Date and Getting FUN at Home!

[Raphael]

Okay i have set up a date for tomorrow! And i´ve been paying attention to girlschase.com to know that we must escalate on the first date a try to get her to come my home that why the date(cofee) its close to my place. I have two question. First when you guys say "escalate" what you mean by that? i must escalate like touching? ou escalate in terms of seduction? How to do that? I can´t just begin to escalate from nowhere. Second question. Like i said i´ve set up a date for tomorrow. What you guys think its the best time? in the evening ou night? Because there will be a party in the night that why i have this dilemma. On the other hand i dont want to hang out with her in the night and she or me face some friends and the seduction its lost. I thank all the opinions. Raphael

 

[diegoC]

First when you guys say "escalate" what you mean by that? i must escalate like touching? ou escalate in terms of seduction? How to do that?

Escalate may refer to the action when you need to move forward in the interaction (Escalation windows). You sense you have to do something and you move her to sit down with you for example. In a date scenario you will be more in a situation where you will just have to deep dive, make witty remarks, sexual frames, chase frames, and play with some light touching (better when you are a beginner to make her comfortable with your touch).

When you are in the place you are going to have sex, escalation will refer to the process where you start your path towards sex.

Second question. Like i said i´ve set up a date for tomorrow. What you guys think its the best time? in the evening ou night? Because there will be a party in the night that why i have this dilemma. On the other hand i dont want to hang out with her in the night and she or me face some friends and the seduction its lost.

Are you thinking abut the party or trying to get her home with you? You can't do both so you have to decide.
Maybe you should avoid going to a place where friends of yours or hers might go.
I like dates when is night already. I guess 7pm is good. You could be with her on coffee shop for 2 hours tops before trying to take her to your home (it will be 9pm, really early yet). You could have sex and then go to the party, jaja

Cheers!

 

[Raphael]

Hey guys, thanks for your understanding and trying to help other in need. I jsut feel pathetic come here and bother you guys with my romantic problems. I jsut have a last thing to clear. This post was about escalation on date with a girl. Well the date didnt occur so i was wondering if you guys can give me some insight for what to do next.
Here its the problem, I´ve schedule a coffee with a girl and she have said to me on facebook that she was free on that week and even gave me her number to plan things. The problem is this the coffee didnt occur. Here its the conversation:

Me: Hey Mary!How are you? Its Joseph, What if our coffee would be schedule for today at 4p.m on Stars? ( Stars, name of the place, lose to my home xD)

She: I can´t at 4, because i just arrived town at 6h49m. Can we plan for the night?

Me: Yeah sure, 9h its good for you?

She: Yeah it is !

After a while...its midnight -.-


She: Hey Raphael i just finish my stuff right now but maybe its late for coffee ?

Me: Yeah maybe its is... ( Irony, i was like -.-)

She: Sorry really! Next time coffee is on me

Me: Yeah okay i will think about that..


The conversation died just here. My question is: Do you guys think its better i just wait for her to text me planning a coffee or this week i schedule again by texting?

Thanks guys

 

[Lanoa]

Well, I doubt she will initiate, especially after your last comment, which she could interpret in several ways. It is better not to count on girls to start anything, I say.

I would just go for casually scheduling a date by text and meeting over "that" coffee, at least you have something to tease her on Afterwards, you will where her interest level is, regardless whether she was honestly busy or flaked it on purpose. You will know where you stand and won´t waste time.

 

[Tyme2k]

This to me is unacceptable. I would never want a girl in my life like this. She could have at least had the decency to text you and say she wouldn't make it. I like your comment about thinking about it, but I think you could have worded it a bit different. "Next time let me know, it's polite. I have a pretty busy schedule text me times youre free and I'll get back to you." This communicates that you do not let girls do these sort of things to you.

Since it's already said and done it's best to forget about it and move on. My suggestion would be for you to move on completely and meet other girls, this one does not deserve any attention, I don't care how hot she is, how smart or talented. You need to set standards and uphold them, this is attractive to women.

If you must make another attempt I would suggest send a value offering text or a cool pic of you doing something fun to test her investment. If you notice her investment levels rise and she starts engaging you then answer her questions indirectly and set a meet asap. Find out her schedule and pick a time that works. Whatever you do don't say "I'm free pretty much whenever so when's good for you."

BUT you should go talk to tons of other girls make it a habit and you will learn sooo much more. I can't tell you how many BAD texts I've sent to learn what NOT to send lol.

 

[diegoC]

This to me is unacceptable. I would never want a girl in my life like this. She could have at least had the decency to text you and say she wouldn't make it.

Raphael, really take notice of what Tyme tells you here. It's spot on. One thing is to show a girl there is no big deal when she tells you she won't be able to make a date, great. But, not making you aware of this is just wrong and this must be punish.

"Next time let me know, it's polite. I have a pretty busy schedule text me times youre free and I'll get back to you."

This message example of Tyme is good. He is letting her know that not telling him is wrong. He is not being aggresive about it, he is just being honest that is was not polite of her in a control manner.

I think you may or may not tell her the last part ("text me the times you are free and i'll get back to you") of that message. Tyme has an abundance mentality so it's easier for him to put the ball in her court (expecting she will let him know what days she is free) because he doesn't even care. If you are not comfortable doing this (you have no abundance mentality), you may not say it.

My suggestion would be for you to move on completely and meet other girls, this one does not deserve any attention

I also agree. Go out there and meet more women.

In your message you told her "Yeah okay i will think about that.." so I think you could take some time and ask her again, but, honestly, I wouldn't. I would move on and expect for her to contact me.

Cheers!