Date length and physical escalation

[Prehistoric]

I met a girl today, which agreed to meet up tomorrow. And I also have a first meeting with another girl on Sunday.

I don't expect anything (both negatively and positively) because I am just a beginner and I see these as experimental situations to improve my skills.

Recently I have been trying to integrate this new knowledge I am acquiring from this website and other sources with my old usual way of managing interactions with girls (I realised you can't actually change yourself radically in a few weeks or you'll end up looking awkward, so I am just trying to gradually correcting things little by little and not trying to overdo)

Now, there are two things I am reading ofter here which conflict with my natural way of doing things.

1) I have read all over that dates shouldn't be too long. How long do you think is the amount of time after which she starts losing interest if you don't escalate things? 1 hour? 1 hour and half? two? I tried to move too fast some weeks ago (10-15 minutes) and the result was negative, so now I know I'll definitely not try that before 30-40 minutes.

2) That's the most awkward thing for me. "Don't try to kiss her before she's at your place or you'll risk losing sexual tension". This actually means asking her to move to my place BEFORE I kiss her. Basically I have two questions: do you do some other kind of escalation when you're still outside or you save all the big things (like caressing caressing her skin, touch her hair etc..) at home? Which kind of line do you actually use to move her to your place and what do you do if she says no?

Thanks a lot in advance!

Prehistoric

 

[Franco]

PM,

1) I have read all over that dates shouldn't be so long. How long do you thing is the time after which she starts losing interest if you don't escalate things? 1 hour? 1 hour and half? two? I tried to move too fast some weeks ago (10-15 minutes) and the result was negative, so now I know I'll definitely not try that before 30-40 minutes.

There's really no set time for these. If you learn how to read a girl's non-verbals, you can pull a girl in 10-15 minutes, or you might have to wait longer. Until you're able to read a girl's interest levels correctly however, the sweet spot seems to be around an hour and a half. I wouldn't go longer than 2 hours, and I wouldn't try pulling any sooner than 1 hour. But make sure to attempt a pull before conversation dies out. Ideally, you guys should be heavily engaging each other after about an hour, and if you're not sure if you can keep it up, just attempt to pull her at about that time.

2) That's the most awkward thing for me. "Don't try to kiss her before she's at your place or you'll risk losing sexual tension". This actually means asking her to move to my place BEFORE I kiss her. Basically I have two questions: do you do some other kind of escalation when you're still outside or you save all the big things (like caressing caressing her skin, touch her hair etc..) at home? Which kind of line do you actually use to move her to your place and what do you do if she says no?

It varies, but my physical escalation is always minimal. The idea is to be as non-chalant about it as possible and make it seem very comfortable and natural. If you can ask her to come see something that you two discussed during your conversation, that would be the best way to go about it. Something along the lines of, "Hey Jen, why don't we check out X TV Show at my place since we're obviously both big fans? It's only a few blocks away, and it's still relatively early in the night." If she seems only slightly hesitant, then it's usually best to persist at first -- preferably in a playful way that teases her about whatever her excuse is if she has one. I usually make at least a solid 3 attempts or so (possibly more depending on her reaction) before I decide she isn't budging.

If I ultimately decide that she isn't going to come home with me, I usually engage in a kiss that is very passionate, but I make sure to disengage the kiss before she does to leave her wanting more. Other guys have played this in different ways, but I've found the "pull-away parting kiss" to be effective for those girls who seemed interested but just wouldn't come home with you.

- Franco