Compression Dates and Kissing

[Bboy100]

Hey guys,

So, I've been running into an interesting problem as of late. I'm still a beginner at pickup, so naturally, I'm not always capable of pulling a girl home on the first night (so far my ratio of pulls to number of dates is 1/4). The rest of the time, I normally have to either move onto a second date or run compression dating.

Being that this is the case, I'm not sure if/when to kiss her. Lets say its the end of a first date, I've invited her home and she said no. Or perhaps I didn't even try due to lack of logistics and/or not enough signals of interest/emotional connection, in either case, it's the end of the date. Should I kiss her?

Pros of attempting to kiss her:
I know where I stand...at this point, I do/don't have results, and I'm not just making assumptions based off her reactions
Regardless of whether she complies or not, she sees that I have the confidence to at least try. Also, she fully understands my intent for what our relationship will be like. So basically, I feel like I have far less of a chance of ending up in the friend-zone. <-----This is the especially important one imo

Cons:
Assuming she complies, we're now on an even level. That is to say, I've lost all mystery and intrigue, she has no doubts in her mind that she "has" me. So, in all likelyhood, her attraction for me will probably plummet.
If she doesn't comply, not only do I lose any control I had, but she also now feels like she has more social power than me, thus probably killing her attraction altogether.

Cause I mean, I feel like if I run three dates without kissing her, she could very easily friend zone me, or lose interest because I didn't move fast enough. On the other hand, see cons.

 

[Smith]

What works quite well for me is to do a good 1st coffee date, where we'll talk, connect and physical escalate a bit for 1-2 hours. I don't kiss her here yet, but I'll do some sexual touch on her leg, waist, hand area and calibrate. Then tell her we should do XX or cook next time. Usually by the end of this date, if she's receptive and warm, I have a good feeling that we'll fuck the next time.

Then after a couple of days, I invited her over, we talk and finally kiss and escalate all the way to the bedroom. Then we make dinner.

That's my process right now. Pulling a girl home on the 1st date hasn't work that well for me, but for some reason I pulled off same day lay a couple of times. I guess it depends on the situation. If you can sleep with her right now, don't put it off until the next date. My philosophy right now is to go for instant date if you can because you'll be amazed how easy it is to sleep with her that day. The emotion and excitement is fresh. It has that whirlwind romance feeling, and even if you don't manage to sleep with her that day, you still have a greater chance of sleeping with her next time than just simply grabbing her number.

Good luck!

 

[Bboy100]

Thanks Smith! Very insightful information.

Also, how would you recommend inviting her over if its not for cooking? Cause I can't cook. And I feel like if its not cooking than its either for drinks or "watching a movie". In either case, it always seems like a blatantly obvious invitation for sex to me.

 

[Lotus]

Also, how would you recommend inviting her over if its not for cooking? Cause I can't cook. And I feel like if its not cooking than its either for drinks or "watching a movie". In either case, it always seems like a blatantly obvious invitation for sex to me.

A big part of the pull is when and how. Make it sound natural and not planned, even though you want to be planning the pull throughout the date. Simply saying, "lets go watch a movie" or "lets go have a drink" is obvious. Find out what TV shows, movies, alcohol she drinks and pick something you guys both relate to and use that for the pull. You're bound to find overlap and then your pull should be, "Hey lets go watch movie/show XXX we talked about earlier". it is a lot more natural and all she needs to be is somewhat interested in you.

The when is also important, do it as your are getting ready to leave the coffee shop/bar. It will feel like a natural continuation of the date and you don't leave her time to think about it she will just feel like it's a good idea.

Another phrase you can add in with your pull..." I have had a good time with you tonight and we should continue to hangout" + your pull. It communicates she lives up to your standards and you don't invite every girl home( even if you do!)

Just make her feel good and make it seem natural that she would want to come home and hangout with you more.

-brum

 

[luego]

Just learn how to cook. I make a deadly maple baked salmon, and it's freaking foolproof. It's not tough at all to have 2 or 3 very impressive, very easy meals, in your repertoire.

 

[Bboy100]

Thanks Brum. That sounds so much better than what I've been trying to do! I'll start implanting that immediately.

Luego, yeah, I've been considering that. Its definitely a good skill to have, no matter what. So yeah, I'm gonna look into learning a few meals, just for its own sake.

 

[Witcher]

He Bboy

It's a question i'm asking my self too, regarding my current level and logistics, i want to go to the compression dates route.
You can fin some of them on o this topic by V about first date tatcis and logistics.
viewtopic.php?f=4&t=3171

So my main interrogations here are :

1)How to end each of the 2 first date properly
2)For kising, how to avoid the botyfriend dilemma if you kiss her and not bed her.