Conversation with teens - To deep dive or not to deep dive?

[Bete Noire]

Hey GC!

I've finally been able to destroy AA and find it significantly easier to enter into cheeky conversations with girls and due to solely focussing on fundamentals for the last couple of months, I get generally warm responses!

My next comfort zone rupture though is this lil' thing called conversation! Sometimes I feel on fire with loads of things to ask, thread cutting and amplifying like I'm some DJ at Tommorrowland, whilst others I am so in my own head thinking of something interesting to ask them!

For example I was at a surprise party the other day with a bunch of 17-19 year olds, I met some lovely lass called Bella and isolated her outside - one string of conversation went like this:

"So how're you finding **** school, it must be wayyy different to a boarding environment?"

"Yeah it is! Not so bad though, I mean it's where I met [Hostess of the party] after all!"

- I panicked for conversation so thread cut the hostesses name! ahaha it feels so dumb to even type it </3

"So how'd you and [Hostess] meet then?"

Followed by a lil' awkward silence where I laugh jokingly so show how silly a question it was and thus broke the spell a lil' :#

I'm hoping to get out of my own head and possibly get some advice on whether to deep dive or not - you see I heard a conversation my mate had with her and it was really light hearted and funny:

*Talking about Marvel* 'So who's your favorite super hero then?'

She replies, 'It has to be Spiderman!'

'No way! Come on girl, anyone can get bit by a spider, Iron Man is wayyy cooler!'

Would keeping conversation super light like this be good for quick hookups/ one night stands? I think I remember Richard possibly saying something about there being no need to deep dive younger lasses?

All advice appreciated, I'm loving the journey so far!

- Rob

 

[Lover]

This

"So how're you finding **** school, it must be wayyy different to a boarding environment?"
"Yeah it is! Not so bad though, I mean it's where I met [Hostess of the party] after all!"

And this

*Talking about Marvel* 'So who's your favorite super hero then?'
She replies, 'It has to be Spiderman!'
'No way! Come on girl, anyone can get bit by a spider, Iron Man is wayyy cooler!

Notice in both conversations how you ask "closed" questions. By close question you get a simple answer or a fact.

"How do you like school?" Good/bad
"Who's your favorite super hero?" Superman, Spiderman, etc.
"What's your work place like?" Okay/it sucks

See how simple answers these questions get? Don't get me wrong, they are okay for small talking, but if you really want to know them lasses and make them feel that you have an emotional connection, you must ask open questions. These are the ones that provide long answers and usually break girls out of autopilot. But you can use close questions to lead the conversations towards open questions.

I gave your topics a little thought, and to some degree you can actually deep dive girls with them.

In the first conversation with Bella, you could have asked a few other things

Examples of deep diving questions to Bella

"What'd ya like about [her new school]?" (I like this because of that, but these other things are also great)

"Why did you choose [her new school] instead of some other?" (it's closer, I couldn't stand living far away from home/it's one of the best schools of course/I needed to get away from [her home town])

"How does [her new school] differ from the boarding environment?" (with this question, you can find out what factors in a school she values most and deep dive further - "aaah so you're the kind of girl that think [random factor] is important in a school. Is it because of [reason X]?" ---> the [random factor] could be the possibility of creating a social circle and create a very deep bond with the other students in boarding school, while this could be more difficult in her new school)

In any case you get an idea which factors she values most in regard to each question.

The best topic to engage in when you're talking about school is their expected major. But this is where deep diving teens can get a little difficult. In my experience most teens don't know what major to engage in, but this should also give you a clue whether they take a certain course because they want to (they are ambitious people), or because that is the only way they know of (they are following mainstream advice). If they can't give you an honest answer, cut the thread and move on to something else.

In second conversation about Marvel heroes, I saw a possibility to tease her and deep dive

Rob: So who's your favorite super hero then?'
Spidergirl: It has to be Spiderman!
Rob: (with a playful voice, waiting a second or two before answering) I would jump down the Eiffel Tower rather than being a Spiderman fan
Spidergirl: (laughs) OMG
Rob: (mischievous smile) GIRL! Why Spiderman?
Spidergirl: because he has [mention all his awesome abilities] and he could fly 'round the Eiffel Tower with his web!
Rob: So you wished you could [all his awesome abilities]?
Spidergirl: Yeah! Who wouldn't? Who's your favorite super hero anyway?

So what do you deduce from this conversation? She's probably adventorous, or she probably likes Spiderman a lot. Tease her that it's funny to meet a woman with no arachnophobia

The idea behind deep diving is understanding her motivations and reasons for the choices she makes and what she likes. Most guys judge women based on what activities she does, e.g. she plays soccer --> she's a keeper (no, not goal keeper ), but they don't care WHY she does them. WHY does she play soccer? To truly understanding any woman, you must understand her reasons (even if you don't understand her, she will feel that you do because you know a side of her that many guys don't get to explore). Once you get the hang of it, deep diving is one of your strongest verbal weapons because it separates you from most guys, but it can also lead to great conversations!

Hope this clarifies some stuff for ya lad glad to hear you got over your AA! Still struggling with it daygame

 

[Bete Noire]

A-jay you are the man! It makes so much more sense to me why the answers to those questions didnt lead to much else and that i couldnt deep dive well as a result ^^ That spiderman stuff is so funny too - i'm gonna have to steal that 'Jump off the Eiffel Tower' thing!

So for future convos with the ladies:

- Ask open ended questions for more details from her,

- Find out their reasons for the fun and adventorous stuff they do,

- Cut threads with lasses who can't give deeper answers and find more cheeky topics!

At college i rarely get wifi so replied late as a result <\3 Thanks for the advice!