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- Feb 13, 2013
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- 1,279
I grabbed lunch with a couple co-workers Wednesday at a local Chinese buffet.
As soon as we sat down a table of three women were seated a few tables over from us. One of them looks amazing: long brown hair, athletic build, YOGA PANTS.
I follow her around the buffet like a fuckin’ creepazoid for a minute (but what seemed like an eternity), waiting for her to stop long enough for me to actually say anything to her. Finally, she stops and eyeballs a few things. I come around the other side, pretending to scope out the food. I’m actually scoping out dat ass. She has like 3 little things on her plate.
We both smile and she walks off. I wanted to grab her number, but it didn’t feel “right” for some reason.
The three of us guys eat and then sit and bullshit, as we’re in no hurry to get back to work. The three girls get up to leave at some point, and I decide to go try and grab this girl’s phone number anyway, because “fuck it”.
I have a photographic memory when it comes to things like phone numbers and stuff like that, so I don’t even put it in my phone right away.
Her friends look on in horror.
I go back and sit down, and they’re ready to leave. One of the guys is like “You just got that chick’s phone number, didn’t you? You dawg”
Fuck yeah, motherfucker. Just another day.
;-P
I shoot her an icebreaker about 6 PM:
Then, later that evening about 11:00-
We exchange a couple more sexy pics and chat back and forth for a while and plan to meet this Sunday afternoon. It has to be discreet, so I told her she could just come over and have a couple drinks and watch a movie.
Her boyfriend sounds like a real fuckin’ shitbird.
The next morning she texts me: “Good morning!”
We text back and forth and she starts talking dirty to me again. She’s at work today. At some point she says she’s so fucking horny she can’t stand it, and wants to “fuck me right now”
Later, about 4:30 PM:
At this point, I’m just waiting to get off work. She is going to go freshen up and just come straight over. She gets off a half hour earlier than I do, so I’ll just head home and wait.
When I get off work, I go grab a 24 oz tall can of Budweiser because I have found out that if I have 2-3 drinks that I can fully control when I climax, which is awesome.
I get home, pop the can and just watch tv and wait for her to call.
About a half hour later my phone rings, and I give her directions to my place. She pulls in the driveway, and comes to the door. I open the door and let her in, and give her a half-ass tour of my place. I am not going to just escalate right away, because she seems a bit nervous.
She looks really good. Tight jeans and a loose fitting green shirt, and she’s accessorized very well with a plethora of bracelets and a necklace and long, dangly earrings. And she smells good too.
I go use the bathroom, and then she needs to use it. We make some small talk about my house (she comments that it’s clean for a single guy) and she walks around checking stuff out.
She’s looking at a picture hanging on the wall and asks about it, and I walk up behind her and put my arms around her and tell her I painted it (I really did). She says it’s amazing, and asks me if I have more. I say the rest of them hanging up in here are mine too, and kiss her on the neck. She turns around we make out (we’re in the kitchen).
After a minute, I stop making out with her and take her hand and pull her into my bedroom. We lay down on my bed, and undress each other and the tall can worked perfectly ;P and I’m able to withstand her 10 minute blowjob and 20-30 minutes of sex until I pull out and blow my load on her tits.
About 20 minutes later, I jump back on for round two.
Like I said earlier, she had a shit-ton of jewelry on. A bunch of bracelets up her forearm, like two necklaces, long dangly shiny earrings and she even had a belly chain. It was a bit like fucking a Christmas tree, to be completely honest.
She left about an hour later, and sent me a text: “Thanks”
J.J.
As soon as we sat down a table of three women were seated a few tables over from us. One of them looks amazing: long brown hair, athletic build, YOGA PANTS.
I follow her around the buffet like a fuckin’ creepazoid for a minute (but what seemed like an eternity), waiting for her to stop long enough for me to actually say anything to her. Finally, she stops and eyeballs a few things. I come around the other side, pretending to scope out the food. I’m actually scoping out dat ass. She has like 3 little things on her plate.
We both smile and she walks off. I wanted to grab her number, but it didn’t feel “right” for some reason.
The three of us guys eat and then sit and bullshit, as we’re in no hurry to get back to work. The three girls get up to leave at some point, and I decide to go try and grab this girl’s phone number anyway, because “fuck it”.
I have a photographic memory when it comes to things like phone numbers and stuff like that, so I don’t even put it in my phone right away.
Her friends look on in horror.
I go back and sit down, and they’re ready to leave. One of the guys is like “You just got that chick’s phone number, didn’t you? You dawg”
Fuck yeah, motherfucker. Just another day.
;-P
I shoot her an icebreaker about 6 PM:
Me: Hey Leah! It’s NJ. This is my #
Her: Well hey there! Good evening
Then, later that evening about 11:00-
Her: I told my friends I gave you a fake number. But I didn’t! LOL
Me: Haha that’s funny. I wondered if you’d even give it to me but I had to ask! Didn’t want to embarrass you in front of them or anything.
Her: LOL.
Her: Well it wasn’t that.
Her: I’m kinda in a relationship.
Me: What do you mean, “kinda”?
Her: LOL well we live together.
Her: You’re so totally going to run for the hills now, aren’t you?
Me: Haha, no way… but tell me more about it
Her: Um, let’s see. We have been together since high school, he has never asked me to marry him, but has gained a 60lb beer gut and doesn’t have sex with me anymore and doesn’t want kids.
Her: LOL I’m totally scaring you off right now.
Me: Haha. You’re not scaring me off. Chill out, I like you. That doesn’t sound like a fun situation to me.
Her: It’s not at all! LOL. He isn’t necessarily controlling, but he just like… questions everything I do! And I stay in shape, why can’t he? Ya know?
Me: How do you stay in shape? Do you run/ work out / etcetera? (trying to change the subject now)
Her: I do crossfit! We have classes at work.
Me: That’s super cool. We have a gym at work too, and a swimming pool/hot tub/saunas. I love it. So convenient.
Her: Whoa, LOL, I’m super jealous. I can tell you work out. Those sexy arms…
Me: Well, thanks. You sure looked good in those yoga pants
Her: (sends photo of herself laying on a couch in just underwear and a bra)
Me: Nice
Me: (sends photo of my bare stomach/chest/shoulders)
Her: Omg you’re fuckin fine!
Her: That’s masturbation material right there
Me: Haha thanks
We exchange a couple more sexy pics and chat back and forth for a while and plan to meet this Sunday afternoon. It has to be discreet, so I told her she could just come over and have a couple drinks and watch a movie.
Her boyfriend sounds like a real fuckin’ shitbird.
The next morning she texts me: “Good morning!”
We text back and forth and she starts talking dirty to me again. She’s at work today. At some point she says she’s so fucking horny she can’t stand it, and wants to “fuck me right now”
Her: I just want to fuck you right now!
Me: I’m def down with that!
Her: I can’t leave work. What are you doing after you get off work?
Me: Well, I hadn’t made any plans. You’re welcome to stop by if you want to.
Her: Let me see what I can work out.
Me: Sounds good
Later, about 4:30 PM:
Her: I better freshen up… lord. I tanned and all today. LOL. I want to leave you wanting seconds. I am on [street name]. How far of drive is that to your place?
Me: (sends her my address)
Me: GPS it, it’s only like 15 mins from you I think.
Her: Ok, so my fastest way is [street name] out
Me: Yea down [highway name] and take the [town name] exit
Her: Ok. And your house is easy to find?
Me: Yeah [insert explanation of house]. It’s the first road past [landmark(s)]. Just call me when you get in town.
Her: Alright. You nervous or excited or neither lol
Me: Excited. Anxious. Not nervous. I feel like we have a really good connection.
Her: Ok, me too. I have to admit I am nervous.
Me: Nothing to be nervous about! I can’t wait to see you.
Her: Awww. That made me feel a tad better.
Me: Good
Her: I have just never made plans to fuck. I mean like this. So do I walk in and say hi and start making out with you.. haha or do we skip straight to kissing and sex
Me: Haha. We don’t have to have sex at all. Just come see me and whatever happens, happens. No pressure or anything.
Her: Awww. Have I said how sweet you are?
Me: Haha well thanks. Just don’t overthink it. We’re just gonna hang out and have a nice time together.
Her: Ok
Her: I’m counting down the clock. I’m totally excited I met you yesterday!
At this point, I’m just waiting to get off work. She is going to go freshen up and just come straight over. She gets off a half hour earlier than I do, so I’ll just head home and wait.
When I get off work, I go grab a 24 oz tall can of Budweiser because I have found out that if I have 2-3 drinks that I can fully control when I climax, which is awesome.
I get home, pop the can and just watch tv and wait for her to call.
About a half hour later my phone rings, and I give her directions to my place. She pulls in the driveway, and comes to the door. I open the door and let her in, and give her a half-ass tour of my place. I am not going to just escalate right away, because she seems a bit nervous.
She looks really good. Tight jeans and a loose fitting green shirt, and she’s accessorized very well with a plethora of bracelets and a necklace and long, dangly earrings. And she smells good too.
I go use the bathroom, and then she needs to use it. We make some small talk about my house (she comments that it’s clean for a single guy) and she walks around checking stuff out.
She’s looking at a picture hanging on the wall and asks about it, and I walk up behind her and put my arms around her and tell her I painted it (I really did). She says it’s amazing, and asks me if I have more. I say the rest of them hanging up in here are mine too, and kiss her on the neck. She turns around we make out (we’re in the kitchen).
After a minute, I stop making out with her and take her hand and pull her into my bedroom. We lay down on my bed, and undress each other and the tall can worked perfectly ;P and I’m able to withstand her 10 minute blowjob and 20-30 minutes of sex until I pull out and blow my load on her tits.
About 20 minutes later, I jump back on for round two.
Like I said earlier, she had a shit-ton of jewelry on. A bunch of bracelets up her forearm, like two necklaces, long dangly shiny earrings and she even had a belly chain. It was a bit like fucking a Christmas tree, to be completely honest.
She left about an hour later, and sent me a text: “Thanks”
J.J.
