chasing for taking to bed?

[natedawg]

Got a quick question on how to handle this with escalation windows vs chasing. I've got a hard to nail down girl, haven't bedded her yet but the next time we meet I'm 99% sure I will be able to get her in bed. She is a busy and accomplished girl with the tightest schedule I have ever seen, but high value and a challenge for me.

I've put in some investment and I know she wants me, but I'm at the point where I think any more on my part will start to look like chasing and I need to play elusive for awhile. BUT I also feel like the escalation window is going to close soon. Do I push for a meeting and try to bed her or let her hang? If I bed her, I know she's mine. I'm torn.

 

[D_Smooth1900]

Hey natedawg,

You should push for a meeting, just don't Come off as needy. Ask her what she's doing on that day.If she's free, set up a meet. If she's not, tell her to contact you when she has some free time, that way you'll throw the ball in her court, and if she really likes you she will.

Give her two weeks and if she still doesn't reply, I advice you to move on. Hope that helps

-Smooth

 

[NarrowJ]

Natedawg,

Got a quick question on how to handle this with escalation windows vs chasing.

One important thing to remember is that if it's an escalation window, then you're not chasing. A good way to think of it is this: If you're trying to advance at the same time while she's retreating, that's chasing. If she's not retreating/resisting, then you're not chasing. Thirdly, if she's actually giving you escalation windows, then you're definitely not chasing.

That's why those windows are there, for you to use them to advance/escalate.

If she's retreating (i.e., you've asked her out 2 or 3 times and she clearly doesn't have or won't make time for you), and you continue to ask her out without putting the ball in her court, then you're chasing.

Another example would be if you ask her out for coffee and tell her to let you know when she's free, and she says she is busy this week but would like to next week, then you can just wait and hit her up later and not be chasing. She's not retreating in this scenario, she's just busy (and told you she'd like to do something later on when she's not so busy).

Just going off of what you wrote here:

've got a hard to nail down girl, haven't bedded her yet but the next time we meet I'm 99% sure I will be able to get her in bed.

Sounds like you just need to work around her schedule. Don't overthink it at this point. If she starts to retreat in some way, then you've got to dial back accordingly with your advances. The article I linked on when to throw the ball in her court and when not to should help clear this up, I think.

Good luck, man!

J.J.

 

[FeelIWastedMyYouth]

Hey natedawg,

You should push for a meeting, just don't Come off as needy. Ask her what she's doing on that day.If she's free, set up a meet. If she's not, tell her to contact you when she has some free time, that way you'll throw the ball in her court, and if she really likes you she will.

Give her two weeks and if she still doesn't reply, I advice you to move on. Hope that helps

-Smooth

that sounds about right