Chase, Franco, Radeng, Anatman: Lets talk about life after college!

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

Are you fucking kidding me right now dude? Take your politics bullshit and moral righteousness somewhere else. Go whine about the system on some thread on politics, this isn't a thread about your ideal vision for America, this is a thread about operating within what currently is. We are not talking about what should be and what would be ideal, we are talking about what is and your advice is bullshit. Go write a phony self-help book like many others but take your shit advice off of this thread, you're telling young guys nonsense that will ruin their youth. At this point I hope you're trolling but anyways, it would be to the benefit of everyone if you left this thread and took your nonsense elsewhere.

I fucking hate this shit, start a thread on what to do about life after college and function in current American society and instead I get this load of nonsense just driving my thread offtopic. All of you, go take your politics and moral values elsewhere, this thread is for guys who are grounded in reality. So god damn annoying and I am usually an easygoing guy but I cannot believe you are ruining my thread with your bullshit politics and moral nonsense, get the fuck out.

 

[Indian Race Troll (IRT)]

I don't usually do this but I am going to try to be the voice of reason here.

The situation at hand with Drck and Kenshin's frustration is just that Drck is not really living in reality when he makes his post. I also wish that students focused on school and studying in their teenage years and saved the partying till they were 25 but that is simply not the reality right now, at least not in America. If someone was to follow Drck's advice, they would end up feeling very frustrated and angered as a result because they would have missed out. College years in the USA are critical for meeting women, building social skills, and learning about sex/dating so you do not hit life after college as a loner.

When Drck makes the post about what American needs to fix about its society, it is a legitimate post but it doesn't belong on this thread. We are not living in Drck's idealized world (which would be a hell of a place to live in if I may add), we are living in the real world. In the real world, social life and dating typically become a lot harder for tons of guys after college. So while Kenshin is otherwise a rational person and reasonable poster, you can understand why some people would be frustrated with Drck's post.

This isn't about politics, society, or what you think is wrong with American society, this about what is wrong with society and how you can operate around the issue. We are talking about making friends, having a social life, and meeting women after college. We are not talking about what is wrong and needs to be fixed in American society because those changes will take years. So I hope Drck understands why his posts aren't exactly contributing much to this thread and Kenshin understands why he needs to cool the fuck off.

 

[Drck]

You guys are very mistaken. Many successful people do work quite hard on pursuing their goal, and in the mean time they have tremendous success with women. Don't have any example of famous academic people that everybody can relate to, but you can easily look at athletes - they spent lots of hours of hard work daily on pursuing their goal and in the mean time they get laid left and right. There is just no way that their primary purpose is chasing pussy...

I'm not saying don't party at all and only study... Im saying don't do to college for partying purposes while barely getting passing grades. Your goal and the reason why to go to college/university should be education. You always meet plenty of people anyway, you can and should always socialize, that's just given. You will always meet plenty of girls and have some time for girls.

This is not some ideal world that you try to put in my mouth, this is a very much real world. You will feel it later on, once you start making money, paying bills and big taxes, and seeing all the people who are able to work yet who are not contributing anything to society... But that requires sort of common sense thinking - which is today unfortunately rather unusual, and perhaps even irritating...

 

[Franco]

Time to chime back in.

Kenshin and Proactivity have a good point here -- this thread is not about "here's what you should do instead of what you want to do."

One thing we want to encourage on the boards is that guys can choose to live the lifestyle that they want to live. This applies to all aspects of life and all ages. If Kenshin wants to discuss how to keep partying after college, then that's what the topic will be about. We are not here to direct him to what any of us think is a "better" lifestyle or more important to society as a whole -- a board with a few hundred members isn't going to change a country with a few hundred million people, so there's no need to direct one individual to go a certain direction when he's less than .001% of the population. That problem is beyond the scope of this thread.

So, if you have something to contribute on Kenshin's topic about "how to party and continue some of the college scene after college," then please contribute. Otherwise, please move on from this thread.

Now, with that being said, we do not allow flaming of any type on this forum. Kenshin, you need to cool your jets -- if you have any issues with a specific member or post on the forums, then please private message me about it and I will handle it.

- Franco

 

[Chase]

+1 to Franco.

Drck, I get what you're saying, and you're probably right, people would do a lot better if they took their studies more seriously (or, better still, actually selected degree programs that taught them skills they could use to make money after graduation). However, that's not what this thread is about.

Kenshin, please... take it down a notch, brother.

On university, yeah, sure, life sucked for me in school, mainly my own doing, and I knew it at the time, too. There's not too much for me to miss there. Every girl wanted to be my girlfriend anyway, so it would've been tough doing too much hooking up for me at the time even if I did have it figured out, and I certainly did NOT have it figured out. I still look back occasionally with rose-colored glasses, and then laugh and remind myself how it really was. I still struggled with the odd relapse into depression until about 6 months after college, and after that it was gone, never to return. Looking back, school always felt like a kind of confinement to me... it was like being locked up somewhere.

In building a life after school, it's going to depend on what you want. If you want a large, college-like social circle, you can certainly build this, though you'll probably be doing in bars/clubs, or the rave scene like Radeng suggests. Most people don't maintain large party groups post-university, because these become unwieldy and impractical. I went through a phase in Southern California where I'd try to get as big a going-out group as I could to go out, and I'd routinely be able to get a group of maybe 10 or 12 people to all head out together, but it was tough getting that organized. Fun though. And at times I'd join other established going out groups of 6 to 15 or so people, girls and guys. These would all be people I met at bars, nightclubs, classes I took, or through friends of friends (sometimes friends of guys I met via pickup forums).

Once I felt like I'd caught up on the social experiences I missed in university, I didn't have too much need for going out with big groups anymore, especially as I found out it didn't help me pick up girls at all (I only recall sleeping with a handful of girls off of these big outings, and usually only because there was an after party at someone's house after), and there wasn't much value for me in just hanging out shooting the breeze with people. It was fun to do for a little while, and then I wanted to get back to self-improvement, but the people who like to hang out in big social groups and drink and party, or at least the ones I was hanging with, aren't too hard-up into that. They're living comfortable lives, and that's enough for them. Plus, I really started drinking heavily when I was going out with groups a lot, and that led to a lot of problems for me. By cutting back on my group socializing, I killed all the problematic drinking.

I became more of a lone wolf once I started traveling again. When I was stuck in one place all the time working a 9-to-5, I guess having friends to go out with was an escape from the grind. Nowadays I'll cram most of my interacting with friends into short periods of time when I'm on travel and swing through cities I have friends in, and I'll crash with a guy and spend a few days just non-stop hanging out and chatting and catching up with him, and then I'm off to the next place. I like this better; without the drinking (or without too much), I can have better conversations with guys, and most of the guys I'm friends with these days are all working on cool things in their lives and I always learn a lot when we compare notes.

Chase