- Joined
- Jan 5, 2014
- Messages
- 3,225
Sorry for the long story my dudes but I really need to add context to all of this.
I work for a very large company and thankfully, we went remote due to COVID-19. Now I had an odd situation back in early 2019 when I was getting back into the swing of things and cold approaching, tbh it was a very fun experience and I was in an odd place in life. @Grand Pooba did a series on this but I think my situation is slightly more unique.
My city has a very concentrated nightlife in certain areas so it is not an NYC or anything. The company I work for has a work clique of former frat guys and former sorority girls, it draws a lot from that demographic. Not sure how much more I need to specify but a large amount of these kids were from the east coast (a lot from Long Island and quite a few of Italian descent so maybe my east coast fellas can chime in). The clique itself was a very tight one of former frat guys and sorority girls who treated everything like high school and let you know if you are not "in". A couple guys in it would not even make eye contact and one even talked down to me. It is a very douchy clique.
In some ways, this ordeal caused me to look into cold approaching even more and it became fun for me.
This happened in summer of 2019.
I went out and did cold approaches for a couple months and from that, I was able to form light social circles. I got in good with some Euro girls (one Polish and one Hungarian girl dating a black dude who kinda reminds you of Andre 3k, both very hot), a California girl, and even made friends with a couple from Wisconsin (two beautiful blonde people where the guy looked like JJ Watt and the girl like Heidi Klum) who introduced me to this hot Latina chick out with them that night. Over the next month, I kind of share the story of my work environment with the couple, the two girls, and the California girl as I get to know them better. I have already fucked the Polish girl and the California girl, both seem cool with it.
One night we go out to a popular club in town, it is me with the couple, two Euro girls (along with Hungarian girl's boyfriend), the California girl with her friend, and a couple of guys who are friends with the couple. I see one of the coworkers (some short Italian dude from Long Island) who once again, ignores me which I am cool with, and go up to talk to the Hungarian girl, her boyfriend, and Polish girl. We are having a good time and come to find, Italian dude and one other coworker approach them in front of me while putting a hand on my shoulder saying they know me. I give that awkward look to the girl lightly shaking my head so the girls ignore the guys and I talk to the girls before telling the guys "we're going through something personal right now, I'll get back to you in a second".
I stick with the group and soon the California girl and her friend join us. We have a good time chatting and dancing but one of the guys (the Italian) smacks the Hungarian girl on the ass which pisses her off and then says "yo my boy (my name)" is a player, the black guy gets mad at the dude who says to him "sup my nigga"....yeah they're douchy and drunk.
The couple get involved and I am shaking my head giving these guys a weird look, luckily my circle knows what is going on. I avoid the guys and the guy in the relationship who is a foot taller and very muscular challenges them for harassing the girl, it is now 3 on 2 with a pissed off black guy and me telling them to cut it out. The other guy makes a snide comment about how I am lower on the work totem pole or whatever. It cools down a bit and the wander off, I am getting intimate with the Polish girl to where we make out and then come to find behind us we keep hearing "rejected rejected". Apparently my two coworkers were still trying their luck with the California girl and her friend who rejected them. As the night ends they actually go home with the two buff guys yelling rejected, me and Polish girl only slightly look back but start making out, not wanting to mock someone when they are down.
I took home the Polish girl that night and had some great sex, we even had a laugh about it while California girls went home with one of the dudes who were yelling rejected, they used the dudes (who were quite well built) as defense against my two drunk douchey coworkers.
Shit really goes downhill.
I come back to work next week and one of the guys (five total in the clique that cause me troubles, two from that night) starts trying to be friends with me after being very rude and condescending. Some girls in their cliques have also worked together to at times to make my life tricky.
Says in front of management "my guy has all the ladies!". He is more charming than the other two but again, sucks with women only drunkingly approaching them in bars and getting rejected until some desperate girl occasionally goes with him. I try to avoid the clique where the guys are now trying to get me to introduce them to women after that night, I know their angle and that they want to use me.
A couple of these guys, from what someone in the office not a part of the clique knows, were rumored to drug girls in college and be domineering towards women, even abusive. No way I am not letting these guys near women I care about so I gently reject them but make up excuses to not hang out, even though they were quite pushy with it.
Social life aftermath and my pickup spots being compromised.
A month later, Polish girl has to move to California which sucks but we have sex in her empty apartment, it was some of the best sex I have had. I go out some more, solo at times even though I hang out with the two couples (blondes and Hungarian chick + her boyfriend) who are good friends. Occasionally go out with California girls. As I go out solo though, I keep running into my coworkers since city only has only a strip of bars.
The issue is, they keep crashing my set as I cold approach girls. One of them even tries to AMOG me outright by talking to girls I am talking to and when I ignore him, he knows my name so he uses that against me. It happened to me 6 different times in 2019 and I have only dealt with it three times, two situations where they were being so drunk and belligerent the bouncer threw them out and once when the girl herself just told them to fuck off. The other 3 times were a failure where none of us got anything, twice they used girls in their clique to crash an approach I was doing but the girl I was chatting with creeped out and left.
I feel like after initially excluding me, my coworkers were trying to barge their way into my life and I have no interest in having them in it due to how toxic they are. Even at work, they spread rumors saying I was always partying on weekends and such but luckily two managers see through their crap (one is a Jewish woman who hates their stereotype anyways).
One of the managers (Jewish woman) sat me down and said to keep doing what I am doing, she knows how those types of people operate. The other coworkers not in the clique feel very disrespected and see their nonsense, it has made them have enough.
I've made friends with two coworkers I have gone out and had fun times with who vouch for me.
After 2020, one of the two guys who harassed me at night has been fired of harassment during a company trip, the other guy quit, but three still remain and they are more calculated in a way. Remote work after COVID-19 has been a god send for me to not deal with that but I feel like as an inexperienced dude who has only recently saw success with remote work that I could have handled this better.
It's like these people who hated me initially now want to barge their way into the life I have built and take what I have earned, using whatever means necessary. Also comes to show that frat guys do not get laid that after college.
Any advice for the future and how anyone can deal with this scenario?
@Skills
@Grand Pooba
@ anyone who is good with social dynamics
I work for a very large company and thankfully, we went remote due to COVID-19. Now I had an odd situation back in early 2019 when I was getting back into the swing of things and cold approaching, tbh it was a very fun experience and I was in an odd place in life. @Grand Pooba did a series on this but I think my situation is slightly more unique.
My city has a very concentrated nightlife in certain areas so it is not an NYC or anything. The company I work for has a work clique of former frat guys and former sorority girls, it draws a lot from that demographic. Not sure how much more I need to specify but a large amount of these kids were from the east coast (a lot from Long Island and quite a few of Italian descent so maybe my east coast fellas can chime in). The clique itself was a very tight one of former frat guys and sorority girls who treated everything like high school and let you know if you are not "in". A couple guys in it would not even make eye contact and one even talked down to me. It is a very douchy clique.
In some ways, this ordeal caused me to look into cold approaching even more and it became fun for me.
This happened in summer of 2019.
I went out and did cold approaches for a couple months and from that, I was able to form light social circles. I got in good with some Euro girls (one Polish and one Hungarian girl dating a black dude who kinda reminds you of Andre 3k, both very hot), a California girl, and even made friends with a couple from Wisconsin (two beautiful blonde people where the guy looked like JJ Watt and the girl like Heidi Klum) who introduced me to this hot Latina chick out with them that night. Over the next month, I kind of share the story of my work environment with the couple, the two girls, and the California girl as I get to know them better. I have already fucked the Polish girl and the California girl, both seem cool with it.
One night we go out to a popular club in town, it is me with the couple, two Euro girls (along with Hungarian girl's boyfriend), the California girl with her friend, and a couple of guys who are friends with the couple. I see one of the coworkers (some short Italian dude from Long Island) who once again, ignores me which I am cool with, and go up to talk to the Hungarian girl, her boyfriend, and Polish girl. We are having a good time and come to find, Italian dude and one other coworker approach them in front of me while putting a hand on my shoulder saying they know me. I give that awkward look to the girl lightly shaking my head so the girls ignore the guys and I talk to the girls before telling the guys "we're going through something personal right now, I'll get back to you in a second".
I stick with the group and soon the California girl and her friend join us. We have a good time chatting and dancing but one of the guys (the Italian) smacks the Hungarian girl on the ass which pisses her off and then says "yo my boy (my name)" is a player, the black guy gets mad at the dude who says to him "sup my nigga"....yeah they're douchy and drunk.
The couple get involved and I am shaking my head giving these guys a weird look, luckily my circle knows what is going on. I avoid the guys and the guy in the relationship who is a foot taller and very muscular challenges them for harassing the girl, it is now 3 on 2 with a pissed off black guy and me telling them to cut it out. The other guy makes a snide comment about how I am lower on the work totem pole or whatever. It cools down a bit and the wander off, I am getting intimate with the Polish girl to where we make out and then come to find behind us we keep hearing "rejected rejected". Apparently my two coworkers were still trying their luck with the California girl and her friend who rejected them. As the night ends they actually go home with the two buff guys yelling rejected, me and Polish girl only slightly look back but start making out, not wanting to mock someone when they are down.
I took home the Polish girl that night and had some great sex, we even had a laugh about it while California girls went home with one of the dudes who were yelling rejected, they used the dudes (who were quite well built) as defense against my two drunk douchey coworkers.
Shit really goes downhill.
I come back to work next week and one of the guys (five total in the clique that cause me troubles, two from that night) starts trying to be friends with me after being very rude and condescending. Some girls in their cliques have also worked together to at times to make my life tricky.
Says in front of management "my guy has all the ladies!". He is more charming than the other two but again, sucks with women only drunkingly approaching them in bars and getting rejected until some desperate girl occasionally goes with him. I try to avoid the clique where the guys are now trying to get me to introduce them to women after that night, I know their angle and that they want to use me.
A couple of these guys, from what someone in the office not a part of the clique knows, were rumored to drug girls in college and be domineering towards women, even abusive. No way I am not letting these guys near women I care about so I gently reject them but make up excuses to not hang out, even though they were quite pushy with it.
Social life aftermath and my pickup spots being compromised.
A month later, Polish girl has to move to California which sucks but we have sex in her empty apartment, it was some of the best sex I have had. I go out some more, solo at times even though I hang out with the two couples (blondes and Hungarian chick + her boyfriend) who are good friends. Occasionally go out with California girls. As I go out solo though, I keep running into my coworkers since city only has only a strip of bars.
The issue is, they keep crashing my set as I cold approach girls. One of them even tries to AMOG me outright by talking to girls I am talking to and when I ignore him, he knows my name so he uses that against me. It happened to me 6 different times in 2019 and I have only dealt with it three times, two situations where they were being so drunk and belligerent the bouncer threw them out and once when the girl herself just told them to fuck off. The other 3 times were a failure where none of us got anything, twice they used girls in their clique to crash an approach I was doing but the girl I was chatting with creeped out and left.
I feel like after initially excluding me, my coworkers were trying to barge their way into my life and I have no interest in having them in it due to how toxic they are. Even at work, they spread rumors saying I was always partying on weekends and such but luckily two managers see through their crap (one is a Jewish woman who hates their stereotype anyways).
One of the managers (Jewish woman) sat me down and said to keep doing what I am doing, she knows how those types of people operate. The other coworkers not in the clique feel very disrespected and see their nonsense, it has made them have enough.
I've made friends with two coworkers I have gone out and had fun times with who vouch for me.
After 2020, one of the two guys who harassed me at night has been fired of harassment during a company trip, the other guy quit, but three still remain and they are more calculated in a way. Remote work after COVID-19 has been a god send for me to not deal with that but I feel like as an inexperienced dude who has only recently saw success with remote work that I could have handled this better.
It's like these people who hated me initially now want to barge their way into the life I have built and take what I have earned, using whatever means necessary. Also comes to show that frat guys do not get laid that after college.
Any advice for the future and how anyone can deal with this scenario?
@Skills
@Grand Pooba
@ anyone who is good with social dynamics