Date Plans Cloaking (extreme flaking + ghosting) - What's the psychology behind?

[whiteknight]

If you search the internet, Cloaking is a very common dating trend, especially for online dating. Basically, you set up a date with a girl, both of you says "I'm on my way now, see you!", only for the girl to block you on WhatsApp, Instagram, etc just moments before the date happens. She doesn't let you know she changed her mind, or something urgent came up. She just cloaks, vanishes from this world, and gives you no closure.

I recently experienced this, a girl I cold approached on the street. She hooked very hard from the get go, we went on an instant date with a lot of touches. I pulled her home after 1.5 hours of instant date, but experienced LMR down my apartment. Knowing that this is a point of no return, and I probably won't hear from her again, I ask her to follow my Instagram, just for fun. Surprisingly, she texted me the next day, seems very warm and interested. She comments on my Instagram posts. She called me twice on the phone over the next few days hinting that "I have nothing much going on next week, pretty chill". So I asked her to come out for a second date and she happily agreed.

On the day of the second date, I had some work to finish at home, so I invited her to come to my place to cook instead. This is when she brings up "Just to let you know that I have a boyfriend, I would not come to your place, let's go somewhere near your place instead". So I suggested a food court next to my place, to which she said "Ok,yay". As food court is not conducive for touch, I asked to change location a fancy bar near the food court (the bar serves some nice food, a little fancy but it's considered budget friendly). Just minutes before the date, she blocked me on Instagram.

We know flaking is a big part of the game, but cloaking is on another level. But does anyone know what's the psychology behind "Cloaking", and how this could have been prevented? Why she chose to bail and cut communication ?

 

[Skills]

She has a boyfriend and got cold feet... Though the closest you Will find for psychology is ijjjji post, read second entry here:

Calls & Texts - How to Bait via text to get her to hint a meet

Guys you know I like to ramble, but my rambling are PRACTICAL, just stay with me, you know how I love to make shit simple… A seducer asked me to do, a how do I do my baiting (actually there was a texting guide by ijjji rip where he kind of explain my texting style really good based on a post I...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[whiteknight]

She has a boyfriend and got cold feet... Though the closest you Will find for psychology is ijjjji post, read second entry here:

Calls & Texts - How to Bait via text to get her to hint a meet

Guys you know I like to ramble, but my rambling are PRACTICAL, just stay with me, you know how I love to make shit simple… A seducer asked me to do, a how do I do my baiting (actually there was a texting guide by ijjji rip where he kind of explain my texting style really good based on a post I...

www.skilledseducer.com

Thank you @Skills . Cold feet does makes sense from the psychological standpoint. And the fact that I triggered her to bring up her boyfriend didnt help.
Perhaps spontaneous date (instead of pre arrange) could have prevented this. Question: what if both of you are busy and/or lives far apart, and spontaneous date has a low probability of occurring due to the logistics ?

 

[Skills]

Thank you @Skills . Cold feet does makes sense from the psychological standpoint. And the fact that I triggered her to bring up her boyfriend didnt help.
Perhaps spontaneous date (instead of pre arrange) could have prevented this. Question: what if both of you are busy and/or lives far apart, and spontaneous date has a low probability of occurring due to the logistics ?

brah! did you read my answer, i was answering two separate issues: 1.- the cold feet cause she had a boyfriend and got buyers remors

2.- the phycology aspect i said let me quote myself "Though the closest you Will find for psychology is ijjjji post, read second entry here:"

100% Method for Meeting up with Girls​

02-18-2014, 01:55 PM
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Part 1 - Why Plans Result in Cold Feet.

The inherent problem with planned events, is that during the period leading up to the event, there will be 'low' periods where future events are seen in a 'negative light' of worry or lack of enthusiasm. (Just think about a time when you were feeling worried, tired or just bored.) During such times, negative thoughts and worries tend to ACCUMULATE in regard to upcoming events. With longer time span, more such 'lows' will occur, potentially allowing multiple layers of negativity to accumulate. End result is often total loss of interest or even AVERSION.

In short, planning in advance will make any previous doubts FESTER & AMPLIFY, resulting in COLD FEET.

Conclusion: NEVER plan a first meet-up in advance.

Part 2 - How to Make Unplanned Meet-ups Happen.

Effortless way:
-Avoid communicating entirely, until next friday/saturday night.
-Then text something like "Hi Im at bar X! You?"

Fast way:
-Converse (text or phone-call) with girl WITHOUT hinting for a meet. Just flirt! No asking about what she doing or what her plans are.
-The moment SHE HINTS for a meet, suggest meeting up 'right now'.
-Example:

ij: "Heeey tiger u awake? Friday was fuun " (typically 11pm'ish on a sunday)

girl: "Yes? lol your name is sexyjiji?!?"

ij: "What?? you typo on your cell?? My name is ijjjji. Nice to meet you!"

girl: blablabla

ij: blabla (insert playfully busting her balls!!)


girl: flirty blabla. "Im watching series X. What u doing?"

ij: X is nice? I could watch with you but starving.. U have food?


(This method is much more effort, because sometimes you have to tease girls for days before they 'crack' like this. But it always happens sooner or later in my experience!)


- -
(Digression: The fallacy of reverse engineering is evident for this subject. 'Good' (popular) guys report that they never have problems when planning a meeting. (Since the girl had NO DOUBT to begin with.) Consequently, they tend to SPAM the forums with the BAD ADVICE of scheduling meets, leading to an endless stream of frustrated posts from newbies who always get last minute cancel from girls. On average there are 2 new topics like this every week. Every time the same useless advice given. Possibly making this the most deeply rooted misunderstanding in all of seduction.)

(Scheduling meetups can actually be useful for weeding out lukewarm girls, in a situation where you have many girls lined up.. e.g. you could schedule 10 girls from online on the same day, and hope that 1 or 2 dont flake.. Be warned though: the reduction of interest still plays a role, so the girl could be lukewarm when you meet her, leaving you with more 'uphill struggle', compared to a spontaneous meeting..)

 

[whiteknight]

brah! did you read my answer, i was answering two separate issues: 1.- the cold feet cause she had a boyfriend and got buyers remors

2.- the phycology aspect i said let me quote myself "Though the closest you Will find for psychology is ijjjji post, read second entry here:"

@Skills , I got your point on both issues and on the psychology behind in the quoted entry. in that same post the method of spontaneous date was suggested. Hence I’m wondering if spontaneous dates are feasible in general for people who are busy in their life eg busy working and live far apart. I appreciate your view

 

[Skills]

@Skills , I got your point on both issues and on the psychology behind in the quoted entry. in that same post the method of spontaneous date was suggested. Hence I’m wondering if spontaneous dates are feasible in general for people who are busy in their life eg busy working and live far apart. I appreciate your view

No, if You are busy, you can't do spontaneous dates... Flaking is part of the game... answer is to work more numbers and try to work on minimazing flaking, but is going to happen no matter what...also, momentum and state changes play a huge part...