Calls & Texts Confusing women

[Godsninja]

It has come to my attention that during text conversations, I am "confusing' women.

I was just texting a girl I met at the campus bar a few weeks ago. We run into each other on occasion, and she seems generally pretty warm to me. I ran into her in the hallways today and she had to catch up to her friends on her scooter.

She later texted me and here's how the convo went, quotes might not be exact:

saying she wasn't ditching me, she just had to catch up to her friends. I said it was ok, and that I know she has a lot of guy friends, but I would like to go out with her some day

Her:"I didnt ditch u btw, my friends were walking fast lol"
Me:"Aww, I know and thats ok"
Her:"Haha ok"
Me:"I know u alrdy got alot of guys in ur life, but -#Her Full Name#-, I would like to go out with u some day
Her:"i have a girlfriend to [tho]"
Me: "sounds awesome she can come too"
H:"hahaha she gets jealous"
Me:"well id have to meet her first, but id be sure to give her special treatment"
H: "she also has a boyfriend haha"
Me:"Ok well im texting u not her "
H:"I'm just kidding, she is dating my roomie and is a good friend "
M: "I can already tell im gonna like u bahahah"
H:"hahaha"
M:"but now u know that so im gona have to watch out around u "
H:"How so lol"
M:"U might try to take advantage of the situation, that wheelchair aint foolin me" [ment to say scooter]
H:"What lol".

At that point I thought she was just seeing what I'd say, so I thought I'd do some sort of push pull.

Me: "Nothin"
Her: "Ok lol im so confused"

I didn't reply.
So, what the fuck? Am I just a terrible texter? I read up on it, I've had a lot of practise lately, and I'm saying what feels natural and right. I don't feel like I'm being confusing at all, but this kinda crap just makes me feel so disconnected from them.

 

[Thedoctor]

Godsninja,

Gonna be blunt here, I was having trouble following what you meant and you were explaining it, particularly the wheelchair part. It's extremely hard to convey tone through text. It's also difficult to flirt and refer to quick events that have happened a long time prior to the text (for instance, your reference to the scooter). Always re-read every text from an outsider's perspective before you send. If you're gonna use a reference make it easy to understand and relate back to it:

ie. You might try to take advantage of me, then make a getaway on your wheels like you did earlier

Wheels is better reference point than calling the scooter a wheelchair, which is confusing and too big a jump. I've also limited using certain expressions and "fancier" wording. Text a girl as though English is not her first language, because for all you know it may not be! English was my second language and it's pretty difficult learning some of the expressions and words. Some peoples' English isn't very good and some don't communicate using words like "nuance" (Yes, I had to google that word the first time I read it on this site ). In doing so, it's never that you're implying the recipient is dumb, it's just so you can convey 100% of what you mean. Once you get in person, and you feel the fancier words are more apt, then by all means use them. Because in person, you can eliminate any confusion. Via text, she might just feel dumb and not respond.

And if anyone is currently googling "nuance" or "apt", you understand what I mean. Ha!

-Doc

 

[Godsninja]

Thanks doctor!

I'm glad someone got back to me! I had a feeling it had something to do with what you said. It's definitely hard to convey tone through text, especially when the text isn't worded properly. I'm going to make sure that in the future I re-read my texts more often. I've started saving txts in my drafts just because I've been so busy and don't feel like I have the time to just sit and stare at my texts, wondering if it makes sense

But ya, now I know that I just need to look at it from an outsiders point of view, and/or someone with poor(er) English. I've never considered myself that smart, but I guess I HAVE been doing my homework on things for quite a while now, so my vocabulary is probably a lot better than most peoples. I just hate using simple words sometimes! Blah.

Anyways, thank you!