Courage in the Face of

[Zoro]

Hello, welcome to my journal.

First let me tell you a little about myself.
I am 21 and have been enthused by personal growth for a few years now, beginning with nutrition, then spirituality and now I'm on general life and relationships.

My strengths-
-Momentum for personal growth is like a snowball rolling down a mountain.
-I am creative, spontaneous and adventurous.
-I am brave
-eye contact
-fashion/haircut/facial hair is strong and getting stronger
- very aware of peoples emotions
-starting to "own myself" (getting comfortable in my skin)

Areas that need work-
-sexual vibe
-new to providing value (must fine tune)
-rusty creativity
-conversation (I'm being hard on myself with this one)
-my body type is odd. Very skinny (118lbs) yet muscular, working out regularly however and seeing lots of progress.
-too focused on inner game. I have sorted out a lot but want to do less thinking and more doing.
-paranoia although this is getting much better
-approach anxiety
-limiting beliefs tied to my living situation (Sick of the city I'm living in/desire to seek high quality people in other cities)*

*I feel that the people in my city get burnt out from the brutal winters and dead vibe of the city (our main street is literally a ghost town)
There are definitely cool people here, I just know there are many more places with better food, higher concentration of high value people, and happiness!
Thus I am traveling to experience these places.

General Life Past
-Dabbled around with a lot of different career ideas, finally dropped out of school to pursue my own desires to travel the world. Setting up internet business to enable me to do so with intention of committing (end dabbling phase)

Relationships Past
-Always had attractive girls pursuing me while being a complete let down for them. Very timid and sensitive as a teenager.
-Recently have spent less time socializing and more time focusing on self, so I have had less exposure to girls.

General Life Goals
-travel the world in search of a place that has awesome food, people, and vibes
-become successful in my endeavors and career
-spread love and help others

Relationships Goals
-meet lots of women around the world and make friends, both of high quality
-have a healthy sex life/date multiple women/provide value for my relationships
-Handle girls emotions better, I have broken hearts and that hurts both the girls and myself.

 

[Zoro]

...Uncertainty

Tonight marks the first outing I have done purely intent on practicing my seduction skills. Okay, maybe to practice some salsa too. Nontheless I say I got some good experience in and had a fun night!

Earlier in the night however I had my doubts. I was planning on going out to the salsa bar finally (again for, what,the 5th time?), but I was starting to have reservations about it. Instead of getting worked up I decided to do something I had learned from Buddhist and Wingchun philosophy. The buddhists say "what arises, ceases" and Winchun is "polite" in that when a punch is thrown, you do not resist it, but use its energy for yourself.

That being said I just relaxed and talked with someone I met on a language exchange site. I highly recommend this site, called Sharedtalk. Anyways I also read the latest Girlschase articles and browsed about the forums, which would prove helpful tonight (thanks guys). I realized that my reservations about going out might be due to a future focused orientation. I decided to go out after much pondering on this.

So on the way to the bar I realized its 21 and up only, and I had left my wallet with ID back home. Feeling deflated, I quickly inflated myself by remembering "the road to success is riddled with failure" and "get back up when you fall down!" So I turned around and grabbed my gear. One thing about this, I came across a dating advice site for women shown to me by ZacAdam on the boards and looked around to see whats tickin'. An article called something like "how to know if your man is Alpha" mentioned knowing where his keys and wallet are is a trait of alpha. This is apparently because they are tools of importance and an Alpha keeps a close eye on them. Interesting. I certainly have issues remembering where those things are from time to time and this frustrates me!

Fast forward to the bar. I had in mind 3 things to work on, staying calm, eye contact, and sexy smiles. Staying calm proved a very good idea and I think that set up my vibe that made the night a success in my eyes!

I was watching the dancers dance and stood on the sidelines, keeping my cool, and fighting the thoughts of how lame and creepy it is to stand and watch instead of dance! For real though, I learned a lot and enjoyed just watching (I was moving to the beat in my own space, however) and I remember my drum teacher saying how he would go to open mics and just watch before he got comfortable enough to play himself.

I ended up losing the battle with the creeper thoughts and realized my throat was getting dry. I went outside for some air and water and decided to come in with some momentum. With some pondering on time-orientation thanks to Chase, I realized that present-time people jump on opportunities right away and future just thinks about them as the opportunity slinks away out of reach. I climbed into a present mentality and took off.

I saw my dance teachers who host the event and said hi. C, the male instructor wants to learn spanish and we both often joke how we are hispanic and suck at spanish. I told him about memrise and sharedtalk and told him I was going to force him to get good. I think knowing the instructors and having a close relationship with them may have a boost on my preselection.

I was getting much more comfortable watching and decided to open some girls next to me. I opened with "Why arent you dancing?' and they just shook their head! haha. I asked "You know how to dance, right?" and HB8 said in an almost stand offish tone "Yes, Of course we know how to dance!" I just smiled and turned away, back in my own vibe and kept my cool. She ended up reopening me! I forgot what went down exactly but I think my calm vibe and that fact she thought I was cute (she told me rightout) help me score points. I kept to myself I was enjoying my own vibe so I ended the interaction smoothly and went about business.

I wanted to dance after seeing the instructors dance and grabbed the closest woman I knew was open to it. It was an older skinny black woman HB6 maybe? Not my type but we both had fun! I got down like I owned the dance and lead like a leader. I even pulled off a dip that I wanted to try. Before the song ended I asked her name and where she was from and told her it was my first night out dancing. She was suprised, honestly I was too at how well I was doing. I took a lot of lessons before hand, guess I shouldnt be too surprised, but dance floor salsa is certainly different than class.

After I danced with my female instructor, F. It was a totally new ball game. She really is an amazing dancer and dancing with her was so different than HB6. She was basically leading and felt solid compared to the last girl. I decided to take notes and after I asked her about the dance and made sense of it.

Later on it was 8 minutes til I planned on leaving so I wanted to get in one more dance. I decided I wanted to dance with HB8 and would make it happen. I saw her in the back, walked up to her, grabbed her hand with a "we're dancing now" smile and started to dance. This song was bachata so it was a little dirtier and I'm thankful for that.

At the start of dancing with her I was off and she basically started to show me how to even do it! I got the hang real quick and took the lead, which made a 180. I was pulling off move and she started to grind into me real close, hands all over eachother. She had one great body. I used some push pull here, after she pulled away I pulled some moves and separated. When I tried to get her back she kind of dodged and I quickly took the opportunity to dance with her friend. After awhile I turned to HB8 and started to dance with both of them, twirling them. Then I reengaged dancing with HB8. After the song ended I wanted to catch some air. Apparently the girls did too, I might have normally felt weird following them but I've shaken that off, perhaps for good. I wanted to get some air so I was going to do just that darn it! haha

I decided to get the girls number for some experience and thought up a reason to exchange contact info while I went back in to grab my stuff. I came up with "needing a dance partner, who knows how to dance" pfff, nice one. I walked up to her and it went like thus

engaged eyes
Me-Do you ever go to the wednesday night dance?
Me-On swan street?
Her- No, do you?
Me- Yeah sometimes.
Her-Are you single
Me-maybe
Me- are you?
Her- yes, well are you?
Me-maybe yes ( I forgot what I said but it was NOT smooth haha)
Her- are you sure you are?
Me- Yes I'm sure
Her- how old are you?
Me-how old do you think?
Her-20,21
Me-Yeah I'm 21

here I realized this was taking longer and the frame was not what I intended, which was I was there to tell her we should stay in contact and get her number, now it seemed like I was just there to talk and this moment the conversation went stale for a second.

Me- so I'm looking for a dance partner, one who knows how to dance
Her- oh okay
Me- so we should exchange info so we can meet up on dance night < I actually worded this sloppy just cant remember how exactly
Her- why
Me-so we know eachother is here <This is lame I know ha
Her-okay
Her-give me your number
Me-I dont give out my number (remembering Franco had mentioned he rarely gets calls/texts from giving out his number, better to get hers)
Her-why dont you, just give me your number
Me-okay fine (uhm what? I totally messed this up)
Her- why dont you give out your number if you are going to call someone and they will have it anyway?
Me- good question (lol)

I give her my number and then some dudes make some commotion and then I said goodbye and walk off.

Haven't got a text and I dont expect one! haha

Overall I had a great night, learned a lot and feel great!

Things I did good
-Dance well
-open girls I want to talk to
-dressed well
-okay vibe while interacting
-great vibe while off on my own

Things to work on
-freezing up
-harnessing present moment/jumping on oppotunities
-closing
-number close
-remember names X)

Disclaimer - This is a novel sized report which I also rushed through, I will do my best to shorten future posts, improve the quality of them and also to remember the conversations better! If you read this far thanks for reading, I hope you can benefit from my stories.

Be courageous!
-J Wick

 

[Zoro]

Impossibility

I haven't been keeping up with my journal due to being busy with a lot of things.

Now that I am back in College with beautiful ladies abundant I am in the perfect realm to grow. Its time to organize my thoughts. Here we go...

So with approaching anxiety staring me down almost daily, I have beaten it back a bit. I have chatted up a few girls and it felt very natural.
The next steps are to open girls in more difficult situations (so far its just been conveniently placed scenarios, like the girls in my class or both being late)

These more difficult situations being: walking towards me, wearing headphones, and strangely frustrating, walking ahead of me "too far away."
The last bit has lost me a bunch of opportunities to talk to this girl in one of my classes who is very attractive and interesting who is giving me tons of interest looking my way. Fortunately I have maintained good eye contact and the window seems to still be open.

I feel myself wanting to fall into a strange thought I've had of thinking certain times of the year I get into relationships or meet new women. Granted it does seem that early winter I do tend to get involved with a new girl and then late winter some more, whilst the rest of the year is a dry spell.

This is bogus and I am shaking this off, seeing it creep on me in the context of this girl. The situation is similar to a classmate I met freshman year whom it took until winter to hook up. I'm moving on from that mindset.

The girls whom I do open I lack sexual frames and closing. My fundamentals are down well (though there is always room to improve) and I get received warmly often, thus I must push my comfort zone and experience the new! For mine and her(s) sake. Obviously hers is not the correct plural of her but you get the point!

There is another limiting belief that I have been struggling with. I am dealing with a health issue that basically interferes with my energy level. This results in fatigue, lack of inspiration/motivation, lowered sex drive.

This has played out in scenarios where I have a girl in my bed and I am just too out of it to do anything interesting. Sleep is on my mind. Tired of letting down ladies I would have second thoughts at times about even making an attempt to seduce.

Good news is I am taking care of it and will be remedied. The great news is I am done accepting it as an absolute and controlling factor. I am taking the reins here and leading it back to the path of grandeur! It does take more effort and is a challenge. That being said...

The other day I noticed a picture on facebook of a body builder at the gym with a impressive build. A comment said "Why is he at the gym, he's won." I laughed at this just like the other 312 people who liked the comment did. I also thought, if he stops going to the gym he will lose that body!

Then another thought emerged. A lot of great things, if not all of them, are maintained more than achieved. I'm sure Chase and Franco and many others on this blog can attest that the skills learned her are in need of constant maintenance and calibration. Often its imagined that "Oh, I want to be great and then I can finally relax." It's a constant struggle and strangely somehow thats the best part.

Be courageous my friends
-J Wick

PS. These keep coming out too long, maybe I should write more to chop these up into bite sized entries, instead of unloading weeks worth of ponderance and progress.

 

[Zoro]

It obvious how getting hung up on a certain girl can be a waste of time over the long term. It can also be a hindrance short term.

There have been instances where I plan on approaching a girl after class and then she and I do not leave at the same time. The first problem is that I should get over this simple block and just walk up to her as we leave. I have been making it such a big deal.

The other issue was when I would fail to approach, I would beat myself up or think how can I still approach? I stopped this immediately when I noticed other cute girls walking past me! Why am I letting other opportunities pass by?

I may be a ways from true abundance mentality, but I am aware of the abundance of opportunities!

This being said I should be careful of using an excuse like "there will be more girls and opportunities" to not approach, being at the beginner level still dealing with approach issues.

Despite only having done one "true" cold approach, I have been talking to a bunch of girls and getting what looks like interested attention from girls I am also interested in. Although, I still have yet to find out if that positive attention will bear results.

The girls I really want to talk to, I still let walk right on by.

----------------------------------

I need to be careful of beating myself up to much. I have noticed that easing off helps me relax and thus push myself much more effectively.

 

[Zoro]

Fear

It has been awhile since I have posted and I think its time I started again to organize my thoughts.

I have been going through a process of letting go of things I thought were important to me such as traveling, saving the world, and even things like long hair. I have been getting in my own way in other words by thinking too much, about too much.

One issue is figuring out what I want to do for a career. I have many interests but get bored easily, I also want to make good money (really good) and have a desire to travel for adventure and learning. This had ultimately led me to an internet business as being the best option but also requires a lot of work, long hours in front of a screen, and variables and risks. Currently am juggling with other ideas, such as finding a good paying job at home and traveling in my spare time.

I have also become more aware of my tendencies to protect my ego. Coming up with ideas and convincing myself that I can keep doing things the way I have been and still improve with women. This is bogus and I am slowly working my way out of it. Taking risks and exploring outside my comfort zone is my goal. I need to "bleed" a bit as I sometimes put it.

Part of my issues I believe come from my hunger for adventure and my desire to stay comfortable. These ideas conflict and need some balance, perhaps. I have been too comfortable for far too long. I also want to make my parents proud because they have sacrificed so much for me and have been very loving and supportive. I at least want to get off their backs and become autonomous soon. This makes it harder to take risks because of the burden I am placing on my parents.

I think what I can do to improve right now is to cultivate a curiosity for experimenting and adventure. Also pushing myself little by little; in the past I would set unreasonable goals being a beginner. I was a bit overconfident because I am okay with girls in the areas I am comfortable with (although through those means I meet new girls infrequently)

Instead of telling myself I know what to do and attempt to pull off the smoothest seductions which ultimately end with me doing nothing (waiting for the right moment which rarely comes), I will push myself to see what I can do, seizing the moment. Asking myself what do I think will happen, what happened and why?

Talk is cheap and that is basically all I am doing. We will see if I can step up and walk the walk...

 

[Marty]

J Wick,

Hope you don't mind me posting here. Something you wrote struck me as familiar and I wanted to offer a little inspiration, if you can call it that! )

There have been instances where I plan on approaching a girl after class and then she and I do not leave at the same time. The first problem is that I should get over this simple block and just walk up to her as we leave. I have been making it such a big deal.

The other issue was when I would fail to approach, I would beat myself up or think how can I still approach? I stopped this immediately when I noticed other cute girls walking past me! Why am I letting other opportunities pass by?

All very familiar. Tonight, I was grocery shopping and intended to scout the aisles for nice girls when, as so often happens, I found I didn't need to. I'd barely entered the store when I saw an extraordinary-looking girl selecting flowers. I wasn't really ready for it and didn't collar her immediately while she was isolated.

Soon after, she was in the checkout line and I was kicking myself. I got the rest of my groceries and subtly observed her progress.

As she collected her purchases after checking out and was putting away her cart, I briefly abandoned my own cart, walked empty-handed through the checkouts and opened her.

"Have you got a second? You have an amazing look about you, and I wanted a chance to say hi before you left the store."

"Oh... Thank you!" It was true, too. I am 6'0" and she towered above me in heels and a stunning dark green outfit. She had luscious, jet-black hair and generous facial features, with a slim body to die for.

I asked her name, took her hand briefly but hesitated a split second and she left. Next time, I have it all worked out! "Wait... Don't go just yet! I hardly know anything about you." ...and proceed toward a deep-dive. May we learn from our mistakes, and push ourselves to the limit, rather than "phoning in failure" as per Chase's recent article.

You see: these timing issues are so often mere excuses. I just proved it to myself! So I went and finished my shopping afterward... it will wait!

 

[Zoro]

Thanks for inspiration Marty. It funny how many obstacles we place in our own way. I have heard that pickup is the one of the most difficult things a man can do, because at the essence it is about becoming a man who conquers himself. I like the quote "a mountain is climbed one step at a time." Puts it into perspective.

 

[Zoro]

I feel like I am in a whirlwind of information and theory mixed with my own doubts and excuses.
I feel like I have a lot of things down except the most useful and basic skill which is approaching!

I really have to simplify things and organize myself because I am starting to lose my cool.

So perhaps taking on the 3 things to work on at time approach will do me some good.
I'm going to start with as basic as I can be.

-eye contact
-staying calm
-opening (saying anything to girls I'm interested in, just to break the ice on my approach anxiety)

 

[Zoro]

Plan went well! Here's how the day went...

1-First class there is a cute girl there but let this one slip by since she stayed after class.

2-Second class there are a couple cuties with one girl I got my eye on (think she has her eye on me too)
To get in a more social mood I talk to the girl next to me (cute) and we have a good conversation.

This is a drawing class with a live nude model and the model is cute as well. Have thought about chatting up her but still freeze up.
Leaving class I ask the girl I have my eye on and her cute friend how their drawings went. The conversation was natural and enjoyable.

Eyegirl parts way and I continue walking with friend, I noticed that they both have these intense beautiful green eyes and I ask friend if her eyes are really that color or just contacts. This could have gone well if I would have stated how I really felt about her eyes which was that they are beautiful yet I said "cool." Learning, learning , learning. Also sometimes I get weird about leaving conversations when I have to walk in a different direction suddenly. What I did this time was just slow down and communicated I was parting purely nonverbal. This whole conversation including eye girl was pretty enjoyable and natural, except for that how "eyes are cool" thing.

3-Walk around a bit and she an old friend from high school (cute) and call after her. We chat about drawing for a bit and I have to part and signal this non-verbally again. This is so simple I was totally over thinking it lolol

4- Last class there are a couple cute girls one I have an eye on. Normally I am quiet but hold eye contact with her. Today we sat near each other and had some conversation. I was thinking yeah this is great but what about after class when I feel burnt out after sitting for an hour and a half and then go to close. Have to work on that whole attitude. After class I just go straight to car.

5- Later I go to the market with my father and brother who drive me up the wall. They are like two wrecking balls in the grocery store. There are carrots on the floor, nuts spilling from the container, my brother is man handling all the produce. This puts me on edge. I like this in a strange way because it is like preforming under added pressure like some kind of weird workout for social skills. I see a cute girl and try to wrap my head around something to say. I think she has cool hair and want to compliment her. This is a totally fine opener yet I freeze up and let the opportunity pass.

Notes. This made me realize I am somewhat comfortable opening girls in a social circle, warm environment (parties, class) but freeze when wanting to approach girl cold (street, grocery store)
My father had some good advice which is to just talk to everybody cold. Just get used to approaching people cold, then move to cute girls, then to their numbers (in his words)
So tomorrow I am continuing working on those 3 things (eye contact, staying calm, opening girls I'm interested in) and just talking to people in general.
I have a tendency to get fatigued easily and its something I think is largely just in my head.

Manwhore from manwhore.org has got some advice that resonates with me and specifically about being in the now and doing with less thinking. I actually remember having more of this mentality and life being way more awesome. Time to jump in!

 

[Zoro]

Yesterday I was so out of it, strange head space like it felt good to be in my own head. I just let myself be. I tend to overwhelm myself so I took it as a rest day.

Today I was feeling similar just without the pleasantness.
In class, the cute girl next to me complimented my drawing and was initiating conversation. I, being closed up, let the conversation die after awhile and decided to pick it up after class. Great idea if I didn't have such an issue with talking to girls after class if we don't leave at the exact same time! Lesson learned again?

Next class I talked a bit more direct than ever before with the cute girl here. She's always giving me looks and we keep eye contact. I wouldn't have gotten away with doing nothing for so long if she wasn't into me.

I'm realizing that my way of going about life is just so miserable. I am too serious and lethargic. If I can shake off that and put some life and fun into my routine again, I'm sure I can do all the things I've been struggling with. Maybe I am not afraid to talk to new girls and open them, its just I imagine how doing it with such a miserable and tired vibe will be so much work and have a higher fail rate than being my "true self."

Manwhore from Manwhore.org has a very playful, upbeat vibe and he reminded me of how living life can be. Vibrant and joyful. He's a bit of inspiration.
Also watched some Sasha and James Marshall infield pickup videos. I always thought they were kind of strange and played up their success, but I'm starting to have a change of heart and I see that what they definitely have going for them is a joy of life and the balls to approach and close.

Now just to inject some life into me!
-J Wick

 

[Marty]

J Wick:

Next class I talked a bit more direct than ever before with the cute girl here. She's always giving me looks and we keep eye contact. I wouldn't have gotten away with doing nothing for so long if she wasn't into me.

You need to do something about this one double quick, or you are going to be kicking yourself so hard you won't know what's hit you. I can just feel it.

I wrote something to Estate the other day which has worked well for me in the past and spiked attraction. I'm no expert as you know, but I think you could try it. She already knows you; now let her know you like her. She'll appreciate your directness and courage.

And J Wick, if she politely brushes you off or even laughs at you (unlikely), you'll still be happier that you tried, rather than disappointed that you were too hesitant—believe me. Been there )

-Marty

 

[Zoro]

Thanks Marty, I agree with you. And I like that "re-open direct" idea.

Logically speaking the next step is just that. I doubt there much more room for hesitation. We are familiar with each other and the subtle signs of attraction are ringing on both ends.

And if my gut is right, she'd be disappointed if nothing happened as well.

I appreciate your input, it is a great boon to my focus and confidence having support from people who know what I'm going through!

Thanks,
J Wick

 

[Zoro]

I've been totally out of it lately. I have these dark lines under my eyes from poor sleep.

Friday
- started a new job at a retail store where a lot of cute girls are going to be, and its at the main mall. Should be fun and excellent for meeting girls.
-still having trouble getting myself to approach. Though I am feeling more inclined to do it. Sounds odd but I feel my inner game improving. I am so uptight and could use a little more personality. I can feel I stifle myself.
-took it easy to catch up on sleep.

Saturday
-hung out with a friend who is kind of good with girls. He's also kind of got some bad habits. Either way I think I can learn something from him. I think he would be down to be a wingman for daygame too. I should remember to ask him about that.
-Went to the mall. TONS OF PEOPLE. A bunch of cute girls. Saw a cute girl with interesting hair. Easy, genuine opener, "You have some cool hair." There are better openers but I need to just break the ice on this approach thing. Anyway freeze up again. I'm dressed in some good looking clothes and getting lots of looks by the way. I'm totally all in my head and missing so many opportunites. ARGHHHHH!
-take another night easy
-doing some online dating, I got a few conversations going. One, is getting kind of freaky and sexual, another is really into me and wants to meet (got her number), another I'm into but the conversation was slowing so I proposed a new method of communication (video chat/phone call)
-online dating is my crutch right now, though I may actually need some crutches. I see it helping me to improve my conversation, witty remarks, and sexual frames.

Side note - definitely addicted to computer. I have to find some better things to do and get out of the house more even if it's freezing outside. Falling behind on my homework.

-Also I am being very hard on myself. I actually have cold approached before a few times. I forgot a few instances, even asking girls out in person. Things I thought I hadn't done. I wonder if I have done other things that would impress myself and I just don't remember? haha

 

[Zoro]

DISCLAIMER. much of this may be jumbled up and confusing to follow. Its just me getting all my ideas down.

So last time I was talking about a few things.

Online addiction - I think I have this handled. The way I did this was only allowing myself to use the computer for 15 mins at a time and then take a break either 15, 30 mins or an hour. my pick. This worked wonders.

Approach anxiety - gaining progress with this, my new job is helping immensely. Basically force myself to greet everyone near by and do so in a calm and tactful manner. Now saying hi to strangers is simply a habit.

Now a few things I have been thinking about.

I have stumbled upon a few guys over the years who inspire me. Russel Brand, Manwhore, Liam McRae, many members of this community and recently Thomas of boytoystory.com. All These men live life. They live with a purpose to enjoy and spread love and joy. They are playful and badass at the same time and they also get laid a lot. Each one does so in their own way.

These guys also carry a mind set that pervades their behavior. Concerning this today specifically I was talking to two cute girls I know, both of whom I think are interested in me. The one asked me if its true I am looking for a girl, because of something from class. I quickly said no without thinking. In hindsight if I would have thought to say, "Actually yeah, two hispanic girls, do you know of any?" that might have been much more fun. (they are both hispanic) Just being unbashful in my interest in women.

I have been talking to more girls lately and now realize I am getting over approach anxiety only to have closing anxiety! haha Just another hurdle to pass and I'm fine with that.

At work there are many gorgeous girls frequenting the store. I think it best to practice explicitly and direct outside of work until I get over my anxiety of it and understand more signs of interest so as to be careful about my employment! Another thought, I can just meet enough girls out of work!

Also I have been using compliments as a casual friendly opener and got a good reaction from a girl who was turned away, complemented me back. Then another time I complemented a girl who was turned away, she looked at me like I stepped on her foot. I think getting eye contact with her before I complemented her she would have liked it. To her I'm sure it was strange to just come up on someone like that. Now the other girl did not care. Interesting and I'm sure with the girl who was receptive if I would have made eye contact first she would have liked it even more.

Also noticed something else with opening so many people at work. Opening while moving slow intently or standing still is more powerful than walking past them and unengaged in the opening. obvious but something easily looked over. This reminds me of how I lost two girls interest when I broke eye contact and walked to their other side of them to look at some shirts. This was probably seen as a subtle end to the interaction.

Importance of doing. Ideas are just ideas until they are acted on and made into something. I have so many ideas, writing a book(s), many facets of being a musician, traveller, just to name a few. I need to organize my thoughts and goals.

Quick list of goals,
Travel
make money passively
get better with women
become fluent in spanish, then japanese, then german, then.....!

Just want to add those role models I mentioned have helped me to throw away lots of bad habits. And hopefully pick up good ones

 

[Zoro]

Re: Experiences change everything.

Met this girl on Tinder. Love this app.

Exchanged a few things.

Set up date for the next day and got her number.

Hold out on address, just to make her wonder and get a little excited whether or not its going to go down.

Around 6 (dates at 7) day of, I text her the details.

NO reply.

During this time I wonder if I should follow up but then realized what I already sent would serve as enough to reply to, considering the circumstance of already having the date set.

So, I think no sweat, if it doesnt work out thats fine, there are plently more girls and if I show her that it really is the case then she will be more likely to meet up later, maybe even tonight.

I get a reply around 8, asking if I still want to meet up, an hour after the date was scheduled.

Her excuse was she forgot her phone somewhere.

I guide her to my house and let her in.

She's cute but much shorter than I expected. (one of many downfalls in online dating expectations, better to have none hope for the best, prepare for the worst and expect the unexpected)

So before she came I meditated which felt great.

I was thinking how the plan I set up for the date (watch ironman) was too much like the plans that I Am trying to break from. I want to be able to escalated without needing a movie. This plan because so far this way is way too comfortable for me and slow and not exciting for me. I actually don't really like watching movies lol.

My meditation said just go with the flow and stay in the moment. I said ok.

So we are watching the movie. I just read 60 days of challenge and they bring up a good point about tension always being there and talking only lightens it.

I basically say nothing and ramp up tension, wielding it like a sword. I rather feel comfrotable in so called "awkward situations" so I navigate this well.

Wathcing the movie I am thinking this is NOT what I want to do. It took a while to internalize and then realize then why the fuck am I doing it. We were exchanging boring conversation, I was learning that I was NOT into her more than sexually by talking about the commercials. *All this talk about commercials was turning me off.*

Though, there was Incidental touching throughout.....

I did learn a bit about her though, useful things, that made me realize I need to set the expectation right, that all I want is some fun and we can have fun and do it in a way that we will both enjoy. Watching the move and talking was setting the wrong expectation.

I turn off teh tv and tell her I want to stretch out and shes in my way. She kicks me. I say, "Do you want to go there?" in a playful tone. She mentions slapping me a couple times during the night which I play up and tell her to. I rather like being slapped, bitten, scratched so I often tell girls to. She's taken off guard by this. I am comfortable now and she mentions she's tired. So i grab her from the other side of the couch and say then get more comfortable. Now we are cuddling and I have her right where I want her.

I have to admit I am still wary about escalating so dominantly and quickly or rather I was last night. Now after seeng how well it works and how much both of us love it, I am more confindent with it. The thoughts going through my head were, "She wants to be treated like a woman and she wants me to be a man. Waiting around for her to make a move is her job. My job is to make the move. She wants it, give it to her. Overstep your comfort zone, get rejected if you have to, even if you do, she will be hot for the attempt and I can bounce back"

So I kind of fell back into the same comfortable date setup (watching a movie), but I see that my process is well laid out just needs to be re-worked. I basically look for signs of interest and willingness to move forward and then act on it. But, before I was playing too safe, I can totally play too risky and still get results, more likely much better results.

Though, I have a feeling since this girl was rather inexperienced, she might have been overloaded with me coming on faster and stronger.

While we were cuddiling I was "squirmy" as I call it. Moving around getting comfortable, trying to get her used to me touching her. It kind of is coming from a fearful place, beating around the bush.

I touched her face and lips and massaged her back she was totally comfortable with all of it. I even put my fingers in her mouth. But I realized during this that I can be squirmy and manhandle her around and she would love it. Since I"m new to it it wasnt such good man handling, but I will get better.

The conversation was pretty unexciting. I also took my time and allowed her to wonder what was going to happen and even think that nothing was. Eventually we had our faces close and I manhandled her into one of my favorite positions, her on top. She's kept saying things like "omg you."

She just looks at me and my hand goes down her pants to grab her ass. I bring her face close to my lips and just let the space between fill with tension. I feel her feeling it and squirmy under it. I kiss lightly and back off. I do this very slow seductive kissing and take control of the tempo. I eventually lick her lips slow and play with her tongue. I imagine I am eating her out while I am licking her mouth and convey this sexualness, it gets me hot too.

I grab her ass firmly and eventually make my way to her wet puss. I play with it while we make out, or kind of make out. She didn't know how to... I also taught her how to bite. She barely nibbled. So I stopped everything. Implied nothing more was going to happen until she bit me right. So she did.

Then eventually she said this is as much as we are doing, mister. At first I didnt know what she was taking about then it processed then it went out the other ear. I just looked at her and asked if she was going to slap me. I don't know if she did here I forgot but she gave my a nice light slap eventually. I'm used to this kind of resistance. Its like stoking a fire. She wasn't warm enough and I wouldnt eventually be able to get her warm enough but I wasn't all that warm for her either.

I was a little concerned about her age too, if she really was 18, so I decided I would find out before we did anything else. I asked her about school and she said some weird things that didnt add up. Then, I remembered her work, perhaps its a place she needs to be 18 to work at. So I asked her how long she worked there and when her birthday was. 1 month, score. She also drove here past 9 and talked about college. I was confident now she was of age.

We made out a bit more and then I got on top and drive hump fucked her good. Wanted to play with her boobs but, oh well.

She didnt want to leave and I wanted to play more. But, I knew it would be better to let her out like I was cool with it and then realized I really was okay with it. There will be more times and girls I'm more interested in to come.

Overall, I learned some valuable lessons about escalation and the male role in it. Dominance is fun and more nuanced than I thought. It is an art and less about force than I thought. Its almost like finessely guiding with confiendence and power while gauging her response. No wonder experience is so necessary!

 

[Zoro]

Cocktail Party

Last night, party at Minnie's

Get there and only girls around I really like 60 years (or is days?) of Challenge's idea of tension always being there, talking just breaks it up.

I just sat there and chilled, listening to the girls, only asking questions I was genuinely interested in and feeling calm and cool just sitting there making good eye contact.

There was one gilr at the table whom I had my eye on. She was tall and if I didnt know about how well make up works I'd have thought she was out of this world. I am more aware of human flaws now and see she also didnt have much of an ass. Regardless she was turning me on, I quite like being able to be aroused like that. Through out the night I deep dived her. I should have touched her a little more and isolated her and got her number or even hooked up there, I like the idea of "our little secret" hook ups. She was on the fence about me but I would have liked to see how I could have done witha little more bold action, before she left unexpectedly (move fast!).

There was another girl who came with a boy friend. This girl, I wanted pretty bad, making quite the stir in my pants. She was cool and had a great body and a very cute face with dreadlocks. This girl was fun and bubbly, great smile. Her and I were hitting it off, I think she was into me. I should have moved things forward even though boyfriend was there, number or something man. Apparently, he's moving to hawaii anyway!

Minnie Mouse I was touching a lot and I'm finding girls love to be touched, its true. Tonight, I was working on touch. Also, just walking up to girls and casually talking or not even talking, just being there rasing the tension is awesome.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Actually had a date with Minnie the next day. I mentioned casually that we should watch a movie together (I use this date template too much! haha).

As I left we agreed on the next day.

She came over all cute. I took her up to my room and started to put on the movie. We got under the covers. This is where I want to be more relaxed and cool about touch. What I did was, got us more comfortable and situated us so we were spooning although this was after like 5-10 mins of figuring out what to do (face palm). Really got to work on my vibe, my frame, my sexiness. I have to get it in my head that it WILL screen girls out. And I should be screening them asap, from the very first moments of meeting.

I turned her around, she was resistant. I like to tangle my legs up with my girls, its warm and intimate. Minnie was all like "J-wick!"

I was touching her and rubbing her all over. She was giving me resistance and I was having a tummy ache. I have a feeling that the possibilities for so much more fun for the both of us is under the covers here. Just need to wipe away all the little boy habits and become the sexy man!

 

[Zoro]

Re: Salsa Salsa

Love Salsa man!

Last night I couldn't find the beat, but went on dancing to practice. The best dancers here are always dancing. There are some elderly men here who can hardly move that lead their women with dominance and skill that comes from experience. The best male dancers can lead even unexperienced women through difficult moves with ease, making them both look like amazing dancers.

Earlier, I was at home feeling lame and down on myself but since normally I would probably wack off at this time (25 days free of porn) I realized I have to find something fulfilling to do! So I went out and bought the ingriedents for the recipe I want to make and went to a salsa event. Both great ideas.

There were a couple of cute girls there.

I should have asked for the one girls number. I was so keen on taking the cute asian home that I froze up on all the other possibilities.

I am pretty good or at least getting much better at texting becuase I have lots of experience and pushed my boundaries (out of comfort zone) Now its time to do the same in face to face. I will say I did push the comfort a little bit since i was planning on sleeping at home and I did stay til the end of the night, also danced with the more experienced girls who usually give me bored looks while dancing ;P.

The asian seemed a little into me but all my interactions were so friendly, no sexual tension (well maybe a little with my good eye contact, but my friendly topics surely eleviated that pressure) I'm sure if I had created a better vibe, a more sexual vibe, that asian lady would have been down for more.

Didn't smell to good either, I usually smell okay with a manly musk, tonight was just body odor. I realized that I need to push my boundaries even if I smell bad (though that needs to be taken care of.) I should still go about my business picking up women or whatever I want to do! I have a friend who inspires me, he has a great mindset, at least I like to think he does. He is always calm and always pushing himself. Keeping him in mind helps reframe my own mindset.

Something that was good was having abundance mentality during the night and dancing with many girls ("I can dance/ meet with more women and even if nothing happens tonight there are more women out there!")
When getting rejected, being unfazed almost as if shes only teasing, (sometimes its a test right?) and then calibrating to her warmth towards me and warm her up to pull again.

I learned that cuban men apparently face rejection completely unfazed and are persistent. I was channeling my latino energy!

But, I was a bit uncomfortable with asking Asia Cutie to come home, "what are you up to after this?" because it felt so out of place. My frame was friendly, not sexy or intriguing and she was warm to me in a friendly way although I sensed some interest underneath that could have been coaxed out had I been more sexy.
She slipped away, I barely tried.

Bottom line.
Create a more sexual/slower vibe
-close
-push boundaries
-It is an art, need more experience!

I also think that there is an interesting similarity in dancing to picking up women. There are certain moves that must be followed in a dance and in seduction (taking the lead, making the woman attracted) that must be learned and followed through for a beginner.

The more experienced you are, the more comfortable you are with those moves and the ability to break or bend the rules to your style becomes possible. However, a straying too far from the basic moves means it is no longer that specific dance and now a new dance. If we want to dance the seduction dance, we must follow the moves to a certain degree (give women what they want) and putting your personal spin on it is your style.

 

[Zoro]

Intensity

I want to remember this...

Make her love it or hate it.

 

[Zoro]

Had a date with a girl I met a couple years ago, she is taller than me, legs that go on for days, has a very unique and attractive face, and a bad girl style (stylish punk, shes a model) As you can sure tell, I want this girl.

I am aware of the pitfalls of being too invested in a girl, I definitely have questionable amounts of that with this girl. Even so, I like the swell of emotion and unstableness that I am learning to observe and take care of. I am taking this situation as a learning situation for other girls that I find ridiculously attractive.

Long story short, she invited me over because her parents were not home today (friday) My heart was pounding all day and I meditated on the sensation. I eventually ended up in such a comfortable and powerful state. I felt amazing and in the moment. Like a rock in a creek letting the pass over. More like a rock that is also a crocodile. Something came up though and she rescheduled for the next day. No sweat I was on my way to the grocery store and had planned to go out to the salsa bar after the date. I also took sometime to check out the bar scene which I usually do not do. I was early though and apparently odd people come at this time. bla bblah

At the salsa bar I was feeling good from the night. I was talking to people and go into some cool and fun conversations. I danced with a bunch of girls. I danced with two girls at once, for the third time now. This time it was two tall hot blondes. They were a bit reserved and cold but playful enough. If I was a better dancer, I could have put the moves on both of them with the saucy song that was playing. I handled it well enough for my experience. They did seem kind of bored however. I might have felt a slight intrigue coming from them, maybe because I had the balls to dance with both of them. Next time I will know better. I love the idea of dancing with two girls and showing them both I can handle them just as well. Can anyone say perfect setup for a threesome? All in theory for now though...

Later I saw a girl who turned me on the other night who seemed into me. I danced with her on a fun song and got real close and physical. I had a boner, I bet she felt it. Later I asked for her number and she declined. After reading Colt's article on "learning the art of seduction" I feel that I am still figuring out the "code" as he says. Part of the missing pieces of code are understanding what girls want.

At one point I had no partners. I was getting too picky. Next time I should be a lot less picky.

Also the next day Tall&Sexy rescheduled again for monday...


--------------------------

Monday

date planned with Tall & Sexy

I texted her in the morning and she replied asking for my address. I sent it to her. Seems all good. I told her the time to come over days ago (5pm) and didn't think it necessary to remind her.

I was playing it too cool and just wanted to see what she would do. I think I put too much pressure on her. Around 630 I texted her saying "You can come now" maybe I should have addded the to make it not so monotone and uninterested sounding.

Perhaps I am reading too much into it. I am very attracted to her and I was confident she was coming over. This kind of threw my for a loop! This kind of thing excites me, I love the game of seduction! Though, I play to win for us both and this ended up with a loss for both ;(

I ended up calling her at 8, to see if it was indeed the pressure and try to coax her over with some smooth, sexy talk.

Didn;t pick up, in fact may have rejected the call! So now I'm just cutting my losses and moving on.

 

[Zoro]

Great Quote

Colt Williams posted a great article today and I want to remember this quote from it.


"However, you should realize that just as much as you’re searching for a high-value girl, a girl is “searching” (albeit usually more passively) for a great guy to meet as well. Most of the time a girl is simply living her ordinary life: talking to her friends, going to her job, and playing Candy Crush. They are not some secret agents who don’t have time to get tied down interacting with a high-value man."