Coffee shop clerk

[Ryo0130]

Hey guys. I have talked to a cute black girl clerk at local coffee shop earlier today. It was around 11 am, the place is fast paced so I couldn't ask few questions. I compliment her that she's in shape, she smiled and compliment me back and then added she would like to workout more often so I said we should go workout together. She gave me her phone number and said call me so we can go. I sent her ice breaker after 40 minutes and she didn't reply , after 8 hours I sent her chase's text:

Hey xxx, hope the rest of your day was as awesome as the beginnings were .Honestly, I'm kind of lazy these days so I think we should definitely grab a bite instead of going to the gym. I don't think you would keep up the pace anyways
I'm free on Sunday and Monday after 5pm. Let me know what days best and we will schedule it up.



There are 2 reason she flakes :

1. I had the same experience with black girl barista couple months ago. I took the number she flaked, then after 2 weeks I went back to the store showed her phone and said " I'm not sure if I'm texting the right number can you confirm?". She said her phone was broken but we ended up dating.

2. This one might sound stupid but she saw me going back to my car and I drive undercover cop car. I'm not sure if this can be a possible reason but I might need to explain her if necessary.


Do you guys recommend to come back next week and follow what I've done with the other black girl?

 

[Ryo0130]

Anyone?

 

[Ryo0130]

Anyone?

 

[ThePhoenix]

I was going to leave this for more experienced guys, but since you're anxious:

To me, writing her again after such a short time when she has never written you, seems a bit too eager to me. I have occasionally given a follow-on text to an unanswered text the same day, but only when there was already a conversation going well.

You need to keep the investment levels at least balanced. For instance, if you're sending multiple complete sentences and a girl is replying with one or two words, the subtext becomes, "this interaction is more important to me than it is to you." It's probably not going to end favourably.

The text you give seems a bit long to me, although if Chase suggests it, I'm sure it has gotten good results. Mind you, remember that Chase is also very good at conveying a sexy vibe in person. As such, he may be able to get away with a text that would make a lesser guy look too invested and pedestrian. Which brings me to, if you're not getting a reply to your initial text, there's a good chance it's not the text itself that is at fault, but instead something in the initial interaction.

It sounds like the initial interaction went well. But maybe your vibe could have been sexier. Girls can be friendly without being sexually attracted, and that can happen if you conveyed a "harmless guy" vibe. A lot of that is down to fundamentals (posture, vocal tone, etc.)

I personally have had much better results where I have used some cocky humour during the initial meeting, and then referenced that in my initial text which was intended just to get her attention rather than also proposing a meet. If you can make it a bit edgy in a way that's congruent, all the better. Subtext in that humour is important too; there's a subtle but huge difference between being funny and being flirtatious. The subtext should be favourable to you.

Re. "I don't think you would keep up the pace anyways", the idea is ok but you might have considered, "I'm not sure if you could match my stamina". I like that better because for one, instead of somewhat putting her down, you turn it into a challenge. There's also playful sexual innuendo (which could be good or bad depending, but personally I'd rather take the risk at least sometimes, rather than always acting neutered.)

I would not try to explain the car. It's probably not an issue, but in any case, more generally, trying to explain yourself sets a bad precedent: it paints you as seeking her approval. If you're that worried about it, you could make some kind of off-hand joke related to it that incidentally clarifies it. But I probably wouldn't even do that.

Your proposal to ask her to confirm the number is worth a try, especially if the last time you tried it your outcome was as desired. One downside, however, is that it draws her attention to the fact that she has been giving you negative compliance. If it's going to work, it's really crucial that your behaviour is cool and non-needy. If your demeanour gives her the feeling that you're very emotionally invested in the outcome, that outcome will probably not be good.

You could also just banter with her next time you see her, give it a day and then text her a very short message just to get her attention, using something you bantered about in your favour. The purpose of that is just to get her writing back, not to immediately propose a meet. You can do that once she's warmed up.

Make sure you're not too invested in this one interaction; it's understandable, but know that it messes up your vibe. I'm trying to get myself to approach in higher volume, because the more girls you're talking to, the less any given one matters to you, and the better off you'll do.

Hope this helps!