FR Catfished

[Fusion]

Hey guys,

I've become newly single so hopefully this will be the first of many FRs and LRs.

A little background on me:
Early 20s
Lay count is at 10, mostly through online game
Always wanted your typical LTR but after discovering Black Dragon's blog I think his open relationships suit me much more

Anyway, this happened yesterday. Critiques are welcome but I'm only really posting this as a funny experience. This particular girl, 'A' had only one picture on her profile that included a cutie and a girl that wasn't so much.

Me: Hey there
A: Hey wanna chill

Girls with options don't usually do this so I'm already thinking she is going to look different than her picture.

Me: Sure. Which girl are you in your pic?
A: The left.

(Girl on the left was cute. I could also see her collarbone in the pic which gave me hope she wasn't huge. I haven't gotten to practice my fundamentals on a date yet, so screw it!)

Me: Sounds good. This evening work?
A: How about now

Once again, girls with options don't really do this. By this point I had made up my mind to go out, even if only to practice fundamentals.

Me: What area are you? I'll drive.
A: location
A: Can you pick me up?
Me: Yup. Address?
A: address
Me: Give me 40 min.
A: Okay can you be any quicker?
Me: Not with traffic. In a rush?
A: Okay and no when you leaving
Me: Right away. Text you when I'm outside.
A: Okay give me your number.

So I give her my number and head on my way. Basically my mindset going to her place was "okay she'll probably be fat, but at least you I can practice fundamentals". Who knows, maybe she just got into a huge fight with her bf and is looking to get back at him.

I arrive at her house right on time. Text her to let her know I'm there then I wait for about 3 min. All of a sudden I see TWO girls approaching my car. One of the girls pokes her head through the passenger side window to see if it's me. To my utter dismay I see the girl on the RIGHT of the picture. Okay I'm thinking, first she lies about who she is and now she is bringing a friend? I look to see if her friend is cute or not. I recognize her friend. AS THE GIRL ON THE LEFT. So to spell it out, chubby girl pretended to be her cute friend and then brought her cute friend along with her. Never experienced such stupidity.

So I try to make basic small talk with the two of the girls as we aimlessly drive around. Within minutes 'A' has come up with some plans for the evening.

A: We should go get drinks!
Me: You ladies buying?
A: uhhh, I dunno....

At this point I'm thinking that this duo does this all the time. So realizing I'm completely wasting time I decide to end the "date"

Me: ahh I'm gonna go home and watch the game, where do you girls wanna get dropped off?
A: uhh we are going to 2 different places...

Oh my god.

Me: okay who first?
A: My friend lives 5 min away

If there was any chance of having a good outcome from this, it would have been dropping off A first and trying to get her cute friend's number on the way to her place.

Me: Sure.

I'm driving in an area I'm not 100% familiar with, so i accidentally take a wrong turn.

Friend: hahah uhhh where are you going?? My house isn't this way!!
Me: Am I supposed to guess? You need to tell me how to get there.

She didn't really respond to that but she told me exactly where to go from there. Drop her off and now A's house is only a couple min away.

A: You should buy me smokes and I'll pay you back Friday

Like what the fuck.

Me: I don't have money on me sorry.
A: all good.

Then out of no where A exclaims: Well THIS was boring!
Me: laughs
A: Well how about on Friday we all drink. We'll pitch for a bottle.

Sure you will. Dropped her off right after her horrible idea of hanging out again.

The fun of online gaming!!

Fusion

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Fusion,

Nice job of handling the situation. Most guys would have caved and bought drinks and smokes.

SGent

 

[lao che]

This is retard stupid! Not you, the game they play or whatever you call it.

I personally wouldn't have hesitated to give them a piece of my mind. I would also probably try to bang both at same time, I mean why not? They think they can disrespect you and waste your time, lemons from lemonade

 

[Rage]

Dude yeah I agree with lao che id be fucking pissed at this shit; i think you handledit ok though like as best you could? seems like it ... would there be anything you would have done different you think?

im not sure what it is buti thinkit is like inidivuda personlaities or tstosterone levels or something that set apart guys that get more irritated about this stuff than others (or have less patience for it than others). Or maybe expeerince or other factors but im not really sure... I saw a friend of mine get badgered and get called by a girl 20 times in 30 min. because she wanted to fuck and he didnt want to go over right now.

pissed me the fuck off just watching lol but he was chill with that i guess and just hit her up when he was done doing what he was working on right then when he was busy

cheers better luck on other online chicks man haha

Rage

 

[lao che]

To be fair, tho, these girls never suggested or offered anything other than to 'chill'

If it were me I would have been pre-framing and chase - framing from the get go. Had a longer conversation other than to set up logistics. I would make my intentions known and therefore if she's not down she can exit the convo anytime, or, as young girls do, just stop responding when she realizes shit might get real.
So, meh, fuck them for time wasting but realize that a little more effort earlier would save on the BS later

 

[Ree]

Fusion,

Nice job of handling the situation. Most guys would have caved and bought drinks and smokes.

SGent

tru dat...next time call them out on their bullshit tho

 

[lao che]

the more i think about this the more i think it was a golden opportunity to push some comfort zones. maybe they wanted a 3-way. "that was boring" she said, coz they were hoping for you to step up and take control... haha i know it might sound insane, dunno how young these girls are, but oftentimes you would be surprised what girls will do! hahahah even if there plan is just gaming dudes into buying them drinks and smokes, does no harm to introduce an idea into the mix.... try it next time..

 

[HellAtlantic]

the more i think about this the more i think it was a golden opportunity to push some comfort zones. maybe they wanted a 3-way. "that was boring" she said, coz they were hoping for you to step up and take control... haha i know it might sound insane, dunno how young these girls are, but oftentimes you would be surprised what girls will do! hahahah even if there plan is just gaming dudes into buying them drinks and smokes, does no harm to introduce an idea into the mix.... try it next time..

This is exactly their intent - 3 way. Too much work to meet random guys online and risk rape or worse just to take a guy for cigarettes and drinks. Think about it haha. They either wanted a 3 way or wanted u to bang the fat one by pulling a classic bait and switch. Sex was on their minds. The "that was boring" part was your cue that they wanted more.

 

[Fusion]

Wow, I'm glad I posted this. A lot of great insight. Thanks guys.

Dude yeah I agree with lao che id be fucking pissed at this shit; i think you handledit ok though like as best you could? seems like it ... would there be anything you would have done different you think?

im not sure what it is buti thinkit is like inidivuda personlaities or tstosterone levels or something that set apart guys that get more irritated about this stuff than others (or have less patience for it than others). Or maybe expeerince or other factors but im not really sure... I saw a friend of mine get badgered and get called by a girl 20 times in 30 min. because she wanted to fuck and he didnt want to go over right now.

pissed me the fuck off just watching lol but he was chill with that i guess and just hit her up when he was done doing what he was working on right then when he was busy

cheers better luck on other online chicks man haha

Rage

As for things I could have done differently, the only thing I wish I had done was told her to fuck off after asking for smokes haha. I was also tempted to drop off the catfish first and to see what I could do with her cute friend. Should have pushed on that one You're right about having the certain guys putting up with a lot more
. In this case it was my first date (for lack of a better word) since becoming single (scarcity mindset) so instead of just driving off when I saw it wasn't the girl I hoped for I thought screw it I'll see where this goes.

To be fair, tho, these girls never suggested or offered anything other than to 'chill'

If it were me I would have been pre-framing and chase - framing from the get go. Had a longer conversation other than to set up logistics. I would make my intentions known and therefore if she's not down she can exit the convo anytime, or, as young girls do, just stop responding when she realizes shit might get real.
So, meh, fuck them for time wasting but realize that a little more effort earlier would save on the BS later

Absolutely right about them only offering to chill. Kinda set myself up to be put in an bad position. Any examples of how I could have framed this better for myself? I haven't had great results chase framing online.

the more i think about this the more i think it was a golden opportunity to push some comfort zones. maybe they wanted a 3-way. "that was boring" she said, coz they were hoping for you to step up and take control... haha i know it might sound insane, dunno how young these girls are, but oftentimes you would be surprised what girls will do! hahahah even if there plan is just gaming dudes into buying them drinks and smokes, does no harm to introduce an idea into the mix.... try it next time..

This is exactly their intent - 3 way. Too much work to meet random guys online and risk rape or worse just to take a guy for cigarettes and drinks. Think about it haha. They either wanted a 3 way or wanted u to bang the fat one by pulling a classic bait and switch. Sex was on their minds. The "that was boring" part was your cue that they wanted more.

The more I think about it like this I think you're both correct. I was just so off put by the catfish's looks and personality that pushing for a threesome wasn't going to happen. Really glad I'll be able to easier recognize this kind of situation from now on though.

 

[lao che]

Re: framing, You might not get great results but you filter out the time wasters. Save you the bother later.


I prefer to get a girl somewhat invested in the interaction before I reward her with a suggestion that we might meet. Much higher hit rate in that case

Krauser has some blog posts about it. Look for the Portuguese waitress in particular.
His style may not match yours but you'll find a way ...

In this instance I might say sth like

Her: wanna chill?

Me: depends... You two come as a pair or can I just take one?


Etc

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Fusion,

To me they did not respect the terms of the date, the implied terms, namely you meet with the cute alone. If a girl don't respect the terms, I let her know upfront.

The "buy me stuff" happens sometimes, the idea is "I couldn't get what I wanted, so let me at least get a pack of cigarettes from this dude". It's a compliance request, you deflected it well. Something like this, for me, is a NEXT. Agree, they had more in mind: "this is boring!" Either they wanted the three way, or it was tricking you into going with the ugly one, with the complicity of the cute one.

As Lao Che said, it's a more positive sign if she invests at least a bit into the chat initially. I usually engage in a basic get to know conversation. I usually ask her to send me some more pictures, especially if I have doubts on the profile picture, or if she only shows one pic. There are many fakes online. And it's not unusual to have surprise at the first meet, even with many pictures, because pictures can be deceiving. Girls are master of their image.

OK no worries, there are also positive experiences with online gaming. Better luck next time ;-)

Cheers,
Seppuku

 

[Fusion]

Thanks Lao Che!

Seppuku:

Thanks for the advice man. Points taken!