Date Plans Confused about where to go after sex

[Beam]

Hi guys, so this site really tries to hit home the point about being able to make her your girlfriend after one date, but I'm confused as to what you're actually supposed to do/ the time frame you should do it in after sleeping with her on the first date.

If you did sleep with her and you're trying to get her out again, what does the next date look like and when should it be? Obviously you need to sleep with her a few more times first, but do you just keep doing the same "go out for drinks and then back to mine" again and again? What time frame should you be trying to do this in - like, should you aim to sleep with her three times in three weeks at maximum, but less than that would be ideal? How do you make sure things don’t get repetitive? At what point do you start doing dinners and movies and road trips? I'm guessing only after you've slept with her a couple of times but again, seems weird only going to a movie after doing "bar - my house, bar - my house, bar - my house" over and over again.

Also, if you deep dived really well on the first date, I'm not really sure what to even talk about on the following dates. Do you just keep checking up on her goals and what she has been working towards? Or do you try to just dig deeper and deeper and deeper into what she has told you already over the last few dates?

Along similar lines, if you got her back to yours and failed to bed her (whether it be on the first or third date) what next? Do you do drinks near yours and then try again? How do you make it come across like you only want sex when you’re doing this? I’m in this situation right now – went on three dates with a girl, got her back to my place and failed to bed her – she hasn’t responded to my text and I want to suggest what to do, but I genuinely don’t know what to do.

I apologize for the barrage of questions - this is just a huge gap in my understanding and I can't quite articulate it very well.

 

[SirSouth]

I would suggest meeting more girls and then invite her to your place after a week or two. If she's comfortable and likes you she will probably come, but your mindset needs to broaden to meeting more girls. If she doesn't text back radio silence for a day and then call her and ask how's she's been and bond a bit. Then suggest you guys see each other. Then logistics via text... Let her breath and meet more girls to lower anxiety and try again. You met more women. There's nothing to lose

 

[Derek da man]

I think it depends if you're looking to move her to being a "girlfriend", FWB or FB as they all need a slight variations. If you're looking a girlfriend material then ask her how her week/day has been and ask questions about what she tells you. It may only be that her office colleague has done x, y or z but it's about you listening and responding appropriately.

Date wise should depend on what you both enjoy doing for entertainment. Movie, bar, dance club, netflix, boxsets, computer games, walk in the park/countryside, weekend road trip, and so on, all really depend on you as individuals.

My personal approach is:
First date/pull - drinks in a bar
Second date - meet up in either a coffee shop/bistro or something casual for a bite to eat or a snack such as a lunch sandwich in the park
Third date - as second or a meal somewhere
from here on it's down to you choice as a couple. I always like the swapping approach where one time you set the date up and then next time she has to set the date up. It balances the realtionship and makes her invest a little thought effort too.

I see this as a sliding scale with a first date/night pull at one end of the spectrum and girlfriend at the other with FWB and FB somewhere along the spectrum in between those points. With a FB you may only ever pop round each others place for a coffee, chat and fuck; you may not even bother with the first 2.

Just my opinion.

 

[Fuck This]

You are only headed down the gf pathway if she is responding rapidly and or initiating contact after you both have sex together the first time. You can up this by spending the night together, fixing her breakfast in the morning, morning sex and cuddling. I can't emphasize this enough. You want to stimulate Oxytocin release to make her bond to you .

If you do this right, she will be sending you lovey dovey texts and phone calls. Make date plans where you have logistics to have sex again during or after. Dinner at your place or her place usually works.

There was a time I met a woman at a hotel I was staying at on the first night. Spent two nights sleeping in her room with her and when I left on the third day, she texted me asking me to stay another night with her as I was on the road for home that 3rd night.

There are articles out there about good texts to send after sex. Read those.