- Joined
- Dec 16, 2015
- Messages
- 183
Background Info:
So let's start this off by saying I've used 1 gram of Phenibut today (500 mg. in the morning, 500 mg. around 8 PM before I went out). This stuff is great, destroys my social anxiety, makes me super over the top confident; I can be a lot more aggressive and I don't give two shits what people think about me (to an extent of course). Of course the negative side is I think part of that erasure of social anxiety kills my social calibration a bit (I say whatever the fuck is on my mind, like I'll use tactics from Girlschase but the problem is I don't really use them in the right order where I probably would if I was better socially calibrated). An example would be sexual framing before the deep dive, or being too aggressive in social circle game (which can help and has helped before but in this situation it was pretty... off). Keep in mind these are still my first 2 months using these tactics and I'm still really new at this too (I've gotten a fair amount of girls in the past but really had no idea what I was doing and was just following gut instinct as far as pulling/building emotional connections), so I still don't really know how to use them properly anyway.
Anyway, my mate Trey (who just got out of prison a couple days ago after doing almost a year and a half) hits me up and says we should go to some party and then pickup and bring some females back to his place, on the way there he says we should pickup my friend Jordan (since he's on the way). Now some background on these two is they both used to work for me when I was running nightclubs and raves (security/promotions etc.) I figure the two of them are a good balance since all three of us get a fair amount of women and the way it was before is Trey was more aggressive, direct and polarizing than me (he's got kind of the hood/thug image going on) and Jordan is a fair bit more "nice guy"/indirect (though ridiculously good looking and pulls girls by just standing there lol). I used to be a solid balance between the two of those (more direct than Jordan and less aggressive than Trey), though since reading GC my tactics have changed quite a bit (in my favor though I'm still learning how to apply what I've learned here).
The Field Report Itself:
So Trey and I arrive at Jordan's and we find out the party is cancelled or something like that, Jordan is facetiming two girls (one of them super interested in him and wanting to drive like 2 hours to seem him), we decide they will be our targets tonight. Trey has to get back home by curfew as he's on parole, so we decide to have the girls drive out and meet us at Trey's place and just hangout there so he has his chance with one (since he just got out of the joint I tell him we'll swing things in his favor, since he hasn't had pussy in almost a year and a half). I drive the boys back to Trey's and he has this sweet apartment type basement (that he lives in seperated from his parents), however because we're a bit late for curfew his stepdad freaks and he has to go finesse our way to use the pad, he tells us to wait at the QFC down the road for the girls and he'll call us when we can come over.
Jordan and I go to the QFC and wait, I see a blue true pull in and the girl that's interested in him (Carla) calls him and tells him she's there. Jordan has zero concept of how to pull properly so I say we should just go join the girl's in their car, we walk over to the truck and start chatting with the girls. Carla's friend (who is named Aela) introduces herself and I find out she's 17 and Carla is 16 (the laws in my state are fine with this, age of consent here is 16, though I try to avoid pursuing girls under 18, but hey they're here and there's no other prospects tonight). I ask if we can sit in Aela's truck since it's cold, she says "sure" and Jordan and I get in. Right away I start dominating the conversation (probably a mistake), I also started using Kino a bit too fast (I just touched her shoulder but... when she pulled out a picture of her cat I leaned over and said "I love cats
" and she literally JUMPED and basically thought I was talking about pussy instead of kittens, I swear I was actually talking about kittens, she also mentioned that she didn't "know me like that and I was touching her, so an obvious misstep on my part) and I think I creeped Aela out (which already sets the wrong tone), I used sexual framing completely wrong here too somewhere in the "getting to know them part" by saying "you're not a virgin are you"? The context seemed right to me (and Jordan too by what we were talking about at the time, it seemed teasing, but she mentioned it was odd). I noticed her getting a lot more sarcastic with me by the second and not in a good way! I try to reframe and fix the situation, she also mentioned she thought I was like 30 when we first get in the car and was like "who is this old creeper getting in my car?" Needless to say the convo does not go well and I say "Well shit, if you're just gonna be rude to me I don't want to talk to you anymore" (something along those lines but in a teasing, playful way, which she still did not respond too very well).
Trey calls and the way I start to see this night is gonna go REALLY wrong is when she starts talking to him (idk what he asked) but she replied "yes I need saving!!!" (didn't say anything else about me but I could tell this was about me completely), she also mentions "his voice was fucking hot" (perhaps another way of getting away from me and my creepiness and conveying her discomfort?)
I'm not happy with the reaction from that call (though I don't show it with body language, and completely understand that this IS MY FAULT, and I shouldn't have creeped her out like that), I also say point blank that I'm not talking to her anymore. So basically now that we can go over to Trey's I just stop giving two shits about her and start kind of being a prick (I know not a good reaction, no idea what I was thinking). The way I was being a prick was by walking really slow (since they had no idea where they were going, and it was really cold outside so they were trying to move fast), I literally told Jordan "They could get lost since they don't know where they're going" and we start laughing at them (I think this was a defensive response to being shut out, even though again this was my fault and I totally get that). Don't remember exactly how we got on the topic but I think I said something like "I can't tell if you're just a really sarcastic person of if you actually don't like me" to Aela and Carla starts talking about how I "shouldn't piss Aela off, because then she'll (Carla) get pissed off" (obviously I'm not afraid of 17 year old girls but the point is I'm literally just making the situation worse at this point). I stop talking to them and only talk to Jordan on the 10 minute or so walk to Trey's, ignoring them whenever they say something to me.
We finally get close and are trying to find the exact residence when the girls point out a creepy lookin fellow in a hood walking towards us, as I'm the biggest and most muscular of the group they both start gravitating towards me and I (still being bitter and pissed off) say "OH NOW YOU WANT TO COME AND BE GOOD WITH ME HUH??", Aela mentions that her and Carla were molested a couple of days before at a party in their area, once I hear that I immediately feel bad and stop being an asshole and say "Hey I'm really sorry that happened to you..." They look at me with somewhat different expressions on their faces (softer than the sarcastic one's I was getting earlier). The guy in the hoody actually turns out to be Trey, who's phone died and was coming to meet us to make sure we made it in ok. Once he walks up he offers me a cigarette and I go back to the earlier conversation about the molesation and say "Hey I'm really sorry for being an asshole earlier, I didn't mean to come off like that" (at this point I know nothing is gonna happen so I start behaving in a much more platonic way and it seems to cool things down tension wise, and no not sexual tension just bad vibes). I figure I already fucked up so... I should just watch the social dynamics, help Trey get laid and seek to not come off as creepy next time.
We head inside and the girls are giggling and talking to each other, it's super dark so I talk about how a serial killer with a hockey mask might get us (in a teasing laughing way) and it seems to defuse the tension more and both Aela and Carla seem to be a little more friendly to me. We finally get inside and I immdediatly go sit on the couch by myself, Aela comes and sits next to me (and tries to tell Carla to go sit next to Jordan, though Carla says she wants to sit on top of Aela; so both girls end up sitting next to me touching me with their arms (so I assume we're good tension wise and just leave it at basically platonic gestures from now on), Jordan sits next to me and Trey sits on the rocking chair.
Nothing much interesting happens in the next 30 minutes or so, I can tell Trey is trying to alpha dog me a bit (but his attempts are laughable and I refute any of his comments and throw them back in his face) we banter and I know he's just trying to get laid (and seem more alpha in the group) so it doesn't offend me in the slightest and I actually start thinking this could be a chill night (another learning experience under my belt). Anyway Carla goes and sits next to Jordan and me and Aela chat a little bit, everyone in the group is telling jokes and things are seeming pretty chill (though I probably made some more douchey overtly cocky remarks as I always do), I catch this though and try to use some self deprecating humor, when Trey tries to Alpha dog me about having an Indian accent (I was born in Texas lol, zero accent other than an American one), I actually roll with it and try to at least make myself not seem as douchey (as Aela is trying to get me to do it, and I'm trying to not seem like a prick to her). Again things seem to be really chill at this point, so I decide to help Trey out (since I know he's smart and will grab my seat next to Aela when I go to the restroom), needless to say as soon as I get up to go he hops up and takes my spot saying "trackrunner you got spot jacked!" (I really wanted to say "I know dumbass that's what I was going for", but I don't and I go to the restroom).
Anyway... Here's where things start going more off, you can hear everything being said in the living room in the bathroom just by somewhat listening (though they didn't think I could hear them), I hear Aela say something along the lines of: "Your friend comes off really fucking strong", and "I was being nice right now but see what happens if he pisses me off" (something like that anyway) I don't remember what else they said exactly but her and Carla were basically talking some shit (I wish I'd paid more attention but my mind was going a little red at that point and this Phenibut makes it hard to remember everything in a situation), they did say a shit ton about me (and none of it good) they never said I was outright creepy but more stuff along the lines of "That guy is so fucking cocky/he's a dick etc." I was pissed but held my temper (THANK YOU PHENIBUT!!!), I came out of the bathroom and they just started talking about normal stuff, I sit in the rocking chair like nothing is wrong, I notice Aela looking at me and she says something but I completely ignore her (I think I also gave her a "cold stare" when I came out of the bathroom). I say something along the lines of "You know it's interesting how one can hear everything being said in the living room while in the bathroom..." I didn't say it weak at all either I stared directly at both girls coldly. Aela covers her face immediatly and her and Carla give each other a look (my boys had laughed along with them but I wouldn't blame them even if they had talked shit, doesn't matter they're doing what they need to do to get laid).
Everyone just gets dead fucking silent, so I break the tension (to help my boys of course) by saying "I SURE DO LOVE MAKING THINGS AWKWARD", Aela sees this as tension breaking and apologizes to me for not being more upfront and saying it to my face, also saying "she would have said it by the end of the night", I just say I'm not like normal people and don't get butthurt or care what people think of me. Interestingly enough she says this statement (which is conclusionary of what I need to massively change) "Look at you, even the way you sit, it's like you're higher than the rest of us; like you're better than everyone else, the way you walk (she said I walked like a pimp earlier lol WTF?), the way you talk..." I simply say this is who I am and I'm not interested in changing for anyone.
Anyway rest of the night isn't all that interesting, it doesn't seem to go anywhere for Trey and Aela, even Jordan and Carla aren't being that flirty. Trey puts on some music and they're watching videos (not intentionally excluding me but there's only so much room on the couch, the guys are still talking to me of course, and Carla too though I don't address her as much), Trey texts me a couple times apologizing for Aela's behavior because they can see while I'm still talkative and chill I'm irritated at the least (though let's be real this was my issue, not the girls) I figure at this point it would be better for the vibes of the room if I took off; so Trey and Jordan could do what they needed to do and I could write this field report up and get some advice from Girlschase. I grab my jacket from under Carla when I get back from the bathroom again and Trey says: "Yo I was just telling the girls that you pulled some Indian magic and teleported outta here or some shit g", I simply say "Yup, you know me bruh magical as fuck ", I do the shake hands/hugs with the boys and don't bother even addressing farewells with Aela and Carla.
As I head out I listen to hear anymore shit talking about me, there is nothing so I jet out and head home. Interestingly enough as I was typing this up Trey texted me, I asked him if the girls had said anything else "asking him to be honest as it was feedback for my game and I don't give a fuck or get butthurt", he says "Nah bruh, Aela actually felt really fuckin bad when you left", I don't bother asking for clarification or more details as this was simply a learning experience.
Thoughts on this night:
So... I know I did a few things wrong (more than a few actually), Kino needs to stop, completely for awhile until I get better at recognizing when I can use it and when I can't. I need to better recognize whether I'm in social circle or I'm in cold approach game and work on my environmental calibration. Also gotta stop being a dickhead and letting bad situations affect me and get me to be bitter and make situations worse.
If anyone can point out more errors (which I'm sure there are many) I would be very appreciative. I want to get better, I want to not be bitter and have REAL success with women (not the fake success I used to think was real when I had massive social power) or even with online pulls! I want to get better at doing this in person, social circle and cold approaching; to become a real man and never have to fear being alone again! I don't want to end up like Elliot Rodgers, hating women because I don't understand them and can't get anywhere with them.
I will get there, no matter how long it takes, no matter how painful the journey; I will get there. (and it is MASSIVELY fucking painful on the ego haha, Phenibut makes it so I can't feel it as much but it was rough for awhile before I started using this stuff and working on training my emotional armor and mind to not get affected).
So let's start this off by saying I've used 1 gram of Phenibut today (500 mg. in the morning, 500 mg. around 8 PM before I went out). This stuff is great, destroys my social anxiety, makes me super over the top confident; I can be a lot more aggressive and I don't give two shits what people think about me (to an extent of course). Of course the negative side is I think part of that erasure of social anxiety kills my social calibration a bit (I say whatever the fuck is on my mind, like I'll use tactics from Girlschase but the problem is I don't really use them in the right order where I probably would if I was better socially calibrated). An example would be sexual framing before the deep dive, or being too aggressive in social circle game (which can help and has helped before but in this situation it was pretty... off). Keep in mind these are still my first 2 months using these tactics and I'm still really new at this too (I've gotten a fair amount of girls in the past but really had no idea what I was doing and was just following gut instinct as far as pulling/building emotional connections), so I still don't really know how to use them properly anyway.
Anyway, my mate Trey (who just got out of prison a couple days ago after doing almost a year and a half) hits me up and says we should go to some party and then pickup and bring some females back to his place, on the way there he says we should pickup my friend Jordan (since he's on the way). Now some background on these two is they both used to work for me when I was running nightclubs and raves (security/promotions etc.) I figure the two of them are a good balance since all three of us get a fair amount of women and the way it was before is Trey was more aggressive, direct and polarizing than me (he's got kind of the hood/thug image going on) and Jordan is a fair bit more "nice guy"/indirect (though ridiculously good looking and pulls girls by just standing there lol). I used to be a solid balance between the two of those (more direct than Jordan and less aggressive than Trey), though since reading GC my tactics have changed quite a bit (in my favor though I'm still learning how to apply what I've learned here).
The Field Report Itself:
So Trey and I arrive at Jordan's and we find out the party is cancelled or something like that, Jordan is facetiming two girls (one of them super interested in him and wanting to drive like 2 hours to seem him), we decide they will be our targets tonight. Trey has to get back home by curfew as he's on parole, so we decide to have the girls drive out and meet us at Trey's place and just hangout there so he has his chance with one (since he just got out of the joint I tell him we'll swing things in his favor, since he hasn't had pussy in almost a year and a half). I drive the boys back to Trey's and he has this sweet apartment type basement (that he lives in seperated from his parents), however because we're a bit late for curfew his stepdad freaks and he has to go finesse our way to use the pad, he tells us to wait at the QFC down the road for the girls and he'll call us when we can come over.
Jordan and I go to the QFC and wait, I see a blue true pull in and the girl that's interested in him (Carla) calls him and tells him she's there. Jordan has zero concept of how to pull properly so I say we should just go join the girl's in their car, we walk over to the truck and start chatting with the girls. Carla's friend (who is named Aela) introduces herself and I find out she's 17 and Carla is 16 (the laws in my state are fine with this, age of consent here is 16, though I try to avoid pursuing girls under 18, but hey they're here and there's no other prospects tonight). I ask if we can sit in Aela's truck since it's cold, she says "sure" and Jordan and I get in. Right away I start dominating the conversation (probably a mistake), I also started using Kino a bit too fast (I just touched her shoulder but... when she pulled out a picture of her cat I leaned over and said "I love cats
" and she literally JUMPED and basically thought I was talking about pussy instead of kittens, I swear I was actually talking about kittens, she also mentioned that she didn't "know me like that and I was touching her, so an obvious misstep on my part) and I think I creeped Aela out (which already sets the wrong tone), I used sexual framing completely wrong here too somewhere in the "getting to know them part" by saying "you're not a virgin are you"? The context seemed right to me (and Jordan too by what we were talking about at the time, it seemed teasing, but she mentioned it was odd). I noticed her getting a lot more sarcastic with me by the second and not in a good way! I try to reframe and fix the situation, she also mentioned she thought I was like 30 when we first get in the car and was like "who is this old creeper getting in my car?" Needless to say the convo does not go well and I say "Well shit, if you're just gonna be rude to me I don't want to talk to you anymore" (something along those lines but in a teasing, playful way, which she still did not respond too very well). Trey calls and the way I start to see this night is gonna go REALLY wrong is when she starts talking to him (idk what he asked) but she replied "yes I need saving!!!" (didn't say anything else about me but I could tell this was about me completely), she also mentions "his voice was fucking hot" (perhaps another way of getting away from me and my creepiness and conveying her discomfort?)
I'm not happy with the reaction from that call (though I don't show it with body language, and completely understand that this IS MY FAULT, and I shouldn't have creeped her out like that), I also say point blank that I'm not talking to her anymore. So basically now that we can go over to Trey's I just stop giving two shits about her and start kind of being a prick (I know not a good reaction, no idea what I was thinking). The way I was being a prick was by walking really slow (since they had no idea where they were going, and it was really cold outside so they were trying to move fast), I literally told Jordan "They could get lost since they don't know where they're going" and we start laughing at them (I think this was a defensive response to being shut out, even though again this was my fault and I totally get that). Don't remember exactly how we got on the topic but I think I said something like "I can't tell if you're just a really sarcastic person of if you actually don't like me" to Aela and Carla starts talking about how I "shouldn't piss Aela off, because then she'll (Carla) get pissed off" (obviously I'm not afraid of 17 year old girls but the point is I'm literally just making the situation worse at this point). I stop talking to them and only talk to Jordan on the 10 minute or so walk to Trey's, ignoring them whenever they say something to me.
We finally get close and are trying to find the exact residence when the girls point out a creepy lookin fellow in a hood walking towards us, as I'm the biggest and most muscular of the group they both start gravitating towards me and I (still being bitter and pissed off) say "OH NOW YOU WANT TO COME AND BE GOOD WITH ME HUH??", Aela mentions that her and Carla were molested a couple of days before at a party in their area, once I hear that I immediately feel bad and stop being an asshole and say "Hey I'm really sorry that happened to you..." They look at me with somewhat different expressions on their faces (softer than the sarcastic one's I was getting earlier). The guy in the hoody actually turns out to be Trey, who's phone died and was coming to meet us to make sure we made it in ok. Once he walks up he offers me a cigarette and I go back to the earlier conversation about the molesation and say "Hey I'm really sorry for being an asshole earlier, I didn't mean to come off like that" (at this point I know nothing is gonna happen so I start behaving in a much more platonic way and it seems to cool things down tension wise, and no not sexual tension just bad vibes). I figure I already fucked up so... I should just watch the social dynamics, help Trey get laid and seek to not come off as creepy next time.
We head inside and the girls are giggling and talking to each other, it's super dark so I talk about how a serial killer with a hockey mask might get us (in a teasing laughing way) and it seems to defuse the tension more and both Aela and Carla seem to be a little more friendly to me. We finally get inside and I immdediatly go sit on the couch by myself, Aela comes and sits next to me (and tries to tell Carla to go sit next to Jordan, though Carla says she wants to sit on top of Aela; so both girls end up sitting next to me touching me with their arms (so I assume we're good tension wise and just leave it at basically platonic gestures from now on), Jordan sits next to me and Trey sits on the rocking chair.
Nothing much interesting happens in the next 30 minutes or so, I can tell Trey is trying to alpha dog me a bit (but his attempts are laughable and I refute any of his comments and throw them back in his face) we banter and I know he's just trying to get laid (and seem more alpha in the group) so it doesn't offend me in the slightest and I actually start thinking this could be a chill night (another learning experience under my belt). Anyway Carla goes and sits next to Jordan and me and Aela chat a little bit, everyone in the group is telling jokes and things are seeming pretty chill (though I probably made some more douchey overtly cocky remarks as I always do), I catch this though and try to use some self deprecating humor, when Trey tries to Alpha dog me about having an Indian accent (I was born in Texas lol, zero accent other than an American one), I actually roll with it and try to at least make myself not seem as douchey (as Aela is trying to get me to do it, and I'm trying to not seem like a prick to her). Again things seem to be really chill at this point, so I decide to help Trey out (since I know he's smart and will grab my seat next to Aela when I go to the restroom), needless to say as soon as I get up to go he hops up and takes my spot saying "trackrunner you got spot jacked!" (I really wanted to say "I know dumbass that's what I was going for", but I don't and I go to the restroom).
Anyway... Here's where things start going more off, you can hear everything being said in the living room in the bathroom just by somewhat listening (though they didn't think I could hear them), I hear Aela say something along the lines of: "Your friend comes off really fucking strong", and "I was being nice right now but see what happens if he pisses me off" (something like that anyway) I don't remember what else they said exactly but her and Carla were basically talking some shit (I wish I'd paid more attention but my mind was going a little red at that point and this Phenibut makes it hard to remember everything in a situation), they did say a shit ton about me (and none of it good) they never said I was outright creepy but more stuff along the lines of "That guy is so fucking cocky/he's a dick etc." I was pissed but held my temper (THANK YOU PHENIBUT!!!), I came out of the bathroom and they just started talking about normal stuff, I sit in the rocking chair like nothing is wrong, I notice Aela looking at me and she says something but I completely ignore her (I think I also gave her a "cold stare" when I came out of the bathroom). I say something along the lines of "You know it's interesting how one can hear everything being said in the living room while in the bathroom..." I didn't say it weak at all either I stared directly at both girls coldly. Aela covers her face immediatly and her and Carla give each other a look (my boys had laughed along with them but I wouldn't blame them even if they had talked shit, doesn't matter they're doing what they need to do to get laid).
Everyone just gets dead fucking silent, so I break the tension (to help my boys of course) by saying "I SURE DO LOVE MAKING THINGS AWKWARD
", Aela sees this as tension breaking and apologizes to me for not being more upfront and saying it to my face, also saying "she would have said it by the end of the night", I just say I'm not like normal people and don't get butthurt or care what people think of me. Interestingly enough she says this statement (which is conclusionary of what I need to massively change) "Look at you, even the way you sit, it's like you're higher than the rest of us; like you're better than everyone else, the way you walk (she said I walked like a pimp earlier lol WTF?), the way you talk..." I simply say this is who I am and I'm not interested in changing for anyone. Anyway rest of the night isn't all that interesting, it doesn't seem to go anywhere for Trey and Aela, even Jordan and Carla aren't being that flirty. Trey puts on some music and they're watching videos (not intentionally excluding me but there's only so much room on the couch, the guys are still talking to me of course, and Carla too though I don't address her as much), Trey texts me a couple times apologizing for Aela's behavior because they can see while I'm still talkative and chill I'm irritated at the least (though let's be real this was my issue, not the girls) I figure at this point it would be better for the vibes of the room if I took off; so Trey and Jordan could do what they needed to do and I could write this field report up and get some advice from Girlschase. I grab my jacket from under Carla when I get back from the bathroom again and Trey says: "Yo I was just telling the girls that you pulled some Indian magic and teleported outta here or some shit g
", I simply say "Yup, you know me bruh magical as fuck ", I do the shake hands/hugs with the boys and don't bother even addressing farewells with Aela and Carla.As I head out I listen to hear anymore shit talking about me, there is nothing so I jet out and head home. Interestingly enough as I was typing this up Trey texted me, I asked him if the girls had said anything else "asking him to be honest as it was feedback for my game and I don't give a fuck or get butthurt", he says "Nah bruh, Aela actually felt really fuckin bad when you left", I don't bother asking for clarification or more details as this was simply a learning experience.
Thoughts on this night:
So... I know I did a few things wrong (more than a few actually), Kino needs to stop, completely for awhile until I get better at recognizing when I can use it and when I can't. I need to better recognize whether I'm in social circle or I'm in cold approach game and work on my environmental calibration. Also gotta stop being a dickhead and letting bad situations affect me and get me to be bitter and make situations worse.
If anyone can point out more errors (which I'm sure there are many) I would be very appreciative. I want to get better, I want to not be bitter and have REAL success with women (not the fake success I used to think was real when I had massive social power) or even with online pulls! I want to get better at doing this in person, social circle and cold approaching; to become a real man and never have to fear being alone again! I don't want to end up like Elliot Rodgers, hating women because I don't understand them and can't get anywhere with them.
I will get there, no matter how long it takes, no matter how painful the journey; I will get there. (and it is MASSIVELY fucking painful on the ego haha, Phenibut makes it so I can't feel it as much but it was rough for awhile before I started using this stuff and working on training my emotional armor and mind to not get affected).
