- Joined
- Aug 15, 2022
- Messages
- 313
Appearances:
Me: 210lb 5'10 Man. White. 19. Casually Dressed.
Her: Middle Eastern Female. slightly overweight. 25-30. Casually Dressed.
The Approach:
I approached her while walking to meet up with my friends at a nature park. She was wearing a big coat so I didn't know she was overweight. Her face was still good tho so still fuckable, tho I was much less attracted to her when I met her without the coat on during the date. I forget most of the approach, she gave me her number and I moved on with my day
The Texting:
Scheduling the date was very easy. No resistance at all. She was flirting with me and giving me compliments. On the day of the date however, I sent her a confirmation text, but I spelled her name wrong. Like 5 hours later, I was wondering why she wasn't responding and when I looked at the text I realized I spelled her name wrong. She could view this as me being insincere because in her mind I don't care about her enough to get her name right. This could be why she wasn't responding or she was just busy. I was anxious that it wasn't going to work out so I sent a text correcting the typo. I talked with my coach and In hindsight I should have just left the typo there and rolled the dice as to her responding. I doubt a typo on their name would make someone not want to go on a date but it's a possibility. Anyways she responded with a "?" and I responded within in minutes back to her with "I spelled your name wrong, just confirming that we're on for tonight". I view this is another mistake, I should have waited something like an hour before responding and maybe alter my text to just "I spelled ur name wrong". I don't need to repeat that I'm confirming the date that just looks needy. Anyways everything worked at she responded with "see you tonight
"
But yeah my takeaways are:
The Date:
We met at the coffee shop.
I had several objectives for the date:'
In the past couple weeks, I've been focusing on my eye contact and being aware of it has become almost second nature.
I'm pretty sure I kept my voice neutral the whole time, but I know I did other things with my voice that we're unattractive. For example, sometimes my speed of talking would get faster, especially if I thought something was funny and was laughing a little while talking about it. I've read that you supposed to keep your tone slow and even in order to have a sexy voice, so I definitely need to work on this.
Sometimes there were awkward silences in the conversation. I or her, would run out of things to say. The longest one of these silences went for would be 5 seconds. Since Ive been single again I've been doing more and more cold approaches, so I think my conversational skills are getting better, but I'm definitely not a master.
I knew it was important that I break the touch barrier so I asked her if I could see her Fitbit. I was assuming she would just hold out her hand and I could touch he forearm but she actually took it off, so I didn't really get to touch her. When I gave it back to her my finer grazed her hand by accident so the first touch was made.
The coffee shop was closing, so I offered we take a walk before parting ways. With this I escalated touch a little. I put my arm around her shoulder at first and then transitioned to holding her hand while we walked. I was trying to find a place where I could try to kiss her because I've been told you should do that in a secluded place, but I couldn't a good spot. I think what I should have done would be to put my hand around her waist, to escalate a little more and then go for a peck on the cheek and see how that goes, but ultimately I could feel that there wasn't that much attraction on her end. Everything felt too platonic.
We decided to go our separate ways and I made the mistake of trying to plan the second date on the first during this moment. She said "maybe, I'll think about it" and then that was that.
Takeways:
I'm good at talking to someone like they're a friend but I can't create arousal to save my life. I need to learn how to flirt better and be sexier. From the texts she was sending me, she was high interest but my lack of skills prevented me from taking things further. On the date she even talked about how me approaching her made her so happy, so I know she wasn't interested, I just didn't know how to handle that interest. I mean she said maybe when I brought up a second date but I really believe that maybe is a no, That's just my experience.
As far as objectives, making her show me her fit bit I would count as a little investment, I kept my tone neutral, I can't pick up signals to save my life but at least I tried, and as far as ending date on a high note, I didn't really know how to get into the right context where I could kiss her.
However this date is a night and day improvement from my last. I got more compliance with this girl than the last and I was self aware and trying to use several techniques.
The Mice:
Just for fun I thought I'd Include this, it is the title after all. This coffee shop needs a health inspector or some shit because we saw several mice on several occasions running arround the floor. They were chasing each other and shit, I don't know what was going on but these guys definitely needed an exterminator. We even thought about leaving the venue it was so bad.
Interesting note:
During the date, there were times where she was so boring that I lost all attraction for her. But then interestingly, when she would talk about me approaching her and when she was passionate and lively talking about this, I would feel aroused and my attraction for her would spike. Interesting that things work like that.
Best Regards,
BHL
Me: 210lb 5'10 Man. White. 19. Casually Dressed.
Her: Middle Eastern Female. slightly overweight. 25-30. Casually Dressed.
The Approach:
I approached her while walking to meet up with my friends at a nature park. She was wearing a big coat so I didn't know she was overweight. Her face was still good tho so still fuckable, tho I was much less attracted to her when I met her without the coat on during the date. I forget most of the approach, she gave me her number and I moved on with my day
The Texting:
Scheduling the date was very easy. No resistance at all. She was flirting with me and giving me compliments. On the day of the date however, I sent her a confirmation text, but I spelled her name wrong. Like 5 hours later, I was wondering why she wasn't responding and when I looked at the text I realized I spelled her name wrong. She could view this as me being insincere because in her mind I don't care about her enough to get her name right. This could be why she wasn't responding or she was just busy. I was anxious that it wasn't going to work out so I sent a text correcting the typo. I talked with my coach and In hindsight I should have just left the typo there and rolled the dice as to her responding. I doubt a typo on their name would make someone not want to go on a date but it's a possibility. Anyways she responded with a "?" and I responded within in minutes back to her with "I spelled your name wrong, just confirming that we're on for tonight". I view this is another mistake, I should have waited something like an hour before responding and maybe alter my text to just "I spelled ur name wrong". I don't need to repeat that I'm confirming the date that just looks needy. Anyways everything worked at she responded with "see you tonight
" But yeah my takeaways are:
- Always proof read your text messages, so you don't get typos
- Send the confirmation text 4-5 hours before you see her, use your judgment because times vary, examples: 1pm date, confirm 9-10. 6pm date confirm at 12
- Don’t fold under pressure. If you realize a typo hours later, stick to your guns and don’t correct the typo. If you send a text you regret, don’t send another text clearing up the first, attractive men don’t flip flop on what they say. If she’s taking a long time to respond, you have to wait, texting her again will make it less likely for her to respond
The Date:
We met at the coffee shop.
I had several objectives for the date:'
- Be mindful, aware of yourself and her signals
- Find ways to get her invested
- Make sure you are not doing a rapport seeking tonality, keep your tone neutral
- End the date on a high note
In the past couple weeks, I've been focusing on my eye contact and being aware of it has become almost second nature.
I'm pretty sure I kept my voice neutral the whole time, but I know I did other things with my voice that we're unattractive. For example, sometimes my speed of talking would get faster, especially if I thought something was funny and was laughing a little while talking about it. I've read that you supposed to keep your tone slow and even in order to have a sexy voice, so I definitely need to work on this.
Sometimes there were awkward silences in the conversation. I or her, would run out of things to say. The longest one of these silences went for would be 5 seconds. Since Ive been single again I've been doing more and more cold approaches, so I think my conversational skills are getting better, but I'm definitely not a master.
I knew it was important that I break the touch barrier so I asked her if I could see her Fitbit. I was assuming she would just hold out her hand and I could touch he forearm but she actually took it off, so I didn't really get to touch her. When I gave it back to her my finer grazed her hand by accident so the first touch was made.
The coffee shop was closing, so I offered we take a walk before parting ways. With this I escalated touch a little. I put my arm around her shoulder at first and then transitioned to holding her hand while we walked. I was trying to find a place where I could try to kiss her because I've been told you should do that in a secluded place, but I couldn't a good spot. I think what I should have done would be to put my hand around her waist, to escalate a little more and then go for a peck on the cheek and see how that goes, but ultimately I could feel that there wasn't that much attraction on her end. Everything felt too platonic.
We decided to go our separate ways and I made the mistake of trying to plan the second date on the first during this moment. She said "maybe, I'll think about it" and then that was that.
Takeways:
I'm good at talking to someone like they're a friend but I can't create arousal to save my life. I need to learn how to flirt better and be sexier. From the texts she was sending me, she was high interest but my lack of skills prevented me from taking things further. On the date she even talked about how me approaching her made her so happy, so I know she wasn't interested, I just didn't know how to handle that interest. I mean she said maybe when I brought up a second date but I really believe that maybe is a no, That's just my experience.
As far as objectives, making her show me her fit bit I would count as a little investment, I kept my tone neutral, I can't pick up signals to save my life but at least I tried, and as far as ending date on a high note, I didn't really know how to get into the right context where I could kiss her.
However this date is a night and day improvement from my last. I got more compliance with this girl than the last and I was self aware and trying to use several techniques.
The Mice:
Just for fun I thought I'd Include this, it is the title after all. This coffee shop needs a health inspector or some shit because we saw several mice on several occasions running arround the floor. They were chasing each other and shit, I don't know what was going on but these guys definitely needed an exterminator. We even thought about leaving the venue it was so bad.
Interesting note:
During the date, there were times where she was so boring that I lost all attraction for her. But then interestingly, when she would talk about me approaching her and when she was passionate and lively talking about this, I would feel aroused and my attraction for her would spike. Interesting that things work like that.
Best Regards,
BHL
