Could use some help wiyh self reflection

[thebest]

Hey guys, I have a sort of meta question today.

A bit of backstory: no matter how hard I try, i always seem to play myself on my goals, intentions with girls etc. This is leading to a lot of self doubt and hesitation with women

I was wondering if anyone had any steps that I could take to really sit down and understand what I want, and how i can quit lying to myself?

 

[Cacc]

Are you saying you don't know what you want?

Can you be more specific?

 

[thebest]

Yes of course man, i originally posted this on my phone while i was out running and thinking about this stuff (hence the typos).

I think the best way for me to describe it would be an example.

Last friday i went on a date with a girl, we went for a drive, we were vibing etc.
all was good except when i suggested we watch tv at my place, we couldent have sex there for logistical reasons.
I took her out to a popular hiking spot where we escalated, she ended up straddling me on a bench and it was going well except..
I couldent bring myself to push forward. (obviously she bailed when i snapped her today, no big loss, this is more about my growth then the situation)
This has happend to me before where i get paralyzed about little things like sex in public, group convos of 4-10, etc.
I am looking for a way to explore and understand why i am having hang ups in these situations, and my usual method of run and think about them is not working.

 

[Cacc]

thebest,

just like with everything else in life, you ask yourself if the fear is rational or irrational.

Being afraid of talking to groups and having sex in public and anything else that isn't real danger are irrational fears.

there really isnt much to say other than you have to power-through. you have to want the reward more than the fear is holding you back. you and only you alone can confront and overcome your fears; you just gotta want it bad enough.