FR Chinese girl number close

[average_daygamer]

In my small daygame city today, I went between 12-1500 and did 3 approaches, the last one resulting in a weak number close.

I opened with "Hi, are you a Japanese student" she said "No, Chinese". At first I thought she was being sarcastic as I didn't notice an accent at all. I don't often approach east Asians because I am worried they will struggle to understand my spoken English, not necessarily that they don't speak English well as I think it's part of their school curriculum now.

Her spoken English was good but there were some gaps with her understanding where she didn't understand what I said.

I suggested we can go and look around the cathedral in the city for an instant date as something to do, but she said she had already seen it.

She suggested we could "go for drinks" somewhat half heartedly to which I half heartedly agreed. I do not drink alcohol myself but I plan to buy her some and then try some kino escalation once she has loosened up. In such a hypothetical scenario, as it hasn't happened yet.

I tried to push for the Insta date but she said she had to go shopping. I asked when else she was free and she said "only today" which I found unusual, I took it as a soft rejection so I didn't get my hopes up.

Later on, I texted her that I was still in the city and had time to do something but it has been 3 1/2 hours and she hasn't responded, so I do believe it is a flake.

Here is the text I sent

"Hi Ms H, it was nice to meet youI have time to meet, later today. I would like to find out more about you!"

Is there anything I can do differently? I find it tricky to come across flirty but not creepy, enthusiastic but not needy and clear in my intentions but not too blunt.

Maybe I showed too much investment, I don't know. She certainly seemed on the fence about it, so the flake is not surprising.

The interaction wasn't the best due to the language barrier, at least with English chicks, I can express my personality a bit better.

So, if there is anything I have learnt, it's that all chicks flake, even ones from the other side of the world who have never seen me walking up and down the high street before!

But that is one of the reasons I shy away from approaching non English speaking chicks as I struggle to have a decent conversation even with English speaking ones.

 

[Chase]

@average_daygamer,

Nice to see you out there trying.

I opened with "Hi, are you a Japanese student" she said "No, Chinese".

Better than nothing but stronger openers are generally going to be better.

You can then follow up the opener with asking her nationality/ethnicity.

I don't often approach east Asians because I am worried they will struggle to understand my spoken English

Doesn't matter. You're the English-speaker, which is higher value. If a girl doesn't understand all your English, but she is trying to follow along and get as much of it as she can, she is coming into your world and complying with your frame.

I suggested we can go and look around the cathedral in the city for an instant date as something to do, but she said she had already seen it.

Ask if she's seen X first, see how interested she seems to see X if she hasn't seen it, and only then propose it as an instant date.

e.g.:

YOU: Have you seen the Cathedral yet?
HER: I have; it's beautiful.
YOU: It is, yeah! blah blah [change the topic]

Or

YOU: Have you seen the Cathedral yet?
HER: No; I want to go!
YOU: What are you doing right now? Up for an impromptu Cathedral tour?
HER: Sure!

She suggested we could "go for drinks" somewhat half heartedly to which I half heartedly agreed.

Oversell.

Especially when you are not hitting the right notes attraction-wise on the approach, oversell the date.

e.g.

HER: We could go for drinks sometime.

YOU: I could be down. What do you like -- what's your scene?

HER: Um, I don't know. Just beers is fine.

YOU: Have you ever been to a real English pub? There's a place called the Ox and Barrel that's 400 years old with legitimate Victorian-era pub furnishings. It's so, so cool.

HER: Oh wow, no I haven't been.

YOU: Here, give me your number. We'll plan a time to go there. When are you free?

I tried to push for the Insta date but she said she had to go shopping. I asked when else she was free and she said "only today" which I found unusual, I took it as a soft rejection so I didn't get my hopes up.

Ask for clarification:

YOU: When are you free?

HER: Only today.

YOU: What does that mean? Like we have to do something today because tomorrow you get beamed up in a space ship or sent off to sea or something?

HER: [laughs] No it means that [explains]

YOU: Okay, so it sounds like if we want to visit that vintage pub we are going to need to do it [propose logistics based on what she says]

Later on, I texted her that I was still in the city and had time to do something but it has been 3 1/2 hours and she hasn't responded, so I do believe it is a flake.

Here is the text I sent

"Hi Ms H, it was nice to meet youI have time to meet, later today. I would like to find out more about you!"

Is there anything I can do differently? I find it tricky to come across flirty but not creepy, enthusiastic but not needy and clear in my intentions but not too blunt.

Since you want to meet her later that day:

• Confirm with her IN-PERSON before you leave that that is the plan ("Since you're only available today, I guess we need to meet later today then, right? Cool, I'll text you")
  
  
• Then send a standard icebreaker 30 minutes later ("Great to make a new friend! -- average_daygamer").
  
  
• Then perhaps 2 hours later, unless she texts you first, send a follow-up: "Hey Ms H! Finish that shopping expedition yet? What time we getting drinks -- I'm going to grab some grub now just in case you're hungry")

But that is one of the reasons I shy away from approaching non English speaking chicks as I struggle to have a decent conversation even with English speaking ones.

Maybe the language barrier works to your advantage.

Native English-speaker: "He's not very good at conversation."

Non-native speaker: "This conversation is so wonky. It must be me and my bad English!"

Anyway, keep at it, man. You'll get better with time.

Chase