Cold approaches without a wingman/friend

[Anonymous]

To give some background, I'm a complete beginner at seduction, and talking to girls in general. I'm college-age, and until a month ago, non-platonic interactions with girls were more or less a black hole for me. I've recently started working on my day game, doing cold approaches with a friend once a week.

However, when I go out on my own, I find it significantly harder to work up the energy to approach girls. It isn't really an anxiety issue -- when I'm walking down the street and I see a girl whom I _should_ talk to, but don't find her particularly attractive, or she's with a friend or a group, I simply don't do the approach. As a result of this filter, there are few girls my brain does consider "approachable". So I might go walking for three hours and talk to maybe one girl, and beat myself up for not having done more. Given that my goals are action-based, this is somewhat discouraging.

When I have a friend beside me pointing girls out, however, all of this gets overridden, and I end up talking to multiple girls in the space of half an hour. I'm really excited to up my game from what was essentially 0, but I can't seem to make much progress going solo, and I really want to be able to. Probably couldn't complete the newbie track if I had to do it alone.

There a bunch of skills I can't even begin to work on until I get approaches down. So this is a plateau for me right now.

What are some tips/tricks/mindsets when going solo as a newbie?

 

[Estate]

Hey man,

If your goal is just to practice... then make tons of no pressure approaches and just TALK to people... no intention.

Set a goal... today I'll go out for an hour and speak to 10 people. (Or whatever you feel you need to do).
Then go...! Don't look at it as trying to pick up everyone. Talk to men or women, young or old. Just talk to them, get used to the approach and striking up conversaitons, not "picking up".

I think I can identify. I had the same problem before. The thing in my head was that, lets say a moderately cute girl walked by.... here's what's going through my head:
- She's cute... Approach her?
- Nah, she's not THAT cute. I want REALLY hot girls.
- I can't approach her, what happens when I get her number and date her and then I can't go after HOTTER girls?
- Nah, I'll wait for a REALLY HOT girl.
*Walks around for another hour*
- Man, there's no 10's around today.... *sadface*

See what's going on there? I talked myself out of it because I already built up this thing where I think I sjould approach her but then justify not doing it because he's not the perfect woman and I wouldn't like to end up dating her. It's all built up excuses in my head. And I haven't done anything yet! I could say Hi and she could laugh and walk away yet I'm already thinking of dating... lol... it's so silly.

If you need practice, just practice starting CONVERSATION WITH EVERYONE. Set a goal for the day.... number of people, how you want the conversation to go... and go do it.

I think guys shoudl focus more on this stuff. The whole running up, stopping the girls and shouting "I just HAD to tell you how SEXY you look...." thing is overdone and kinda creepy coming from most guys. Whereas, if you're the type of guy who can just strike up conversation with strangers easily... it's so much easier to pick up girls as you go.

Once you get better.... it's actually OK to be more selective. Some days now... I go out and about and I genuinely just don't see very many women I really want to approach. If they're not there, they're not there. No big deal... maybe tomorrow. Relax.