Hey Guys,
Two quick scenarios i'd love an opinion on..
1 ( probably ejected too early)
Was at the gym the other day and approached this chick.
I did not know how to handle the conversation and would want someone to suggest some thing i could have said or done to get her number.
I approached her by getting on the tread mill close to her.
me: do you like donald trump?
her: ( she was american, but answered in my language, trying to frame control) can you ask me something else ? - a bit bitchy in the tonality
me: (answering in my language, so buying into her frame instead of staying strong in mine) You're the first american who actually speaks my language, why is that?
her: been living here for a while
me: good, I love donald trump though and was curious because you're not shaking and get super mad when talking about him, like many other people
her: well i did not vote... look i have to run and you're distracting me
me: oh really? i wouldn't say so...
her: i want to focus on my run ( she wasn't as bitchy as it looks on paper , but still quite so)
'' at this point i was too attainable, so probably should have done something like tesing her, but that did not come to my mind at the time so I went for a hard push
me: ( in a funny but not too funny tone) look, you will run better if you talk to me
her: no because i have to focus
me: yeah but fatigue is a mental thing so you tire less and have a great time in the meantime..
her: but i dont wanna talk I just wanna run
me: mmm.. is that something that you always do?
her: what?
me: lying?
her : ( smile, you could see how she hooked there)
me: too bed, it's getting late. I have to go.. Have a great workout ( leaving on a high point - thinking maybe I'll see her next time)
WHat do you say at that point if you continue and she keeps on playing a bitch?
Something different I could have done here??
2 LMR , not well handled
Went on a date with this swedish woman..
So obvious she was a bit inexperienced and very young (21) , so she played very hard to get, but still in an attainable way. Yes, she played the bitch but it was obvious that it was fake ( if I held eye contact with her she would break, if I challenged her on something, after a while, she would back down).
So i run the date in my favorite modality : deep diving like hell but with the add of some cold reading here and there...
Even though i did not mention any big company or pumped my value to much, my fundamentals were good.
Conversation was quite good ( though still not extrememly fluid, there's still that moment where it feels a bit like an interview..)
So the value was still very high: no attainability problems, but she wanted me as a boyfriend!
Funny enough , i love girls who have casual sex and always make it a point to make sure women notice this t and see how I don't judge them for their sexuality: I love it when they express it
So why the fuck do you see me as a boyfriend?!?!
However, there's a mistake i may have made.
I mentioned a friend of mine whom I know dates a woman that she knows, ( because this bitch is swedish too).
Unfortunately, even if they are not THAT friend with each other, I told her that the guy is a great friend of mine.
This, even though not big one, is a mistake. (your discretion potential goes down in her eyes)
This is definetly something that does not speed things up.
Yes, you are non judgmental. Yes, you love women who give you one night stands and always make sure to not kiss and tell with ANY one.
But she still may think : but what if this is not true, and he says it to his friend who has a girlfriend who knows me?
What if he fucks me and say bye bye and i look like a hore or weak ??
I think that there are just NO upsides in telling a woman you have friends in common.
Of course, this does not always mean that if you do so, u can't lay her.
Sometimes she may be carefree and just go with it, but saying you're great friend with a guy who dates a girl she knows , does NOT have ANY benefit. It just doesn't.
At best, it slows things down just a bit, at worst, it makes the girl you're trying to bang way more cautious.
We talked about this guy and his girlfriend ( whom this girl i'm trying to bang knows ) for a while.
Reason being: me and the guy make music together, and music is a good conversation topic to have with women.
Come to think of it though, the guy i make music with is really rich and since she's just 21 , she might have thought i'm rich too or gonna become famous, and i might have looked like a boyfriend?! ( though still strange cause my house, that she has later seen, is incredibily small)
Again, bad? maybe not that much, but for sure not something that speeds things up.
In all of this, we had a good connection, and the bitch was into me.
I take her home.
So after a while she cold reads me and she goes
'' I think you have never found a person who actually made you want to be monogamous.. and i think you are afraid to open up and of being hurt... '' ( basically begging me to become her boyfriend)
I keep it vague on my answer,and intriguingly deflect it
'' you know, life is short and i value good times, but you never know what can happen and that's why it's so great!'' (and quickly switched topic).
sounds cool, means nothing!
This situation is fine and dandy if what you want is a girl to hang out and willing to go on some dates with, but i don't.
Then we laid on my bed for a while..
Made out.
She did not want to go over making out.
I felt like waiting other dates would give me the result i wanted so didn't push too much.
So I brought her home, and slept at her place.. She said, to fuck a guy I need to love him or have feelings for him!
Of course i did not say '' so love me!!!'' because i don't want to hurt anybody here.
And then we slept.
Once again, nothing happened.
So the next day i send the anti auto rejection text
me: great meeting you lisa, you're very interesting to talk to! have a great day!
her: great meeting you too.. you're an interesting person too and if you want to see me , you know where to find me!
have a great day too
( btw ,what the fuck does this even mean anyway?)
So , day after I text again:
me: ( more or less) hey lisa, it was good meeting you - you're interesting to talk to and very authentic. Let me cook you dinner monday night at my place,if that fits with you. Let me know if that works so we can set it up
her: hey! i can't do late nights, have to work during the week but otherwise ok!
I don't know what this means, to be honest.
Bigger picture, with date compression i can lay her. But this implies investing and going around with her, which I don't want to do ( though she s cute)
So i may do some lunch in a restaurant and bye bye ( second date) , and then go for the kill ( on third date)
But my question are 2 here.
-She wanted me as a boyfriend and so slowed things down, but could i still lay her on the first date?
-Even though what she wants is a boyfriend and i don't want to hurt her or hurt other people in my life, can you lay her by making it extremely clear that you CAN T get involved at the moment, and that we're just gonna have some fun and that's it? I have the feeling she s not gonna accept that but was curious on your opinion...
Keep in mind that even if with words i said i'm no boyfriend material and framed myself more as a lover ( though not as much as i could), i slept at her place and didn't fuck her, so my actions said something different..
would love your opinion on this guys..
plus, bonus question : if you say '' hey, I have a girlfriend, so i can't get involved...'' as chase suggests in the article '' disqualify yourself as a boyfriend''
are women going to accept this? to me that looks very unlikely, but i hope to be wrong!
Two quick scenarios i'd love an opinion on..
1 ( probably ejected too early)
Was at the gym the other day and approached this chick.
I did not know how to handle the conversation and would want someone to suggest some thing i could have said or done to get her number.
I approached her by getting on the tread mill close to her.
me: do you like donald trump?
her: ( she was american, but answered in my language, trying to frame control) can you ask me something else ? - a bit bitchy in the tonality
me: (answering in my language, so buying into her frame instead of staying strong in mine) You're the first american who actually speaks my language, why is that?
her: been living here for a while
me: good, I love donald trump though and was curious because you're not shaking and get super mad when talking about him, like many other people
her: well i did not vote... look i have to run and you're distracting me
me: oh really? i wouldn't say so...
her: i want to focus on my run ( she wasn't as bitchy as it looks on paper , but still quite so)
'' at this point i was too attainable, so probably should have done something like tesing her, but that did not come to my mind at the time so I went for a hard push
me: ( in a funny but not too funny tone) look, you will run better if you talk to me
her: no because i have to focus
me: yeah but fatigue is a mental thing so you tire less and have a great time in the meantime..
her: but i dont wanna talk I just wanna run
me: mmm.. is that something that you always do?
her: what?
me: lying?
her : ( smile, you could see how she hooked there)
me: too bed, it's getting late. I have to go.. Have a great workout ( leaving on a high point - thinking maybe I'll see her next time)
WHat do you say at that point if you continue and she keeps on playing a bitch?
Something different I could have done here??
2 LMR , not well handled
Went on a date with this swedish woman..
So obvious she was a bit inexperienced and very young (21) , so she played very hard to get, but still in an attainable way. Yes, she played the bitch but it was obvious that it was fake ( if I held eye contact with her she would break, if I challenged her on something, after a while, she would back down).
So i run the date in my favorite modality : deep diving like hell but with the add of some cold reading here and there...
Even though i did not mention any big company or pumped my value to much, my fundamentals were good.
Conversation was quite good ( though still not extrememly fluid, there's still that moment where it feels a bit like an interview..)
So the value was still very high: no attainability problems, but she wanted me as a boyfriend!
Funny enough , i love girls who have casual sex and always make it a point to make sure women notice this t and see how I don't judge them for their sexuality: I love it when they express it
So why the fuck do you see me as a boyfriend?!?!
However, there's a mistake i may have made.
I mentioned a friend of mine whom I know dates a woman that she knows, ( because this bitch is swedish too).
Unfortunately, even if they are not THAT friend with each other, I told her that the guy is a great friend of mine.
This, even though not big one, is a mistake. (your discretion potential goes down in her eyes)
This is definetly something that does not speed things up.
Yes, you are non judgmental. Yes, you love women who give you one night stands and always make sure to not kiss and tell with ANY one.
But she still may think : but what if this is not true, and he says it to his friend who has a girlfriend who knows me?
What if he fucks me and say bye bye and i look like a hore or weak ??
I think that there are just NO upsides in telling a woman you have friends in common.
Of course, this does not always mean that if you do so, u can't lay her.
Sometimes she may be carefree and just go with it, but saying you're great friend with a guy who dates a girl she knows , does NOT have ANY benefit. It just doesn't.
At best, it slows things down just a bit, at worst, it makes the girl you're trying to bang way more cautious.
We talked about this guy and his girlfriend ( whom this girl i'm trying to bang knows ) for a while.
Reason being: me and the guy make music together, and music is a good conversation topic to have with women.
Come to think of it though, the guy i make music with is really rich and since she's just 21 , she might have thought i'm rich too or gonna become famous, and i might have looked like a boyfriend?! ( though still strange cause my house, that she has later seen, is incredibily small)
Again, bad? maybe not that much, but for sure not something that speeds things up.
In all of this, we had a good connection, and the bitch was into me.
I take her home.
So after a while she cold reads me and she goes
'' I think you have never found a person who actually made you want to be monogamous.. and i think you are afraid to open up and of being hurt... '' ( basically begging me to become her boyfriend)
I keep it vague on my answer,and intriguingly deflect it
'' you know, life is short and i value good times, but you never know what can happen and that's why it's so great!'' (and quickly switched topic).
sounds cool, means nothing!
This situation is fine and dandy if what you want is a girl to hang out and willing to go on some dates with, but i don't.
Then we laid on my bed for a while..
Made out.
She did not want to go over making out.
I felt like waiting other dates would give me the result i wanted so didn't push too much.
So I brought her home, and slept at her place.. She said, to fuck a guy I need to love him or have feelings for him!
Of course i did not say '' so love me!!!'' because i don't want to hurt anybody here.
And then we slept.
Once again, nothing happened.
So the next day i send the anti auto rejection text
me: great meeting you lisa, you're very interesting to talk to! have a great day!
her: great meeting you too.. you're an interesting person too and if you want to see me , you know where to find me!
have a great day too( btw ,what the fuck does this even mean anyway?)
So , day after I text again:
me: ( more or less) hey lisa, it was good meeting you - you're interesting to talk to and very authentic. Let me cook you dinner monday night at my place,if that fits with you. Let me know if that works so we can set it up
her: hey! i can't do late nights, have to work during the week but otherwise ok!
I don't know what this means, to be honest.
Bigger picture, with date compression i can lay her. But this implies investing and going around with her, which I don't want to do ( though she s cute)
So i may do some lunch in a restaurant and bye bye ( second date) , and then go for the kill ( on third date)
But my question are 2 here.
-She wanted me as a boyfriend and so slowed things down, but could i still lay her on the first date?
-Even though what she wants is a boyfriend and i don't want to hurt her or hurt other people in my life, can you lay her by making it extremely clear that you CAN T get involved at the moment, and that we're just gonna have some fun and that's it? I have the feeling she s not gonna accept that but was curious on your opinion...
Keep in mind that even if with words i said i'm no boyfriend material and framed myself more as a lover ( though not as much as i could), i slept at her place and didn't fuck her, so my actions said something different..
would love your opinion on this guys..
plus, bonus question : if you say '' hey, I have a girlfriend, so i can't get involved...'' as chase suggests in the article '' disqualify yourself as a boyfriend''
are women going to accept this? to me that looks very unlikely, but i hope to be wrong!
