Chase, Franco, Radeng, Anatman: Lets talk about life after college!

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I will say that I have been very fortunate in my college experience, mainly because I went to a party school and rushed a fraternity. All that being said, I know that it has spoiled me in a way. I have read stories from guys who had a blast in college, went out into the real world, did well in the real world, but still felt jaded about the whole game. In a way, it feels almost like a curse to do so well in college because you get the feeling that you would practically have to be a celebrity to live that kind of life again.

But what's so special about those 4 to 6 years anyways?

Always thought about that in recent months and I learned what it is. Here you are in college surrounded by people your age who are full of energy, want to make new friends, want to enjoy a great social life, party, and I don't even have to mention how you are around countless hot girls who are for the most part single. That is the theme at this stage of life, to make friends, hookup, socialize, and enjoy life. I feel really bad for the kids who missed out on the college experience, it is truly a beauty.

I talked to some guys who graduated college, had the money, had the job, and had a lot going for them but unfortunately, the didn't have the circumstances. When you hit the real world, the opportunities are hard to come by. You are no longer around people your age who want to be social and do fun things anymore. For the most part, you aren't around as many single, attractive, and available women anymore either. I've truly heard the horror stories from many people about it.

Not being another miserable college grad.

You graduate college and it hits you. You're no longer around your group of friends, hard to come by energetic young people, the hot girls you were used to now vary from a lot of old ladies and middle aged people to the underaged, and it is hard to run into the parties that you did in college. We have all heard the stories of the miserable and depressed college grad.

So I made this post in the hopes that the bright minds of this forum come together and discuss with me on how to avoid this predicament that so many college graduates find themselves in. I lurk other forums, reddit, and many places and this seems to be among one of the biggest fears for a lot of college graduates after finding jobs.

I would like to work with you guys on almost designing a guide on how avoid this isolated post grad lifestyle that seems to be a given for most Americans.

 

[Mr.Rob]

I would call the depressed post college grad a boy who doesn't want to grow up and actually do something with his life.

Chase sure seems like the best times of his life came after college as well as many other people I've talked with.

You know if it really is as bad as you make it out to be you could always move to a college town. ? You don't have to be enrolled at college to hit on college girls.

 

[trashKENNUT]

it's hard work.

And every social circle is limited in its own right. You need many social circles and need to be smart so it doesn't drag u down by having too much investments and no returns.

Zac

 

[Franco]

Kenshin,

This really isn't some giant mystery as most guys are making it out to be. The answer is really simple, and I've mentioned it to multiple guys:

• Move to a college town or big city
• Locate the venues where attractive women go
• Go to those venues
• Talk to cool guys, talk to attractive girls, prosper

If you're having trouble making friends (you don't really need them for the point of seduction, but if you want the whole "social circle" vibe thing and people to go out with), then sign up for tons of activities or clubs around the city involving things you enjoy and where you're likely to meet cool people.

Now, chances are you aren't going to meet your "party" buddies at the Chess club, but you might meet them at surfing lessons, or boxing/MMA training, or a "bar crawl" squad, or even some kind of foreigner gathering. There's all kinds of places to build up new relationships with guys who share similar interests, but you have to be proactive and attend social gatherings that involve your hobbies or things you're interested in, and then you actually have to engage the people there and see if you click.

Generally, I just go to parties/clubs/events and meet people that way. Or you can go to music festivals or concerts and meet people who share a similar taste in music -- these people often frequent parties as well and are outgoing. You need to think outside the box a bit, and then you need to be social enough to make friends. Remember to provide some sort of value to them in conversation so that they have a reason to keep talking to you. Just like with women, if you provide no value, then there's no reason to expect them to want to continue to hang with you.

- Franco

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I made a post about this too and just want to point something out to those of you who say "move to a college town", this is a bad idea if you aren't a student at the university. What people don't get about getting attractive girls in college and having a social life is that a lot of that is done with people at the university while you're a student there. Whether you're in the same fraternity, same dorm, same class, or same club/group, it results in you making bonds with those people and then getting a social life with them. At my university which was a Big 12 school in the Midwest at the time, most of the hot girls were in sororities and wanted nothing to do with "randos" (guys that were older and didn't go to the university there).

What people do not get about college social life is that it is formed when you interact with the same group of people for a long period of time whether it is with people in your dorm, greek life, clubs, and those sorts of things. Some guy who is a college grad living in a college town will feel way out of touch in such a place unless the college town is one where everything does not revolve around the school. At the college town I was in, the college was loaded with cute girls and cool guys but outside of the university, the town itself was full of poverty, poor people, ghetto people, junkies, and so on.

 

[Franco]

Proactivity,

Some guy who is a college grad living in a college town will feel way out of touch in such a place unless the college town is one where everything does not revolve around the school. At the college town I was in, the college was loaded with cute girls and cool guys but outside of the university, the town itself was full of poverty, poor people, ghetto people, junkies, and so on.

You might have a point here, so with that in mind, move to a town where the college is not the center of the universe for that city. Or just move to a big city where colleges are not the focus at all.

You'll have to do your research (or better yet, visit the location to scout it out) before you make any big decisions. You want to make sure you're happy with the location, the women, and the general vibe of the city.

- Franco

 

[Mr.Rob]

Remember to provide some sort of value to them in conversation so that they have a reason to keep talking to you. Just like with women, if you provide no value, then there's no reason to expect them to want to continue to hang with you.

What constitutes this social value Franco?

For example must you always have some concrete tangible value to add? Or is being socially cool and higher status in an environment often times enough?

 

[Franco]

Rob,

For example must you always have some concrete tangible value to add? Or is being socially cool and higher status in an environment often times enough?

Doesn't always have to be tangible!

Maybe you're a foreigner (or from another state) and have all these cool stories about XYZ things that the other guy finds interesting. Or maybe you're just a funny guy and other dudes enjoy hearing your jokes. Value comes in many different forms for guys, so your job is to find guys who enjoy the value you bring (while also hopefully finding guys that provide you with the value that you seek).

- Franco

 

[Fuck This]

For those first few years out of college you may be establishing your career. In a lot of business careers this means a lot of travel in a sales role. Trade shows, conventions, Lots of nights in hotels, a few opportunities to entertain clients with drinks and dinner. These are when your PU experience and social calibration will be appreciated. My industry has realized the value of the Saleswoman Barbie to get a potential male buyer's attention.

When you are back home, hit the Chamber of Commerce/Rotary events under the guise of Networking. Expense that shit! Develop a social circle where if someone has a problem YOU can "know a guy".
Active 20/30 clubs are coed service clubs as an excuse to hold events and socialize.
Professional society or industry groups. Runs parallel to my first point.
Local Alumni group for your school or Greek house.

Even though I was married and 80 miles from a city of 90,000, I still met young single women through community events.

Once I moved to a more populated area where I grew up though the opportunities were nearly unlimited compared to the sparse field I'd observed before. Hey I was the new guy, so the townies were curious about me. (I got status by joining the volunteer fire department, and helped set up the industry group for 18-36 year olds in a 3 county area.).

 

[Lotus]

Yeah I don't really understand the mystery of life after college either. I played soccer in college, which is essentially a fraternity, and did that whole thing. It was fun, I learned a lot, but this whole growing up, developing a career and myself is way cooler as far as I'm concerned.

I talked to some guys who graduated college, had the money, had the job, and had a lot going for them but unfortunately, the didn't have the circumstances. When you hit the real world, the opportunities are hard to come by. You are no longer around people your age who want to be social and do fun things anymore. For the most part, you aren't around as many single, attractive, and available women anymore either. I've truly heard the horror stories from many people about it.

If they aren't like minded people to hang out with they simple aren't trying. Once we leave college the entire world is our oyster just as Zac said, move to a place where you want to be with people you want to hang out with.

There's a website called meetup.com and anyone can find anyone....I know that sounds ridiculous but it's true. In a world where we are so connected, not being able common interests in people near you.... I just don't buy. And if that's really true, then move. I did it, you can too.

I don't know about other guys that operated in multiple social circles in college, but I like NOT having to deal with all of those people WAY better.

Rob,

What constitutes this social value Franco?

For example must you always have some concrete tangible value to add? Or is being socially cool and higher status in an environment often times enough?

I'm sitting here to frustrated with myself, because I don't know how to tangibly put in words what I want to explain....the irony haha

My definition of "value" in socialization is just, making someones day better by the interaction you provide them. Sometimes it may be cracking a joke, sometimes it may be just asking them how their day is going and genuinely caring. Walk around with a smile on your face and make fun of yourself. Rob, I know you use a lot of self-amusement when you do pick-up, use that stuff outside as well. Bring that silly, don't give a fuck energy into whatever you do during the day.

I guess what I'm trying to say it being happy, full of energy and talkative is more value then 90% of the people on this planet have or at least in our tech based countries. Don't take life too seriously.
(going back and reading this... looks like a bunch of mumbo jumbo, but I took so long to write it that fuck it.)

It just that how connected yet disconnected society is right now makes it so much easier to get a leg up on other people.

-Lotus

 

[Mr.Rob]

Value comes in many different forms for guys, so your job is to find guys who enjoy the value you bring (while also hopefully finding guys that provide you with the value that you seek).

Thanks for the perspective Franco.

My definition of "value" in socialization is just, making someones day better by the interaction you provide them. Sometimes it may be cracking a joke, sometimes it may be just asking them how their day is going and genuinely caring. Walk around with a smile on your face and make fun of yourself. Rob, I know you use a lot of self-amusement when you do pick-up, use that stuff outside as well. Bring that silly, don't give a fuck energy into whatever you do during the day.

I agree with your definition of social value in the intangible aspect. Thanks for the tip here Lotus. The reason I asked this question is because I want to make a point to make friends with people more "elite" than I. When I meet these people (high status, high end connections, high end success) I always feel like I don't have value to access their circle as if it almost feels in-congruent. However the last guy I met I saw at the club a few days ago and he asked me why I never hit him up.

It just that how connected yet disconnected society is right now makes it so much easier to get a leg up on other people.

Interesting perspective I think perhaps I'm making it harder than it actually is.

but I took so long to write it that fuck it.

Thanks I appreciate it. Helped with my perspective man. Talk soon.

-Rob

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Radeng,

I don't know man, I went to a big D-1a school in the big 12 and from what I remember, most people after college went away from the college town and that scene. The post grads that stuck around and tried to fit in were seen as "weird" and they never really got the better looking girls. Gotta say dude, I am jealous of where you went to college. You probably went to a more lenient ACC school from what I know since you say you're in NC but at my university, things were pretty strict socially.

From what I have seen and heard about college towns from my friends at Big 12 and SEC schools, it is that people are very cliquish there and quite wary of outsiders. I am sure things are different in the Pac 12 where the culture is more lenient and laid back.

 

[ray_zorse]

I reckon one of the biggest limiting factors after college is that you get a job, you work 9-5, it takes all your energy. You're around a lot of boring people of all ages that you don't necessarily have much in common with, and weekends are spent catching up on housework or having downtime basically. Your friends are scattered all over, you can make new friends if you proactively join clubs and societies and take classes and pursue your interests, but honestly it's quite difficult when you only have weekends and evenings available. My feeling on this issue, is that if you want to continue to have that relaxed lifestyle you had in college, then you need to be thinking about passive income. I recently read the book "The Millionaire Fastlane" recommended by Chase and I must say I'm a convert.
Ray

 

[lux7]

I agree it's a fair question.
I can actually relate to it a lot.

I had a boring dull university life most of the time, but went to Erasmus, an european exchange program where people who already live a student life partying a lot basically go there to... To party.

We were also getting money from the European Union for the program -money we didn't have to give back-, many of us kept getting money from the parents as well... And it was Eastern Europe, so very cheap for the vast majority of us coming from the west.
It was basically like living a student life, but a student a rich student life, with no obligations if not that of having fun.
The "exams" weren't event exams, a joke, a real joke, it was basically granted you were going to pass.

So yeah, it was like a concentration of elements, a "campus time to the nth grade" that made it... Unrepeatable.
While I was living it I was conscious of it and often thought "this is just untoppable".

Many people had slight depressions after leaving and kept planning "reunions".
Some tried to hang on to it, me included by probably unconsciously keeping a relationship with a girl in the same program.

In the past when I looked back at it I sometimes got some pangs of melancholy, but at least as many times I was just laughing my ass off thinking at some of the most memorable scenes and moments.
Even the small heartbreaks I had seemed funny and like a good experience.

Today, I'm just grateful for having had it and having done friends all over Europe.
The bond with those people, even if not talking at all, is a deep one because of the whirlwind experience we shared.
And I'm also grateful for those reunions happening every once in a while where we party again -timidly, in comparison- catch up and laugh.

In a way, to be honest, I still feel I will not top that period in a few areas. Like partying, as you just won't party as after.
Or the crazy social circle where you enter a club and 20 people come hug you all the while you still got the freedom of hitting on another 50 people you don't know yet -or the "local" ones, which is like another society as someone said, there even more because few of them spoke English-.

BUT... you don't have to "top" it.
Would you really enjoy partying, constantly, his whole life?
Wouldn't you feel "stuck" being in the same city with the same people with the same culture and food and weather... While there's a whole world around?

Yes, sometimes you get some "jungle callings" of the crazy you who would want a life of sins and perdition without obligations.
But that's unhealthy and you likely wouldn't even enjoy it later on in life: different stages of life call for different focuses.

So move on with a happy mood and the college party life will just be another beautiful thing: a happy moment in life with even happier present manifestations through friends and reunions.

 

[Drck]

Keep it simple and think long term.... College is 4 years, whereas the rest of your adult life 60 years. Or 80? So focus mainly on studying, don't just waste your time by going to parties, IMO it doesn't worth it. Study hard, excel in school, get well paid job or carrier - that should be your main concern. Do masters degree, if not more. Ideally you shouldn't have any time for girls, so if you spent some time here and there over the weekend with girls, that's plenty...

Once you have good job and good income, you will become more independent. Get your own place. At the same time, more QUALITY girls will be seeking you out because, after all, girls do like successful guys...

Invest into your life, work on building success first, party later...

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

^ This is awful advice, seriously, do not listen to it at all as you will miss out on a lot of fun years of your life.

My grades are amazing and I have had tons of fun in college. You will never be around as many attractive girls in the 18-22 age range who are single, looking to hook up, and not trying to go for anything serious. If you miss out on college and the college experience, you will kick yourself for it for the rest of your life. Focus on your grades but definitely make friends, be social, chase girls, go to parties, and enjoy those 4 years.

 

[Drck]

No, that's a great advice. See, that's the problem. Many young people go to college to party in stead of studying. They may have good grades in comparison to 'US average', but in reality their knowledge is nothing extraordinary. I'm not saying that you are not a good and intelligent student, but many are not. In reality, many college kids in US can't really compete with colleges or universities in the world. There are countries in Europe that teach most US college material at High school level, and I'm not even going to mention level of science and math. It might be even more strict in Asia. In US, it is not that unusual when student barely passes High school, he or she can't really read well after "12 years of education", has minimal math skills - yet he is admitted to college with no problem...

Maybe, just maybe, it makes you wonder why 95 million of Americans that are able to work don't work and are dependent on system. This excludes teenagers and retirees. Many of them passed college, but perhaps they can't figure out way how to support themselves in the richest country in the world, in the country that still have the best opportunities to excel in so many different fields..??

This is not a personal issue, rather this is something that should be solved on national level because let's be honest, the level of education in US could be much better...

 

[trashKENNUT]

It happens in Asia too.

Basicaĺly, the whole education system is fuck up. No joke at all.

People tend to end up as 'ambassadors', 'life coach', 'financial advisors'. No kidding here. Whether you study or not, it doesnt mean shit. It's more of the knowledge you learn and what value it brings to the company.

Not just the US. Not to mention social life and how clubs look for women to wow the crowd and women basically become a 'use n throw' cog in a wheel. We all are though.

Zac

 

[metalbird]

This is something I strongly relate to, and I will give you my take on it.

IS DATING HARDER/WORSE AFTER COLLEGE?
1. Are you going to be more attractive?
I think most women find a twenty-something college graduate with a good career FAR more attractive than a college student.
2. Are the women going to be worse/harder to come by?
There are more women between the ages of 23-32 than there are 18-22. These are some of the most beautiful women out there, all the more so because they're more likely to be experienced and sane. When you're in college, it's

What's your major?
I'm a philosophy major, teehee

When you're an adult, it's

So what do you do?
I'm a lawyer at firm in New York, but I came down to visit my niece.

Which is sexier to you?

HOWEVER
There is one big difference. In college, the attractive women are right under your nose at all times. As an adult, you have to work a little harder to find them. A lot of this comes down to:

• 
  Live in the city, not the suburbs
  Have a good life that you bring women into
  Think about what type of women you're interested in and find out where they go/what they do? Yoga? Hiking? Happy hour? Golf? Young Professionals networking? Drugs? Music?

Seek and ye shall find

 

[Drck]

Just the fact that many guys want to wrap their life only around pussy is fundamentally wrong. Life is greater than that, there should be enthusiasm to accomplish lots of great things, and the easiest Gate through which to enter is education... Pussy should be just on periphery, just number three or four on your list of importance. That's how you develop the right attitude towards your life, that's how you develop true independence of girls and everybody else...

A young guy between 17-25 should be studying hard, working towards challenging degrees, engineering, science, law, finances, medical field or others... Challenge yourself to accomplish above average things, don't just live mediocre life, wasting one of the the best opportunities - and perhaps the only one - in your life to excel... Challenge yourself to achieve great things, and you will become a natural winner in stead of bullshitter... Girls do like winners, remember? It will get only harder as you get older, you won't have that much energy once you hit 30's...