Correctly interpreting mixed signals

[Marty]

In How Girls Show Interest, Chase makes it very clear that you should not only be alert to signals she likes you, but you should "outright ignore" lame face-saving cover-ups that immediately follow. For good measure, Chase reemphasizes the same point in Mixed Signals from a Girl: What These Mean.

Would a more experienced member like to review the following acts of compliance I recently received from a girl, and their respective face-saving follow-ups, to ensure that I've correctly understood that she's interested and is just protecting her reputation etc?

• She accepts a date proposal and actually volunteers her phone number, but then says "It's always nice to meet an international person", as if that were the only reason she agreed to meet (we're both Europeans living in the States, though from different countries)
  
  She returns my gaze with deep, intense eye contact throughout the date, but when I decline a social event suggestion, saying I'm not interested in being friends (which should have been clear from my direct opener in cold approach, as well as constant leading touch and excited tension during the date itself), she says "If you'd just been an ordinary American I might not have agreed to see you"
  
  She is receptive to warm touch (putting my arm around her), but backs away from a kiss saying that she is still "confused" owing to her pending divorce

Very interested to hear your perspective/guidance.

 

[mkivtt]

Hmm it sounds like she is interested in you more as a friend than a romantic partner. Something similar happened to me recently where she would tell me "it's nice to meet a person interested in XYZ" or we'd be talking about movies from country A, and she'd say "well, now you have a friend who likes movies from country B." I tried what I could, but I think her mind was already made up at that time that I was a friend and nothing more, even though it was clear as in your case that I asked her out on a date, and she 100% knew my intentions.

Have you tried initiating kino other than putting your arm around her, and if so how does she react? If you aren't sure she really likes you, then just proceed as planned. Until you get the definite "let's just be friends," keep at it, and try to escalate on whatever your next date is. There isn't really an alternative is there? You don't want to ask "do you see me as just a friend," nor have you gotten a clear rejection. So keep working on it. I think the best check would be another kiss during or at the end of whatever your next meeting is. If she declines, you're friend zoned, or you should back off and ignore her for 2-3 weeks to see if she gets back to you... if not, reach out once more to her after that and see if she's more certain about what she wants.