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Competition--Guy wants the same girl.

nexus321

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 1, 2014
Messages
63
So there is this girl in class I sorta like, problem is there is this super confident guy (with tattoos) who also likes her. I feel like compared to this guy I don't stand a shot. What should I do? I've practically given up in my head. I'm not the most confident person in the world but I do open up once you get to know me. What should I do!?
 

Smurf

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 7, 2013
Messages
714
Hey man!

I've put myself in similar situations where I want to "get this one specific girl". What usually ends up happening is I try way too hard to get her and I don't end up succeeding. I then feel like it was a big loss for me and pout about it for weeks on end.

What I do now is when I know I feel like "I definitely should get THIS one", I talk to that one, and then try and actively pursue 5 other girls. This way I'm not putting pressure on myself to get "the one" and I have other options (abundance).

Don't think of it so much as a competition, but as YOU talking to the girl. There's been many a time where I think to myself, "Damn, this dude is good looking, I probably have no chance at her..." but I end up beating out - I guess you would say - the other dude. You never know what a girl is into. She might hate tattoos.

Just go for it, don't try to compare yourself to the other guy, and make sure she's not taking up a big chunk of time in your life. That's how I would handle that.

Jake.
 

foggy

Modern Human
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Jul 20, 2015
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1,532
How are your fundamentals compared to his?
 

MichaelGScott

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Jul 1, 2016
Messages
28
Give her less attention than he does. This is going to be about displaying a higher social value than him. Project his and her relationship in her mind. Say after you see he's giving her attention (and when he's not around), jokingly tell her you think they'd make a cute couple. It seems counterintuitive, but by doing this you get to fly under the radar, and slip past her defenses, while simultaneously (unless she's really attracted to him) preventing a relationship from blossoming. Think about it. Say you're at work, and you're friends with a girl. You don't find her sexually attractive, but you enjoy talking to her. Now say someone jokingly says you two like each other (b/c you find yourself talking to her a lot), it'll make you want to stop talking to that girl even though you think she's nice, because you don't want other people thinking you find her attractive, or that you'd date her. It's the same concept at play here. Also, you'll want to project the two of you dating in a joking sense. Pretend like the two of them are already dating, and say, "You and John make such a cute couple. And it's too bad I like him, otherwise I'd take you to a tropical island and we'd sip pina coladas all week long naked on the beach. But he's such a nice guy, I could never do that to him." You're displaying confidence by inferring you COULD have her if you wanted (Alpha), but, this (Beta) John guy is what's stopping you, b/c you sarcastically care about his feelings. Then just play it cool, jokingly make it seem like you can't date her. When you tell someone they can't have something, it makes them want it more. While he's directly pursuing her, you're indirectly pursuing her through subliminal psychological means, which she'll subconsciously act upon. Employ these tactics throughout your classes together.
 

Smith

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 14, 2013
Messages
1,016
Don't even worry about him. "alpha guys" or guys in abundance don't worry about other guys. Just do your own thing. Do what you would usually do to sleep with a girl. There's no need to try to sabotage lol I think that's kind of insecure. If she likes you, she likes you. If she doesn't, she doesn't.
 

nexus321

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 1, 2014
Messages
63
Jake D. said:
Hey man!

I've put myself in similar situations where I want to "get this one specific girl". What usually ends up happening is I try way too hard to get her and I don't end up succeeding. I then feel like it was a big loss for me and pout about it for weeks on end.

What I do now is when I know I feel like "I definitely should get THIS one", I talk to that one, and then try and actively pursue 5 other girls. This way I'm not putting pressure on myself to get "the one" and I have other options (abundance).

Don't think of it so much as a competition, but as YOU talking to the girl. There's been many a time where I think to myself, "Damn, this dude is good looking, I probably have no chance at her..." but I end up beating out - I guess you would say - the other dude. You never know what a girl is into. She might hate tattoos.

Just go for it, don't try to compare yourself to the other guy, and make sure she's not taking up a big chunk of time in your life. That's how I would handle that.

Jake.

Thanks for commenting. Yeah I'll do that. Wish me luck.
 

nexus321

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jun 1, 2014
Messages
63
MichaelGScott said:
Give her less attention than he does. This is going to be about displaying a higher social value than him. Project his and her relationship in her mind. Say after you see he's giving her attention (and when he's not around), jokingly tell her you think they'd make a cute couple. It seems counterintuitive, but by doing this you get to fly under the radar, and slip past her defenses, while simultaneously (unless she's really attracted to him) preventing a relationship from blossoming. Think about it. Say you're at work, and you're friends with a girl. You don't find her sexually attractive, but you enjoy talking to her. Now say someone jokingly says you two like each other (b/c you find yourself talking to her a lot), it'll make you want to stop talking to that girl even though you think she's nice, because you don't want other people thinking you find her attractive, or that you'd date her. It's the same concept at play here. Also, you'll want to project the two of you dating in a joking sense. Pretend like the two of them are already dating, and say, "You and John make such a cute couple. And it's too bad I like him, otherwise I'd take you to a tropical island and we'd sip pina coladas all week long naked on the beach. But he's such a nice guy, I could never do that to him." You're displaying confidence by inferring you COULD have her if you wanted (Alpha), but, this (Beta) John guy is what's stopping you, b/c you sarcastically care about his feelings. Then just play it cool, jokingly make it seem like you can't date her. When you tell someone they can't have something, it makes them want it more. While he's directly pursuing her, you're indirectly pursuing her through subliminal psychological means, which she'll subconsciously act upon. Employ these tactics throughout your classes together.

Wow, that's so brilliant!!! I could totally see myself doing this. And what should I do if I meet a girl who has a boyfriend?
 

MichaelGScott

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 1, 2016
Messages
28
nexus321 said:
MichaelGScott said:
Give her less attention than he does. This is going to be about displaying a higher social value than him. Project his and her relationship in her mind. Say after you see he's giving her attention (and when he's not around), jokingly tell her you think they'd make a cute couple. It seems counterintuitive, but by doing this you get to fly under the radar, and slip past her defenses, while simultaneously (unless she's really attracted to him) preventing a relationship from blossoming. Think about it. Say you're at work, and you're friends with a girl. You don't find her sexually attractive, but you enjoy talking to her. Now say someone jokingly says you two like each other (b/c you find yourself talking to her a lot), it'll make you want to stop talking to that girl even though you think she's nice, because you don't want other people thinking you find her attractive, or that you'd date her. It's the same concept at play here. Also, you'll want to project the two of you dating in a joking sense. Pretend like the two of them are already dating, and say, "You and John make such a cute couple. And it's too bad I like him, otherwise I'd take you to a tropical island and we'd sip pina coladas all week long naked on the beach. But he's such a nice guy, I could never do that to him." You're displaying confidence by inferring you COULD have her if you wanted (Alpha), but, this (Beta) John guy is what's stopping you, b/c you sarcastically care about his feelings. Then just play it cool, jokingly make it seem like you can't date her. When you tell someone they can't have something, it makes them want it more. While he's directly pursuing her, you're indirectly pursuing her through subliminal psychological means, which she'll subconsciously act upon. Employ these tactics throughout your classes together.

Wow, that's so brilliant!!! I could totally see myself doing this. And what should I do if I meet a girl who has a boyfriend?

BFD (Boyfriend Destroyer). BF's mean absolutely nothing, unless their relationship is really serious and bordering on marriage. Use the exact same quote about taking her to a tropical island. But do keep in mind that you NEVER want to speak negatively about the boyfriend, this'll make her want to defend him. Instead, if she brings him up, ask about him, and no matter what, say he sounds like a great guy. Complement the bf (Wow, he sounds like such a great guy, I bet he brings you flowers and chocolate and every week((But don't say that sarcastically)) Me on the other hand, I'd always hang out with my friends, and forget to text you back, and leave you at the restaurant by yourself on valentine's day ((do say this sarcastically)), even exaggerate it. By doing this, instead of defending him, she'll actually be inclined to start thinking of her bf's negative qualities. Then, pretend like he doesn't exist. Game her as if she doesn't have a bf.
 

Frost

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 27, 2015
Messages
182
If a girl has a boyfriend, it's much easier to sleep with her the same night you meet her and never hear from her again rather than have her break up with her boyfriend and date you instead. And honestly I don't think it's even worth the effort of trying to "destroy" the BF especially with an abundance mindset.

Now back to your issue. I suggest you move fast just like in How to Get Girls: The Last Post You'll Ever Need

And remember that the other guy might not be her type. Just work normally and don't get too emotionally attached, or think about the competition.
 

MichaelGScott

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jul 1, 2016
Messages
28
Frost said:
If a girl has a boyfriend, it's much easier to sleep with her the same night you meet her and never hear from her again rather than have her break up with her boyfriend and date you instead. And honestly I don't think it's even worth the effort of trying to "destroy" the BF especially with an abundance mindset.

Now back to your issue. I suggest you move fast just like in How to Get Girls: The Last Post You'll Ever Need

And remember that the other guy might not be her type. Just work normally and don't get too emotionally attached, or think about the competition.

The boyfriend destroyer should only be used to sleep with a girl. If the BFD routine works on a girl, why would you want to date that same girl? If she'll cheat on her bf with you, what's stopping her from cheating on you if you did start a relationship?
 
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