Compliance at a wedding

[LichtenbergFigures]

Hi all

Long time lurker on the forums, but avid follower of the site. I posted the below on a recent article that Chase put up - "What If She Says No?" - but figured it worthwhile posting in here as well to garner some opinions.

A quick set up of the situation. Saturday night (9th) I was DJ-ing at a wedding reception and one gorgeous girl - a bridesmaid (also sister of the bride) - was, in her one words, "the bane of my evening" of which I told her was perfectly fine by me.

As I was working and wanting to look professional, I didn't have that much of an opportunity to really open her, despite the amount of times she came up to request songs (although on numerous occasions she came over and didn't know what she wanted - so maybe this was a missed opportunity).

At the end of the night, after everything was packed away just before I was due to leave, she came over to discuss payment and I took the opportunity to ask if she would like to have coffee with me. She replied with what you've described above as a "gentle no" - basically she said she "couldn't" because she had a boyfriend, but it was sweet of me to ask. I took that as not that she didn't want to, but she was unsure if she should due to the boyfriend situation (if indeed that was even true - he wasn't at the wedding...).

I brushed off the rejection with a smile and a "well if you don't ask you'll never know" but in your opinion, should I have persisted a little more until I got either a yes, or a firm no? At the very least should I have tried to get a number?

As an aside - I currently don't have any business cards, which I would have given to her as a "in case you change your mind".

Thanks
C

 

[Thedoctor]

Lichtenberg,

I think you waited too long and her attraction expired. You don't really need to find time to open her since she is coming to you. This is the advantage of working as a DJ or bouncer or bartender etc.

You could have persisted more when you asked her out. It's never a bad idea to push a little, but there's a good chance she was already in auto rejection since you waited too long.

-John

 

[LichtenbergFigures]

Hi John

Thanks for the feedback. I believe you might be right - coming over and not having any idea what song she actually wanted should have been a bit of a giveaway, but alas, I did not see these signs.

I am little weary when DJing at weddings because I do want to maintain an air of professionalism (albeit, I am known for having a few drinks and mingling during songs - I've even slow-danced with a girl) but I think she threw me off guard a little.

This is all part of the learning experience. I have another gig this coming weekend, so hopefully there will be opportunity to open some more girls.

-Colin