Connecting With Family-Oriented Girls

[BarryS1]

I’ve encountered a problem when trying to connect with family-oriented girls upon first meeting. Somehow, I create the impression of someone who is passionate and adventurous, but doesn’t have strong family ties. In other words, I am an extremely independent person having difficulty connecting with family-oriented girls. I have gotten claims on the following lines:

• -I haven’t heard you mention your family yet. Are you close with them?
  
  -Wow you are really busy, you must be super independent. Do not see your family much?

I am getting this initial reaction from girls of middle-eastern, latin, and some white descent. Upon first meeting them, the girls always bring up family and their importance. The claim comes after relating to the girl on lifestyle topics such as career, education, and sporting activities.

My reaction is to cut the string and start talking about something else because family is a delicate topic for me. A little about myself, I am 22 and living at home with my two parents and younger brother. I have a small Caucasian family with 2 uncles and no cousins. I have a healthy family relationship, but there’s nothing exciting enough to connect with on a date. For example, I go deer hunting with my Dad and brother several times a year – something the desired demographic girls wouldn’t understand.

I am thinking family ties fall under prosocial behavior.

How can I connect to a girl with a big family when I don’t have one?

 

[Richard]

Barry - something I picked up a little over a year ago on the matter.

Girls who mention family and have strong family ties don't necessarily want you to have strong family ties like hers - but she is showing you that she wants love, compassion, and someone to be there for her --- she's looking for a boyfriend not a fling.

If they bring up your family then simply tell them what you just said: that your family isn't super huge, but you guys are close. It doesn't have to be exciting and mysterious for these types of girls, it just has to be true

-Richard

 

[BarryS1]

Thanks Zphix! I thought bringing up family ties was a cultural thing, but it seems they are screening for a boyfriend. I'll keep this in mind.

I've been going to cultural events during the daytime to meet ethnic girls and this seems to pop up all the time. Maybe it's the locations I go to. I'll trying meeting ethnic girls in a different place like a salsa dancing club and see if the same question pops up.

Those ethnic girls