BACKGROUND
I recently went on a trip to an Asian megacity, which was a few firsts for me. First time visiting this particular city/country, first time solo traveling, first time traveling with an intention to meet local women. When I got there, I was a little disappointed to find the English literacy lower than expected, significantly hampering my attempts to Cold Approach women on the street (I'm not sure if it's heaven or hell to be stuck in a city with so many thin beautiful stylish women that you can't really talk to).
After a day or so of that, I decided to try the dating apps for a bit. Tinder had a ton of really high quality women (much better than in the States), but they only wanted to match with local-language speakers. Bumble ended up being the best western app used in this country. The crucial feature was filtering by languages spoken in this country, which allowed me to match with English speakers(expats or locals interested in meeting foreigners).
PEOPLE
Me: 5'10" Asian guy, early 30s, it's really clear I'm not from this country due to my facial hair and dress style differences
Her: 5'5" Asian girl, early 30s, amazing body, equivalent to one of those equinox-every-day girls back in the states, despite the fact that she only runs. Asian diet+genetics are amazing.
FIRST DATE
We matched on Bumble, chatted for a bit, and arranged a meet. She was pretty responsive and friendly on the dating app and over text, so I had an above average feeling on this one.
We met at a local food place (no English on the menu, no foreigners) about 30 minutes away by train from my hotel, which wasn't ideal, but I couldn't really steer the location at this point. She ended up being 20 minutes late, and was apologizing profusely both over text and in person when she finally arrived. I acted as non-chalantly and chill as possible, making sure to let her know it's not a big deal.
We ordered food, had a bit to drink, and just chatted. I performed above average deep-diving during this conversation, talking about differences between this Asian society and the states, and then talking about families and expectations. She ended up sharing some vulnerable things about her relationships with her siblings and her parents. Despite this, I wasn't able to sexualize the conversation much.
BOUNCE
She did mention that she'd be happy to show me around the local streets here, which I agreed to. After paying and then walking around for a bit, I suggested we go to a wine bar, which I thought might be a good place to escalate the vibe. She found a location, and we walked there. The second venue ended up being perfect. It was a quieter more dimly-lit romantic date spot, with fancy wines. There was this one cute gimmick, where they provide pastel colored markers with your wine glasses so you can write things on them. She ended up writing a cute little welcome note with hearts on my wine glass, and I wrote something on hers.
It was here that I was able to escalate the vibe more, sitting closer to her, putting my arm around her, putting my arm on her knee/thigh, gently caressing her. When she caressed me back, that's when I knew things were moving forward. I was also able to sexualize the conversation a bit more, talking about stuff people do in the states like Threesomes, BDSM, etc. I casually pinged her logistics, and she surprisingly said "I told my sister(who she lives with) I'm out, I don't need to be back until tomorrow morning" (one of the least subtle green lights a girl has ever given me).
PULL
I then casually suggested we hangout in the downtown area (where my hotel is, and she knew my hotel was there), which she agreed to.
We then began a subtle logistics planning back-and-forth. She had implicitly agreed to spend the night in my hotel, and was asking me some questions like "Do you have a phone charger, a laptop charger, an extra toothbrush". Yet at the same time, I had to keep up the facade that she wasn't going to spend the night in my hotel so she wouldn't feel slutty, so I would interject with things like "yeah we can try this fancy alcohol I bought as a souvenir, before we head out.", or "yeah you can store your work stuff in my hotel room temporarily so you don't have to carry it when we go out".
Then I called a taxi she paid for the wine (ended up being more than what I paid for the dinner) and we were on our way. During the cab ride, I kept the conversation light and interesting to keep her mind off the fact she was riding back to my hotel, and to try to prevent any second-thoughts.
ESCALATION
Back in the hotel, she took off her shoes, used the restroom. I put some mood-enhancing music on, then poured some of that fancy alcohol for both of us. We sat on the floor, drank a shot of the alcohol. Then I kissed her, which she readily accepted, then we proceeded straight to undressing in a slow seductive, I know this is going to happen so I'm not rushing it, sort of way. And proceeded to have sex, with zero LMR.
SEX
Sex was really good, she wasn't one of those conservative-in-bed asians, and as mentioned previously, her body is amazing.
She kept telling me no one here would ever call her skinny or fit, she's just average (which I believe). And I was telling her that in the States, I'm considered just barely above average in terms of musculature/masculinitiy (especially as an Asian male). She responded "is that supposed to be a joke? You're like so fucking masculine and muscular, look at you!". So I said "we're having a cultural exchange right now, the best sort", essentially that things that are considered average in each of our countries are considered amazing in the other, and we're both benefiting from that value differential.
At some point, she was screaming "Oh my god, don't return to America, just stay here".
During sex, I like to ask girls when they decided they were going to fuck me, because they tend to be honest when I'm inside them. She said the moment we met in person, she thought "oh wow, this guy is a lot better looking than in his photos", and she enjoyed our conversation where I seemed to be honestly interested in getting to know her and her culture, and she said there was a moment when our feet with socks on touched (the restaurant required you to remove your shoes), which was the moment she decided she wanted to fuck me.
AFTER SEX
We both showered in my fancy hotel room, brushed our teeth, and went to sleep around 3AM (she has work the next morning). About 2-3 hours later, she woke me up by giving me a really good blowjob, and I repaid the favor by fucking her again really well. I really love girls who are so insatiable and horny that they can't even wait until the morning to fuck again.
We got breakfast nearby in the morning, and agreed to meet again sometime before I return to the states.
KEYS TO THE LAY
LESSONS/STICKING POINTS
I recently went on a trip to an Asian megacity, which was a few firsts for me. First time visiting this particular city/country, first time solo traveling, first time traveling with an intention to meet local women. When I got there, I was a little disappointed to find the English literacy lower than expected, significantly hampering my attempts to Cold Approach women on the street (I'm not sure if it's heaven or hell to be stuck in a city with so many thin beautiful stylish women that you can't really talk to).
After a day or so of that, I decided to try the dating apps for a bit. Tinder had a ton of really high quality women (much better than in the States), but they only wanted to match with local-language speakers. Bumble ended up being the best western app used in this country. The crucial feature was filtering by languages spoken in this country, which allowed me to match with English speakers(expats or locals interested in meeting foreigners).
PEOPLE
Me: 5'10" Asian guy, early 30s, it's really clear I'm not from this country due to my facial hair and dress style differences
Her: 5'5" Asian girl, early 30s, amazing body, equivalent to one of those equinox-every-day girls back in the states, despite the fact that she only runs. Asian diet+genetics are amazing.
FIRST DATE
We matched on Bumble, chatted for a bit, and arranged a meet. She was pretty responsive and friendly on the dating app and over text, so I had an above average feeling on this one.
We met at a local food place (no English on the menu, no foreigners) about 30 minutes away by train from my hotel, which wasn't ideal, but I couldn't really steer the location at this point. She ended up being 20 minutes late, and was apologizing profusely both over text and in person when she finally arrived. I acted as non-chalantly and chill as possible, making sure to let her know it's not a big deal.
We ordered food, had a bit to drink, and just chatted. I performed above average deep-diving during this conversation, talking about differences between this Asian society and the states, and then talking about families and expectations. She ended up sharing some vulnerable things about her relationships with her siblings and her parents. Despite this, I wasn't able to sexualize the conversation much.
BOUNCE
She did mention that she'd be happy to show me around the local streets here, which I agreed to. After paying and then walking around for a bit, I suggested we go to a wine bar, which I thought might be a good place to escalate the vibe. She found a location, and we walked there. The second venue ended up being perfect. It was a quieter more dimly-lit romantic date spot, with fancy wines. There was this one cute gimmick, where they provide pastel colored markers with your wine glasses so you can write things on them. She ended up writing a cute little welcome note with hearts on my wine glass, and I wrote something on hers.
It was here that I was able to escalate the vibe more, sitting closer to her, putting my arm around her, putting my arm on her knee/thigh, gently caressing her. When she caressed me back, that's when I knew things were moving forward. I was also able to sexualize the conversation a bit more, talking about stuff people do in the states like Threesomes, BDSM, etc. I casually pinged her logistics, and she surprisingly said "I told my sister(who she lives with) I'm out, I don't need to be back until tomorrow morning" (one of the least subtle green lights a girl has ever given me).
PULL
I then casually suggested we hangout in the downtown area (where my hotel is, and she knew my hotel was there), which she agreed to.
We then began a subtle logistics planning back-and-forth. She had implicitly agreed to spend the night in my hotel, and was asking me some questions like "Do you have a phone charger, a laptop charger, an extra toothbrush". Yet at the same time, I had to keep up the facade that she wasn't going to spend the night in my hotel so she wouldn't feel slutty, so I would interject with things like "yeah we can try this fancy alcohol I bought as a souvenir, before we head out.", or "yeah you can store your work stuff in my hotel room temporarily so you don't have to carry it when we go out".
Then I called a taxi she paid for the wine (ended up being more than what I paid for the dinner) and we were on our way. During the cab ride, I kept the conversation light and interesting to keep her mind off the fact she was riding back to my hotel, and to try to prevent any second-thoughts.
ESCALATION
Back in the hotel, she took off her shoes, used the restroom. I put some mood-enhancing music on, then poured some of that fancy alcohol for both of us. We sat on the floor, drank a shot of the alcohol. Then I kissed her, which she readily accepted, then we proceeded straight to undressing in a slow seductive, I know this is going to happen so I'm not rushing it, sort of way. And proceeded to have sex, with zero LMR.
SEX
Sex was really good, she wasn't one of those conservative-in-bed asians, and as mentioned previously, her body is amazing.
She kept telling me no one here would ever call her skinny or fit, she's just average (which I believe). And I was telling her that in the States, I'm considered just barely above average in terms of musculature/masculinitiy (especially as an Asian male). She responded "is that supposed to be a joke? You're like so fucking masculine and muscular, look at you!". So I said "we're having a cultural exchange right now, the best sort", essentially that things that are considered average in each of our countries are considered amazing in the other, and we're both benefiting from that value differential.
At some point, she was screaming "Oh my god, don't return to America, just stay here".
During sex, I like to ask girls when they decided they were going to fuck me, because they tend to be honest when I'm inside them. She said the moment we met in person, she thought "oh wow, this guy is a lot better looking than in his photos", and she enjoyed our conversation where I seemed to be honestly interested in getting to know her and her culture, and she said there was a moment when our feet with socks on touched (the restaurant required you to remove your shoes), which was the moment she decided she wanted to fuck me.
AFTER SEX
We both showered in my fancy hotel room, brushed our teeth, and went to sleep around 3AM (she has work the next morning). About 2-3 hours later, she woke me up by giving me a really good blowjob, and I repaid the favor by fucking her again really well. I really love girls who are so insatiable and horny that they can't even wait until the morning to fuck again.
We got breakfast nearby in the morning, and agreed to meet again sometime before I return to the states.
KEYS TO THE LAY
- Acting chill when she was late. There was some article by Chase that I can't find, where he suggests the way to act when girls are super late is to just be super chill about it. Most men get angry or reactive or needy when a girl is late, and when you act like it's actually no big deal, it's super impressive to her. This was exactly what happened. She was apologizing profusely over text and in person, and I got her to calm down very quickly. The key was that I actually didn't mind her being late at all. I'm on vacation, with an essentially free schedule, so hanging around people-watching locals for 20 minutes is actually not at all a bad way to spend time. I think her going from a state of anxiety to a state of calm enjoyment really created a good "mood trajectory" in her that led to the eventual lay.
- Deftly handling the pull back to my hotel. My significant experience over the last few years was the only thing that enabled me to juggle this delicate situation.
- She gave me a super obvious green light with her "I don't need to be back home until tomorrow" statement. I had to NOT MISS THIS ESCALATION WINDOW, but at the same time not be over-eager.
- She gave me more green-lights with her logistics questions about toothbrushes, chargers, etc. in my hotel room, which I assured her I had all of, but at the same time I had to pretend that she wasn't actually asking me about "sleepover" logistics.
- Me from 2 years ago would definitely have bungled this, most likely by missing the very narrow escalation window she opened (the more obvious the window, the shorter time frame it's open for), and the night ending with "I should probably be getting home, I have work tomorrow".
- Or me from 1 year ago might have seen the escalation window, but bungled the "reputation management" aspect of it--even though she was agreeing to go back to my hotel, and LITERALLY NO ONE else in this country would know about it, I needed to be aware that she has her own internal feelings of reputation-management that I need to consider. I confirmed this because several times later that night or the next morning, she repeated something along the lines of "I had no idea we were going to have amazing sex tonight, I just thought we were going to hangout and grab a drink", basically she needed to give plausible deniability to herself.
LESSONS/STICKING POINTS
- I wanted to prove to myself that girls are basically the same in all countries. Specifically in an Asian country where girls have a reputation for being more conservative. Point proven.
- I also wanted to prove to myself that my physical attractiveness, vibe, dominance, masculinity, fashion sense, etc. were universally appealing, and that I wasn't hyper optimizing for what girls in the States like. She confirmed this for me. I also got 2 compliments from men while on the trip, one homeless guy who really liked my facial hair, and one shopkeeper who kept telling me female companion how good I looked, and that there's something uniquely foreign about my looks.
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