Date location

[Dirty dagger]

This seems to be a bit under discussed topic. What's the best possible place for the first date when a girl is lusting on you and when she's not. How should you balance getting her to commit for a date and having good logistics after the date?

I think that Chase's strategy of getting a girl to dine near his apartment is excellent. However, that's difficult to suggest when a girl is not that into you and her logistics to your location aren't that good.

I'm not an expert. Actually I just got the first date located near my apartment. She is living 1 hour away using public transport and seems quite into me (I think that's a sure lay).

When asking for a date via SMS or Internet it sometimes seems to be a bit difficult to get a girl warmed up. Especially on Internet dates when there is no previous face-to-face contact or if your initial contact wasn't that good. Should I keep talking to her until I think she commits for a good location? Should I grant her a more convenient location just to get a date without fear of failing quick escalation?

Is pub a horrible idea to bring a girl to? I remember this article where Ricardus said that the minute you move a girl to a bar her defense mechanisms kicks in. Probably that's not true for every girl but should I take the risk? Maybe that only applies for night time, after 11pm? Maybe coffee is better or should I just always prefer dining?

Now about the second date. I think I shouldn't waste my time on a girl if I can't get good logistics for the second date. I can probably pick the location I want if the first date went well. What if the first date was a disaster, wouldn't it be enormous waste of time to go for a second date with poor logistics or even mediocre logistics to my place?

Another way would be always asking for a good location, no matter what. Then moving the location to something more convenient for her if she says no. I know changing your mind is a bad strategy but you can always try to mask it. You could also just have a week of radio silence and then ask her for a more convenient location, or for the same location if her affection has increased.


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This being my first post I would like to thank you Chase. You are changing my introvert life and I would screw you if I were gay.
I'll be sure to throw you with some money once I get my first lays with rate-8 girls.

 

[ray_zorse]

IIRC the advice is to ask her when she is free, then you handle everything else. And definitely coffee -- pub is out (potential competition, too loud, you don't want anything distracting her from your conversation). Dining also no good unless its super casual, like going to a cafe for coffee and grabbing a sandwich b/c one of you hasn't eaten. Finally the venue you choose must have good logistics for you. I guess there could be some exceptions if e.g. she's a working girl and you couldn't build any rapport the first time, then maybe you can't be choosy? Hmm.

 

[Dirty dagger]

I'm trying to make the dining casual. This time I chose a restaurant with good and cheap burgers. Then I told her to have a burger with me there.

Isn't that almost like having a coffee? Pretty casual and a good place for conversation. Except I think coffee is a bit too casual. I think this piece of information that I have picked from other sites than this one is valid: coffee is extremely casual and means sex on second date while dining possibly means sex on the first date. I know that an experienced seducer just needs a conversation and logistics to win a woman. But I can't stop thinking that casual dining has an edge over coffee for less experienced seducers.

Asking for woman to pick a good day for the date hasn't been my thing. Correct if I'm wrong here. I have been telling my dates to meet me at a specific day. I have been a bit more flexible with the time. If she says no then I'll wait a week or so and ask again. If she says no but asks me to pick another day then I suggest something soon after the original day.

I feel like taking full command of the date makes me seem more alpha and more in-demand. I probably wouldn't do this for second date if the first date went well.

 

[Smith]

Asking for woman to pick a good day for the date hasn't been my thing. Correct if I'm wrong here. I have been telling my dates to meet me at a specific day. I have been a bit more flexible with the time. If she says no then I'll wait a week or so and ask again. If she says no but asks me to pick another day then I suggest something soon after the original day.

Well, you're not asking women to pick a good day. You ask them what their schedule like or when they're free, so you can pick a day that suits both of you.
You'll be chasing through her schedule if you ask her to meet you on a specific day and she says no. For example, if she says no and ask you to pick another day and what if that day still doesn't work out for her. you're chasing already.

Another way would be always asking for a good location, no matter what. Then moving the location to something more convenient for her if she says no. I know changing your mind is a bad strategy but you can always try to mask it. You could also just have a week of radio silence and then ask her for a more convenient location, or for the same location if her affection has increased.

For date locations, I always choose a cafe or a bar that's close to my place, and ask the girl to meet me there. It doesn't really matter if she has to drive more than you to get to the coffee shop. If she doesn't wanna come, then she just doesn't wanna come even if the cafe is right next to her apartment.

 

[Franco]

DD,

I'm just going to chime in here really quick:

Isn't that almost like having a coffee? Pretty casual and a good place for conversation. Except I think coffee is a bit too casual. I think this piece of information that I have picked from other sites than this one is valid: coffee is extremely casual and means sex on second date while dining possibly means sex on the first date. I know that an experienced seducer just needs a conversation and logistics to win a woman. But I can't stop thinking that casual dining has an edge over coffee for less experienced seducers.

False. The more casual you can make the date, the better. You want to be constantly trying to slot yourself as a lover, and anything you can possibly to do to prevent yourself being pegged as "boyfriend" or long-term material will help your cause. If you feel like you can pick a casual place that has finger foods and ultimately seems like a place that wouldn't be expensive or require you to be seated and wait long periods of time, then you can use your judgment. Ultimately, she should never really feel like she's on a fancy "dinner" date, and the price should be low.

Also, these topics are discussed briefly in these articles:

• Date Templates: Minimize Confusion, Maximize Returns
  Should You Pay For a Date?
  Having Lots of Dates in a Short Amount of Time

- Franco

 

[Dirty dagger]

Well, you're not asking women to pick a good day. You ask them what their schedule like or when they're free, so you can pick a day that suits both of you.
You'll be chasing through her schedule if you ask her to meet you on a specific day and she says no. For example, if she says no and ask you to pick another day and what if that day still doesn't work out for her. you're chasing already.

I have taken the habit of asking for her schedule. This is also easier than asking her out and committing for a specific time in the same message. In that situation you need to keep that time open while not knowing if she wants to commit for a date at all.

For date locations, I always choose a cafe or a bar that's close to my place, and ask the girl to meet me there. It doesn't really matter if she has to drive more than you to get to the coffee shop. If she doesn't wanna come, then she just doesn't wanna come even if the cafe is right next to her apartment.

Yeah I think this is true.

False. The more casual you can make the date, the better. You want to be constantly trying to slot yourself as a lover, and anything you can possibly to do to prevent yourself being pegged as "boyfriend" or long-term material will help your cause. If you feel like you can pick a casual place that has finger foods and ultimately seems like a place that wouldn't be expensive or require you to be seated and wait long periods of time, then you can use your judgment. Ultimately, she should never really feel like she's on a fancy "dinner" date, and the price should be low.

I see, as casual as possible. Coffee certainly doesn't take long but at least I won't miss an escalation window. Or I might take her for a walk, and sneak her closer to my place, if we drink our coffees very fast.