons, that party turned out to be a pre-selection bomb for me. More interest from her. We leave together and end up at a bar. We hold hands but she's kind of shy/awkward getting past a certain limit. On the way back, I notice her beginning to go cold from auto-rejection (as nothing else had happened so far). When we separate, I go for the kiss. She dodges me. I chuckle, point it out to her and pull her to me from the waist: we make out for some minutes. I have bad logistics (she's tired, it's kind of rainy and cold, I live far away) so I tell her hey let's see each other again.
I get home, sent her a short good night msg and wonder how did my experiment go (first time I push the envelop and take a leap of faith like this, let alone with someone from social circle) .
The next morning, she answers my polite msg with another one. Some hours later she msgs to set up a date a couple days later.
Third time I see her - first time 1 on 1. I choose a casual restaurant near my place - and my place is where we end up, making out. Escalation wall: Playfully went for her bra three times with different degrees of success, the third one (I had cupped her tits from below her bra while laughing) she kind of got mad/offended at me. Here it began to surface she sees me as very high value and that I might try to "play" her, not take her seriously, etc. . . I saw her eyes, she looked hurt; I hugged her, kissed her cheeks and forehead, I really felt a bit bad for her. When it was time for her to go back home, I escorted her to the bus stop and she held my hand on the way - this may have been a mistake but given the circumstances I complied. Then at the stop she felt better and started giving me French kisses like crazy.
Here started another thing: she began whatsapping every single day: to ask when is she going to see me again, do small talk, send me kissing smileys, etc. . . I try to keep the conversations to a minimun. I tease her that normally girls get clingy like this after sex, not before (nothing but the truth!). She playfully (?) threatens me away from an "open-relationship" plan. I just reply some funny face to that and leave it there. . .
We arrange to see each other the end of the week (like 6 days later). Then days later, she messages me to just go to her place for dinner.
Fourth time I see her, second "date". She cooks me a meal, we have very nice sex, she really has a nice body, she offers me to sleep over, we have great sex the next morning. Here it surfaced that, partly from what she told me, despite her age, she's not so experienced - there's a lot of things she hasn't done much, or is not used to, finds over-stimulating, etc. . . Seems like she comes from a dry spell that's more than a year long. In fact, despite all her moaning and panting and frantic grabbing me and kissing me. . . I couldn't get her to come; she just wouldn't get past a certain point.
After, she msgs me asking me once more when will she see me again. . . I tell her the next weekend. She says she's busy, pushes the envelope for the Wednesday. I don't find it practical. Eventually things fall into place for the Wednesday.
Fifth time I see her; third "date". Dinner at my place. Lots of sex. She asks me if I all I want is sex, I tell her the truth: if all I wanted was sex, I'd just pay for it. She likes the answer. In all, she leaves happy. . . I don't escort her to the bus stop.
. . .but then she pushes the envelope to date me the Sunday too! I say I don't know. . . she doesn't take it nicely. Has kind of "nexted" me since then.
Stopped contacting me altogether and instead started posting on FB these things girls like to post - like a picture of the sunset at the beach and some text "blah blah blah people who don't deserve you, blah blah blah people who really deserve you".
____________________
Anyway, not sure if she's going to come back or it really is over. In previous years I'd be chasing like a lost puppy but I'm really forcing myself not too.
It's obvious she wants (or wanted) a full-fledged boyfriend-girlfriend relationship and I feel like I'm putting the foot on the brake; from the moment I first kissed her it seemed she was making a deal too big too soon out of everything. I don't mind NOT seeing other girls while I see her, I'm very busy but also (and unlike other girls) I don't see her being able to deal with it; it would just hurt her too much. . . however, I still want much less committment than she does.
Any relationship experts here?
Anything I could have done differently?
Anything I can do if this were to continue?
