Científico’s Journal – Recovery from a 4-year LTR

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
For that "dancing partner" girl, you should try friendzoning her and ask her to help introduce you to or bring girls to you when you're both at dance night or wherever :)
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
Last few weeks have been mostly introspective it seems. No dates since the double whammy weekend I had with the Russian dancer Saturday night /Vietnamese girl Sunday two weeks ago. I guess last week too if you count the third meet I had with the American girl, but I hardly even consider that a date.

I was at another dance festival over the weekend, and it seems it was mostly me continuing to learn about myself. Friday night dancing, Saturday workshops, and Saturday night dancing.

Nowhere near the amount of success I had at the last one in April, where I got a succesful bounceback back to my hotel room with one girl and I almost got another one right afterwards with a woman that accepted my fast escalation. This time, I got much less, just some numbers and hooks.

On Friday I hardly even tried. I was tired. Problably burnout from work. I went back to my hotel room around 3 am that night, abstained from masturbation, went to bed and got up Saturday to go to workshops. There I connected with this sexy italian woman I had number closed months ago but failed to get on a date. We vibed for a bit and I asked her to come out to get a drink with me, she invited me to dinner with her and her friends (which I accepted since I had nothing else going on), but then she flaked by not texting me in time. After dinner she apologized and asked if I wanted to get that drink, to which I said yes after I met her. That was my only "date" of the festival.

Saturday night during the party, after the drink with the italian woman, I was more on point. My goal was to ask three women to come back to my hotel room, and I met my goal +1. Unfortunately they were all nos, despite 3-4 strong hooks with women that loved dancing with me. Still, it felt better than not trying like I did Friday.

I think my biggest sticking point right now, more than anything else, is motivation. I am getting lazy and dealing with burnout. I was just out on an errand in the city, and there were quite a few attractive women in the neighborhood I found myself in. However I didnt approach - just didnt feel like it. My mental excuse was "I'm in vacation mode soon, going to Europe, it's dark, why do I want to get a phone number now". Which of course is BS since you never know who you might meet cold approaching.

I am going to implement the once-a-week masturbation system I've seen a few others on this board mention (only jerking off Sunday, and only if I have not gotten laid that week). Just to hopefully increase my energy and sex drive. This one change alone might help solve a lot of my problems.

Like I mentioned previously, yes I am going to Europe first week of December. Back to Sweden where I used to live, then St. Petersburg Russia for the first time. The swedish part of the trip will have some guaranteed sex with a woman I am meeting there (how I met her is another story I wont get into in this journal). The russian part of the trip will be me swinging the bat hard at another dancing festival where I dont know anyone. It will also be great for photo pings to all the women I have in my phone from back here. I am very much looking forward to it.

Afterwards, back to reality, and hopefully to new energy and a prosperous 2020 to come.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
I love traveling, because it always helps me see things from a different perspective, as well as refreshes and recharges the mind.

Most of the learning came in St. Petersburg. When it comes to cold approach, it is clear that I am still very much in a learning phase.

I understand very much now why some pick-up coaches really like to go east when it comes to approaching women. For one, the quality of the women is a substantial improvement – these Slavic genes bring out some of the best facial features, and physically a lot of these women walking around are absolutely stunning. Second, even though my sample size was small (less than 10 approaches over the 4-5 days), I only got one blow out. The girls are always stopping to listen, likely because I am a charismatic foreigner that they seldom encounter approaching them.
In fact, many of the girls are warm and pleasant, especially some of the women I met dancing (lots of cheek kissing, touching).

Some of the lessons from daygame in Russia:

1.) Continuing to improve eye contact, strong presence. This I think is key to help generate approach invitations. One approach I did at a museum that ended in a phone number: I look at the girl, she makes eye contact and looks away, I hold the eye contact and smile, she looks back, smiles, and I open.

2.) The importance of not hesitating too much. I made an approach on the boarding line before my flight back to USA, and the girl was happy to talk, but that however I could not close properly because the line started to move and we ended up splitting up. This would not have happened had I opened just 5 minutes earlier.

3.) Sometimes girls will say no verbally but their body language will say yes. This was a very interesting case with another approach I made at the Galeria mall in St. Petersburg. She kept refusing my number close, but then she would not leave and would still display signs of attraction (laugh at all my jokes) and want to continue the conversation. I am thinking now this could have been an instant date instead had I taken the lead and taken her to the nearby Starbucks or something. I think all that was needed for her was a little extra dominance/leadership to reign her in.

4.) I am still messing up somewhere during the escalation stages during dates. My second approach in Russia was a hook, number close, and date the next day. It was a great experience since this girl had very poor English, and I have very poor Russian, so the conversation went slowly and a good portion was done through translating apps. Unfortunately she resists all my physical escalation attempts, both at the second venue and before I drop her off at her hostel, and I never get date #2 (she ghosts me completely). I am still analyzing what went wrong here.
To continue the last point, below is a recap of the entire experience with this woman:

I am walking along in the Galeria mall in St. Petersburg. This is a massive complex of shops, mostly western brands, close to the main street Невский просвект. It is a fantastic daygame location in the winter time, mainly because it is warm and has a high volume of stunning Russian women walking around doing their shopping.

I had just finished my first approach in Russia in which the girl failed to hook and ejected from the set, and was looking to open another. To my left I notice a shorter Russian woman with dirty blonde hair walking semi-fast, and she gets very close, passes me, and takes the escalator down I was looking to take. I got on the escalator behind her, hesitate but finally open once we are on the next level down.

My opener in Russia always was “do you speak English”. Once they say “a little bit” (the most common answer), I follow up with the normal “I think you look very nice” direct opener then a stack regarding something about her. In this case the stack wasn’t even that spectacular – I told her I wanted to know if she was Russian, since “all the girls here look like you”. But she actually responded warmly to this, and hooked soon afterwards by asking where I was from. From here the conversation went back and forth, slowly due to the language barrier – with her speaking broken English and me speaking broken Russian. Eventually she downloads a translating app to help move our conversation forward, mainly about where I am from, and what we are both doing in St. Petersburg. Then I ask for her phone number over the app and she agrees, with a big smile.

The texting before the first date is essentially flawless. She agrees to the date without hesitation and setting up the meeting point is easy.
I do the date on two venues on the main street. First, a coffee venue then a bar.

Following the date sequence I am trying to perfect, we sat across from each other on the first venue and I did not attempt any physical escalations, and kept the chit chat mostly to normal topics such as: who I am, what I am doing in St. Petersburg, her background, etc. Conversation moved slowly due to the language barrier. It was here that I find out two crucial pieces of information: first, she is not actually from St. Petersburg, but is on vacation from some random town in far-away Siberia. And second, a funny fact: she works for the Russian government!! She showed me pictures of her in uniform, and revealed that she works in law enforcement and immigration. The first time, and perhaps the last time, I will ever go on a date with someone that works for the Russian government. Thanks cold approach pickup!

I did try some spikes here at the first coffee venue - asking her about what kind of guys she likes, asking her why she is single (does she murder all her boyfriends), and asking her about a secret addiction she has (which unfortunately got lost in translation).

Following about an hour or so in the first venue, I suggest we move to another venue. I tried to make the second venue a bar even though she had already revealed she does not drink, I decided to have a beer myself with her. On the walk to the bar I do another escalation, piggy-packing on a topic we were discussion about Russian morality, and people watching porn - asking her the last time she had sex. She refused to answer, I laughed and we moved on to a new topic. Possible mistake here.

The second venue is a bar also on Невский просвект. I pick a small booth in which we are still sitting across from each other, but our legs are very close and touching. Looking back I could have planned the second venue better, but unfortunately I did not do my homework properly before and thus didnt have the optimal side-by-side seating setup.

Here we chit chat about more non-sexual topics. At some high point in conversation, I take her hand with mine, which she holds for maybe 20-30 seconds before pulling away. I interpret this that I need to move more slowly. However, knowing the time constraint and the fact that I will only be in Russia for the next few days, I ask her to come back with me to my hotel for "dancing" (since I revealed I am there for a dancing congress). She says "definately not tonight" but leaves the possibility open for the future, then asks me to walk her back to her hostel.

Here is somewhere else I could have possibly displayed some more leadership, or dominance - calling a taxi and insisting she come to make the best of the short time we have. Or something. Because what I did instead was just accept her frame, and walk her back. When we reach her hostel she tells me I am a very nice guy (bad sign, most likely). I tell her I am not a nice guy, and attempt a manhandle kiss, which she strongly resists. We tentatively make plans for Sunday.

However, she ends up ghosting me afterwards and I never hear from her again.

This is an experience I will be analyzing for a while - might turn this into a field report. I believe one of the main takeaways is that I still need to work on my sex talk routines - and I should borrow them straight from Alek. Logistics were poor since my hotel was far away but that could have been overcome had the right dynamic been set.


 
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Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
December right now seems gloomy and depressing. Weather has been cold and moist - a lot of rain, and of course so close to the winter solstice it gets dark early.

Sub-optimal conditions for cold approach. Almost makes me want to try online dating again. Almost.

Since I got back from my trip, I have not been able to convert any of the leads I had before into actual dates. Some interest from them but no strong hooks or plan making. Part of it of course has to do with this holiday time and just things being difficult to schedule in general. It's also likely I'm not running the best text game in all cases.

I spent the weekend trying to get new leads. First, I went on a daygame outing at a nearby mall. Quality in the USA is nowhere near like it was in Russia. Did 10 approaches, ended up with two phone numbers - one from a married woman that has not replied, and one from a girl whose boyfriend replied to the text "she has a boyfriend".

Following this, went out on Saturday dancing and ran my usual game there. Several phone numbers from women that seemed quite warm to my approach. One in particular was dancing bachata with me very, very sensual - essentially putting her face in front of mine so that there was only a centimeter or two of distance. All I had to do to get the kiss was close that distance, which I eventually did - then she was into it, kissing me back, and constantly wanting to kiss more.

I tried to pull several times. It was always "nooo my friends are over there waiting". Did not know what else to do there. She has been responding to my texts but right now its quiet after I tried to set up a definitive meet. Doesnt help that she lives two hours away by car.

Last night, went out again - and ran into one of my older leads from before the trip, who had said she wasnt sure she was available for a date. Girl is definitely very coy, not always maintaining eye contact while dancing, and wouldn't even let me drive her home (despite me telling her - Uber is expensive, the drivers are not background checked, trust me). She still sent me a "so nice to see you :)" text afterwards so I guess there is some possibility of me getting her out eventually, but this one will require some work.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
After a 5 day holiday break essentially doing nothing with my family, today I thought about getting into the cold approach game when I had to go to a local mall to return a gift I did not want. Unfortunately there simply are not that many sets to open where I live in my local area - I think this reinforces the fact that I need to move somewhere else soon when my lease is up.

I saw maybe 3-4 sets I was truly interested in, but failed to open all of them. I am rusty - my motivation, and my energy, are down. Need to work about more consistently approaching, because this resistance is essentially the main thing holding me back right now.

The most notable interaction was with a latina "hired gun" at the food court where I bought my burrito. She noticed me speaking spanish and looked at me, smiled. I do well among latinas, problably because I do not look like the typical latino myself. I essentially asked her out but could not close definitively because she quickly got busy with other customers. A strategy I often use with service staff is leaving a card with my phone number on it if its very difficult for me to get hers without her coworkers seeing it - unlikely to work since it leaves the ball in their court, but at least keeps me in the running. Unfortunately this time I forgot my cards!! I need to make this part of what I go out with when I go out to daygame.

The good news is, that this last week of 2019 will be very slow work-wise -- plenty of time for me to catch up on personal and work projects, as well as go out consistently to cold approach. One of my biggest personal goals of 2020 is to beat this resistance once and for all.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
Did one approach today at a Whole Foods. Clearly the girl had just come from the gym, had hair pulled back into a tight bun and was walking around with a large backpack. She looked kinda badass in a cute sort of way. I eventually approached her next to the produce, opened direct, told her she looked badass and accused her of working for the CIA. She laughed and smiled, but then ejected herself from the set immediately before I could say anything to go back to look at avocados. I didn't pursue, even though I problably should have.

Not the most optimal outcome of course, but it felt good to finally get a cold approach out after yesterday's day of inaction. Now to continue the momentum. I need to be doing at least one cold approach per day in addition to the normal activities I do to meet women.
 
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Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
Been a good weekend overall. Highlight was a very fast escalation on this vietnamese woman at a dancing event. I dont really think I did much wrong here - ended up in her hotel room within a few hours of meeting her, but presence of roommate and then a friend calling her for consolation prevented me from busting through the LMR. This morning she was texting me like crazy.

Also have some solid interactions going with other ladies. Including another Vietnamese girl I met on Friday at a happy hour (it is the weekend for vietnamese ladies?)

Just note to self: Could problably benefit from a little more push/pull sometimes. A little less pull and a little more push. Especially when a pull is not yet possible.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
568
Nice! Sounds like a good weekend to me!

Also, nice approach at Whole Foods. Direct day game is definitely the toughest, at least in my opinion!

Ehhh I don't know if pursuing was worthwhile. Definitely if she was one you really really wanted to get, then yeah, you've got to take a shot in the dark. Otherwise it sounds like you approached her solely based on looks. One thing I'm trying to do better at (to give myself less heartache!) is to try and at least notice which girls look like they actually WANT to be approached vs those that don't. Where I'm going with this is, in this example, for all you know, you may had opened a girl 100% not available and 100% not looking to meet new people or new guys. Pursuing wouldn't have changed that.
 
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