Coronavirus & I Am Leaving The Dating Scene

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
I have been thinking for days now whether I should make this post or not. And so now I have made that decision, it will be a hard pill for me to swallow per se. I decided to let my emotions cool off a bit before sitting down now. To make a long story short

I am strongly considering to delete every girl out of my life who has not contacted me in the last 30 days on her own free will and I am also considering to just forget about dating any new girls until I get my life in order.

I am not writing this to seek a pity party or any advice per se. I just wanted to put my thoughts in writing so in the future I can come back and remember vividly why I made this difficult decision.

I am 24 years old now (Birthday was April 6) and up to this point I don't feel I have achieved anything of remote success in my life and as such I had to take a step back and figure out 2 things:

1. What do I want out of life?
2. What is the #1 thing I need to do at this moment to get what I want out of life?

I made a post recently which I got some great feedback from all the guys https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/the-right-time-to-go-on-a-date-after-quarantine.22942/

And I made mention I wanted 3 things:

1. My own apartment
2. A car
3. A sweet girlfriend

At the current moment nothing in my life is going as I planned and all my efforts to improve, the results are mediocre at best. When I look back at my life the #1 problem that has caused 90% of my problems has been a lack of financial resources. I will break down in categories how being very poor from age 0 - 24 has negatively affected my life.

Health

After making that last post in May, I ended up in the hospital to be treated for major depression and I almost died to be honest. The cause for my major mental breakdown was a lack of a supportive environment for my goals and dreams. I live in a dysfunctional family. My parents and siblings fight around the clock, even at 9:00pm - 1:00am on previous occasions there has been fights in my home (I was never directly involved, I only heard the noise in the house and I ran to look what was happening. The police has been at my home to part fights between my family members at least 20 times in the past 24 months alone.

Where was I that entire time these arguments and fights played out in my household?

I was usually locked away in my bedroom working on improving myself. I have transformed my room into my sleeping area, home office, gym, eating area. My family is do dynfunctional, I dont even say good morning to most of my family members and vice versa. I am working to improve myself and they are busy fighting day and night.

My health has suffered greatly over the past 20 years + because of:

1. Family constantly fighting
2. Me constantly feeling helpless
3. My neighbors hating the family because of how much they fight, also hating me
4. Lack of sufficient money means my diet has been very poor most of my life
5. Lack of fulfilling relationships due to the above reasons and me losing confidence in myself

Relationships

I have always been the odd kid in school. I recall going through basic, middle and high school always being singled out. I was always:

1. Bullied and scorned by the girls and boys
2. Never got picked for the sports teams
3. Was never artistic, funny or had any skills that made me "cool" to the other kids

I only had 1 girlfriend in high school and the relationship lasted for maybe 2 months, if so long. I was usually the guy walking home alone from school while everyone else in school had a group of friends or a girlfriend to walk with.

(this is a very summarized way of putting it)

And the negative environment at home only reinforced how I felt. I recall 1 instance I left school after the boys teased and bullied me and I would get home and see my extended family literally drawing knives at each other and treatening to kill each other.

I moved from one negative environment to another negative one. Growing up, because my family was so poor, I had nowhere to go and I had to put up with a lot of drama expecially during my high school years.

Fact of the matter, even though I was bullied in high school as well, I do recall there were quite a few girls who liked me, thought I was cute and a bit mysterious, and because of how much crap was going on in my life, I was usually lacking so much confidence I never did anything with these girls.

Which further reinforced the nonsense I told myself. I wanted to do more and it always seemed like more forces were against me than I could manage.

I left school in 2015 and since then I have been working low wage jobs ever since. From 2015 to now, most of the girls I have had sex with, I did so in public places because of all the crap that was going on in my home. And because of that, not even 1 girl I met from 2015 to now I have had sex with more than once, which is pretty fucked up to be honest. Despite my attempts to improve myself, girls would always ghost on me.

Happiness

Obviously everything I have written far, anyone reading it can see a whole bunch of negative happenings. I have struggled so much all my life I am honestly truly happy. Many times my desire to improve myself: reading books, going on dates, building my online business, and exercising have all been a "temporary happiness" booster in my life, but deep down I don't recall a whole lot of happiness in my life.

So some people reading this might be wondering a couple things:

1. Why did I take the time to talk about all the past shit in my life which has nothing to do with the present or future
2. How is writing this helping me
3. Why all this negative writing

The answer to those potential questions anyone reading may have is my simple answer:

I needed a place to vent and just feel comfortable for once in my life on how I feel about myself as a human being. I dont have any friend or other influence I can sit down with and just be real. I have been using "self improvement" talk for quite a few years now to bury how I really feel as a man. Yes self improvement is the only way I am going to overcome my past problems, and more importantly I realize I may have to spend a good deal of time learning to truly love myself. I dont know how I am going to do that, however at least I am aware and I will do my best to find a solution.

So back to the 2 most important questions, here are my answers:

1. What do I want out of life (for 2020) ?

Answer: a nice apartment, a nice car and a sweet girlfriend

2. What is the #1 thing I need to do at this moment to get what I want out of life?

Answer: I need to improve my finances first and foremost, it is hands down the #1 missing component which has slowed down a lot of my growth from age 18 - 24. Before age 18, I had zero control because I was too young to have a job. Now I am a man, money is the only solution I see to making a difference in my life, it is the stepping stone that will allow me to explore and bring other things into my life


Coronavirus Causing Me To Reflect

Now I now a lot of GC skilled seducers have mentioned their dating life has been affected. My dating life has gotten worse as well. No surprise there. At the beginning of the Coronavirus, I was dating 3 women, at the moment both women have pretty much ghosted me.

I have spent time texting and calling these women the past 2 months. I made previous posts about them. One of the girls I was getting along well with, she has a child and the past 3 weeks, she has pretty much been very avoidant via text and has not accepted any of my phone calls. So pretty much I deleted her phone number tonight and all texts from her, that way I do not continue to chase her.

The other girl I was dating, she was actually flat out stopped responding to my texts

I know, I know what you are thinking "next these girls and build abundance with women".

I could definitely do that and then I realized the thing missing from my life is a lack of direction and pretty much me not winning at anything in life is causing a domino effect. So how do I plan on stopping this domino effect?

Full Speed Ahead With My Business, Zero Time For Women

This is probably the weirdest and most uncomfortable thing I am saying in this post so far. I love sex and I love women but honestly there are too many variables in my life that are just fucked up.

I am 24 years old and I:

1. Still dont know how to drive, I am not taking a single dollar out of my pocket for any more dates until I get that damn drivers license and ultimately get a car
2. Still live with my family who is constanty fighting, if I had a better environment, dating, sex and money would come to me a lot easier
3. Still out of shape, I have made improvements if I got my money in check, I could afford to eat healthier. Yes I exercise but my diet is still not 100% right

Attempts Made From 2015 - 2020 To Improve

With all of what I wrote above, I have done my very best in the past to take action. Here are some of the positive action steps I have taken:

1. Launched my marketing agency back in 2017, I moved from not even knowing what Wordpress is, to now building a very beautiful website

2. I have invested in courses from 2017 - 2020 on sales, copywriting and online marketing and I am constantly pushing myself to get better. Some of the top guys in the industry: Dan Lok, Jason Capital, Grant Cardone, Jordan Belfort, Anik Singal, Fred Lam, John Crestani, and many other legendary mentors. I have basically taken my paychecks and put into self education. I truly hope one day it pays off

3. I went from working on my business all alone from 2017 - 2019, to now I successfully managed to close 3 business partners on a joint venture so we can all make money and scale the business to 6 or 7 figures.

4. I exercise daily between 5:00am - 7:00am and then I do exercise again for one addional hour in the evening or night. I started this back in February 2020.

5. Since February 2020 as well, I have been doing my best to cut out low calorie foods and eat as healthy as I possibly can despite me not having a lot of money.

6. I purchased every course on Girls Chase: How to text girls, Girls Chase Mastery, Hector book on dating in college, One Date

7. In did my best to go on a date occasionally from 2015 - 2019. Some months, especially in 2019 I did break this rule to work devotedly on my online business

Dan Bilzerian Lifestyle Talk

In order for me to write this post as clear as possible, I have to go back to Dan Bilzerian quote:

"The number one reason I have so many girls in my life is because of my setup"

He says those words and it rings so true in my life. If I get my life organized, girls, money and power will all come to me easier. Me not having a car, living with my parents in a dysfunctional home and being out of shape is not probably turning away girls from me more than I know it.

So for the rest of 2020, I will do my best to focus on my money. I will be doing my best to grow my client database. So I can setup my life with a nice house and a nice car. I will have a positve environment and I think girls will be more open to wanting to be a part of my life at that point in time.

I will be working on my business 12-16 hours a day again, until I get my money in order, I will do my best to stay the fuck away from women. I have had so many girls reject me in the past and I have lost a lot of attraction in women because I did not sleep with them fast enough. Yes public sex is fun, but it is very hard to find a place to have sex... a nice apartment and a car I think would greatly improve my dating life since I would have a consistent place to pull women for sex.

I have been debating a lot with myself, should I take a break from dating and trying to get sex. This is the most uncomfortable decision I have had to make in a long time. I think is the right one and until I become a boss on my way to the fucking bank, until I get my money and ducks in a row, I will be doing my best to stay the fuck away from women.

I will setup my life so girls want to be a part of it.
 
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LouisVuitton

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
24
If you need someone to talk to shoot me a dm. Things are difficult for everyone right now. I’m sorry you feel alone. Shoot me your number if you want and I’ll give you a call. We all go through hard times. The quarantine has really exacerbated it. Things will get better. It can be hard to believe at times. But time is like water and eventually everything will wash away.

I think the number one priority is getting your own place. If you have your own place you can have really cheap house dates. Only about half the girls who are willing to meet are unwilling to come straight over. But once you start going for house dates a lot of girls who want to meet in public will only require a single drink or even just a coffee to make sure you’re “not a cereal killer:”

Casual dating without spending much money isn’t difficult. You won’t have as many options. But there are a lot of very cheap dates. Be up front and let girls know you’re working on yourself and aren’t available for commitment. Girls don’t expect much from guys who are up front about that. The fact that your on your purpose is a turn on.
 
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YS.

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
179
Good luck Troy!

Beware of burnouts. Try to stabilize the hustle with one social and one health anchor. (A theatre class & a BJJ class for example.) So these would prevent a total collapse in those areas. Trust me, getting it back is really hard if you let it completely go.

I really wish someone gave me this advice. I basically hustled 12-20 hours a day for 3 years straight. The results on my health and social life were catastrophic. The funny thing is most of the 20 hours were never productive due to the residual effects of inaction in other areas. It's one of those less is more things. But I think you're gonna have to learn it with experience. But working out would give you a lot of mental and physical energy & clarity and socializing would give you great spiritual energy, focus and motivation.

Reach out if you need anything.
 

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
@LouisVuitton thanks for the support :) I agree with everything you say.

@YS. yes that is true. I have to be careful to not burn myself out. Sure I will reach out if I need anything.

P.s. I'm just recovering today from the sickness almost 2 weeks ago. Hence why it took me so long to get back to my own post. Again guys, you taking the time to read and reply means a lot to me. Right now I am extremely lonely, and I got to keep pushing forward. I have come too far on my ultimate journey to improve to stop now.

I dont have any girls in my life at the moment so I am doing my best to not go crazy from lack of sex. It's now 11:41PM and this weekend I will be running a 30-40 hours work schedule, both Saturday and Sunday so by Monday morning my business will be in a better place.

I will take a couple breaks, eat healthy and getting exercise so i dont physically or mentally hurt myself by the time Monday June 8 rolls around, I am good. I would make progress to achieving more of my goals.

And hopefully I can move out to a cheap place just as LouisVuitton suggested.

Thanks again guys. You replying is the only thing that made me smile all week :)
 
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trashKENNUT

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
6,553
Troy, Don't make pickup lifestyle the central to your happiness.

I can sense it. The inner happiness comes before it. :)
 

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
Troy, Don't make pickup lifestyle the central to your happiness.

I can sense it. The inner happiness comes before it. :)

I totally agree with not making pickup lifestyle my be all for happiness. I truly want to develop inner happiness and many times I have only theories on how to get that. I am still on a mission to know what gets me true inner happiness. I hope I figure out that soon.

A couple of my theories are:

1. Develop a sense of purpose in life: business, lifting weights
2. Get in a growth environment to start cultivating true happiness (my current environment would drive just about anyone into depression)

Those are my 2 biggest theories, I may be wrong about that or I may be right. Either way I will keep searching for the answer.
 

Toby2030

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Sep 1, 2019
Messages
312
Focus on the now and the future, and forget about your past. Everybody have their problems but we won't benefit from focusing on them.
Work on goal setting. You have your overall goals right now, but you have to get more specific about how you will reach them.

Driving license - How fast will you get it? How will you be able to afford it? Create a bank account, and throw xxx amount of money on a closed account each month.

Apartment - How fast will you get it? How will you be able to afford it? Create a bank account, and throw xxx amount of money on a closed account each month.

Online business - I run a online marketing business myself. Which services do you provide? How much do you charge per customer? If you don't earn enough money to reach your other goals, you should consider getting another job. Online marketing might be your drive in life, but you'll have to prioritize differently until you can use it as your main income.

Girlfriend - no matter how many courses you buy, you will not see any results if you don't take action. You are what I would call a product junkie. Pick the one product that you already have that you resonate the most with, and start following only that course. At the same time, you should start a journal on here so we can give you advice throughout your journey. Commit yourself to approach xx amount of girls a week.

Create a structure around your life. You'll feel a lot more in control, and a better feeling of being on your purpose, which will benefit your depression.
 

Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,465
Location
NYC
I think that one point that's really worth mentioning here that no one else has is:

To be successful IN BOTH women and business, you ONLY focus on Earning Money and Business Building, or you ONLY focus on Getting Your Women Goals and Getting a Girlfriend, at once. Do ONE THING AT A TIME.

Unfortunately, you cannot do both at once. VERY IMPORTANT TO REALIZE THIS AND ACCEPT THIS LIMITATION (actually I think your entire post is you realizing this organically, lol)! Many people have tried to do both at once and they cannot - it's unfortunately not possible because either avenue you choose will be one of the most difficult and time consuming things you do in your life. To get good at either one needs your 100% full time dedicated focus until you're actually good. Yet, you need both to truly be happy - but you have to focus on one or the other first, and then once you've got one element figured out, you shift your focus to the next while the other is stable and healthy.


Does this make sense, OP?

What I read is you are trying to do two things at once over the last few years - get better at women, AND build your business to a financial success. And you've been failing at both and wondering why this is, and feeling the burn out. It's because you're splitting your time.

In this sense I completely agree with your new strategy - you're saying prioritize business, and stall women. That's perfectly fine - do it! I think it will work, and give yourself 1-2 years to really get stable and then once you've got a nice solid income stream and stable lifestyle, build the women up again. Then you'll have to shift 100% of your spare energy to getting a girlfriend.

Most business owners, in their period of hard work to make that payoff, are either in a very stable LTR, or they're completely celibate and use their sex drive to transmute their energy into their work.

But it's really the same if your goal is with women - people here dedicate many nights, hours, lots of time to learning and executing the game, and all of that time and focus could have been applied to the business building side if you chose, but here getting the women goals in order is more important and satisfying. Thus you see that many successful PUAs are either very broke, or they have very basic and low-to-moderate income jobs.

To be clear, either path is fine - you can also try to focus on getting a stable LTR first if you want - I just want to make it clear that I have not heard of a single person succeed trying to do both elite business building and elite game learning at once, and many have tried.
 
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Starboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 2, 2018
Messages
485
@Troy I read your post and the way you described your childhood and your teenage years it was like I was reading my own story. I grew up poor in a asian muslim household my family was too frugal with their money didn't want to give me money to buy food,new clothes,shoes, any kind of accessories. I literally wore the same few sweaters and pants I had every week and I always looked in the mirror feeling insecure. Kids bullied and roasted me mercilessly in middle school on a daily basis and in high school it wasn't as bad or frequent,but I still wasn't respected that much by my peers . Even my muslim friends didn't respect me and treated me like a loser. There was no way I could've pulled any girls with the way that I looked. Although looking back I can think of some girls who may have liked me or given me a chance despite all my flaws if I only was able to present myself better. All across the board I was loser in grade school whose dad wouldn't even give him money for a proper haircut. All he stressed was taking school seriously and comparing me to my cousins which he still does. My oldest brother has mental problems and became a burden to my family and still is. I grew up with low self esteem because I looked like shit and had such a shitty upbringing and recieved no support from my parents. All they cared about was I did whatever they wanted which is how muslim culture raises their children. Other kids I knew had similiar experiences with their parents. I had no power, I couldn't get a job my parents ruled over me and dictated everything I could do.

College was better for me and I got jobs and earned money,but I was so behind in socializing I had to play catchup and I had so much ground to makeup. I had to learn how to talk to girls,how to behave normally around them,what not to do around them. Basic shit that I could've learned in high school,but was so messed up that there was so way it was happening. My self esteem improved and I didn't struggle as much as I did when I was younger,but I still didn't know how to get girls.

Even after I discovered this site it was still hard for me to pull any girls because of how bad my social instincts were. That's part of the reason why i'm still a virgin to this day. Even now there are things. I don't even like sharing that about myself because of the image people have in their head about what it takes for a guy to be a virgin in his twenties. I could've approached women after I graduated from college and even before and had a lot of time to do so before the pandemic,but I had too many mental blocks and and couldn't overcome them. Now it's gonna be a while for those same opportunities to come back.

I wanted to share my story for the same reason that you did which was to vent your frustrations and to show you that you aren't the only one who had the experiences you had. I know nobody gives a shit about what I had to deal with and I didn't even share my full story. At least you're not a incel and a failure like me so if you did put women on hold to improves your finances that's totally fine and there's nothing wrong with it. You don't have to prove anything to anybody.I know getting pussy and having female company is nice,but it won't solve all your issues. You should prioritize getting money so you can have freedom and independence. Those will do much more for you then having godlike game.Those things you wanted for 2020 those are things I wish for myself too. A nice apartment and a sweet loving beautiful gf(a car not so much cuz idk how to drive). Best of luck to you man and hope you reach your goals.
 
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Grand Pooba

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 6, 2012
Messages
1,465
Location
NYC
One more quick note @Troy - if you want something to visualize in a positive way about your choice, just visualize it like this:

2020 has become a really shitty and tough year for dating because of COVID-19, and who knows when it will go away, but I'm confident that girls will want to go out in droves in Spring 2021, around March or April into the entire Summer. I'm going to focus on getting my life together between now and March 2021, and forget about women until then, so I can take advantage of the come-back next year and enjoy my new life with women!
 
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Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
@DML

Focus on the now and the future, and forget about your past. Everybody have their problems but we won't benefit from focusing on them.
Work on goal setting. You have your overall goals right now, but you have to get more specific about how you will reach them.

Driving license - How fast will you get it? How will you be able to afford it? Create a bank account, and throw xxx amount of money on a closed account each month.

Apartment - How fast will you get it? How will you be able to afford it? Create a bank account, and throw xxx amount of money on a closed account each month.

Online business - I run a online marketing business myself. Which services do you provide? How much do you charge per customer? If you don't earn enough money to reach your other goals, you should consider getting another job. Online marketing might be your drive in life, but you'll have to prioritize differently until you can use it as your main income.

Girlfriend - no matter how many courses you buy, you will not see any results if you don't take action. You are what I would call a product junkie. Pick the one product that you already have that you resonate the most with, and start following only that course. At the same time, you should start a journal on here so we can give you advice throughout your journey. Commit yourself to approach xx amount of girls a week.

Sure I will get more details on the drivers license. I have an idea of the price but dont know how long it takes to learn to drive. So I will definitely take your feedback and go do my research. The apartment, I would need to close about 5 clients to achieve that goal so I need to step up my client acquisition activity to make that happen faster. The COVID19 made things a bit slower and now things are opening back up, I can move a bit faster now.

It's cool to know you run an online business :)

I will consider if creating a journal under the "Lifestyle boards" section is going to be best at the moment since I am taking a break from dating and then once I start dating again I will surely share field reports and a journal. Thanks DML

@Grand Pooba

I think that one point that's really worth mentioning here that no one else has is:

To be successful IN BOTH women and business, you ONLY focus on Earning Money and Business Building, or you ONLY focus on Getting Your Women Goals and Getting a Girlfriend, at once. Do ONE THING AT A TIME.

Unfortunately, you cannot do both at once. VERY IMPORTANT TO REALIZE THIS AND ACCEPT THIS LIMITATION (actually I think your entire post is you realizing this organically, lol)! Many people have tried to do both at once and they cannot - it's unfortunately not possible because either avenue you choose will be one of the most difficult and time consuming things you do in your life. To get good at either one needs your 100% full time dedicated focus until you're actually good. Yet, you need both to truly be happy - but you have to focus on one or the other first, and then once you've got one element figured out, you shift your focus to the next while the other is stable and healthy.

Does this make sense, OP?

What I read is you are trying to do two things at once over the last few years - get better at women, AND build your business to a financial success. And you've been failing at both and wondering why this is, and feeling the burn out. It's because you're splitting your time.

In this sense I completely agree with your new strategy - you're saying prioritize business, and stall women. That's perfectly fine - do it! I think it will work, and give yourself 1-2 years to really get stable and then once you've got a nice solid income stream and stable lifestyle, build the women up again. Then you'll have to shift 100% of your spare energy to getting a girlfriend.

Most business owners, in their period of hard work to make that payoff, are either in a very stable LTR, or they're completely celibate and use their sex drive to transmute their energy into their work.

To be clear, either path is fine - you can also try to focus on getting a stable LTR first if you want - I just want to make it clear that I have not heard of a single person succeed trying to do both elite business building and elite game learning at once, and many have tried.

Yes Grand Pooba it makes a lot of sense. It's been 5 years I am single and only had public sex a couple times over the years. I wish the LTR girlfriend were here right now, I would be more content to keep moving forward. Over the last 3 years the struggle I have had is being in business is rewarding while also very stressful. And many days I do need to release some of that energy, sex or masturbation are my only solutions.

So I am going to have to buckle down even more and hope this business takes off very soon so I don't have to reply on masturbation. So only 2 things at the moment I will really focus on: my health and my wealth. 1 year seems like a long time, I will be 25 years old. There are 6 + months left in the year so I will be slamming my schedules all day and all night with work to make that money fly.

Everything you says makes a lot of sense so thanks!

@Troy I read your post and the way you described your childhood and your teenage years it was like I was reading my own story. I grew up poor in a asian muslim household my family was too frugal with their money didn't want to give me money to buy food,new clothes,shoes, any kind of accessories. I literally wore the same few sweaters and pants I had every week and I always looked in the mirror feeling insecure. Kids bullied and roasted me mercilessly in middle school on a daily basis and in high school it wasn't as bad or frequent,but I still wasn't respected that much by my peers . Even my muslim friends didn't respect me and treated me like a loser. There was no way I could've pulled any girls with the way that I looked. Although looking back I can think of some girls who may have liked me or given me a chance despite all my flaws if I only was able to present myself better. All across the board I was loser in grade school whose dad wouldn't even give him money for a proper haircut. All he stressed was taking school seriously and comparing me to my cousins which he still does. My oldest brother has mental problems and became a burden to my family and still is. I grew up with low self esteem because I looked like shit and had such a shitty upbringing and recieved no support from my parents. All they cared about was I did whatever they wanted which is how muslim culture raises their children. Other kids I knew had similiar experiences with their parents. I had no power, I couldn't get a job my parents ruled over me and dictated everything I could do.

College was better for me and I got jobs and earned money,but I was so behind in socializing I had to play catchup and I had so much ground to makeup. I had to learn how to talk to girls,how to behave normally around them,what not to do around them. Basic shit that I could've learned in high school,but was so messed up that there was so way it was happening. My self esteem improved and I didn't struggle as much as I did when I was younger,but I still didn't know how to get girls.

Even after I discovered this site it was still hard for me to pull any girls because of how bad my social instincts were. That's part of the reason why i'm still a virgin to this day. Even now there are things. I don't even like sharing that about myself because of the image people have in their head about what it takes for a guy to be a virgin in his twenties. I could've approached women after I graduated from college and even before and had a lot of time to do so before the pandemic,but I had too many mental blocks and and couldn't overcome them. Now it's gonna be a while for those same opportunities to come back.

I wanted to share my story for the same reason that you did which was to vent your frustrations and to show you that you aren't the only one who had the experiences you had. I know nobody gives a shit about what I had to deal with and I didn't even share my full story. At least you're not a incel and a failure like me so if you did put women on hold to improves your finances that's totally fine and there's nothing wrong with it. You don't have to prove anything to anybody.I know getting pussy and having female company is nice,but it won't solve all your issues. You should prioritize getting money so you can have freedom and independence. Those will do much more for you then having godlike game.Those things you wanted for 2020 those are things I wish for myself too. A nice apartment and a sweet loving beautiful gf(a car not so much cuz idk how to drive). Best of luck to you man and hope you reach your goals.

I am sorry to hear you are also in a very similar situation to myself. I hope to improve and I also want to thank you for sharing your story. I also wish you the best of luck on getting all the goals you also desire.


Quick update, I just have to type this out to release some stress, that is how I cope when things get hard. The girl I mentioned that has a child, also 24 years old like myself. I really think at this point in time I need to cut contact with her, as in delete her number to make sure I stick to my promise. She did send me a text this week that baited me to respond back to her. I know I mentioned multiple times I am putting my focus on business for now so this girl she is either going to go on a date with me very soon from now (next 1-2 weeks) or I will cut 100% contact with her before I lose my mind or get hung up on this girl. My last conversations with her went like this:

Troy: (called her on Monday, I got voicemail)

Patrice: sorry dear, I cant talk now I am on the road to get medication for my son. I will call you when I get in (Monday SMS, she did not contact me after that)

Troy: (Wednesday evening I called her and also got her voicemail)

Patrice: (SMS on Thursday) sorry love, I was tired so went to bed early

Troy: (she takes 4 hours up to 3 days to respond to my messages so I waited till Friday to text her) hey love what time can i call you either today or tomorrow? I'll be super busy this weekend, but if I know when I can call, that would be good for both of us

(P.s. that SMS I sent above, now I read it over does look a bit corny, I probably should not have sent that)

Patrice: (No response Friday or today)

Troy: (I called her this afternoon twice in a row, I was taking a break from my work and she happened to be online Whatsapp which means she has time to text. So I followed Chase article advice https://www.girlschase.com/content/tactics-tuesdays-10-times-call-her-instead-text and I called her immediately. She declined both of my phone calls)

Troy: (SMS) Saturday 1:07PM) Is Trey feeling better now since you gave him the medicine? Want to hear some jokes tonight and chill talk? Hows your day look? Mine looks like someone took 3 days of stuff and is lumping it all into one day

Basically I know she is also busy and takes long to respond so that last line resonated with both of us. She has been very distant recently hence why I am strongly considering https://www.girlschase.com/content/when-throw-ball-her-court-and-when-not

It's real sad because all through quarantine I was calling her once every 2 weeks, and having fun conversations and I even got us talking about how when life goes back to normal I am going to take her out on a date. My country opened up back on Monday and since then she has become more quiet. Hence another reason pushing me to just stop dating for now. There are too many variables going against me. And she just does not seem to be reciprocating the calls or texts.

I just wanted to share that and get it off my mind. I feel a lot calmer now typing that out. Before typing this I was feeling depressed, now I am not sad anymore. I will wait for her response and just not respond to her if the message does not give off the vibe "I want to talk to you more". I showed empathy and understanding for her son and her busy schedule in that last SMS.

I am not sure if she is just trying to brush me off politely or just genuinely busy and I don't want to keep texting or calling her, it only seems to be making things worse and making me very anxious when she takes days to respond. That is not the kind of stress I need right now. I think she is amazing and I wanted to develop a relationship with her and right now she is becoming more of a liability to my own mental health when she takes so long to respond. Based on her response, I will cut contact immediately or setup that date me and her have been talking about since April 2020.

So back to work for me now, again guys, I truly appreciate the advice and I will definitely take a break from dating and focus on my money goals. Again I will consider making a journal on the lifestyle section of the boards and on there I think I would be able to share a lot of business and money making advice to help those along who may also want to go digital.

One more quick note @Troy - if you want something to visualize in a positive way about your choice, just visualize it like this:

2020 has become a really shitty and tough year for dating because of COVID-19, and who knows when it will go away, but I'm confident that girls will want to go out in droves in Spring 2021, around March or April into the entire Summer. I'm going to focus on getting my life together between now and March 2021, and forget about women until then, so I can take advantage of the come-back next year and enjoy my new life with women!

Awesome! I appreciate the quote. I will definitely work hard and smart to achieve that goal. I will print and laminate this quote and put it on my rooom wall. I have that habit of putting my goals in front of my face daily and reading them over and over when things get tough.
 
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Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
I have been thinking for days now whether I should make this post or not. And so now I have made that decision, it will be a hard pill for me to swallow per se. I decided to let my emotions cool off a bit before sitting down now. To make a long story short

I am strongly considering to delete every girl out of my life who has not contacted me in the last 30 days on her own free will and I am also considering to just forget about dating any new girls until I get my life in order.

I am not writing this to seek a pity party or any advice per se. I just wanted to put my thoughts in writing so in the future I can come back and remember vividly why I made this difficult decision.

I am 24 years old now (Birthday was April 6) and up to this point I don't feel I have achieved anything of remote success in my life and as such I had to take a step back and figure out 2 things:

1. What do I want out of life?
2. What is the #1 thing I need to do at this moment to get what I want out of life?

I made a post recently which I got some great feedback from all the guys https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/the-right-time-to-go-on-a-date-after-quarantine.22942/

And I made mention I wanted 3 things:

1. My own apartment
2. A car
3. A sweet girlfriend

At the current moment nothing in my life is going as I planned and all my efforts to improve, the results are mediocre at best. When I look back at my life the #1 problem that has caused 90% of my problems has been a lack of financial resources. I will break down in categories how being very poor from age 0 - 24 has negatively affected my life.

Health

After making that last post in May, I ended up in the hospital to be treated for major depression and I almost died to be honest. The cause for my major mental breakdown was a lack of a supportive environment for my goals and dreams. I live in a dysfunctional family. My parents and siblings fight around the clock, even at 9:00pm - 1:00am on previous occasions there has been fights in my home (I was never directly involved, I only heard the noise in the house and I ran to look what was happening. The police has been at my home to part fights between my family members at least 20 times in the past 24 months alone.

Where was I that entire time these arguments and fights played out in my household?

I was usually locked away in my bedroom working on improving myself. I have transformed my room into my sleeping area, home office, gym, eating area. My family is do dynfunctional, I dont even say good morning to most of my family members and vice versa. I am working to improve myself and they are busy fighting day and night.

My health has suffered greatly over the past 20 years + because of:

1. Family constantly fighting
2. Me constantly feeling helpless
3. My neighbors hating the family because of how much they fight, also hating me
4. Lack of sufficient money means my diet has been very poor most of my life
5. Lack of fulfilling relationships due to the above reasons and me losing confidence in myself

Relationships

I have always been the odd kid in school. I recall going through basic, middle and high school always being singled out. I was always:

1. Bullied and scorned by the girls and boys
2. Never got picked for the sports teams
3. Was never artistic, funny or had any skills that made me "cool" to the other kids

I only had 1 girlfriend in high school and the relationship lasted for maybe 2 months, if so long. I was usually the guy walking home alone from school while everyone else in school had a group of friends or a girlfriend to walk with.

(this is a very summarized way of putting it)

And the negative environment at home only reinforced how I felt. I recall 1 instance I left school after the boys teased and bullied me and I would get home and see my extended family literally drawing knives at each other and treatening to kill each other.

I moved from one negative environment to another negative one. Growing up, because my family was so poor, I had nowhere to go and I had to put up with a lot of drama expecially during my high school years.

Fact of the matter, even though I was bullied in high school as well, I do recall there were quite a few girls who liked me, thought I was cute and a bit mysterious, and because of how much crap was going on in my life, I was usually lacking so much confidence I never did anything with these girls.

Which further reinforced the nonsense I told myself. I wanted to do more and it always seemed like more forces were against me than I could manage.

I left school in 2015 and since then I have been working low wage jobs ever since. From 2015 to now, most of the girls I have had sex with, I did so in public places because of all the crap that was going on in my home. And because of that, not even 1 girl I met from 2015 to now I have had sex with more than once, which is pretty fucked up to be honest. Despite my attempts to improve myself, girls would always ghost on me.

Happiness

Obviously everything I have written far, anyone reading it can see a whole bunch of negative happenings. I have struggled so much all my life I am honestly truly happy. Many times my desire to improve myself: reading books, going on dates, building my online business, and exercising have all been a "temporary happiness" booster in my life, but deep down I don't recall a whole lot of happiness in my life.

So some people reading this might be wondering a couple things:

1. Why did I take the time to talk about all the past shit in my life which has nothing to do with the present or future
2. How is writing this helping me
3. Why all this negative writing

The answer to those potential questions anyone reading may have is my simple answer:

I needed a place to vent and just feel comfortable for once in my life on how I feel about myself as a human being. I dont have any friend or other influence I can sit down with and just be real. I have been using "self improvement" talk for quite a few years now to bury how I really feel as a man. Yes self improvement is the only way I am going to overcome my past problems, and more importantly I realize I may have to spend a good deal of time learning to truly love myself. I dont know how I am going to do that, however at least I am aware and I will do my best to find a solution.

So back to the 2 most important questions, here are my answers:

1. What do I want out of life (for 2020) ?

Answer: a nice apartment, a nice car and a sweet girlfriend

2. What is the #1 thing I need to do at this moment to get what I want out of life?

Answer: I need to improve my finances first and foremost, it is hands down the #1 missing component which has slowed down a lot of my growth from age 18 - 24. Before age 18, I had zero control because I was too young to have a job. Now I am a man, money is the only solution I see to making a difference in my life, it is the stepping stone that will allow me to explore and bring other things into my life


Coronavirus Causing Me To Reflect

Now I now a lot of GC skilled seducers have mentioned their dating life has been affected. My dating life has gotten worse as well. No surprise there. At the beginning of the Coronavirus, I was dating 3 women, at the moment both women have pretty much ghosted me.

I have spent time texting and calling these women the past 2 months. I made previous posts about them. One of the girls I was getting along well with, she has a child and the past 3 weeks, she has pretty much been very avoidant via text and has not accepted any of my phone calls. So pretty much I deleted her phone number tonight and all texts from her, that way I do not continue to chase her.

The other girl I was dating, she was actually flat out stopped responding to my texts

I know, I know what you are thinking "next these girls and build abundance with women".

I could definitely do that and then I realized the thing missing from my life is a lack of direction and pretty much me not winning at anything in life is causing a domino effect. So how do I plan on stopping this domino effect?

Full Speed Ahead With My Business, Zero Time For Women

This is probably the weirdest and most uncomfortable thing I am saying in this post so far. I love sex and I love women but honestly there are too many variables in my life that are just fucked up.

I am 24 years old and I:

1. Still dont know how to drive, I am not taking a single dollar out of my pocket for any more dates until I get that damn drivers license and ultimately get a car
2. Still live with my family who is constanty fighting, if I had a better environment, dating, sex and money would come to me a lot easier
3. Still out of shape, I have made improvements if I got my money in check, I could afford to eat healthier. Yes I exercise but my diet is still not 100% right

Attempts Made From 2015 - 2020 To Improve

With all of what I wrote above, I have done my very best in the past to take action. Here are some of the positive action steps I have taken:

1. Launched my marketing agency back in 2017, I moved from not even knowing what Wordpress is, to now building a very beautiful website

2. I have invested in courses from 2017 - 2020 on sales, copywriting and online marketing and I am constantly pushing myself to get better. Some of the top guys in the industry: Dan Lok, Jason Capital, Grant Cardone, Jordan Belfort, Anik Singal, Fred Lam, John Crestani, and many other legendary mentors. I have basically taken my paychecks and put into self education. I truly hope one day it pays off

3. I went from working on my business all alone from 2017 - 2019, to now I successfully managed to close 3 business partners on a joint venture so we can all make money and scale the business to 6 or 7 figures.

4. I exercise daily between 5:00am - 7:00am and then I do exercise again for one addional hour in the evening or night. I started this back in February 2020.

5. Since February 2020 as well, I have been doing my best to cut out low calorie foods and eat as healthy as I possibly can despite me not having a lot of money.

6. I purchased every course on Girls Chase: How to text girls, Girls Chase Mastery, Hector book on dating in college, One Date

7. In did my best to go on a date occasionally from 2015 - 2019. Some months, especially in 2019 I did break this rule to work devotedly on my online business

Dan Bilzerian Lifestyle Talk

In order for me to write this post as clear as possible, I have to go back to Dan Bilzerian quote:

"The number one reason I have so many girls in my life is because of my setup"

He says those words and it rings so true in my life. If I get my life organized, girls, money and power will all come to me easier. Me not having a car, living with my parents in a dysfunctional home and being out of shape is not probably turning away girls from me more than I know it.

So for the rest of 2020, I will do my best to focus on my money. I will be doing my best to grow my client database. So I can setup my life with a nice house and a nice car. I will have a positve environment and I think girls will be more open to wanting to be a part of my life at that point in time.

I will be working on my business 12-16 hours a day again, until I get my money in order, I will do my best to stay the fuck away from women. I have had so many girls reject me in the past and I have lost a lot of attraction in women because I did not sleep with them fast enough. Yes public sex is fun, but it is very hard to find a place to have sex... a nice apartment and a car I think would greatly improve my dating life since I would have a consistent place to pull women for sex.

I have been debating a lot with myself, should I take a break from dating and trying to get sex. This is the most uncomfortable decision I have had to make in a long time. I think is the right one and until I become a boss on my way to the fucking bank, until I get my money and ducks in a row, I will be doing my best to stay the fuck away from women.

I will setup my life so girls want to be a part of it.

- You don't need a car, own apt, a girlfriend.... to be good at dating, specially now a days with ubber...

you are still making silly mistakes for example the girl told you "i call you back on monday", you wait for her to text you whatever the day she ask you... But you got desperate and texted her before cause you did not hear from her, this is needy...

I don't understand about dating and game... Most guys in the game have full time jobs, run businesses and go to school and they manage to get laid....

Coronavirus, is official in usa nobody cares....


read this: http://www.theskillsmethod.com/manage-professional-life-business-school-clubbing/
 

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
- You don't need a car, own apt, a girlfriend.... to be good at dating, specially now a days with ubber...

you are still making silly mistakes for example the girl told you "i call you back on monday", you wait for her to text you whatever the day she ask you... But you got desperate and texted her before cause you did not hear from her, this is needy...

I don't understand about dating and game... Most guys in the game have full time jobs, run businesses and go to school and they manage to get laid....

Coronavirus, is official in usa nobody cares....


read this: http://www.theskillsmethod.com/manage-professional-life-business-school-clubbing/

She never contacted me on Monday or Tuesday so I called her again on Wednesday. Ok so I guess you are saying I should definitely wait it out even more so right now since you said I screwed up from Wednesday by calling her again. There has been negative compliance from her since Monday. It's Saturday and she has not contacted me. I am more feeling the vibe to totally cut contact with her. It's really difficult to converse with a woman who takes just as long to text me back, when someone could have sent me a PO Box mail in 1-2 days express, this girl is taking 4 days to respond. That's really annoying.

My goal this week was to really get her on a 10 minute call, confirm the date and that never happened.

I am with you @Skills I hear you say other guys have jobs, businesses and are even broke and they manage to get laid. I am not them. Believe me, if I could do better right now, I would. I am listening and doing my best to understand your point of view.

If I could get laid consistently, I would not be here. All through Coronavirus I have been calling girls, having wonderful phone conversations: they are laughing on the phone, we are deep diving and all is fun. Problem is no matter how good those calls seem to have been, if I ever stopped contacting any of those girls for even a month, I never hear from them unless I call or text them. Take this girl Patrice for example, last phone conversation I had with her was on May 14th. We spoke for about 30 minutes, we got to know each other better and for the most part I avoided deep conversation and focused on banter, because that is what Chase says to do on bonding phone calls.

Patrice had close to 3 weeks to contact me saying even "hi". She never did. Other girls I am talking to, some I have given 1 month radio silence after wonderful phone calls, they also have not called or texted me. Which just makes the dating game that more frustrating for me.

Dating is not that easy for me, and I don't know what fundamental thing is wrong with my approach. The way you put that statement you make it seem like sex comes so easy, and I agree it does for you and others.

All I really wished is for girls to start chasing me and contact me first some of the time. From my point of view, I am losing girls due to things taking too long to escalate to sex. My logistics are screwed up, and as my story suggests I have had a very rough 24 years thus far which means I am really lacking in a lot of the get girls skills needed. I am doing my best to disassociate from my past.

I think the best thing I can do at the moment is just drop contact cold with all girls in my phone. I can bet that 99% of those girls I contacted and flirted with during quarantine will not even call or text me 2, 3, 6 months from now and next thing I will know they will either be pregnant, have boyfriends or be busy shagging other guys, just not me.

And it truly, deeply hurts me to write that statement above. I have gone through a world of hurt in the past, it's happened before. I have flirted with girls before, have them flake on me multiple times and later on I saw Instagram posts of them being pregnant or posing with some other guy.

At this point in time I am very turned off by what I see happening it is only making me doubt my ability to succeed even more. Hence why I decided to put all my thoughts in this post and just decide to leave women alone. I need to put my focus on 1 thing as @Grand Pooba mentioned. I feel like I am fighting an upstream battle and that only makes my depression worse as the days go on. I have spent far too many Friday and Saturday nights alone. And right now I need to develop more as a person. So my focus will be shifted to:

1. Getting my drivers license (If girls found out I cannot drive at 24 years old, that would be embarassing)

2. Getting a car (my community is pretty much one where everyone drives and I have first hand experienced guys with game better than me who also drive just steal girls right out of my hands when they pulled up in their car. I also get a lot of feedback from girls these days that sometimes them taking public transport just makes it harder for us to meet up. I know what persons are going to say, money is not that important and a car is not that important. At this stage of my dating game, anything to make the logistics easier on me, I am going for that. Some girls say to me they dont feel comfortable dressing sexy and taking public transport. Besides I want to experience blowjobs, handjobs and sex with girls in my own car. That way I won't be forced to try and find some semi clean bathroom or some bushes. So a car is definitely the way for me and persuing more money is the solution to achieving that goal.

3. An apartment - my environment is too negative for me to function properly and grow. There is a 99% chance going against me from bringing girls back to my home.

So until I accomplish these 3 things, I am seriously going to stall women. To protect whatever self confidence I have left. If I lose too much more self confidence, I am going to end up back in the hospital for chronic depression. Me not having the life I want is bringing deep and real pain to my life.

And @Skills I am doing my very best to look at things from your point of view, I felt it's important to know I did think carefully about what you said before I replied and even after this reply I am still doing my best to relate. So I appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective
 
Last edited:

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
She never contacted me on Monday or Tuesday so I called her again on Wednesday. Ok so I guess you are saying I should definitely wait it out even more so right now since you said I screwed up from Wednesday by calling her again. There has been negative compliance from her since Monday. It's Saturday and she has not contacted me. I am more feeling the vibe to totally cut contact with her. It's really difficult to converse with a woman who takes just as long to text me back, when someone could have sent me a PO Box mail in 1-2 days express, this girl is taking 4 days to respond. That's really annoying.

My goal this week was to really get her on a 10 minute call, confirm the date and that never happened.

I am with you @Skills I hear you say other guys have jobs, businesses and are even broke and they manage to get laid. I am not them. Believe me, if I could do better right now, I would. I am listening and doing my best to understand your point of view.

If I could get laid consistently, I would not be here. All through Coronavirus I have been calling girls, having wonderful phone conversations: they are laughing on the phone, we are deep diving and all is fun. Problem is no matter how good those calls seem to have been, if I ever stopped contacting any of those girls for even a month, I never hear from them unless I call or text them. Take this girl Patrice for example, last phone conversation I had with her was on May 14th. We spoke for about 30 minutes, we got to know each other better and for the most part I avoided deep conversation and focused on banter, because that is what Chase says to do on bonding phone calls.

Patrice had close to 3 weeks to contact me saying even "hi". She never did. Other girls I am talking to, some I have given 1 month radio silence after wonderful phone calls, they also have not called or texted me. Which just makes the dating game that more frustrating for me.

Dating is not that easy for me, and I don't know what fundamental thing is wrong with my approach. The way you put that statement you make it seem like sex comes so easy, and I agree it does for you and others.

All I really wished is for girls to start chasing me and contact me first some of the time. From my point of view, I am losing girls due to things taking too long to escalate to sex. My logistics are screwed up, and as my story suggests I have had a very rough 24 years thus far which means I am really lacking in a lot of the get girls skills needed. I am doing my best to disassociate from my past.

I think the best thing I can do at the moment is just drop contact cold with all girls in my phone. I can bet that 99% of those girls I contacted and flirted with during quarantine will not even call or text me 2, 3, 6 months from now and next thing I will know they will either be pregnant, have boyfriends or be busy shagging other guys, just not me.

And it truly, deeply hurts me to write that statement above. I have gone through a world of hurt in the past, it's happened before. I have flirted with girls before, have them flake on me multiple times and later on I saw Instagram posts of them being pregnant or posing with some other guy.

At this point in time I am very turned off by what I see happening it is only making me doubt my ability to succeed even more. Hence why I decided to put all my thoughts in this post and just decide to leave women alone. I need to put my focus on 1 thing as @Grand Pooba mentioned. I feel like I am fighting an upstream battle and that only makes my depression worse as the days go on. I have spent far too many Friday and Saturday nights alone. And right now I need to develop more as a person. So my focus will be shifted to:

1. Getting my drivers license (If girls found out I cannot drive at 24 years old, that would be embarassing)

2. Getting a car (my community is pretty much one where everyone drives and I have first hand experienced guys with game better than me who also drive just steal girls right out of my hands when they pulled up in their car. I also get a lot of feedback from girls these days that sometimes them taking public transport just makes it harder for us to meet up. I know what persons are going to say, money is not that important and a car is not that important. At this stage of my dating game, anything to make the logistics easier on me, I am going for that. Some girls say to me they dont feel comfortable dressing sexy and taking public transport. Besides I want to experience blowjobs, handjobs and sex with girls in my own car. That way I won't be forced to try and find some semi clean bathroom or some bushes. So a car is definitely the way for me and persuing more money is the solution to achieving that goal.

3. An apartment - my environment is too negative for me to function properly and grow. There is a 99% chance going against me from bringing girls back to my home.

So until I accomplish these 3 things, I am seriously going to stall women. To protect whatever self confidence I have left. If I lose too much more self confidence, I am going to end up back in the hospital for chronic depression. Me not having the life I want is bringing deep and real pain to my life.

And @Skills I am doing my very best to look at things from your point of view, I felt it's important to know I did think carefully about what you said before I replied and even after this reply I am still doing my best to relate. So I appreciate you taking the time to share your perspective

oh i see so, the women go radio silence and don't invest... And nobody gets laid easy, it is a lot of hard work, and failures and ups and downs...

So what is they system you follow and how are you meeting this girls, is the phone thing working for you?
 

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
oh i see so, the women go radio silence and don't invest... And nobody gets laid easy, it is a lot of hard work, and failures and ups and downs...

So what is they system you follow and how are you meeting this girls, is the phone thing working for you?

Yes they go radio silence on me. My goal this week was to start setting up dates hence why I contacted this girl Patrice multiple times. From What I can see she is either genuinely busy or just stalling me. Same for the other girls I have been talking to.

I am doing my best to distinguish between reactions vs results https://www.girlschase.com/content/reactions-women-or-results-women

On the phones I during COVID 19, I pretty much followed these articles:


To quote from the 1st article what Chase said

I recommend a few objectives for early courtship bonding phone calls:

  • Make some small talk about her and your day, tell her a short recent story about something that happened to you, and hopefully have her tell you a short little story about something recent on her end, too
  • Get into a good back-and-forth, with fun, flirtation, and humor
  • Share one (1) new and interesting thing about yourself she does not yet know

That is pretty much how I handle my calls. From March when the Coronavirus started. My routine was like this for example:

Call Girls on March 1, have a 5-30 mins call and I aim to end the call first, on a high point when she is laughing

I go silent for 5-14 days

I text the girls, (in this example) March 5 - March 14. I keep the text conversation to 6 back and forth exchanges maximum

I go silent again for 5-14 days

Call Girls on March 30, have a 5-30 minutes call and I aim to end the call first, on a high point when she is laughing

(that is just an example of the time frame, so I don't keep texting or talking to these girls too often that they get tired of me. At the same time I talk to them often enough, preferably via calls more than text because I get to inject my personality, voice tonality. And I keep the calls fun and flirty. I don't just crack jokes right through the call, I do however share interesting stories and have the girls share cool stories as well.

So even with Patrice for example, she never initiated any of the text conversations nor did she call me first. No matter how good of phone conversations we had. I never got the vibe from her or any of the girls that I was being weird or boring on the calls. I would however sometimes get voicemail..

My phone etiquette is if I call a girls phone once and she does not respond right away. I usually put my phone away and give her one day or silence. Some girls would text saying "sorry busy now" or something along those lines and I would then call back at another time and get through. There are some occasions I might call 2 times in a row and the girl misses the first call and answers the 2nd call.

Issue is, the girls are just not initiating conversation which makes me wonder a couple things:

1. Are they just tolerating me
2. Do they see me as just a friend
3. Are they just being polite
4. Do they just prefer to sit back and watch me do all the work
5. Do I just need to have sex with these girls for them to start contacting me first

Hence the reason why I gave girls 5-14 days of radio silence. Usually if I had a 10 minutes phone call, I would wait at least 7 days to call her again.

I was watching a video the other day by a guy named Jason Capital who also is a dating coach and he mentioned something memorable. I quote

"Do you think if Robert Downey or Leonardo Dicaprio called these girls, don't you think the girls would do all the chasing for these guys at least most of the time? Of course they would. So what you need to focus on is developing high status. The reason girls don't contact you first is they don't see you as a high status guy"

That line stood out to me and I said "Ah"

So my guess is these girls see me as just a guy, but not memorable enough that they feel the urgency to ever contact me. And now life is going back to normal, I am trying to setup dates. Based on what happened this week, I am not super motivated to keep chasing girls if they wont invest anything. And that is why I wanted to focus on becoming more high status and making my dating life much easier.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
Yes they go radio silence on me. My goal this week was to start setting up dates hence why I contacted this girl Patrice multiple times. From What I can see she is either genuinely busy or just stalling me. Same for the other girls I have been talking to.

I am doing my best to distinguish between reactions vs results https://www.girlschase.com/content/reactions-women-or-results-women

On the phones I during COVID 19, I pretty much followed these articles:


To quote from the 1st article what Chase said


That is pretty much how I handle my calls. From March when the Coronavirus started. My routine was like this for example:

Call Girls on March 1, have a 5-30 mins call and I aim to end the call first, on a high point when she is laughing

I go silent for 5-14 days

I text the girls, (in this example) March 5 - March 14. I keep the text conversation to 6 back and forth exchanges maximum

I go silent again for 5-14 days

Call Girls on March 30, have a 5-30 minutes call and I aim to end the call first, on a high point when she is laughing

(that is just an example of the time frame, so I don't keep texting or talking to these girls too often that they get tired of me. At the same time I talk to them often enough, preferably via calls more than text because I get to inject my personality, voice tonality. And I keep the calls fun and flirty. I don't just crack jokes right through the call, I do however share interesting stories and have the girls share cool stories as well.

So even with Patrice for example, she never initiated any of the text conversations nor did she call me first. No matter how good of phone conversations we had. I never got the vibe from her or any of the girls that I was being weird or boring on the calls. I would however sometimes get voicemail..

My phone etiquette is if I call a girls phone once and she does not respond right away. I usually put my phone away and give her one day or silence. Some girls would text saying "sorry busy now" or something along those lines and I would then call back at another time and get through. There are some occasions I might call 2 times in a row and the girl misses the first call and answers the 2nd call.

Issue is, the girls are just not initiating conversation which makes me wonder a couple things:

1. Are they just tolerating me
2. Do they see me as just a friend
3. Are they just being polite
4. Do they just prefer to sit back and watch me do all the work
5. Do I just need to have sex with these girls for them to start contacting me first

Hence the reason why I gave girls 5-14 days of radio silence. Usually if I had a 10 minutes phone call, I would wait at least 7 days to call her again.

I was watching a video the other day by a guy named Jason Capital who also is a dating coach and he mentioned something memorable. I quote

"Do you think if Robert Downey or Leonardo Dicaprio called these girls, don't you think the girls would do all the chasing for these guys at least most of the time? Of course they would. So what you need to focus on is developing high status. The reason girls don't contact you first is they don't see you as a high status guy"

That line stood out to me and I said "Ah"

So my guess is these girls see me as just a guy, but not memorable enough that they feel the urgency to ever contact me. And now life is going back to normal, I am trying to setup dates. Based on what happened this week, I am not super motivated to keep chasing girls if they wont invest anything. And that is why I wanted to focus on becoming more high status and making my dating life much easier.


obviously this strategy is not working for you, have you looked into a different strategy???

When i was learning online game i followed every dude that was good at online, k(kant), cocporn, bd, cisco etc..... And nothing worked, when i mixed it all it kind of worked... not asking you to do that, but change to a different strategy.... @Tank used to struggle and is having decent results online maybe see what he is doing....

p.s. online without a car is a bit tough though, you may need to do 3 bounce to a very isolated location...
 

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
obviously this strategy is not working for you, have you looked into a different strategy???

When i was learning online game i followed every dude that was good at online, k(kant), cocporn, bd, cisco etc..... And nothing worked, when i mixed it all it kind of worked... not asking you to do that, but change to a different strategy.... @Tank used to struggle and is having decent results online maybe see what he is doing....

p.s. online without a car is a bit tough though, you may need to do 3 bounce to a very isolated location...

I have not tried a different strategy. I just thought to follow Chase article as closely as I can. I am also doing my best to make sure it is not my voice tonality or the conversation topics I am bringing up on the calls that is causing the issue. I was thinking to focus more on sexual tension and I found that a bit risky on the phone, because I would not be in front of the girls to relieve that tension. Plus since I would just be learning sexual tension via phone, there is a risk I could say something inappropriate on the call. That is just my theory.

Sure I will check out @Tank posts

Yes not having a car makes dating very difficult for me, especially in my neighborhood where almost everyone drives and others take public transport which is very unreliable, for instance waiting on the bus could take 5 minutes - 3 hours and the private taxis that take me directly to and from my gate are very expensive, I might as well pay a bit extra and have a cheap car, which is not possible at the moment.

What is 3 bounce? When you say isolated location, what are you thinking are good places?

I find gardens and decent trimmed bushes to be the safest and most comfortable to take girls to hopefully escalate to have sex. And even then it's more of a luck thing. Some of the nicest gardens have security guards walking around and others just have a lot of other people relaxing, kids running around. Usually bathrooms are either overcrowded or just plain nasty, I cannot even hold my breath in some public bathrooms, much less think about dragging a sweet girl in there for sex. Hence my logistics are terrible.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
I have not tried a different strategy. I just thought to follow Chase article as closely as I can. I am also doing my best to make sure it is not my voice tonality or the conversation topics I am bringing up on the calls that is causing the issue. I was thinking to focus more on sexual tension and I found that a bit risky on the phone, because I would not be in front of the girls to relieve that tension. Plus since I would just be learning sexual tension via phone, there is a risk I could say something inappropriate on the call. That is just my theory.

Sure I will check out @Tank posts

Yes not having a car makes dating very difficult for me, especially in my neighborhood where almost everyone drives and others take public transport which is very unreliable, for instance waiting on the bus could take 5 minutes - 3 hours and the private taxis that take me directly to and from my gate are very expensive, I might as well pay a bit extra and have a cheap car, which is not possible at the moment.

What is 3 bounce? When you say isolated location, what are you thinking are good places?

I find gardens and decent trimmed bushes to be the safest and most comfortable to take girls to hopefully escalate to have sex. And even then it's more of a luck thing. Some of the nicest gardens have security guards walking around and others just have a lot of other people relaxing, kids running around. Usually bathrooms are either overcrowded or just plain nasty, I cannot even hold my breath in some public bathrooms, much less think about dragging a sweet girl in there for sex. Hence my logistics are terrible.


i just want to clarify chase is one of the top guys, but obviously his strategy for whatever reason after you field tested has not worked for you. So time to change that strategy.

Grand pooba has good advice about focusing strongly on something.... My only problem is that i have always had a problem with the community specially when it comes to working out, "i can't workout cause i am focus on biz" wtf, working out takes less than 45 minutes a day?

or i can't get women cause i am focus on working out or biz, but working on women can take as little as less than an hour a day? i rather be consistent and maybe couple of hours on weekends?

My problem with the phone strategy, i think is that the women now a days in my experience don't care about getting on the phone, and getting on the phone may be seen as "desperation" "showing too much interest" certain gurus can get away with the phone because they are extremely good at verbals, teevester gets on the phone with a girl he will have the girl doing jumping jacks naked, but you can't due to so much experience...

I rather you to abandoned that strategy since it has not worked for YOU, and adopt a different strategy... How are you meeting women? if you want to focus on biz, maybe give online a try.... here is what i do after failing at everything, yesterday i did not want to help you cause i have not done online, so before this post i play with it and it worked (not going to post the convo till pipi in vagina, but it worked so far):

opener: i read your profile, (or i saw your profile if nothing in it) and we would never get along, we would have to much fun together... I am troy

pob who is really good at online opens with: Mmmmm, someone here is gonna be trouble (most community had success with the you look like trouble one, this is a variation of it) I would add at the end i am troy

she responds.... you calibrate to her response and say " ready for your test! how happy are you in your life from 1 to 10? ---- the ready for your test is from popcorn/carousel the qualifying question is from bd that took it from style...

if she responds 10 you say: "that is impossible you can't be a 10 cause you have not met me yet"
any number below 10 you respond: "that is cause you have not met me, once you meet me you will go to 10"

if she ask you say this by pob or any variation that has to do with your life but don't talk about car, living your parents etc..:here is pob sample:

My answer would be:
I'm 8,5 right now, but that's because I expect great things from myself! I cannot feel happy where I am, so I keep pushing things, specially on my professional life, so I can become a 9 at least and stay like that forever! But that half point is soo hard to come by, that's why I'm working my butt off and trying to improve every day.

note. always finish a question with a question....

last question, what are the 2 best qualities that have nothing to do with your appearance/looks?

She answers, if she asks you used something that is a dhv for example i use:

My sense of humor and my people/relationships skills......

close part 1:

Katherine (or whatever her name this one was the girl last night i field tested), you seem safe enough, and someone worth getting to know, i am barely here, text me at 4444444444, say this is Katherine so i know who you are, if i do not respond right away is not because i am not interested or playing to cool for school, but because i may be busy with clients (or if you do not have clients end it at busy).

^ my goal is to screen, make her invest, and make her jump through hoops and take her out of the platform so it becomes more personlized.

now she text me:

"this is Katherine"


you respond: Katherineeeeeeeeee, what are you doing besides thinking of me and smiling?

then you banter a bit.....

bait: how far do you live?


she answers:



bait 1 with alternative choice close: which one is closer to you downtown lake work or downtown clematis?


we should have a quick meet and greet maybe coffee or a drink to see if the vive/chemistry is there (KEY WORD QUICK, you want to make this as pressure free, and casual and far away from anything formal)


never schedule more than 2 days in the future....

text her the directions.....


You want to get laid, learn second generation verbals, learn 3 bounce, learn the 8 orgasms routine...

p.s. use minimum 4 different platforms.... for example hinge, okkupid, tinder, bumble etc...

have you done this for cold approach? https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/newbie-assignment.34/
 
Last edited:

Troy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 11, 2013
Messages
730
i just want to clarify chase is one of the top guys, but obviously his strategy for whatever reason after you field tested has not worked for you. So time to change that strategy.

Grand pooba has good advice about focusing strongly on something.... My only problem is that i have always had a problem with the community specially when it comes to working out, "i can't workout cause i am focus on biz" wtf, working out takes less than 45 minutes a day?

or i can't get women cause i am focus on working out or biz, but working on women can take as little as less than an hour a day? i rather be consistent and maybe couple of hours on weekends?

My problem with the phone strategy, i think is that the women now a days in my experience don't care about getting on the phone, and getting on the phone may be seen as "desperation" "showing too much interest" certain gurus can get away with the phone because they are extremely good at verbals, teevester gets on the phone with a girl he will have the girl doing jumping jacks naked, but you can't due to so much experience...

I rather you to abandoned that strategy since it has not worked for YOU, and adopt a different strategy... How are you meeting women? if you want to focus on biz, maybe give online a try.... here is what i do after failing at everything, yesterday i did not want to help you cause i have not done online, so before this post i play with it and it worked (not going to post the convo till pipi in vagina, but it worked so far):

opener: i read your profile, (or i saw your profile if nothing in it) and we would never get along, we would have to much fun together... I am troy

pob who is really good at online opens with: Mmmmm, someone here is gonna be trouble (most community had success with the you look like trouble one, this is a variation of it) I would add at the end i am troy

she responds.... you calibrate to her response and say " ready for your test! how happy are you in your life from 1 to 10? ---- the ready for your test is from popcorn/carousel the qualifying question is from bd that took it from style...

if she responds 10 you say: "that is impossible you can't be a 10 cause you have not met me yet"
any number below 10 you respond: "that is cause you have not met me, once you meet me you will go to 10"

if she ask you say this by pob or any variation that has to do with your life but don't talk about car, living your parents etc..:here is pob sample:



note. always finish a question with a question....

last question, what are the 2 best qualities that have nothing to do with your appearance/looks?

She answers, if she asks you used something that is a dhv for example i use:

My sense of humor and my people/relationships skills......

close part 1:

Katherine (or whatever her name this one was the girl last night i field tested), you seem safe enough, and someone worth getting to know, i am barely here, text me at 4444444444, say this is Katherine so i know who you are, if i do not respond right away is not because i am not interested or playing to cool for school, but because i may be busy with clients (or if you do not have clients end it at busy).

^ my goal is to screen, make her invest, and make her jump through hoops and take her out of the platform so it becomes more personlized.

now she text me:

"this is Katherine"


you respond: Katherineeeeeeeeee, what are you doing besides thinking of me and smiling?

then you banter a bit.....

bait: how far do you live?


she answers:



bait 1 with alternative choice close: which one is closer to you downtown lake work or downtown clematis?


we should have a quick meet and greet maybe coffee or a drink to see if the vive/chemistry is there (KEY WORD QUICK, you want to make this as pressure free, and casual and far away from anything formal)


never schedule more than 2 days in the future....

text her the directions.....


You want to get laid, learn second generation verbals, learn 3 bounce, learn the 8 orgasms routine...

p.s. use minimum 4 different platforms.... for example hinge, okkupid, tinder, bumble etc...

have you done this for cold approach? https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/newbie-assignment.34/

P.s. I heard back from Patrice last night. She texted saying "mood swings lately. Sorry love not your fault, Tre (her son) is okay-ish now. need to take him back to the doctor this wednesday.

So what I am going to do is give her space, I already expressed empathy. I might text her again around Wednesday or Thursday this week to ensure her and her son are doing ok and then I will see how she responds and based on that I might ask her out again.

I have been through a lot last week. My business partners, all 3 of them have been super busy with their other businesses and it's starting to make me feel super insecure again. I am feeling like I am working all alone again and I don't know how to get us all on the same page. The stage my business is at, I will either prosper or fail.

I am very lonely at days just working on this business but I have to keep going. I don't have a lot of money left over money to go on dates else it could cause a slow down on my business.

I am going to evaluate this week progress. I contacted my business partners this morning, 2 calls went to voicemail so they probably busy now, no problem I am awaiting to hear from them later on today.

At the moment I cannot make any ultimate decision on what I am going to do. The strongest thought at this point in time is for me to just put girls on hold.

I agree with you @Skills on sometimes multitasking. My strongest thoughts right now is I will continue to do my exercise, it only takes me 1-2 hours per day to stay in shape, based on my current fitness goals. And I will continue to work on my business even harder. My biggest fear right now is my business partners could become too busy making money from their other businesses and decide to stop working with me. So while the iron is hot, I will make the best of my opportunity.

I will do some more thinking and maybe stall women for another 3-6 months.

I appreciate the advice on doing online dating. At the moment that would be a whole other learning curve + women in my country don't really do online dating websites. They mainly do Instagram and Facebook these days and that is a whole other learning curve as well.

My thinking is I really need to get my money in order so that no day job and no business partner can be the determining factor between me succeeding or failing.

I will bookmark your post and look back at this when I have made a decision to get back into dating full speed. And yes I will look into other ways to change up my phone game.

Another important point I want to make is I think the COVID19 has played a big part in the phone game not working out as planned. I find that if too much time goes by and all I am doing is calling and texting girls, their interest eventually fades. If life were different from April I would definitely have cut out all this bonding phone call stuff and just went for the date setup. When I am on dates, I am able to touch women and take them to places where touch is more appropriate and I do better in those environments.

Again I appreciate the advise, I will take this week to evaluate my business and see if I really need to stall women for a couple more months or now.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
4,212
Location
South Florida
P.s. I heard back from Patrice last night. She texted saying "mood swings lately. Sorry love not your fault, Tre (her son) is okay-ish now. need to take him back to the doctor this wednesday.

So what I am going to do is give her space, I already expressed empathy. I might text her again around Wednesday or Thursday this week to ensure her and her son are doing ok and then I will see how she responds and based on that I might ask her out again.

I have been through a lot last week. My business partners, all 3 of them have been super busy with their other businesses and it's starting to make me feel super insecure again. I am feeling like I am working all alone again and I don't know how to get us all on the same page. The stage my business is at, I will either prosper or fail.

I am very lonely at days just working on this business but I have to keep going. I don't have a lot of money left over money to go on dates else it could cause a slow down on my business.

I am going to evaluate this week progress. I contacted my business partners this morning, 2 calls went to voicemail so they probably busy now, no problem I am awaiting to hear from them later on today.

At the moment I cannot make any ultimate decision on what I am going to do. The strongest thought at this point in time is for me to just put girls on hold.

I agree with you @Skills on sometimes multitasking. My strongest thoughts right now is I will continue to do my exercise, it only takes me 1-2 hours per day to stay in shape, based on my current fitness goals. And I will continue to work on my business even harder. My biggest fear right now is my business partners could become too busy making money from their other businesses and decide to stop working with me. So while the iron is hot, I will make the best of my opportunity.

I will do some more thinking and maybe stall women for another 3-6 months.

I appreciate the advice on doing online dating. At the moment that would be a whole other learning curve + women in my country don't really do online dating websites. They mainly do Instagram and Facebook these days and that is a whole other learning curve as well.

My thinking is I really need to get my money in order so that no day job and no business partner can be the determining factor between me succeeding or failing.

I will bookmark your post and look back at this when I have made a decision to get back into dating full speed. And yes I will look into other ways to change up my phone game.

Another important point I want to make is I think the COVID19 has played a big part in the phone game not working out as planned. I find that if too much time goes by and all I am doing is calling and texting girls, their interest eventually fades. If life were different from April I would definitely have cut out all this bonding phone call stuff and just went for the date setup. When I am on dates, I am able to touch women and take them to places where touch is more appropriate and I do better in those environments.

Again I appreciate the advise, I will take this week to evaluate my business and see if I really need to stall women for a couple more months or now.

oh i thought you were meeting your girls online, my bad... I would find a way to drop the partners, and go solo... having biz partners never worked for me...
 
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