Check ego out the door

[Sub-Zero]

Guys, how do i check me ego out the door? It's hard fore to approach because my ego and pride won't let me get rejected and when i do get rejected i get angry as hell and want to curse the girl out. Then i think of all of the times i got rejected and how i felt and that makes me want to not approach because i feel like shit and get angry when rejected.

You guys got any tips for me to get my ego out the way and stop getting so angry about rejections?

 

[Glitch]

I know the feeling, it just takes time.

Go in from a clearly logical standpoint. Think of it as a practical, I found that if I approached it just like I did with my scientific projects it allowed me to keep to the logical instead of the emotional.

To tell you truth I've never had a seriously bad rejection however when it comes to other matters when I do get angry I have the same thoughts and then some. I appear calm and collected but when I'm angry I go really quiet, isolate myself so I don't lash out at anyone because I'm angry, head to the gym and smash the heavy bags.

Usual process:

Angry - Breath for 10 seconds - Contemplate - Brood - Isolate myself - Angry? Y/N -

/N - Meditate - Think it through - Action
/Y - Brood - Angry - Go to gym - Heavy Bags 4hrs + - Think - Repeat if angry

Going through this right now actually, calmed down a little bit but thoughts still lingering.

Just take 10 seconds out and really think about. Anyway she's one of millions of women you could be meeting. There will be one that will be equal or superior to the last one that enjoys your presence. You just need to carry on.

 

[Mr.Rob]

Lol I can't honestly relate to your issue very well. Personally I talk to about 15-20 girls a week and I'd say I get rejected about 90% of the time and I usually look like this afterwards =D.

Perhaps you're hooked on validation or something in which may be a deeper issue but dude you gotta stop being butt hurt and just do the damn thing and learn to laugh about it. One of my greatest sources of comedy is getting rejected and either laughing at how the girl reacted to me or how lame/dumb I was (not every approach is going to go how you want).

When you get butt hurt it reeks insecurity. You think James Bond is going to cuss a girl out that rejects him? No he's probably going to make a funny quip about it and continue his walk down the beach (or whatever locale he's in) and get lost in deep thought about his next mission.

As far as tips go, I'd highly highly recommend getting into meditation for 20 minutes a day. Your ego technically only exists in the past (self image based on who you think you are based on the stories you tell yourself) and the future (who you feel you should be) so mediation helps by getting you grounded in the now. Realize that your self image is bullshit and isn't real. If you learn pickup there are going to be times when you're the weird creepy PUA guy. Theres also going to be times when your the super charismatic gangster pimp. Which one are you? Both/neither are both correct answers.

Other than that you just have to fucking do the damn thing and learn to deal with it. Start off small with low risk openers or a shtick and work your way up from there to direct openers and putting your real self on the line.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3OhvYNdvRw
Watch from 5:00 until 12:00. Perhaps some motivation to get you started.

Good luck,

-Rob

 

[ray_zorse]

I agree it's all in how you handle rejection, but also it's about giving value -- think about how you would want things to go if you were a girl. A guy comes up to you and expresses an interest. You are too busy to stop, or he just doesn't happen to be your cup of tea, or he isn't warmed up and doesn't come across smoothly enough for your taste. You're flattered but you don't want to lead him on or give him false hope. So you say firmly "No, that's okay, thanks anyway"... how would you want him to react? If he gets upset / angry you will also be upset & feel your honesty wasn't appreciated.

Example interaction from last Friday: I saw a cute Asian girl eating alone in the Japanese cafe slightly off campus. Hesitated bit, sat near her, when I finished eating she was still there and I decided to approach. Stood beside her, touched her on the shoulder with back of my hand to pre open, met her eyes "hi there (pause, think I forgot to smile as I was in my head a bit) I saw you were eating all alone, and I decided to keep you company if I can" by this time I was smiling a sexy smile, she said "oh no, that's okay" shaking her head a bit, so I just smiled at her even more warmly, looked into her eyes a bit, placed my open hand on her back and said in a deep slow sexy voice "okay..." and then left the restaurant, I am pretty sure I enhanced her day so this was really just another good interaction even if she wasn't into me. You can do this too.

You can also practice cheeky grins & comebacks to get them to smile a little and maybe even regret later that they blew u out. It's all about getting out of your head and realizing the worst that can happen is they say no, in which case all you have lost is a few minutes of your time, in fact you've also gained because you can troubleshoot, what did I forget to do etc.

cheers, Ray

 

[Sub-Zero]

Ok sounds good guys. Yeah its like a catch 22 for me. If i get rejected i get angry and feel stupid, if i don't approach and get rejected I'm angry because I feel like a bitch for not trying. It's just when i get rejected i feel shocked and feel im not as good as i think i am. But i have to just not give a damn and laugh about it.