Congruency issue

[SillyCarl]

So this has been happening quite frequently and it's something that's hurting not only my game but my ability to keep around high quality friends in my life.

I've been meaning to post this for quite some time but haven't had the words to explain precisely what the problem is, but I'm going to put it out for you guys anyway hopefully you guys can help me out.

Thanks to girlschase I've upped my fundementals exponentially, I've gained a lot of muscle this past year, my face looks tremendously better than it used to thanks to Darius B as well as my fashion sense. My problem is I'm not at the level where my fundementals are yet, I still lack the social skills and the overall vibe of a Alpha. It's to the point where I know I can get girls if I just keep practicing at it, my problem is with Alpha males and quality male friends in general. It's as if males expect something of me, I met this guy at the gym an alpha male, I could tell as he looked well off and his girlfriend was stunning but when I was in conversation with him I fucked up somewhere know it just feels weird when we see each other. I just don't know how to Act like an Alpha in social situations, things like how to behave, how to talk. I'm ranting a little I know but this a major problem as getting girls is great but a great group of quality friends is necessary for me, as I've dumbed my current friends cause all I could feel was jealousy and envy from them when I started improving. Anyone know any solutions to this problem?

SillyCarl

 

[Bboy100]

Ok, so if your problem really is a lack of social skills, then there's really only one solution...go practice. That means put yourself in as many social situations as you possibly can. Weather that be through cold approach, your job, your social circle, your school...doesn't matter. Just talk to people.

Having said that, I don't think that's actually your problem. Based on how you wrote your post, the issue is that you think you have to behave a certain way (which you dub "being alpha") in order to be socially attractive to people. This is causing you to get stuck in your head and to overanalyze everything you do, causing you to behave awkwardly due to the anxiety this over analysis causes. Here's the solution:

1. Dump everything you know about "being alpha". Instead, just allow yourself the freedom of expressing who you truly are. <---This is actually more "alpha" than anything else. Because by expressing who you truly are instead of putting monitoring and adjusting your actions, you're telling other people that you don't care weather or not they accept or reject you. Whereas if you change your actions to fit the mold of what you think it means to be "alpha", you're actually coming off as beta because you're more invested in how other people perceive you than you are in what you value and believe (because if you express your true self, you're actually expressing what you value and what you believe). This mindset will also alleviate anxiety because you'll no longer have a checklist of things you need to do in conversation. I hope all of this makes sense the way I wrote it haha.

Don't believe me? Take a look at the authors on this website. Notice how they all have different personalities and styles. They're all "alpha" and yet, they behave completely differently. How can this be? Its because they're expressing their true selves. Whatever that might happen to be.

2. Practice mindfulness. Weather its meditation or something else, it will help to become more present minded which is something you desperately need if you hope to ever be congruent.