Dance and seduction

[shaneawi]

I’m a 32 year old introvert and a terrible dancer. I have no rhythm and ultimately don’t enjoy it. I prefer to listen to music on my own and just enjoy it. My girlfriend who’s 29 always makes fun of me for not knowing how to dance. We have a friends wedding coming up in the fall and she also talks about how she would like to go to a nightclub to dance. She said she went to night clubs with other ex boyfriends before me. I personally don’t like the idea of taking my girlfriend to a nightclub, especially at my age. She would see all these other guys who could dance and I feel like a good.

How important is knowing how to dance when in a LTR? I have my career taken care of and I have my physique taken care of. Does not knowing how to dance make me less of a man?

Thanks

 

[Tony D]

Dating a girl that likes to dance when you can't is tough.

I also suck at dancing, but realized early on, if I want to keep a girl happy with me, I have to have at least a base level of "fake it" dancing ability. All you need to do is be able to fake dancing for two songs every hour. She'll be happy.

I spent over a month going to bars and clubs and just practice dancing. I watched some Youtube vids and practiced in the mirror. I still suck at it but at least I'm not that lame guy who goes "I don't dance."

Learn to dance, or she might end up dancing on some other guy's lap. You don't have to be good at it... just brave enough to at least try without being completely self conscious.

 

[Fuck This]

I dropped a potential plate because she had anxiety over dancing.
Have you tried structured lessons? Dancing well is mainly LEADING WELL. You would not believe how wet one of my female friends got when I danced with her because I led her while dancing. I mean serious doggie dinner bowl eyes.

I learned to lead from a 1 credit Social swing class in college.

 

[Will_V]

I’m a 32 year old introvert and a terrible dancer. I have no rhythm and ultimately don’t enjoy it. I prefer to listen to music on my own and just enjoy it. My girlfriend who’s 29 always makes fun of me for not knowing how to dance. We have a friends wedding coming up in the fall and she also talks about how she would like to go to a nightclub to dance. She said she went to night clubs with other ex boyfriends before me. I personally don’t like the idea of taking my girlfriend to a nightclub, especially at my age. She would see all these other guys who could dance and I feel like a good.

How important is knowing how to dance when in a LTR? I have my career taken care of and I have my physique taken care of. Does not knowing how to dance make me less of a man?

Thanks

It strikes me as a bit odd that a girl who's 29 in an LTR wants to go club dancing, the girls I know around that age don't even really want to go when they're single, they feel past all of that. Wedding dancing and nightclub dancing are not remotely the same, and it's not just the physicality but the environment. One is dancing and the other is partying. Personally, I would never take a serious LTR to the club, and I don't really consider it normal behavior except if you're both really young.

Take it or leave it, I'm going to go on a bit of a limb and, based on the very small amount of context I've got, suggest that maybe your alarm bells should be ringing a bit. Is she happy in the relationship? Is she chasing your frame generally and showing a lot of enthusiasm to follow your lead in things? Are you doing fulfilling things together on a regular basis?

If she really wants to dance, you can both go and learn the waltz at some social dancing place, but if it's partying she's after that's a different type of thing.

 

[Regal Tiger]

It strikes me as a bit odd that a girl who's 29 in an LTR wants to go club dancing, the girls I know around that age don't even really want to go when they're single, they feel past all of that. Wedding dancing and nightclub dancing are not remotely the same, and it's not just the physicality but the environment. One is dancing and the other is partying. Personally, I would never take a serious LTR to the club, and I don't really consider it normal behavior except if you're both really young.

Take it or leave it, I'm going to go on a bit of a limb and, based on the very small amount of context I've got, suggest that maybe your alarm bells should be ringing a bit. Is she happy in the relationship? Is she chasing your frame generally and showing a lot of enthusiasm to follow your lead in things? Are you doing fulfilling things together on a regular basis?

If she really wants to dance, you can both go and learn the waltz at some social dancing place, but if it's partying she's after that's a different type of thing.

Yeah I'm going to second this.

As someone who has taught ballroom and swing before, the environments aren't even close to matching. She's trying to party.

If she actually wants to dance there are a whole lotta different styles out there. Latin dancing, from my limited experiences with it is a little more on the party side but obviously not even close to actual clubs and etc. But swing dancing as well as ballroom are good places to take an LTR to in order to dance. Again, just based on my own experiences in a handful of areas.

While I've never been, you can even find hip-hop dance places if that's the style she's wanting to try out.

 

[Glow]

Yeah I'm going to second this.

As someone who has taught ballroom and swing before, the environments aren't even close to matching. She's trying to party.

If she actually wants to dance there are a whole lotta different styles out there. Latin dancing, from my limited experiences with it is a little more on the party side but obviously not even close to actual clubs and etc. But swing dancing as well as ballroom are good places to take an LTR to in order to dance. Again, just based on my own experiences in a handful of areas.

While I've never been, you can even find hip-hop dance places if that's the style she's wanting to try out.

you guys dont get it

she wants to party and dance with HIM her lover and bf

she wants to have fun with him

theres nothing problematic in in - you guys are way to iffy and stiff minded on this!

nor is she a special case due to age i mean its end 20es early thirties. lol.

its simply her liking this and wanting to do it WITH her man/bf/whatever.

OP start communicating aka listening and getting your gf. And figure yourself out

you can join her a lil like tony outlines - in relationships we need to move closer to one anothers worlds

or you can stay on your i dont dance thing.

just join her and bring your frirends to chill in the bar or whatever. hank moody style.

BUT. meet her somewhat, somehow somewhere in between your point of feeling and hers. thats called relationshipping.

dont start some idiot dance class if youre against dancing. But research yoru true motivation for it and BE FRANK with yourself. It could be a fun thing you guys could do together. Is its just fears and insecurities holding you back. Or some iffy childish semi-feigny energy in you.

A huge key is to dance to music YOU like so choose whatever you do in that direction. take her to see a band you like and enjoy it along ways you like to enjoy music. Choose a danceform that is to music u like if you wanna go that route.

also - forget imprssing. what you want is to be playfuld theatrical, make it small and almost just in place sorta enjoying the music a lil standing dance, and do it to connect and have fun - hey were having fun together type approach.

If you wanna turn her on move sloooooowly and sensually. Like yorue a fuckign sectacly to be witnessed. Own your presence. just learn a few sensual movements. almost like youre caressing yourself or feeling like honey on the inside.

Focusing on the connective aspect, fun loving part and the enjoyous sensual movement part more on the ground sorta tapping your foot level is the way to engage with dancing for seduction in an efficient manner.