Hey guys need some advice,
I’m seeing this chick who I talked about in an earlier post below “Am I the early boyfriend or just conservative girl.”
Essentially she’s a very attractive 26 yo Indian girl I met online. She’s quite inexperienced and lost her virginity last year to her then 34yo boyfriend. So far we’ve been on twelve dates. Some of these have been the whole day.
For the last 3 weeks we’ve been having a date on the weekend (whole day) and a mid week date. Nothing much happens on the midweek date coz she lives far away and essentially has to catch a 1.5hr train home. For the last 3 weekend dates however she comes over and we’ve gone as far as fingering but there is always resistance to sex (takes of everything but her underwear).
The second time she was over and I tried to take off her underwear she said I hadn’t committed to the relationship so no (I won’t go into it but she had almost gone into autorejection on our earlier midweek date but her friends talked her out of it). I reassured her later that day that I spent so much time with her and she shouldn’t be worried about this just being a fling.
We had our mid week date this week which was chill and our weekend date two days ago. For the latter we did a cooking date. She came over, we cooked, then went to the bedroom. She said she was on her period). I jokingly probe her a little bit about her period to see if she’s trying to get out of having sex. I’m not too fussed. We can fuck next time.
Later that day however I make a joke about her having her period every week. She then says she feels physically ready to have sex (horny etc) but she’s not emotionally ready. She mentions some friends of hers didn’t have sex until marriage. I don’t respond to any of this. Then she asks if I’d be jealous if she was seeing other people and I say she can do what she wants, I can’t contol her but I’d be surprised if she was. I ask her the same questions and she copies my answer and says she would be disappointed (I’m not currently seeing anyone else either).
Her comment about not being emotionally ready for sex made me feel like now I don’t know when it’s going to happen. I don’t want to be a little bitch about it but 12 dates is a long time and we’re hanging out otherwise as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I haven’t shown her any emotion in regards to this issue because I feel like if you get mad about it then you’re even less likely to fuck.
My plan from now is to reintroduce the basic principles of game which I let slip as I tried to transition to a relationship - eg texting less, once weekly dates, displaying higher value/building comfort. I am also going to start seeing other girls and have set up a date for today with someone else.
I talked about this with my mate and he recommends giving her an ultimatum which makes sense to me to. Essentially telling her that I like spending time with her and can see this going somewhere however feel that if she’s not emotionally ready to sleep with me then maybe there’s something missing in our relationship and we should consider seeing other people. I plan to give her one more chance in the bedroom. If she declines sex again then I am going to tell her the above.
Thoughts on how to deal with this situation? Advice much appreciated as always
Silent9
I’m seeing this chick who I talked about in an earlier post below “Am I the early boyfriend or just conservative girl.”
Essentially she’s a very attractive 26 yo Indian girl I met online. She’s quite inexperienced and lost her virginity last year to her then 34yo boyfriend. So far we’ve been on twelve dates. Some of these have been the whole day.
For the last 3 weeks we’ve been having a date on the weekend (whole day) and a mid week date. Nothing much happens on the midweek date coz she lives far away and essentially has to catch a 1.5hr train home. For the last 3 weekend dates however she comes over and we’ve gone as far as fingering but there is always resistance to sex (takes of everything but her underwear).
The second time she was over and I tried to take off her underwear she said I hadn’t committed to the relationship so no (I won’t go into it but she had almost gone into autorejection on our earlier midweek date but her friends talked her out of it). I reassured her later that day that I spent so much time with her and she shouldn’t be worried about this just being a fling.
We had our mid week date this week which was chill and our weekend date two days ago. For the latter we did a cooking date. She came over, we cooked, then went to the bedroom. She said she was on her period). I jokingly probe her a little bit about her period to see if she’s trying to get out of having sex. I’m not too fussed. We can fuck next time.
Later that day however I make a joke about her having her period every week. She then says she feels physically ready to have sex (horny etc) but she’s not emotionally ready. She mentions some friends of hers didn’t have sex until marriage. I don’t respond to any of this. Then she asks if I’d be jealous if she was seeing other people and I say she can do what she wants, I can’t contol her but I’d be surprised if she was. I ask her the same questions and she copies my answer and says she would be disappointed (I’m not currently seeing anyone else either).
Her comment about not being emotionally ready for sex made me feel like now I don’t know when it’s going to happen. I don’t want to be a little bitch about it but 12 dates is a long time and we’re hanging out otherwise as if we were boyfriend and girlfriend. I haven’t shown her any emotion in regards to this issue because I feel like if you get mad about it then you’re even less likely to fuck.
My plan from now is to reintroduce the basic principles of game which I let slip as I tried to transition to a relationship - eg texting less, once weekly dates, displaying higher value/building comfort. I am also going to start seeing other girls and have set up a date for today with someone else.
I talked about this with my mate and he recommends giving her an ultimatum which makes sense to me to. Essentially telling her that I like spending time with her and can see this going somewhere however feel that if she’s not emotionally ready to sleep with me then maybe there’s something missing in our relationship and we should consider seeing other people. I plan to give her one more chance in the bedroom. If she declines sex again then I am going to tell her the above.
Thoughts on how to deal with this situation? Advice much appreciated as always
Silent9