Online & Apps Chase's Guide to Online Dating (2010)

[Thinkingenigma]

Hey, does anyone have a good template for an OkCupid profile? Chase's template for PoF is pretty good but I think it may be a bit difficult to transfer something like that onto OkCupid. My profile seems pretty average where I just answered the profile questions. I have only been successful on that website around twice. I look at profiles and some of the girls look at mine but my messages go ignored 90% of the time. I try either simple hey, what's ups? to picking something out on their profile to talk about. I'm a hispanic average male and I did post that my height was 5'6. It blows being short. However I do wonder if that is why I am not being replied to. Any suggestions or advice?

Here's how I adapted Chase's profile template for OKC. I'm planning on updating it with something more original this summer before I move, but I've pretty much exhausted most of the OKC prospects in Jackson.

 

[Andres]

Here's how I adapted Chase's profile template for OKC. I'm planning on updating it with something more original this summer before I move, but I've pretty much exhausted most of the OKC prospects in Jackson.[/quote]

...I dont see anything.

 

[Thinkingenigma]

Here's how I adapted Chase's profile template for OKC. I'm planning on updating it with something more original this summer before I move, but I've pretty much exhausted most of the OKC prospects in Jackson.

...I dont see anything.[/quote]


Sorry, my browser is being stupid. Here's the text of my profile since the link isn't working.

My self-summary
Tired of reading the same boring profile over and over again? “I like hanging out with friends, going to the beach, and surfing / snorkeling / snowboarding.” Fascinating, and utterly unique.

NOT! Boring... yawn. Onto the next profile.

First of all, I don't “date”. I kick ass. So we probably won't have a first date. We'll have a first ass-kicking session. But don't worry, we won't be kicking each OTHER'S asses... just other people's. I like to do things together on a first ass-kicking.

Where will we have our first ass-kicking? I'm afraid I can't say. If I did, no one would go there and we'd be out of asses to kick. So for now, you're just going to have to sit tight and trust my judgment. Don't worry... you've never met a man with judgment like mine.

You? I expect you to be AMAZING. Like, capable of both kicking Angelina Jolie's ass all over Hollywood, while at the same time being able to talk over all five chicks on The View. Or is it six now? Looks are important. Smarts are important. In fact, everything's important. If you've got it ALL going on, apply below. If not... don't worry, there are still plenty of guys on here who play the guitar and know how to surf and would love to grab dinner and a movie somewhere between both of your addresses.

Think you can handle me? You're probably wrong. But if you're bold, go ahead and try and find out...
What I’m doing with my life
Me? Chances are, I probably like the same things you do and have done them / do them regularly. Because I do all kinds of shit. Like you wouldn't even BELIEVE. I go to school in Jackson, but I'm a Memphian through and through. That's right old lady, sit down before you have a heart attack. I represent.
I’m really good at
Kicking asses first and asking questions later!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay... fill me out!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I’m an empty essay... fill me out!
The six things I could never do without
Friends
Art
Food
Love
Creativity
Adrenaline
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I think this Quiver douchebot is beginning to just take wild stabs...perhaps it should be called OKmaybe.
On a typical Friday night I am
Not sleeping! I'm usually figuring out something crazy and fun to do!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay... fill me out!
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys
Ages 18–22
Near me
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
You are beautiful, kind, compassionate, intelligent, witty, wonderful, giving, generous, self-assured, modest, humble, outgoing, shy, etc.

Or if you just want to give me something valuable, like eternal wisdom, a free ticket to Paris, or a house, you know, anything like that.

 

[Andres]

Ah ok, I guess I was wrong in assuming it didn't quite carry over as good. Here is my bland example:

My self-summary
This part is best appreciated in person. I guess for now I can summarize myself as educated, and usually relatable (the second given that you are atleast half normal). With a name like xxpranxstaxx, you are probably thinking i'm full of shit. That though, was my childhood username OkCupid will not let me get rid of. So some more about me: I tend to really study people....just not in that creepy way like that guy that stares at you on the bus/work/traffic. By that, I mean i'm pretty into psychology and sociology and why people do the things they do which gives me the curious trait. I am also blunt at times and will speak my mind even if it's on something people won't exactly agree with. I'm also pretty cultured, meaning I am familiar with the practices of other cultures and engage in a few of my own. I am not scared of too many things and those I am scared of well...yeah, i'm not gonna tell you right away. I am also pretty logical and linear about things which I assume is a guy thing. I also like to attempt to master whatever skill I pick up. So yeah, that's what I can come up with when talking about myself so far.
What I’m doing with my life
After deciding the military wasn't a career path for me (which I joined right after highschool), I finished my service (honorably) and I am now graduating from community college and goin to FIU. I noticed everyone likes to post their major on here so mine is Biology and I am trying to become a renowned zoologist like Steve Irwin, or some of these other guys on Animal Planet.
I’m really good at
knowing something about anything. Fishing and guns. I can shoot pool like a pro. I can draw pretty good as well as write. I play a Chinese oboe and I don't know anyone else down here who does. I also got a synthesizer. I'm also really good with animals, even insects.
The first things people usually notice about me
that I don't LOOK my age at all. So yeah, I look young but I'd bet in my 25 years of existence I've done and experienced alot more things in my life than the average person my age. I once rocked stretched lobes like in my pictures but I have since then closed them. Gotta grow up sooner or later.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My books range from school textbooks (on what I study) to dystopian works like Anthem, 1984, Fahrenheit 451, memoirs like Dharma Punx, comedies such as Tucker Max. Also, childhood stuff like Goosebumps and Harry Potter (I have all of them). And that's just scratching the surface.

I like mainly comedy and action movies. Sacha Baron Cohen is my favorite comedian. I always laugh so hard with that guy. This thing should include video games too...I don't play as much as I once did but I like racing, fighting, combat/action/adventure games (I have an obsession with Grand Theft Auto and all the pop culture it provides with each game).

As for shows well I don't watch tv often but I did love That 70's Show, The Walking Dead, The Simpsons, Family Guy, some manga here and there, cartoons from Nick and Cartoon Network, and documentaries on Animal Planet, TLC, and Discovery channel.

I can enjoy most types of music from the catchiest hip-hop tunes to the heaviest or most punk/metal of rock to the wildest of EDM, to even country, indie/folk, and classic rock (i'm pretty picky with those last three though).

When it comes to food I'm a bottomless pit. I've done a world tour of ethnic restaurants and there isn't many left I have yet to do. But yeah, I really love seafood and meat dishes (I'm almost a carnivore, sorry vegans =/).
The six things I could never do without
-Phone
-Internet
-Car
-People
-Beach
-Music
just like anyone else, right?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
the future and what's in store for me.
On a typical Friday night I am
wasted out of my ass dodging cops on the way home. Well that was the old me. I drink responsibly now. But yeah my hangouts are usually a show, bar, lounge, beach, or house party.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Well that's where the fun starts.
I’m looking for
Girls who like guys
Ages 21–27
Near me
Who are single
For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, activity partners
You should message me if
I spark your interest AFTER YOU READ THE ABOUT ME AND DIDN'T JUST SKIM THROUGH PICTURES. Bonus points if you are not a heightist and if your conversations carry substance. Also if you are drug-free. Surprisingly, drugs have not been a part of my world since maturing and I expect the same from you.

I think this is gonna be the last week of me giving that style a shot before I overhaul it with something derived from here. I'm open to constructive criticism on it.

 

[girlsfollow]

Big respect for putting your stuff out there like that - this stuff is great! I have changed my pic aswell but my response rate has gone through the roof! Also have girls messaging me now - first day and had 4 message me - although the ones that message me are usually of debatable quality..

Will keep you updated - its awesome!

 

[girlsfollow]

Big respect for putting your stuff out there like that - this stuff is great! I have changed my pic aswell but my response rate has gone through the roof! Also have girls messaging me now - first day and had 4 message me - although the ones that message me are usually of debatable quality..

Will keep you updated - its awesome!

Big fail - met up with one that seemed cute in pics but turned out to be a whale with a totally unrecognisable face! I Actually walked up to her thinking it might be and then thought it wasnt and walked straight past - only when she texted her clothes did I realise - I even bought her a drink in a really cheap bar and ended it quickly - what was I thinking - NEVER meet up unless lower body pics are very clear and not from above. waste time! she sent me a text saying I could do far better - why lie in your pics then!

 

[Andres]

Oh no, that bites. I had an experience like that when I was stationed in Japan (fat japanese girls do exist). Only this one caught me before I can escape and I figured she might have friends so I'll just be nice to her. That backfired miserably and I just ended up bedding her a few times out of convenience. If I can describe her body it was shaped like a barrel with two pancakes and a milk dud on top of each pancake. I gave up on OkCupid and took Chase's advice and got a girlfriend in real life. We make a month on Tuesday.

 

[BlackBolt]

Thoughts on shirtless pictures displaying abs?

 

[mkivtt]

If you have em, show em. All that stuff women say about not digging it is total BS... they do. There's another good website (goodlookingloser) about girls and they advocate it too. *Especially* if you aren't looking for an LTR, but are looking for girls who will sleep with you. Show your muscles.

 

[trashKENNUT]

i saw this post, and looking at Chase's photo again, IT looks Badass!

Zac

 

[The Byronic Man]

Chase, your opener template is indeed awesome, and my response rate is now much higher.

However, I'm not able to convert many of these responses to dates. There are many responses where I can't continue the convo after the 2nd or 3rd message. And then there are those where it's super easy...you can use textbook baiting to get her to keep asking questions. Are some girls simply responding to the opener because it's entertaining? Or should I be able to set up dates with ALL girls who respond back (so the problem is that I'm doing something wrong with the responses)?

Online, it's like they're either attracted to you or not, and what you say doesn't matter that much. It's like the opener is just a hook to get them to check out your photos and profile out, and if they like it, it's game as long as you don't say anything stupid (something I may be doing with many of these girls, hence my low conversion rate). So it's still mostly a numbers game.

I've also been playing around with how quickly I can set up the date (which leads to the number close). Sometimes, I can do it in a few messages. Sometimes 10. Then I have this one chick who wants to set up the date online instead text (WTF). It's incredible how different each woman is.

 

[The Byronic Man]

I know Chase recommends to keep the messages light and bantery. I'm struggling with setting up the date with just banter alone. So instead, I've been deep diving (sometimes it takes some bantering/repartee to get there) with a few messages (don't want to get too deep), then transition to the date. Seems to work better for me so far. Needs to be field tested with a larger sample though. Will report later on my findings.

I now have a high quality problem where I have too many girls that I can't squeeze into my already busy schedule. I'm pushing the girls I'm less into off to next week...should be interested to see if their attraction will last that long. My plan is to message/text them every few days to keep their attraction up. Just seems weird to disappear for a week and then expect her to show up.

 

[mkivtt]

I've been using some of Chase's tips and am having more luck with responses than before. I think I got all of 1 response then, but admittedly I wasn't really messaging more than maybe 10-15 girls. They were all 8+, which is kind of futile. This time, I cast a wider web and included girls that are a 7 or maybe even a 6.5 with a nice smile and nice profile.

So far, I've messaged about 40 girls, and got 5 responses. Perhaps more later, as it's only been 24 hrs since I sent them and several haven't logged in yet.

Anyway, what I wanted to share with my fellow PUAs-in-traning is the following profile from BlackDragon's dating blog... Check it out at www.blackdragon-blog.com(no spam intended, it's different from GirlsChase as it's less practical and more philosophical). A while ago he had a dating profile contest where the submissions were rated by ~10 real women. This was the winning entry:

Is the glass half empty, half full, or just twice as large as it needs to be? I dislike seeing things in just black and white. I like to measure life not by the breaths I take, but by the moments that take my breath away – when the volume-knob of life is turned all the way down, and I am snuggling up by the fireplace with someone special under a blanket. Or when the volume-knob is turned all the way up, and I am having the time of my life sipping a cocktail on some tropical island wearing a dorky Hawaiian shirt with Lei flowers around my neck.

Basically: You better love to have fun, or we won’t get along. I like to think of myself as confident, but not arrogant. I’m a very humble man. I don’t run away from problems. Also I watched my sister get her heart broken many times, and this made me realize how important it is to treat a woman right. My mother also taught me how to have inner strength and not get walked on. I am easy going, and I love to put a smile on people’s faces, no matter where I am or who I am with. Some stuck up people may think it’s strange, but you might find me making faces back at the kids in the car in front of me.

Are you able to handle masculine energy? I can be quite a handful. Do you consider yourself a bit dorky rather than “hot”, educated rather than just “street-smart”, a creator rather than a consumer, and happy rather than content? In that case, we should talk. “Everybody dies, not everybody lives.” — I love the quote, but have no idea where it’s from. 10 brownie points if you can tell me. 100 points and a cereal box top can be redeemed for the best brownie recipe in the world. Anyways… I just want to hang out casually to see if there is some chemistry between us. That, or potential for a friendship. I’m fine with either outcome – or neither. Maybe I’ll meet someone special online – maybe you will, too. Send me a quick email with why you think we would get along well, and we’ll take it from there.

I modified it a bit (as it's a bit long, and you don't want girls knowing you're a "fake" copying/pasting) and am using it now. Just an alternative to Chase's profile tips further up.

Good luck to all.

 

[57Things]

I had pretty good results off online dating, and I think Chase has covered most of the salient points in making a profile + sending a message. However, I think moving the meets offline is another critical aspect.

I remind you that I am not tall, so I came in at a disadvantage.

I generally tried to move the dates offline as fast as possible. There's no tangible benefit to trying to connect over online messages. You can't deliver kino rewards, you can't look into her eyes. YOU CAN'T MOVE THE INTERACTION FORWARD.

Here's what I did.

I generally treat the online first message back-and-forth to be like banter. In Chase's process, it's the point up UNTIL asking her to MOVE, to SIT with you. What I do is keep the interaction very light, very funny, and to have fun. You can ask a few personal questions, to get out her values, and be sure to reward those... Try to move the topic towards geography & activities if you can. For instance:

"Blah blah...Got any favorite places in the city?"
"So what have you got up to around here? Any crazy stories? "

But at a high point, you MUST suggest meeting up somewhere. Make sure to keep it casual, to minimize her mental investment--IN KEEPING WITH THE VIBE you've created.

Most of the time, she readily agreed.

Occasionally you get pushback, as in:

"I don't know you. I'm worried, etc..."

My response was:

"Haha, I get where you're coming from. But here's how I see it: I think you're pretty cool, and I'd like to get to know you better. But there's only so far that talking online can go, at least in my experience.

"Let's do this. Let's meet at so&so place, chat for a bit, and see how it goes. In turn, let me know whatever would make you feel safe. I'll tell u my fb, or u can tell ppl, w/e. Whatever you feel comfortable with.

"That work? lol "

Message might not be perfect, but it worked for me.

I welcome all thoughts.

Peace

-57

 

[mkivtt]

I agree on moving as fast as you can. More than a few messages back and forth = she will start to get bored = she will move on.

I haven't had any issues moving girls who respond to my 1st message. I started 2 weekends ago, and messaged about 30 girls, all a 7+. I got about 7 responses, much more than I'd hoped for. I'm pretty good at texting and messaging, thank goodness. So of those 7 girls, after a few messages back and forth, all but one gave me their # to call them or wanted to meet without directly talking on the phone. And that one hasn't logged in since I messaged her, so I still have some hopes she will respond when she does.

The 1st message uses the template Chase provided ("I hear people who like X and Y make for terrible Wii sports players"), then when they respond, tease and flirt in the 2nd message (self-deprecating humor works really wel), reward her ("oh my, I'll give you a bonus point for <xyz in her profile>") and add a question or two based on her profile. In the 3rd message I usually add more questions and fun, which turns it to about 3-4 paragraphs, which would be a bit annoying for her to respond to as it gets very confusing to respond to each question and add your own. So I conclude that 3rd message with "hey, this is getting a bit long, why don't we chat in person instead to make sure neither of us is a stealth weirdo?" again based on Chase's template. They usually agree and provide their # or say they want to meet without talking on the phone.

 

[reyna91]

So i recently, got fascinated about online dating and getting girls on websites such as POF. Trust me when I say, Ive worked hard and got something good. I dont know if anyone is still interested in this topic but Ive got a good ideas to get you plenty girls on POF....plenty not a couple.

 

[Godsninja]

Hey, so I started using POF again and made a profile simply looking for hookups, and offering women multiple orgasms, that sortta thing. I took my picture down though because I'm not sure if I feel comfortable with that lol, girls might recognize me and besides, it aint that good of an opening. So I'll probably take Chases advice and re-do my profile sometime, but I cant change my profile name, which leads to my question...

Does the name of the POF account matter? I called mine 'EarthShatteringOrgasm' or something like that, is that fine?

 

[Godsninja]

So i recently, got fascinated about online dating and getting girls on websites such as POF. Trust me when I say, Ive worked hard and got something good. I dont know if anyone is still interested in this topic but Ive got a good ideas to get you plenty girls on POF....plenty not a couple.

go for it man, share it up

 

[Amadeaus]

This is a pretty solid guide I think.

I decided to try this last week after one of my co-workers told me about his friend that hooked up with a pretty hot girl off one of those. I think that story was a lie though, b/c the premise was that his friend is ugly and awkward and made a page and a hot girl message him and they hooked up on the first date. Some of those details are probably a little inaccurate

My first few days, I made the honest profile. I made one on okcupid and pof. On okcupid, I answered all the questionaire to give myself a super hyper sexualized rating on there. The picture I put up was a mirror selfie of me eating a piece of pizza. I was getting able 10ish views a day.

A girl messaged me the first day, she had a typical picture that didn't show a lot. I was a little on the fence, but figured I'd get some practice with this thing. She ended up texting the hell out of me, while I was at work and really annoyed the fk out of me. The next morning, I looked her up on facebook and saw she was fatter than I thought. I texted her that morning that something came up. She asked about rescheduling and I said i'd let her know, that I had a lot of work.

After that, I sent some messages out. Girls would just read it, look at my page and never respond. So I came on here to see what literature was available.

I added 2 more pictures to my profile. One of me in Iraq eating a banana and one of me at a concert with a couple girls. I then rewrote my profile and went with the silly approach. I wrote that I was a pirate and themed most of my stuff after that show, Black Sails. For my title line, I used one of those run for the hills headers.

I also scouted out what kind of dudes were in my age bracket in town. At first, I just changed the search to dudes. I thought they all seemed a little off, then I noticed that if you just change the search to dudes on okcupid, it changes to dude looking for dude haha! So I logged out and did a search. I noticed every guy said they were looking for a relationship and all the pictures looked really generic and boring. Also all of there profiles were the same generic crap.

So the pirate with the mirror pizza selfie that said he is not looking for any commitment really sticks out. I've noticed an increase in the number of attractive women that view my page, I'm getting less fatties checking me out, and my response rate is up to about %10 or %15. I'm meeting up with a cute 6' tall blonde tomorrow. I'm like 5'9, I've been with tall girls a few times and they are pretty fun and strait forward, so I'm looking forward to this one.

Some good advice in this thread. (thumbs up)

 

[Amadeaus]

And yeah, as people said. Move things offline asap. I've been asking for their availability and setting things up on the 2nd/3rd message.

Also, unlike in the real world, you can give them your number. I've been putting a bit of effort into asking them as few questions as possible. Like only 1 question per message at the most. Then for the dates, I've been just saying "lets do this", "grab that", etc.. Then I just sign "-Amadeaus 867.5309" and they all text me pretty much right away. Its pretty interesting, I learned pretty early on that giving a girl my number will go nowhere, but it works fine in online dating.

But yeah, move fast. If you send them more than 3 messages on the site, you are doing it wrong.