Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Hey GC board,

I’m posting here for the first time. Mostly because I am not quite where I want to be when it comes to women/seduction after leaving a 4 year LTR in April 2018. I remember having much better experiences of getting laid semi-consistently before this LTR, particularly around 2010-2011 and again 2013-2014 when I was actually living the single life. I love the articles on GC and would love to join this community and participate in some of the discussions.

Otherwise, my life is great: I started a new job that I love 2 months ago and I’m making six figures for the first time in my life. I fancy myself a world traveler (I’ve previously lived in Sweden and traveled much through Europe) and the job involves a lot of travel, right now in northeast USA, but hopefully internationally within a year or two. I am 31 years old, born in Puerto Rico, 5’7, 160 lbs, decent muscular build (always room for improvement).

In the 8 months I’ve been single since this relationship ended, I’ve only had sex TWICE (once with a horny MILF I took home directly from a salsa club, and the other in Mexico City with a woman I met online). However, I’ve taken FOUR other women home in those 8 months and each of those times was handed massive LMR that I wasn’t able to overcome. So, either I am very unlucky or I am doing something wrong. One of these women I am still working on: I believe she is evaluating me as a potential long term partner, and I’m not sure what the strategy should be with her since I'm not sure that is what I want right now (more on her later).

Here is what I believe I am doing right: Getting phone numbers and dates is easy. Most come through salsa/bachata dancing, since I’ve been dancing for ~10 years and thus can easily demonstrate value at these venues. Others come through meetup groups or online.

Once I get them out on the date though, I seem to be struggling with escalation, and recently had several dates with women rejecting my advances. In future posts my goal is to detail some of these interactions so I can get some feedback from people as to how to improve.

Another thing I STILL struggle with massively is day game. I was just at Whole Foods in the ethnic food aisle looking at some Indian cooking sauces, and suddenly I notice a cute woman standing about 1-2 meters away from me looking at some other items. I hear her mutter under hear breath “ugh, I hate cooking”. If this isn’t the clearest indication she wants to be approached, I don’t know what is – YET I BECAME PARALYZED and didn’t make the move. I need more accountability in these situations.

That is all for now. More to come. Thanks to everyone reading.

Científico
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Many things I could talk about but I will highlight one thing -

Today I had a very intriguing lunch ‘date’ with a woman I met from the ShapR app. This is essentially a professional Tinder, where you can network with both men and women by swiping right or left depending on if you want to meet them or not due to their professional/business background.

Not really an app I have for dating purposes (once I got a job interview through it), but occasionally you meet a woman on there for coffee or lunch that could spark into something more. This is precisely what happened today.
She escalated the entire process with me, from sending the first message, to giving me her phone number and suggesting the ‘date’. This despite us having completely non-overlapping professional backgrounds – I work for a research instrumentation company and she is a personal trainer. We meet at a cafe, I maintain strong eye contact with her and does ~70-80% of the talking about herself, with a wide range of topics.

I’m always wary of trying to escalate right away with women from a professional networking app rather than a dating app due to our paranoid dating society, the logistics were bad for escalation (café she picked was far from my apartment) and she mentioned having plans to meet up with another friend later, thus I decided to break it off after almost two hours of conversation and move on with the other stuff I had planned for the day. However, we parted with a hug + cheek kiss (something I borrow from Spanish culture in my social interactions with American females), and vague plans about going hiking at some indeterminate point in the future.

I will definitely be following up this one with a proper date in which I will lead and pick something with favorable logistics.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
This NYE time was heavy when it came to the dancing and a multi-day event took place, with day workshops and evening parties. Sunday night, I met a particular woman that for some reason I was instantly attracted to. I’m not sure what it was about her that made her stand out – just a lovely Persian beauty with a great smile. She had two friends with her the entire time, who I made sure to have positive interactions with while she was dancing with other dudes. We danced several times that night, and I got her phone number with minimal conversation and no hesitation on her part.

Yesterday, I ran into her again multiple times during the day workshops and during the evening new years party, as I knew I would. Every time she was warm and happy to see me.

The final time I ran into her and her friends it was after midnight. She was nursing her feet from all the dancing and complaining about blisters, with her shoes off, and saying she would probably leave soon. I grabbed a chair and sat down next to her, chit-chatted for a little bit about dancing, hobbies, and my story about why I recently moved into this city for my new job. Danced with her friends, came back and convinced her to dance with me on the carpet with her shoes off (showing concern for her feet).

The final time we parted, I did the cheek kiss and she responded with a loud MUAH and a grin on her face :). Here is where later I doubted myself, thinking maybe I should have tried to escalate further despite the presence of her friends and others.

Regardless, this one seems like she has a solid interest level and it will be put to the test now with me trying to get her out on a date. Work related travel means I will be unavailable almost the entire week of Jan 7th, thus I will accelerate my normal timeline with some text game and try to get her out Friday or Sat.

Besides her, I have three other numbers from this week I am interested in converting into dates – another dancer, the woman from the networking app, and another woman I recently number-closed online. At least one of these will bite and I will almost certainly have a date within the week.

Científico
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Today I decided, almost on a whim, after lunch to start texting this Persian princess from last night and see if I could schedule a date this week before my work travel schedule takes off.
She responded immediately. Below is the exchange:

Científico: Hey Persian Princess (PP),
Great dancing with you!! That was a successful end to 2018 don’t you think? How are your feet feeling today?

PP: Hiii. I agreeee. What an epic night. This entire weekend feels like a dream to me. I’m still in bed. Lol everything hurts. That means success. How about you?

Científico: A bit of a slow start today for sure :D.

At this point, I text her some pictures I found of us taking one of the workshops together, followed by the ‘look’ emoji with the two eyes.

PP: Niiice

PP: How did you get them?

Científico: There are some pictures floating around on FB

PP: Can you send the link?

Científico: *Send instructions for how to find the album*

PP: Omg thank you I’m looking at them
At this point I pause for a short while (1-2 hours), knowing that the above exchange was a good ‘icebreaker’ and the next time I open I have to ‘go in for the kill’ and ask for the date. I do so the following way:

Científico: Excellent!!

Científico: So, let’s get some food this week before my work travel schedule gets crazy Jan 7th. Do you eat?

PP: (responds immediately) Boy do I eat? I eat like a shark

Científico: *laugh/cry emoji* I will have to be careful then (took me a few minutes to come up with this response, since I recognized the opportunity to throw in some subtle sexual innuendo after she says she ‘eats like a shark)

Científico: What day is good for you before Sat Jan 5th?
*RADIO SILENCE, ALMOST 2.5 HOURS HAVE PASSED*

This ladies and gentlemen is why I hate asking out via text and typically do it via phone call. On the phone, they must respond immediately and it’s much harder for them to say no directly, whereas she has the freedom to delay responding or ignore a text message. It’s very difficult to get a sense of what happened via text. I suspect it may have been the response to her last text - she may not have been prepared for the subtle sexual innuendo, meaning I probably didn't do a good enough job escalating some kind of sexual tension during all my interactions with her the previous 48 hours. At this point if she decides not to respond at all, unclear how I can/should reengage. Probably by giving her a proper phone call and asking her out again in a week or so. Suggestions welcome.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Well of course my negativity about Persian Princess was a bit premature. The interaction continued and I went on a date with her. This is something I will convert into a field report to see if I can get some feedback on how it went.
She did respond about 4 hours later, 1.5 hours after I posted the previous entry. Her reply was the following:

PP: Hi sorry for the delay. I think I got sick and slept all day. Still not feeling ok.
PP: I’d love to have some food with you however…quick question…is this a date?
Científico: Haha. Good question. :)
Científico: It might be if you play your cards right
Científico: Also: we are going to a place with good vegan options
Note: I am vegan and I threw this in as extra info to change the subject a bit but also to ‘assume the sale’.

Then she responds with the following essay:

PP: Hahaha. I’m a fierce believer of communication so there’s little to no room for misunderstanding so no one feels disappointed or resentful. I’d love to go for food with you with no expectations. I’d like to know you and I’m sure we’ll end up running to each other wherever we go dancing. I’m a bit hesitant to go on dates with my dance partners just because if it doesn’t work out it makes something as enjoyable as dancing a bit awkward and has potential for getting dramatic. I dance to decompress and love the people I dance with like my dance family. If you are ok with this then let’s get some vegan food. I know a bunch of good one’s around
.

My response.

Científico: Oh deary me aren’t you good at making this complicated :)
Científico: I am incapable of resentment and completely drama-free, ESPECIALLY with other dancers, for precisely the reasons you outlined. ;)
Científico: I’ll be doing a happy hour for German speakers on Sat and would love to meet up with you after, if you are available. (Unless you also want to Deutsch sprechen!)
Científico: Can do tomorrow as well
PP: lol I don’t speak German
Científico: Never too late to start learning a new language ;)
PP: Haha, I’m still struggling with EngRish. Tomorrow works for me
PP: You like Ethiopian?
Científico: I sure do, and it’s been a while. Sounds like you have a place in mind?
PP: Ethiopian food is one of my faves. Yes there’s one on XYZ Street called ABC.
Científico: Looks great! Shall we say 7 pm?
PP: Works for me :) . See you tonight
At this point I was mildly pleased at navigating those shit tests, but knew I problably had my work cut out for me to get to any point with this one. It’s clear from the texts she is at least curious about me, enough to go on the date, but highly skeptical as well. I knew I would have be on TOP of my game to achieve anything here.

Honestly: I believe her concerns are totally valid. No woman wants to go on a date with a dude that will end up being weird, stalkerish, abusive, and then have to see them again in venues she frequents. I knew it was my job NOT to be that guy and to try to convey that in any way possible.

Tonight I go to the date. The restaurant she picked was upscale, and about a 25-30 min drive from my apartment. I decide to drive rather than take public transit to make things logistically easier just in case I’m able to change venues to her place or mine.

One thing I will also note is that I am recently thinking of changing my approach – up till now I had been focusing on simply trying to escalate physically with a kiss close at every date and it has gotten me nowhere with most women (some exceptions as always). Instead of going for the kiss, I decided that starting with this date and others going forward I would instead propose a venue change to her place or mine and then once this occurs escalate physically at a time of my choosing. This was the first date I attempted this.

I walk in and she is already there waiting for me. Conversation flows naturally. Even though I have gone on a lot of dates, I am in my 30’s and have already hooked up with a fair amount of women, I still get a bit nervous when I am having dinner with a woman I am highly attracted to and sometimes that leads to mental distraction. Some jokes she made I didn’t laugh at, not because they weren’t funny, but rather because I was mentally distracted and not present in the moment.

Crucial moments in the convo were: me probing for logistics (where she lives, roomates, etc, and also that she took uber to the restaurant and would need a ride back), and also finding out she is an occasional cannabis user (I am too, infrequently). Turns out she lives on the way back home so I took that mentally as an option to try to invite myself back to her pace.
At the end of the dinner and when I knew we were more or less finished, I said the following:

Científico: Want to get out of here?
PP: Sure
Científico: I know of a place where the drinks are cheap, the music is great, and there is cannabis.
PP: REALLY? Where is that? Are we in Amsterdam now or something? (big grin on her face)
Now, here is where I problably screw up. Instead of simply leading and saying “you’ll find out”, I answer matter of fact, and it leads to SOMETHING like this exchange (can’t remember exact dialogue):

Científico: My apartment
PP: Oh no we can’t do that.
Científico: (smiling) why not? I have my car right here. I’ll drive.
PP: I’m not going all the way back to (Científico’s town)
PP: Why don’t we go to xyz bar instead down the street?
Científico: Okay
We walk out of the restaurant after paying, to put my leftovers in the car. By the time we get to my car she is freezing from the cold, it’s easy to convince her to just get in, and let me drive (isn’t it amazing how environment changes people’s minds so easily?)

Initially she agrees to go back to her place, and gives me an address close to her (NOT EXACTLY the one she lives, because she “doesn’t know me”). However, as we are arriving I do a TERRIBLE parallel park job (fuck, this never happens except this time it did lol) and I’m mentally distracted again, conversation dies off a bit, and she changes her mind and leads me to a bar RIGHT next to where she lives.

Oh well. I follow her in, and we get a round, and I pay. At this bar, something on the wall ends up leading our conversation deep into unsexy topics like geopolitics, in which I give my honest opinion on a number of issues. At this point, I knew chances of sex were slim, didn’t care and allowed her to see that side of me. Then it switched back to dancing (with me transitioning: I would rather be dancing with cute bachateras like you than worrying about this stuff), and she gets up close and shows me some videos on her phone. At one point I attempt to tease her:

Científico: Well, we could be back at your place practicing this, but we can’t practice at this bar
PP: Hey stop pushing me about my choice
Científico: I’m not pushing. Just stating a fact (smiling)
Científico: Maybe next time if you’re lucky (then I lean in and kiss her on the cheek)
PP: Fine be that way (slight smile).
I don’t get another round, we agree to call it a night, I go to the bathroom (she waits), then I walk her the final 10 meters to her apartment.

Científico: I had a great time, let’s do this again
PP: Let’s, maybe we can go dancing next time
Científico: *lingers a bit close to her face*
PP: I don’t kiss on the first date and we are NOT dating
Científico: That was a fancy place for something that wasn’t a date
PP: It was VEGAN!
Científico: *Kisses her on the cheek again* See you next time.
And that’s a wrap. I drive home contemplating what happened. I believe I did a lot of things right but some things wrong. I believe just need to get better at handling objections and staying focused, and not letting temporary setbacks distract me. This one may be a lost cause at this point since I failed to close to deal, and with so many other women out there I will problably put this one on the back burner and invite her out to whatever venues I frequent, just to be friendly with her. I will always be warm toward her for sure, since I am determined not to provide any justification to her concerns about 'going on dates with other dancers'.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Well when it rains it pours I guess. After the unsatisfying experience with PP yesterday, both of the dates I had lined up for this weekend fell through.

1.) Tonight I was supposed meet up with the Argentinian dancer (mentioned in the first post) that I have been seeing for several dates but haven’t had sex with yet due to LMR last time she was here, that I wasn’t properly prepared to handle. She had been displaying interest to meet up again and we had a chat on the phone the other day, when she agreed to go into the city tonight with me.

This afternoon at about 1:40 pm I send a text telling her to park around my apartment building so I can teach her how to use the metro (she had joked before that she doesn’t know how to use the metro).

Well, as I write this post at 8:15 pm there is no response and she hasn’t even viewed the text, according to my phone. This kind of flaky behavior from her isn’t completely abnormal – one time I even made alternative plans on her when we were supposed to hang out and late into the evening she hadn’t figured out her plans. She’s crossed the line now, and I’ll problably gently call her out, tell her I like having people in my life that respect my time rather than take it for granted, and close the door on this one. Plenty of other women that won’t behave this way.

2.) Tomorrow I was supposed to meet up with the hot personal trainer (HPT) that connected with me on the professional networking app and I met in person for coffee once before (mentioned in a previous entry). Around ten Wednesday night (01/03), I decide to give her a call. She answers.

Científico: Hey is this HPT?
HPT: Yes this is she.
Científico: Did I catch you at a good time?
HPT: Well Im about to go get groceries but its okay.
HPT: What is your availability to catch up tomorrow?
At this point Im taken back a bit by how fast she decided she wanted to try to schedule something – she didn’t even give me a chance to ask her how her new year festivities went - but it goes back to her personality as a rare female go-getter that I originally saw from her first interactions with me on the app (sending first message, giving me phone number without me asking, setting up the meet herself).

Científico: Actually Im a bit busy tomorrow. In fact the only day I have free until later next weekend is Saturday *laughs*. Are you available to go on a short hike with me that day? Nothing serious.
HPT: I think so, but it has to be later in the afternoon since I have a meeting at 1 pm. Maybe 3 pm but that doesn’t give us enough time?
Científico: We’ll see, I will touch base with you that day and see what is going on with you and the weather.
At this point conversation turns into small talk about what she did in NYE for a few minutes, and I let her go after that. Conversation lasted less than five minutes.

But see my mistake? ‘Touching base’ is NOT locking in a date, merely suggesting one.

Today I check the weather – very unfavorable tomorrow for any outdoor activity. Thus I decide to text her:

Científico: Hey HPT, weather is not looking at all favorable for any outdoor activity tomorrow. Makes me miss California.
Científico: Let’s go get some vegan food instead? Let me know. Happy Friday.
HPT: Hey Científico, I actually had something pop up and won’t be able to meet up tomorrow.
And that’s it. No follow up, counteroffer, or humor, or anything. Learned my lesson here to always close to deal and actually lock something in instead of leaving it open-ended. Dumb mistake! I actually immediately recognized it right after the conversation ended on Wednesday, and yet I thought she might leave the time slot open for me anyway. I thought wrong.

Eventually I reply

Científico: Another day. Enjoy your weekend ahead.
Maybe will follow up and try again in 2-3 weeks time or so, if I feel like it. Can't help but feel I blew this one though - what kind of woman wants to hook up with a dude that can't properly ask her out the first time? Now, it will be a weekend consisting of my standard activities (dancing, happy hours) that allows me to meet more females. Have some online dating leads I could pursue also, and thankfully, in two weeks time I will meet up in Canada with my Mexican girlfriend I met several months ago that is guaranteed to lead to hot steamy sex (thank goodness).
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Today I made some progress with day game, finally. Its actually not that hard once you convince yourself about how silly approach anxiety is. I’ve been in much more nerve-racking situations in my life and career that far surpass simply talking to a girl!

The first opportunity came today at a metro stop, while waiting for my next train on the way to the airport. This girl was very cute, and the situation was perfect for the approach (not many others around), and yet I froze and lost the opportunity. Realizing that this cannot continue, I resolved to seize the next chance.

It didn’t take long to present itself. During the security line at the airport, a cute Asian girl passed the line behind me, and she unloaded approx 10 packets of those asian seaweed snacks onto one of the trays to pass through the x-rays. These were a favorite of my ex-girlfriend, who was of Thai origin. I opened:

Científico: Wow, those are a lot of seaweed snacks!
Her: Yeah I know my mother bought them for me even though I didn’t want them!
Científico: Where do you get those? They are delicious!
Her: There is xyz store in abc town
Científico: Great, I remember that place!
Científico: So, where are you off to today
Her: Boston
Científico: Hey, I’m going to Boston too!
Her: What are you doing there? Do you go there a lot?
At this point I am pleased at how the interaction is going. She is invested in the conversation, as it shows with her starting to ask me questions about my plans. However she is now through the line and I am still waiting for my bag to be inspected by TSA. Thus I ask her which gate her flight is leaving from and tell her I’ll catch up to her later. Once I’m through security I find her at her gate, sit down right next to her, and make some more small talk. She would not give out her number saying she was dating someone pretty seriously, but overall I was pleased with myself.

Women are everywhere and you can meet them anywhere, all it takes is having the balls to simply make the approach.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
This is a field report I never expected to be writing, but it just goes to show you that always one must expect the unexpected and be ready for anything. Sometimes the perfect opportunity simply presents itself like it did for me yesterday.

I found myself with a free day yesterday at one of my work trips in a new city, since my customer visit fell through. I ended up walking around downtown, getting lunch by myself at a café and looking around at the people around me – thinking to myself “this is a perfect day to practice some cold approaching”.

In the café as I am finishing my lunch, I see a very nice looking lady with bright red lipstick reading a book by herself that I wanted to meet. This is an approach I do not make for whatever reason – paralysis set in and I exited the café, thinking later to myself “you miss 100% of the shots you do not take”.

I go into the public library to find a place to sit and answer some work emails. Seating is sparse, but then I spot a stunning latina writing something, sitting by herself at a table with one extra chair and I immediately seize this opportunity. She has ear buds in both ears, but I go right up to the table and ask if I can sit. She takes off her earbuds and says “sure”.

I sit myself down and take a few minutes to answer 1-2 emails. But then I look over at this woman and notice she hasn’t put back in one of her earbuds, meaning for some reason she wants to be more aware of her surroundings ;).
I open and ask how her day is going. She responds with a smile “great, and yours?”. Immediately I can tell Spanish is her primary language, so I switch to Spanish (I’m from Puerto Rico, thus fluent – all dialogue is translated from original Spanish), and ask her what she is doing in the city we were in. She is on vacation from Colombia. Some more small talk occurs, back and forth, until I propose we get a coffee at a local shop. She immediately accepts and we walk out together.

At this new café seating is also sparse, thus after getting our lattes we grab some seats together close and nearly facing each other (no table). Conversation happens about a variety of topics, from her life in Colombia, her travel plans, veganism, and dancing. During the conversation she is leaning very far towards me, playing with her hair, almost has a dreamy look in her eyes and face --- this woman is CLEARLY interested and sending me the most obvious signs, and she is beautiful as she is doing it.

At this point I could hardly believe what was happening. How is it that I ended up with this opportunity, interacting with this beautiful creature I just met 30 minutes ago at a library? I decide to try to escalate. As we are talking about dancing, I propose a dance lesson in my hotel room (lol). She looks at me slyly and says:

Hot Colombian (HC): we know what is going to happen if we go back to your hotel room.
Científico: Oh really, whats that? I’m just going to give a dance lesson (grin).
HC: yeah right
Then I go in and kiss her. She wasn’t expecting it and hardly kisses back. But afterwards her body language does not change – she is still playing with her hair and leaning into me, making eye contact with that dreamy look in her eyes.
Conversation continues about other topics. I talk about the fact that I taught myself German and teach her a few phrases, including “it’s great to meet you”. She responds to this in the most sensual way “the pleasure is all mine”. I touch her face with my hand in response, but don’t kiss this time. After a pause she proposes going for a walk and I accept.

We walk out of the café, hand in hand. We end up in a public park after walking with no particular aim, still talking about various subjects. The park is nearly empty due to the cold weather, and I tell her it’s a perfect spot for her dance lesson. As we start, she hardly gives me any space as she stands before me, again with that dreamy look.

I go in for the kiss again, but this time pause about an inch from her face. She closes the rest of the distance and kisses me, passionately.

This insta-date goes on for about 4 hours, with lots of touching, kisses, sensual and romantic play. We walk around the park some more, go to the mall, and then a bar for a round of drinks. There were moments that the conversation simply died off, and I just looked into the eyes of the gorgeous vixen in front of me, caressing her legs, hands, arms, face, back – often with more kissing.

I attempted to close back to my hotel room 2 more times but each time she refused, saying she had a dinner appointment at 5 pm with “un amigo” (i.e., a male friend).

I also have a dinner commitment with someone (my cousin), thus I propose we meet up afterwards. Here is where it gets interesting. She states that its possible but she cant make me any promises. She wont exactly specify why, which is interesting, and I essentially played it cool and tried not to be too probing. There was also an urgency aspect I tried to play, since after yesterday our schedules no longer align and its unlikely I would see her again for a very long time. This was made clear to her. I told her I was confident I would see her that night since we enjoyed each other so much, and she responded “we’ll see”.

When the time finally came for us to part, she plants another hard, passionate kiss, then walks down the stairs to the metro and doesn’t look back.

I go to the gym and lift some weights at my hotel, meet up with my cousin, and around 8 pm text her:

NOTE: All texts in original Spanish, my English translation in parenthesis:

Científico: Hola, Pienso terminar con mi primo ~9, cual es tu estatus? (Hey Im thinking about finishing up with my cousin around 9, what’s your status?)
1.5 hours later…

HC: Todo va de maravilla (Everything is going marvelously.)
At this point, my cousin, who is actually decent with women (despite being a short dude of 5’3, actually has his own girlfriends scattered throughout Latin America), advises me to leave her alone since she is problably fucking another dude. He told me: best leave this one for your next trip to Colombia, and I bet she will text you tomorrow. I tended to agree with him, but just in case decide to give her a phone call 20 minutes after that text. No answer. Thus, I follow my cousins advice and leave her alone.

This morning, 8:30 am, I get a text, and we have the following exchange over a few hours:

HC: Buenos días (good morning)
Científico: Hola HC (hello HC)
Científico: Como estás tú esta mañana? (How are you this morning?)
HC: Muy bien ¿y tú? (very good and you?)
Científico: En camino a instalar un microscopio (on the way to install a microscope)
Científico: Vas a hacer algo divertido hoy? (are you doing something fun today?)
HC: Sí, creo que estaré ocupada toda la tarde, ¿tú? (Yes, I believe I will be occupied all afternoon. You?)
Científico: Que Bueno :) (very good :))
Científico: Como te dije ayer, esta instalación (y capacitación) durará todo el día (Like I told you yesterday, this install (and training) will take all day)
Científico: Mi vuelo sale a las 7 esta noche (My flight leaves at 7 tonight)
Científico: Diviértete hoy por mi (Have fun today for me)
HC: Será un placer (It will be a pleasure)
After this exchange, I go do my job, go to the airport afterwards, and don’t text her again. As Im sitting on the plane, 10 minutes before it takes off, I get this text:

HC: Buen vuelo :-* (Have a good flight :-*)
My response:

Científico: ;-) :-*
Conclusion? The game is still on, but who knows when and where I will see this one again. I don’t have time to travel to Colombia anytime soon and she goes back in two weeks. The next time I am in the city she is currently in, will be after she leaves. She KNEW this – and yet she chose to do something else last night, which is the interesting part.

This one was wild. Even though I didn’t get laid, I still consider this one a massive success. I’ve never had such a romantic interaction with such an incredible woman I randomly met at a public place like a library. A real confidence booster for sure, and proof that anything is possible.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
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128
Feeling emboldened after what happened with the hot colombian girl at the public library, today I did a cold approach I probably normally would not have done. It is as if I have a new energy to make these approaches now.

I was grabbing some food at my local neighborhood at one of these healthy yet fast-food places, and as I'm finishing up I see a woman of asian-complexion. I think "I'd like to meet this one". She is sitting by herself having a snack of pita bread and hummus. I go leave my tray and plate at the designated receptable, and turn towards her - she sees me and we make eye contact, and she looks away first. I knew at this moment it was now or never.

My feet start walking towards her even before my mind had made itself up to approach. It's as if an invisible person had started pushing me towards the objective. Before I knew it I was opening:

Científico: hey how are you doing today?
Her: Great, and you? (smiling - strong eye contact)
Científico: Well, we are expecting some wintry weather today and I'm still trying to figure out where I will go this evening. Yourself?
NOT the best reply - goes to show you you have to have this shit planned out in your mind, at least a little bit. That was too honest.

Her: Oh no! Well, Im going shopping today
Científico: Anything you are looking for in particular?
Her: Not really, I'll find something.
Científico: So you go shopping without an actual objective in mind?? (puzzled look)
Her: Yeah pretty much
Científico: Haha, well, how about instead of spending money, you come have a coffee with me instead?
Her: I kinda had this planned....
Científico: Ah well, how about you just give me your number and I will catch up with you later?
Her: I think I'm all set (still smiling)
Científico: No problem, enjoy your Saturday
A good start. Doing a few of those a day when opportunities come up, I am bound to get better, and find another girl like the Colombian at the library.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Had a few leads from online websites disintegrate yesterday, probably because I tried to set up dates far in advance anticipating my busy travel schedule.
Note to self – when dealing with Tinder girls, one always has to move fast, thus don’t even bother reaching out if I’m not in their city for the week.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Below is a FR from a date I set up with a cute woman of afghan origin I have known for a while. Happened about 5-6 days ago but haven't had time to post it until now. This is one where I progressed somewhat and successfully invited myself back to her place despite her objections, but ran into a massive wall of LMR once at her place that I decided not to try to climb or break through. Some analysis on how I could have improved this interaction would be appreciated.

Story begins like this - once this woman found out months ago that I had a new job back on the east coast and I posted it on social media, she contacted me asking to get drinks once I’m in the area. This was back in October at some point – I know her from years back when I used to live in this general geographic part of the US.

I’m not exactly in her city and logistics suck (40 – 60 min drive from my place, depending on traffic), plus I have been super busy, thus now in January is when I actually get to her.

The other interesting thing is that at some point several years ago, probably in 2013, I actually did attempt to close back to my place with her from a dancing venue. I vaguely remember her smiling and looking flattered but refusing. Time for another shot, 5-6 years later ;).

On Sunday 1/13 I text her to set up the meet:

Científico: Hey Cute Afghan (CA), hope you are enjoying your Sunday. Did you do anything fun?
CA: Hi Científico, I’m doing well and enjoyed the day with a little run in the afternoon. How are you?
Científico: Great – I’m impressed you didn’t let the cold deter you from your run.
CA: Aww thanks, it wasn’t that cold though.
Científico: Great – hope you had fun 
Científico: Wanted to let you know that I have something in your town at the university on the 16th – want to do that after work drink that day? It’s a long time coming ;)
CA: Sure let’s meet up! I’m not far from there
Científico: *okay hand emoji*
CA: Let me know what time and where you would like to meet. If you are coming to the university I have some suggestions in the area
Científico: How about somewhere in xyz neighborhood? It has been years since the last time
CA: xyz neighborhood is great!
Científico: Agreed, lots of spots from my old grad school days we could check out.
Científico: I will get back to you re: time. Problably will be free mid afternoon/early evening. Don’t think this customer needs us the entire day.
CA: Okay sounds good looking forward to it :)
From that exchange I can tell the girl is interested. But, the logistics suck, as I mentioned, thus the strategy was to invite myself to HER place instead after about 1.5-2 hours of hanging out with her. The neighborhood I picked is in the general vicinity of the university, very walkable with lots of bars and restaurants.

Going into the date that day after work, I was very tired from a full day of work and sub-par sleep last night, and also conscious of the fact that I had an early apt the next morning. Nonetheless excited to meet this woman. Right before she meets, she says:

CA: Be there in 10-15 minutes
CA: I cant eat or drink anything. I need to rest my stomach all drinking last night. But I’m delighted to see you.
Perfect.

I sit down at the bar, get a beer, and wait. She shows up exactly when she says she will, looking cute with her glasses and decorative earrings. I take her hand right away, and do the European cheek-kiss as I usually do with females I am interested in now.

Most of the conversation at this first bar involves me getting to talk about herself (‘deep diving’), asking her plans, aspirations, etc.

After one round of drinks, we go outside for a walk – and here, I implement Seppuku’s ‘hand-holding’ technique for the first time ever to lead her to a certain place I thought was appropriate for a selfie, as a compliance-test. Her hand fits well in mine and she walks with me, possibly with some intrigue on her face at the fact that I took the hand so early.

I take the selfie, then I tell her I’m hungry and suggest a place to eat. She says sure (even though she earlier she didn’t want to eat, lol), and follows me to a nearby place for dinner. Waitress there wants to seat us at a table facing each other, and I was about to object and tell her that I would prefer to sit at the bar (to be side-by-side with her) – but then CA does this herself! Pleased at this, we order food, and continue conversation about various topics.

Here is where I probe for her logistics, and get the information that she lives by herself, no roommates or pets. Perfect.

I then find a good transition point to suggest going to her apartment (regarding music):

Científico: Well, I think you have been missing out on some of this new music that is coming out. Since you said you were having fun, why don’t we go back to yours, I can show you some of the new songs I’ve seen and you can make some tea? I want to beat the traffic back to my town and sober up before I start driving all the way back.
What follows are at least 3-4 different objections from her end, with my persistence/objection handling dismissing them:

CA: Well, I’m dating someone, and I don’t bring guys to my place.
Científico: Why is this relevant? Is there something on your mind? Let’s just listen to music and hang out. (trying to disqualify myself as BF here)
CA: Did you forget I’m from Afghanistan? We are very conservative
Científico: I don’t see you wearing a Burka nor are you part of the Taliban
CA: How about another time?
Científico: That might not be for a while, I travel a lot for work. Why not take advantage of the time we have now?
That last one seems to do it. Eventually with enough persisting she actually buys fully into the frame I am trying to set of going back to hers – saying “okay, it’s a good idea, I’ll make you tea” then making sure I have her address on my GPS before going back to her car. I follow her back, she directs me where to park, and takes me up to her place.

Once there, is where the problems start. I put on music and start to dance with her and attempt to pull her close, yet she pulls away in an attempt to keep her distance. Any attempt I make at getting even remotely physically close is met with significant resistance. I eventually do try to go in for a kiss, yet she turns her head, looks distressed and keeps repeating the same 3-4 excuses from above. Sometimes a good song would come up and I would try to pull her up from her sofa to dance, she would say she didn’t want to, I would persist and lead her, she would still say she didn’t, before giving in and dancing (and still keeping her distance - again, persistence works, but only to a degree with this woman).

Some interesting exchanges occur, in which for example she asks me about my ex girlfriend, and I tell her “That’s not important, you don’t have to compare yourself to my ex’s”, and she laughs and says “you’re funny”.

However, her wall of resistance is strong, and I am struggling about what to do. Continuing to persist with the intention of staying the night was not really an option given my early appointment in the morning and some materials I had to collect at home, a 50 minute drive away – honestly, poor planning on my part since I should have thought about the possibility of staying the night if I was actually going to succeed at inviting myself back to her place.

Eventually I decide to excuse myself, tell her I have to go to prepare for my appointment tomorrow (the truth), and prepare myself to leave. I honestly think I caught a hint of disappointment in her voice after I told her I was leaving – giving me the impression that her LMR was breakable had I stayed and warmed her up for at least a few hours.

I'm not particularly crazy about getting a second date with this particular woman - I prefer to start fresh with someone new, and my interest in her is lukewarm. However, this was a good learning experience at successfully inviting myself back to woman’s home and starting to deal with LMR in this situation. Lessons to apply the next time this occurs. Comments welcome...
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
I just returned from a trip to Canada with my lady-friend that I met in Mexico City back in October (mentioned in the first post in this journal). As expected, two solid days (and three nights) of fun exploring a new location with lots of great sex multiple times per day. Honestly was exactly the rest and relaxation I needed. Couple of other things to mention.

i.) Before the flight to Canada at the airport a nice looking woman journalist happened to take a seat next to me at the waiting area. Before even thinking about it I opened her and chatted with her quite a bit – she was friendly and open to the conversation, though resisted me taking her contact info and I didn’t push it too much due to the poor logistics of actually dating her (she lived in Canada). Looking back, I problably could have pushed this a little bit as I got a sense she would have been receptive (gave me a killer smile everytime I talked to her), and left the possibility open for a visit in the future. Just didn’t seem like high priority at the time.

ii.) The hot Colombian I met at the library the other week has been communicating with me via whatsapp nearly everyday. We almost coincided as her flight back to Colombia and my flight back to the city she is currently in almost overlapped due to travel delays – we could have seen each other again at the airport had the stars aligned. But alas, it was not to be, and she is currently on her way back to South America. This is another woman I would love to follow up with at some indeterminate time in the future to see during my travels. Like the woman from Mexico City, it would be great to have this one as another international girlfriend in Latin America.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Today I am once again travelling in a new city for work, and upon checking into my hotel had a great interaction with a gorgeous receptionist. She was friendly, asked me about my job, and we exchanged some personal details about each other (she told me she is studying nutrition, for example). After I went up to the room, worked out, and went back down for a snack, she beamed at me with her gorgeous smile and gave me the food for free.

However, I simply could not pull the trigger to get contact information. It was too awkward with her manager 3 meters away both times, a colleague next to her, and other guests in line behind me. I simply couldn't bear the awkwardness of asking to exchange contact info under such unfavorable circumstances likely to make her super uncomfortable. Does an experienced seducer do it anyway?

As I was turning away after she gave me the free snacks and she tended to the next hotel guest - it hit me: why not just slip her a business card? They have my cell on them, and this business card is the best looking one I've ever had after I got this job. Not the best solution of course since it puts the onus on the woman to initiate the first contact - but better than nothing, and if she actually does initiate, I know she is REALLY interested. I will carry a few in my normal wallet from now on for these situations, and I have until Saturday at this hotel to at least pull this maneuver if I cant get her cell number the normal way.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
I am still struggling quite a lot with approach anxiety when it comes to cold approach, ESPECIALLY when it’s on the street. I am embarrassed to admit I still have NOT done a single street approach. It seems to be easier in cafes, bookstores, libraries, etc – there I can have a seat next to the girl as if I have another purpose to be there (and often I do). Approaches in bars and nightclubs are a piece of cake and I walk away with numbers easily. Then, why is it so difficult to approach a woman on the street?

I even let golden opportunities get away from me sometimes. A few days ago, I made eye contact with a woman walking on the sidewalk in the opposite direction. Her eyes blinked fast and she smiled. DID NOT APPROACH and walked right past her. Then, two days ago, I was walking home at 1 am, cold and needed to take a piss, and a cute woman makes eye contact, comes right up to me and asks me for directions. I could have helped her in some way, tried to develop a relationship or charm her, and instead all I can muster is “sorry, I have no idea”.

I’m only writing this down to document how shameful it is to let these chances pass me by. Tomorrow the forecast calls for clear skies – this is the day I do my first cold approach on the street with a woman I like – no more excuses.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
As I promised myself, today I made my first cold approach on the street. I'm writing it down here for documentation purposes.

I actually did have an errand to run (needed to buy a new carry-on bag for my travels), thus I went out to the local mall close to where I live (within walking distance), in my current 'home-base' town. The other purpose of this trip of course, to do at least one cold approach on the street, either on the way there or on the way back.

Weather was not as sunny as I hoped. I go outside and start walking, and believe it or not, I make it to the mall without seeing a single a female I was excited enough about to approach. It was very strange! Almost as if the universe conspires against me when I am finally ready and dead-set on approaching, I see no one to approach. I make it into the store, get my new carry-on, and walk out of the mall without this situation changing. I am back on the street on a busy street corner with lots of shops around me - I figure if I wait long enough someone I want to approach will eventually make an appearance.

Eventually, she did. It was an older latina woman, problably in her 40's, looking hot in a bright red coat. I see her on the other side of the street, and make up my mind to approach within 10 seconds, but she walks into a clothing store. Unsure if I should follow her in, I linger outside for a few minutes, thinking if I should just move on. Problably would not have lasted outside for more time than this - and yet, she exits the store very quickly and I see her again, and begins to cross. This is my chance.

Científico: Hey there. How are you today?
Woman: Hello! I'm great and yourself?
Científico: Oh, was just running an errand, but I saw you looked great in that red jacket and had to come talk to you. I'm Científico.
It was that easy. That second sentence came out with a slight stutter, since I was nervous, but I'm hoping this sillyness improves overtime. The initial part of the conversation had me alternating between English and Spanish - since I knew from her face she was latina. She seemed more comfortable with English. First we talked a little about her history - she is originally from El Salvador but has lived in the USA for decades. We then talked about where I bought the carry-on - she remarked that that store has great deals. Then I asked her why she was out and about today. Interestingly enough, she told me she was about to meet a gentleman from Match.com, and that it was probably the guy on the other side of the street carrying a bouquet of flowers! I looked over and sure enough, there was an older man with white hair and a bald patch holding a bouquet of white flowers, looking around. I decide to try to close before she walks over to him.

Científico: Well, why don't we exchange cells and meet up later
Woman: Yeah, you seem like a fun guy. Give me a piece of paper with your number on it.
Científico: Well, I don't have any pen or paper. Let's just trade cells the normal way
Woman: Well I don't want him to see me doing that. We'll just leave it at this then.
She starts to walk away and I let her. It's possible I could have handled that a little differently and walked away with a phone number, either by pressing a bit more on the phone number, or actually remembering to have a business card in my wallet (I had put them in after the hotel receptionist exchange, but of course ended up handing all of them out and forgetting to put more in).

But, success. First street approach made. And it felt good afterwards. Cheers to many more in the future.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Recently I finished reading both of Tony D's books about day game. I find them to give me a very empowering mindset I didn't have before - the ability to approach a woman you like when you see her during the day is powerful and opens a lot of doors. Despite a lot of heavy flaking from women lately I feel very positive.

Yesterday I did two more cold approaches - one was at a metro stop in which I ended up talking to the girl for 30 minutes, closed with her number before she exited the train at her stop. It was flawless. And she replied to my initial icebreaker text with "it was a pleasure to meet you". But then, no response to the follow up text I sent this morning. It's amazing how often women flake on you.

I have several leads from my home city that have all flaked with my text game, so problably Wednesday I will give them all proper phone calls, and the ones that answer will get a date during the weekend when I am back in town. I think I grow tired of text game that goes nowhere when my voice over the phone is much better, and most guys don't call so the guy that does stands out. I need to transition back to what has worked in the past for me - which is setting up dates over the phone instead of via text.

I talked to both my lady friends in latin america over the phone today - the colombian I met at the library continues her romantic banter over whatsapp, as well as my lady friend from Mexico City that I saw last week. It's a perfect situation that I hope to continue, and since I love travel, will continue to add to my roster of international lovers (and ideally, in different US cities as well).
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
128
My work-travel has taken me to many locales around DC, Philadelphia, and Boston. Tonight I am finishing up a three day, three night stint in one of these cities. My strategy when I am in each location has been to go out and meet women, either with the goal of an insta-date and same-night lay (ideal), or getting phone numbers for follow ups for the next time I visit the location so I have some women I can contact for dates.

It has been damn cold here during the time I have been here (well below freezing, windy, some precipitation), thus I have pysched myself out from cold approaching for the most part. There have been a few opportunities I have recognized but haven't taken (for example, a girl on the metro today made eye contact with me and raised her eyebrows - I said "how is it going" as I was walking past and made weak eye contact - she did not engage because of my timidness). It really does take a LOT of re-programming to be able to cold approach consistently and with full intention. This is something I really need to work on.

First night I arrived around 6 pm, checked into my hotel, then took off to find food. Did one approach inside of a casual eatery with a woman sitting by herself eating her dinner. She was just barely over my attractiveness threshold for a woman I would consider hooking up with, but I figured she would be good practice. She was friendly and we had a good conversation, best part was when I teased her slightly about her very mild southern accent. Also here on business thus seemed like a perfect opportunity for a casual hook up, if she was interested. When I attempted to close for her contact information however she flatly denied me with a straight up, immediate "no thanks". I didn't persist.

The next day I worked with a customer for half the day then had most of the afternoon off. Went to the hotel gym, and the cold windy weather kept me from approaching outside as stated above. However, I had a good night planned out involving three events right after the other: a meetup for spanish speakers, meeting a woman for dinner that I only had partial interest in seducing, then dancing and meeting more women.

The spanish meetup was fantastic - I arrived and there were something like 8 women and 2 men - and the 2 men were not confident in their spanish at all and very timid. Thus I had zero male competition as I conversed with all these ladies. I could only stay about an hour to go to my next appointment (dinner with my female friend), but left the place with three numbers - one from the organizer which is useful simply for networking purposes (but no interest in seducing), and two from women I actually would like to take out on dates. The dinner appointment with my female friend (who I met last time I was here at a dance venue) was fun, and I believe she may have been interested, but I think she lost interest in me as she realized I wasn't going to escalate. Then, later on the evening I obtained two more numbers from two other women I met at the dancing venue. Thus grand total of four numbers from women I would like to seduce, not bad for one evening, although at no time during the evening did I invite a woman home for a same-night lay due to what I perceived as poor chances of success due to the social pressure the women would face (being around friends). There was one woman I likely could have tried it with, with some reasonable non-zero chance since she was out by herself, but opted for the number instead. I should probably get more accustomed to taking the chance in these situations instead and simply asking if she wants to come home.

This morning I sent icebreaker texts to all four and all four have responded! Not too bad. My strategy was to try to get one out on a date today (due to the fact that I am leaving tomorrow and wont come back for several weeks) but it appears uncertain that will happen with any of them. I'll have to save them for follow ups for the next time I am here, and focus on obtaining even more numbers and contacts tonight.

Things I am currently struggling with:
1.) Really getting in the right mindset to consistently cold approach. I know I can do it since I have had successful number closes, and one insta date, from cold approach recently. But, I still psyche myself out quite often too.
2.) I should probably get more into the habit of inviting women I meet home or back to my hotel more consistently rather than going for the number, when the situation calls for it. I need to be able to identify these situations better and make more attempts - if I don't attempt it, I will never get it!
3.) Significantly cut back on the masturbation by about 50-75% and increase my amount of exercise by 30-40%, as it help motivate me with 1-2.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Interesting few days.

Thursday 1/31 - was out at a dancing venue and met this really gorgeous half bolivian/half puerto rican woman who was extremely receptive to my advances. There were plenty of targets at this venue, and the old Científico would have been just fine collecting numbers in the hopes of getting some of them out on dates later. But not this time. This time I decided to pull this woman I met to another location for an insta-date. And lo and behold, she accepted! (as an aside, I couldn't help but notice another woman I danced with seeing me put my coat on and giving me a "why the fuck are you leaving so early?" look. I ignored it).

Unfortunately for me, I screwed it up in various ways. First, she may have been receptive to going straight to my hotel room if I had done it right off the bat CORRECTLY, perhaps by building a little bit more rapport and establishing a sexual mood at the same place then attempting to pull, but instead I accepted her suggestion of going to a different bar after my "want to get out of here?" proposal. Then the problems mount after this. We couldn't decide if we wanted to use her car or my car, and had trouble locating her car, then I timidly accepted her proposal for ME to drive HER car (establishing her as the one in charge). My car was just slightly further away but we should have gone for this anyway just to continue to hold my frame as a dominant, no-nonsense guy.

We get to the other venue and I attempt a manhandle kiss inside her car. She complaints a little bit about not kissing her friends, and doesn't kiss back very much, but she also doesn't resist that much. We dance at the other venue exclusively with each other. But then another fuck-up ---- I left my tab open at the other bar! I tell her this and she laughs, and we have to go back to the previous bar to close my tab and get my card. At this point the mood is decidedly unsexy, and on the ride back she even tries to get me talk to about religion (she goes to church and is very Christian, it seems). I drive her car back to my hotel, despite having some alcohol in my system, and try to pull her into my room a few times. She refuses consistently. Thus I call it a night.

Friday 2/01 - Back in my home city, I'm in my apartment and consume edible cannabis, then I am feeling good and convince myself I want to go out anyway despite being high. Big mistake - cannabis just makes me way too awkward socially. The venue was FULL of women and I simply couldn't close or do anything properly. I have a love/hate relationship with this drug, but when it comes to women/seduction it is deadly. I need to take a break from this stuff. Got rid of the last little bit of edible cannabis I have so it does not tempt me. The next time I return to this drug it will be from a position of abundance, when I have hoards of eager women in my apartment ready to be screwed, NOT before.

Saturday 2/02 -
During the day, I had a date with an awkward yet semi-cute woman I met online. This is an opportunity to practice leading back home even though I wasn't completely into her (quality of women I meet online is sub-par compared to meeting them in the field!!). We meet at a coffee shop, I lead to the mall (holding her hand), then to a wine bar, and then back home. Zero resistance from her to going home with me - she didn't even ask where we were going!! However, once there is very, very, very nervous and I cant progress past her resistance. We cuddle and kiss for several hours before I take her back to her car.

Later in the evening, I go out to a language exchange meetup in my home city, and this time the ratio is decidedly against my favor (way more men than women). There was only one woman in the entire place I was interested in - a really sexy colombian schoolteacher that was there to practice french. I am talking to her in Spanish quite a lot, yet there is also another dude there competing very heavily for her attention with his very accent-heavy Spanish and British-accent english. She was very receptive to us both. It appeared that they had met previously at another event thus I had the disadvantage, but I could tell the guy was just slightly nervous (saying things to get rid of me like "hey, there is an entourage of German speakers over there, why dont you go talk to them?") At one point he drew his attention to another group, thus I seized the opportunity to get her to come with me to another bar. She was hesitant but also appeared receptive - I just think she didn't want to leave with me in front of the other dude. I go to the bathroom knowing I am taking a risk, and of course as soon as I leave the other guy pounces. I let them be, and see them leave together as I am talking to some other people.

Lessons from past several days.

1.) Women respond very well to gentle leadership. I am getting used to leading women to venue changes and capitalizing on the moment, which is a very good thing.

2.) NO MORE CANNABIS for now. Negatives outweigh the positives.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
I'm in another city for yet another work trip. I really enjoy this job thanks to all the travelling and good pay, but it also forces me to adjust my game tactics. Like mentioned previously, I now attempt to build up a list of contacts that I can try to get on a date, either on a future trip to the same city or FAST during the same trip. Seppuku wrote a post about how getting laid is easier when you travel - this may be true, but you still have to play the numbers to find the right women and that takes time and energy. My work schedule has been busy thus I have been short on both.

Before getting here on Monday, I texted 5 girls that I met here previously - 3 responded, 2 agreed to dates, and both flaked (albeit with what seemed like good excuses - one drives two hours and the weather was bad, and the other is a sexy single mom that said she couldnt find a babysitter and suggested a day-date while the kids are at school - this unfortunately does not work with my schedule this trip).

While here on this trip, I got 4 numbers, one agreed to a date two days after I met her then flaked.

Thus, a lot of flaking this time, and zero results. Last 24 hours or so I've just been focusing on work and not so much on women, since my timeline for making something happen is rapidly shortening. At least I have my two girlfriends in latin america constantly messaging me with kiss emojis, that always makes me feel nice.

I guess when I go back to my home city I will regroup and try to build more contacts and dates there - somehow my home city has been neglected with all this travel. Since I am there on the weekends that is where I should place more of my effort.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
128
Tonight, can't help but feel a bit frustrated. My lay count since leaving my 4-year LTR 10 months ago, in April 2018, is still an abysmal TWO women (both mentioned at the beginning of this journal). In those 10 months, ~8 other close calls of pulling women back to my place (granted, most of these before I started reading GC seriously a few months ago). Also two insta-dates, a one pull back to the girls place. All resulting in no sex.

I have a lot of memories of awesome sex with many women before my LTR. Back then, I knew about other PUA forums, but wasnt implementing the same strategies I am now learning from GC. I certainly wasn't even attempting day game.

Meh, perhaps it wasn't that different back then. I had long dry spells then too, but with definite spikes in sexual activity. It may simply be that recovering from this relationship will take time.

Last night, I had a successful number close from a cold approach at the airport. I felt good afterwards and the girl responded to my icebreaker text. I decided to try to escalate fast and get her out on a date tonight - she politely declined via text. Will have to try again later.

Tonight I am going out by myself to club I know plays good latin music, but is less of a serious salsa club. I may have better luck at these "latin clubs" that dont attract the serious dancers. I will not stop until I meet my goals. And anyway, life doesn't just revolve around pussy ;)
 
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