What's new

FR  Cold approached on campus: She briefly mentions her bf & 'ill lyk' text. Can someone give me pointers?

DaVinciMatrixStyle

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 26, 2020
Messages
194
I'm not gonna go for this girl, but I would like some pointers on my conversation.

I was walking on campus and my slippers broke. Saw this girl on a bench and set next to her spontaneously.

"Hey! Is this seat taken?"
"No"
"Ahhh, thank god, you know where I can get some new slippers? Mine just broke." (Shows her slippers)
"I think there's a target nearby".

And we start talking.

We got to know each other and turns out she stayed near home for college cause she has little siblings and doesnt want to miss them growing up. She also tells me shes passionate about the medical field, etc. I'm brand new to the campus, kind of like an international student. etc and looking into some student organizations to join. (will elaborate later)

As we're talking, we talk about our rival college and she briefly mentions 'yeah my bf goes there. She told me his nursing professors arent really passionate" (Interpretation?)

Which I played cool "usually professors that teach tend to only care about their research" etc etc.

We exchange IGs, and she asks for my ig name 3x. Which I tease her "omg, ur gonna be a nurse and you keep forgetting names!" which she laughs like "noooo, i swear im typing the right one but its not popping up!". and as I leave she goes "I hope you find new flip flops! :)"

Here's the following message on txt

Me: "Got a fresh new pair!" (Sends a new slipper pic)
Me: Random but nice meeting ya! :)
Her: HAHA
Her: nice meeting you too!
Me: So did you go through X hallway? (where people are recruiting students for their student orgs)
Her: I have not
Her: it's soooo overwhelming
Her: I might just wait for X event.
Me: (Laughing emoji) it's def intimidating at first
Her:Yeah exactly its so badddd :(
Her: I avoid X hallway at all costs! even if it means taking the long way home
Me: Awwww (crying emoji + heart)
Me: By ur sr yr, u'll be swagging through X hallway like Cardi B
Her:I'll prolly be the one on the table! (laughing emoji)
Me: yesss hahaha
Me: So what kinda clubs u goin for? I've been just trying out ones that socialize/fun vs srs ones
Me: (After trying out the srs ones) they suckkkk!
Her: LMAO
Her: I'm not too sure rn
Her: maybe some premed/community service orgs? volunteering?
Her: I saw one that helped low income hs students and that seemed cool
Me: Awww, i like that u have such a big heart for ppl around u including ur little ones
Me: Most ppl dont really care except for what's in it for them. (qualifying seem too overt?)

Me: (Send her a student org flyer)
Me: I'm going to this one, u should come unless if u have something conflicting:)
Me: They do like volunteering/social things from what a friend recommended
Her; oooo that seems really cool
Her:I'm at home for the weekend so I cant for tomorow but maybe the next week one
Her: I'll have to see but i'll let you know
Me: Ahhh no I meant the 8th. I'll be away from the city too
Me: Enjoy ur time home!
Her: u too!

My questions are the following.

1. Did the qualification seem too overt?
2. What's the likely reason for her mentioning her bf here or from you guys' experience.
3. She texted 'I'll lyk".


On this article it briefly mentions thats not the best sign etc.

I'm not gonna go for this girl, but I would like some pointers on my conversation.
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

StrayDog

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Feb 23, 2022
Messages
846
This interaction is mostly just platonic. Maybe, maaaayybe she is considering you as a potential backup plan to her Bf, but there is not much here that indicates that she sees you as a lover. It's not a bad interaction per see, but you did little to present a lover frame. You mostly just gab small talk then get her IG with no real clear game plan for you two meeting. Then your text messages continue the same vibe.
I'm not gonna go for this girl, but I would like some pointers on my conversation.

I was walking on campus and my slippers broke. Saw this girl on a bench and set next to her spontaneously.

"Hey! Is this seat taken?"
"No"
"Ahhh, thank god, you know where I can get some new slippers? Mine just broke." (Shows her slippers)
"I think there's a target nearby".
The decent indirect opener, but probably missed an opportunity to drop a hint of flirtation before moving on to the rapport building.
And we start talking.

We got to know each other and turns out she stayed near home for college cause she has little siblings and doesnt want to miss them growing up. She also tells me shes passionate about the medical field, etc. I'm brand new to the campus, kind of like an international student. etc and looking into some student organizations to join. (will elaborate later)
Decent rapport building. Maybe not all that spicy, but at least you got her talking
As we're talking, we talk about our rival college and she briefly mentions 'yeah my bf goes there. She told me his nursing professors arent really passionate" (Interpretation?)

Which I played cool "usually professors that teach tend to only care about their research" etc etc.
Here are some different approaches

Sometimes brushing off the BF comment as you did is a good strategy. In this case I think you might have gotten more ground by confronting the fact she mentioned it
"Daaang, in bed with the enemy (referring to the rival school). Naw, I am sure he is a total sweetheart. Whens the wedding?" The reason I am suggesting this sort of approach in this instance is because it would help build a bit of tension that is lacking from the interaction.

I have found that it is often best to confront it rather than shy away. And that is usually the approach I take

Some key things:
You don't want to compete for a boyfriend frame, she already has that position filled. You are a lover. No competition
You don't want to actively be putting him down
You don't want to dwell on the subject. Boyfriend is just a passing thought
You do want to make light of their relationship
You do want to frame it as something kind of bland (without being explicit because that would be a put down) "well that sounds cozy"
We exchange IGs, and she asks for my ig name 3x. Which I tease her "omg, ur gonna be a nurse and you keep forgetting names!" which she laughs like "noooo, i swear im typing the right one but its not popping up!". and as I leave she goes "I hope you find new flip flops! :)"

Here's the following message on txt

Me: "Got a fresh new pair!" (Sends a new slipper pic)
Me: Random but nice meeting ya! :)
Her: HAHA
Her: nice meeting you too!
Me: So did you go through X hallway? (where people are recruiting students for their student orgs)
Her: I have not
Her: it's soooo overwhelming
Her: I might just wait for X event.
Me: (Laughing emoji) it's def intimidating at first
Her:Yeah exactly its so badddd :(
Her: I avoid X hallway at all costs! even if it means taking the long way home
Me: Awwww (crying emoji + heart)
Me: By ur sr yr, u'll be swagging through X hallway like Cardi B
Her:I'll prolly be the one on the table! (laughing emoji)
Me: yesss hahaha
Me: So what kinda clubs u goin for? I've been just trying out ones that socialize/fun vs srs ones
Me: (After trying out the srs ones) they suckkkk!
Her: LMAO
Her: I'm not too sure rn
Her: maybe some premed/community service orgs? volunteering?
Her: I saw one that helped low income hs students and that seemed cool
Me: Awww, i like that u have such a big heart for ppl around u including ur little ones
Me: Most ppl dont really care except for what's in it for them. (qualifying seem too overt?)

Me: (Send her a student org flyer)
Me: I'm going to this one, u should come unless if u have something conflicting:)
Me: They do like volunteering/social things from what a friend recommended
Her; oooo that seems really cool
Her:I'm at home for the weekend so I cant for tomorow but maybe the next week one
Her: I'll have to see but i'll let you know
Me: Ahhh no I meant the 8th. I'll be away from the city too
Me: Enjoy ur time home!
Her: u too!

My questions are the following.

1. Did the qualification seem too overt?
2. What's the likely reason for her mentioning her bf here or from you guys' experience.
3. She texted 'I'll lyk".


On this article it briefly mentions thats not the best sign etc.

I'm not gonna go for this girl, but I would like some pointers on my conversation.
By the time you are texting with her, you are kind of fighting an uphill battle. She clearly has some interest in you but the conversation stays pretty solidly in a platonic vibe. That qualification you drop about her big heart is a sweet thing to say. But are you qualifying her as a lover? A Boyfriend? Or a friend? It's not just about qualifying, it's about qualifying her for the right role.

She is telling you "I'll let you know" because she doesn't feel a pressing urge to take you as her lover. You are a friendly cool guy who is inviting her to a social event. She has no indication that this would be anything else than that. Why would she feel pressed to make that happen?

Seems like an uphill battle from here. You might want to consider this more long game, or just social circle it, and have her as a friend. Which could lead to access to other hotties.
 
Last edited:
Top