- Joined
- Jul 6, 2014
- Messages
- 486
I instadated a hot colombian girl and got to try out Alek's purity gambit. I also tried a little bit of SOT, by talking about connection, but I still need to understand the concept properly.
The Meet
Today I went out to do daygame and my goal was to either get an instant date or to hit a high number of approaches ( I didn't have great interactions for the first 9 approaches(which I will write about in my journal) but for the last one, it was a bit of a strange story.
I had taken the wrong train so I decided to follow the train to the last station because there was a cute girl on it (I figured I'd just get off at the end and find a way to open her). But this last station was massive and had transfers to other towns nearby. She disappeared somewhere in the crowd and got onto another platform.
But on my way, I saw a really sexy Latina chick confusedly looking at the map. I'm thinking of doing a direct approach, but I realized that would've been odd because it would not pace her reality(she looked lost). So I stand next to her and ask her if she's lost. She tells me she's trying to get to Chinatown and I say ohh I know how to get there, you can either take the train or you can just walk. It's actually not that far. And while I'm describing the route, I pause and say "I really like your black and white outfit, btw, it reminds me of Sephora" Then I notice she has a black leather jacket folded up under her arm so I point to that and say you know, leather jackets are my weakness, I'm going to have to watch out for you
She laughs and seems receptive. I offer to walk her to Chinatown because she seems cool. So we go on. I know this isn't a great frame to have but I'm not really sure what the alternative would be. In order to compensate, I figured I'd have to do plenty of leading (which would be easy since she's since she is new anyways and I would probably have to be especially flirtatious).
Walking to Chinatown
So we go and walk to Chinatown and it's actually a pretty boring walk. I learn that she's an Aupair visiting from Cincinnati and she is just here on vacation for a couple of days. She stayed with a friend who doesn't get home until 9 so she basically spent the whole day by herself. She compliments me on my jacket too, so I say thanks. She mentions that I don't have to take her around. so in order to minimize it, I just say that I'm done with finals anyways and I love to go on adventures with someone who seems cool. On the walk to Chinatown the topic of relationships comes up and she mentions that her friends do bumble, and coffee meets bagel and tinder, but she doesn't want to do it because she can't trust people you meet online. I relate to this by saying that as well and I also say that people nowadays don't learn to connect with an attractive stranger in real life. And that with the dating apps this is going to become even more of an issue. She agrees.
Chinatown
When we get to the Chinatown, I point out some streets that are where the heart of it is . and so we walk along there. On the way, I suggest we pick up boba since they're only taking cash, she ends up paying, (it was unintentional) but she seemed fine with it, so I just tell her she's very sweet for doing so. What I liked about her is that she was enjoying herself and taking photos as we explored Chinatown, and she she liked the boba as well. She doesn't ask me too many questions during the whole thing, but she does ask some.. During our walk to Chinatown, I was trying to deep dive her on any stories she ad while taking care of the kids from the host family. She shares a little, but it seems there's not too many.. When there's a lull she asks me to tell me something about myself because she wants to practice her listening skills. So I mention that I had to stay with a host family once when I was in China and The kid was a little king. But she gets distracted by the lanterns and old-style buildings. So we go up to the square to check them out. Then we take a seat because she's exhausted and she asks me if I have an Instagram. I don't. so she asks for my number instead and she adds me on whatsapp( Again, I couldn't tell her my phone was dead because I'd been using it all this time to navigate, but by letting her do the asking, it was a little better). Then we walk to some shops and I pull out the rings and tease her asking her if they're her style. And say "I could totally imagine you having a bunch of clunky rings on your fingers) (Which is totally not her style).
Then we enter another part of the old-style square and she says she's very lucky to have met me. I frame it as
Me: You weren't expecting to meet a mysterious stranger at the train station, and now you're at Chinatown at night, under the beautiful lanterns
Her: hahaha
Me: I love it when that happens, you go out and you're not expecting anything to happen and then you meet someone.
Her: She says something about being lost back there
Me: Yeah you looked totally lost, and I was intrigued because of your outfit so I realized I had to figure out
We walk some more and out of the blue she asks if I like sushi. She stops to take more pictures and then I ask her where she wants to live in the future. I guess that she's not the oldest child, and probably a middle child. (she's the second child) So I joke that she gets teased by her older siblings and gets bothered by her younger siblings.
Then she says she's tired. She says she's not cold though and asks if I'm cold. About a minute later she checks the uber to go back to her friend's place. Which is expensive because it's really far away.
She tells me that Colombia is also a little dangerous because of guerilla warfare against the government but she's not sure what the word is so she says spells it out as "warm". (I was also deep diving her about how she decided to do journalism and communications). It was because her school was threatened by a gang and she was part of the investigation force. So she doesn't want to actually be a journalist,
Her: So I don't want to die,
Her: be safe,..
Me: ...be warm (put my arm around her and it was call back humor from before)
Her: hahahah
Her: So I want to work with the people
Then I have her guess what I do, because I realize she knows barely anything. I try to explain it to her and joke that my "second grade" spanish is coming out.
We talk about languages and how little kids are sponges and I tell her a story about my nanny when I was 1 and was able to pick up her language although now I wouldn't remember it. I transition it to saying "the stereotype is when you speak spanish, it's very passionate" and we joke how if you want to curse someone out, you speak in spanish. We talk a little about Colombia and then I ask her what the stereotypes are of colombia.
Sex framing/Purity Gambit Attempt
Her: Women? Men?
Me: What are the stereotypes of women? or just of colombia
Her: Colombian people love to party
Me: They make good lovers...?
Her: ya. If you find the right person, then yeah
Me: Very passionate lovers?
Her: Especially the women.
Me: What's the society like? Is it very open-minded, is it very judgemental? How do you see it?
Her: through feelings
Me: What do you mean? Is it a very conservative culture
Her: Depends on for example, I had a bf for 8 years and when I come here I tell him, I love you so much but you need to get with other person and I need
to go meet other people, because we were together for almost 9 years, its a long time. Because always my plan was to stay here for 2 years because the flight ticket to colombia is expensive and he says "okay" and just for 9 years I loved him and I never tried to find somebody else. But I have friends their boyfriends go fast go low. You can find people who go in the bar and want to kiss you on the first night, but I'm not like that. What's the problem with the American boys here. When you got to the bar they come up close to you and try to touch you and ask you if you want to buy a drink. No I can buy my drink. Or can I kiss you, and it's like what? No, come on boy. I'm not this kind of girl.
Me: So you're the type that likes serious stuff.
Me: is it because you might catch feelings or you might feel judged? becuase I know society itself is very judgemental about doing casual or one night stands. But the way I see it, and it's a little different from how the rest of society sees it. What I value most in a girl is.. purity.
Her: Purity, uh huh(she's listening, not being sarcastic)
Me; And it's not the kind of purity most people think. When I say purity, I mean she's purely enjoying her desires, or purely doing what she wants. Whatever it is, it's what she truly wants. But society defines purity as not having sex, or waiting until marriage to have sex. Which in a way is not pure at all, it's tainted by what society is forcing you to do.
Her: Agrees
Me: What I've found is that my most passionate relationships had passionate starts. Even if I'm only visiting town for a few days...It's really just the connection that was strong
Her: mhm
Me: But people usually follow society what tells them to do, which I guess makes sense, because otherwise everyone would just be fucking around But it's just interesting how we live our lives that way.
Her: Yea. Everybody is different!
Me: yea
Her: Yea, really different
She shows me a picture of her friend and says he looks really crazy(The one she is staying with). Then I transition to having her show me an old picture of her family. I point to her sister and guess that it's her. She shows me more pictures and tease her about the filters, and I ask her who she is closest to. She shows me her tattoo with her sister and I feel it and she tells me what it means. I talk about how I think relationships with your siblings are one of the most important relationships you can have (even more than with parents) and I also ask her what she misses most about Colombia.
I bring up my sister and how she studies psych and she learned about what makes people happy. Usually whenever you get something new or whenever you make an upgrade to something you feel happy for a few weeks but then you return to the base state. One of the few things which increases your base state is having good relationships. Then I talk more about how your siblings are there for you when you are going through shit. But the conversation gets heavy so I transition into saying how we used to bicker and I shared a story about crazy shit my sister did she was little to lighten the mood.
Wrapping Up
Then she asks me if I need to take the train again to go to my home. This would be a good time to try and pull, but I still don't think there was enough sexual tension. So I check my address on her phone. It's on the way to where she needs to go so I ask her if she wants to come along. She says yea, but first she wants to take more pictures so I have her show me the angle she wants. She sees the pictures and doesn't like her expression on them, she's touching me playfully here. We try again and then we go take the train.
I'm trying to figure out her logistics(maybe I can get her to stop by at my place on the way) so I ask her if she's got lots of time but actually her friend said he's free at 7:30 instead of at 9. So now she has to get home quickly and she's tired and wants to sleep. I try to figure out what she's doing tomorrow but I think it's unlikely I'll be able to set something up because it's far and she'll likely be spending the day with her friend.
We take the train and she hugs me goodbye when my stop arrives. She will have to go to the end and then transfer to a bus. She tells me she will text me so I know she gets to the bus stop safely. When I get home, I text her an hour later saying I had a nice time tonight and that I hope she got home safely. She sends me a voice message on whatsapp thanking me and that she's waiting at the bus stop.
Takeaways
I'm too tired to analyze this right now, I spent a lot of time trying to get the bulk of it down here. So I'll post some reflections tomorrow, The main problem is that I didn't even try to pull but also the logistics were bad. I'm especially curious about the sex framing/purity gambit section and whether I handled her frames properly of "I'm not that kind of girl". The interaction could've been shorter. I think a 2hr instant date is a bit long and it feels weird to try and follow up with a girl so soon after already spending that much time with her.
The Meet
Today I went out to do daygame and my goal was to either get an instant date or to hit a high number of approaches ( I didn't have great interactions for the first 9 approaches(which I will write about in my journal) but for the last one, it was a bit of a strange story.
I had taken the wrong train so I decided to follow the train to the last station because there was a cute girl on it (I figured I'd just get off at the end and find a way to open her). But this last station was massive and had transfers to other towns nearby. She disappeared somewhere in the crowd and got onto another platform.
But on my way, I saw a really sexy Latina chick confusedly looking at the map. I'm thinking of doing a direct approach, but I realized that would've been odd because it would not pace her reality(she looked lost). So I stand next to her and ask her if she's lost. She tells me she's trying to get to Chinatown and I say ohh I know how to get there, you can either take the train or you can just walk. It's actually not that far. And while I'm describing the route, I pause and say "I really like your black and white outfit, btw, it reminds me of Sephora" Then I notice she has a black leather jacket folded up under her arm so I point to that and say you know, leather jackets are my weakness, I'm going to have to watch out for you
She laughs and seems receptive. I offer to walk her to Chinatown because she seems cool. So we go on. I know this isn't a great frame to have but I'm not really sure what the alternative would be. In order to compensate, I figured I'd have to do plenty of leading (which would be easy since she's since she is new anyways and I would probably have to be especially flirtatious).Walking to Chinatown
So we go and walk to Chinatown and it's actually a pretty boring walk. I learn that she's an Aupair visiting from Cincinnati and she is just here on vacation for a couple of days. She stayed with a friend who doesn't get home until 9 so she basically spent the whole day by herself. She compliments me on my jacket too, so I say thanks. She mentions that I don't have to take her around. so in order to minimize it, I just say that I'm done with finals anyways and I love to go on adventures with someone who seems cool. On the walk to Chinatown the topic of relationships comes up and she mentions that her friends do bumble, and coffee meets bagel and tinder, but she doesn't want to do it because she can't trust people you meet online. I relate to this by saying that as well and I also say that people nowadays don't learn to connect with an attractive stranger in real life. And that with the dating apps this is going to become even more of an issue. She agrees.
Chinatown
When we get to the Chinatown, I point out some streets that are where the heart of it is . and so we walk along there. On the way, I suggest we pick up boba since they're only taking cash, she ends up paying, (it was unintentional) but she seemed fine with it, so I just tell her she's very sweet for doing so. What I liked about her is that she was enjoying herself and taking photos as we explored Chinatown, and she she liked the boba as well. She doesn't ask me too many questions during the whole thing, but she does ask some.. During our walk to Chinatown, I was trying to deep dive her on any stories she ad while taking care of the kids from the host family. She shares a little, but it seems there's not too many.. When there's a lull she asks me to tell me something about myself because she wants to practice her listening skills. So I mention that I had to stay with a host family once when I was in China and The kid was a little king. But she gets distracted by the lanterns and old-style buildings. So we go up to the square to check them out. Then we take a seat because she's exhausted and she asks me if I have an Instagram. I don't. so she asks for my number instead and she adds me on whatsapp( Again, I couldn't tell her my phone was dead because I'd been using it all this time to navigate, but by letting her do the asking, it was a little better). Then we walk to some shops and I pull out the rings and tease her asking her if they're her style. And say "I could totally imagine you having a bunch of clunky rings on your fingers) (Which is totally not her style).
Then we enter another part of the old-style square and she says she's very lucky to have met me. I frame it as
Me: You weren't expecting to meet a mysterious stranger at the train station, and now you're at Chinatown at night, under the beautiful lanterns
Her: hahaha
Me: I love it when that happens, you go out and you're not expecting anything to happen and then you meet someone.
Her: She says something about being lost back there
Me: Yeah you looked totally lost, and I was intrigued because of your outfit so I realized I had to figure out
We walk some more and out of the blue she asks if I like sushi. She stops to take more pictures and then I ask her where she wants to live in the future. I guess that she's not the oldest child, and probably a middle child. (she's the second child) So I joke that she gets teased by her older siblings and gets bothered by her younger siblings.
Then she says she's tired. She says she's not cold though and asks if I'm cold. About a minute later she checks the uber to go back to her friend's place. Which is expensive because it's really far away.
She tells me that Colombia is also a little dangerous because of guerilla warfare against the government but she's not sure what the word is so she says spells it out as "warm". (I was also deep diving her about how she decided to do journalism and communications). It was because her school was threatened by a gang and she was part of the investigation force. So she doesn't want to actually be a journalist,
Her: So I don't want to die,
Her: be safe,..
Me: ...be warm (put my arm around her and it was call back humor from before)
Her: hahahah
Her: So I want to work with the people
Then I have her guess what I do, because I realize she knows barely anything. I try to explain it to her and joke that my "second grade" spanish is coming out.
We talk about languages and how little kids are sponges and I tell her a story about my nanny when I was 1 and was able to pick up her language although now I wouldn't remember it. I transition it to saying "the stereotype is when you speak spanish, it's very passionate" and we joke how if you want to curse someone out, you speak in spanish. We talk a little about Colombia and then I ask her what the stereotypes are of colombia.
Sex framing/Purity Gambit Attempt
Her: Women? Men?
Me: What are the stereotypes of women? or just of colombia
Her: Colombian people love to party
Me: They make good lovers...?
Her: ya. If you find the right person, then yeah
Me: Very passionate lovers?
Her: Especially the women.
Me: What's the society like? Is it very open-minded, is it very judgemental? How do you see it?
Her: through feelings
Me: What do you mean? Is it a very conservative culture
Her: Depends on for example, I had a bf for 8 years and when I come here I tell him, I love you so much but you need to get with other person and I need
to go meet other people, because we were together for almost 9 years, its a long time. Because always my plan was to stay here for 2 years because the flight ticket to colombia is expensive and he says "okay" and just for 9 years I loved him and I never tried to find somebody else. But I have friends their boyfriends go fast go low. You can find people who go in the bar and want to kiss you on the first night, but I'm not like that. What's the problem with the American boys here. When you got to the bar they come up close to you and try to touch you and ask you if you want to buy a drink. No I can buy my drink. Or can I kiss you, and it's like what? No, come on boy. I'm not this kind of girl.
Me: So you're the type that likes serious stuff.
Me: is it because you might catch feelings or you might feel judged? becuase I know society itself is very judgemental about doing casual or one night stands. But the way I see it, and it's a little different from how the rest of society sees it. What I value most in a girl is.. purity.
Her: Purity, uh huh(she's listening, not being sarcastic)
Me; And it's not the kind of purity most people think. When I say purity, I mean she's purely enjoying her desires, or purely doing what she wants. Whatever it is, it's what she truly wants. But society defines purity as not having sex, or waiting until marriage to have sex. Which in a way is not pure at all, it's tainted by what society is forcing you to do.
Her: Agrees
Me: What I've found is that my most passionate relationships had passionate starts. Even if I'm only visiting town for a few days...It's really just the connection that was strong
Her: mhm
Me: But people usually follow society what tells them to do, which I guess makes sense, because otherwise everyone would just be fucking around
But it's just interesting how we live our lives that way.Her: Yea. Everybody is different!
Me: yea
Her: Yea, really different
She shows me a picture of her friend and says he looks really crazy(The one she is staying with). Then I transition to having her show me an old picture of her family. I point to her sister and guess that it's her. She shows me more pictures and tease her about the filters, and I ask her who she is closest to. She shows me her tattoo with her sister and I feel it and she tells me what it means. I talk about how I think relationships with your siblings are one of the most important relationships you can have (even more than with parents) and I also ask her what she misses most about Colombia.
I bring up my sister and how she studies psych and she learned about what makes people happy. Usually whenever you get something new or whenever you make an upgrade to something you feel happy for a few weeks but then you return to the base state. One of the few things which increases your base state is having good relationships. Then I talk more about how your siblings are there for you when you are going through shit. But the conversation gets heavy so I transition into saying how we used to bicker and I shared a story about crazy shit my sister did she was little to lighten the mood.
Wrapping Up
Then she asks me if I need to take the train again to go to my home. This would be a good time to try and pull, but I still don't think there was enough sexual tension. So I check my address on her phone. It's on the way to where she needs to go so I ask her if she wants to come along. She says yea, but first she wants to take more pictures so I have her show me the angle she wants. She sees the pictures and doesn't like her expression on them, she's touching me playfully here. We try again and then we go take the train.
I'm trying to figure out her logistics(maybe I can get her to stop by at my place on the way) so I ask her if she's got lots of time but actually her friend said he's free at 7:30 instead of at 9. So now she has to get home quickly and she's tired and wants to sleep. I try to figure out what she's doing tomorrow but I think it's unlikely I'll be able to set something up because it's far and she'll likely be spending the day with her friend.
We take the train and she hugs me goodbye when my stop arrives. She will have to go to the end and then transfer to a bus. She tells me she will text me so I know she gets to the bus stop safely. When I get home, I text her an hour later saying I had a nice time tonight and that I hope she got home safely. She sends me a voice message on whatsapp thanking me and that she's waiting at the bus stop.
Takeaways
I'm too tired to analyze this right now, I spent a lot of time trying to get the bulk of it down here. So I'll post some reflections tomorrow, The main problem is that I didn't even try to pull but also the logistics were bad. I'm especially curious about the sex framing/purity gambit section and whether I handled her frames properly of "I'm not that kind of girl". The interaction could've been shorter. I think a 2hr instant date is a bit long and it feels weird to try and follow up with a girl so soon after already spending that much time with her.
