- Joined
- Jan 14, 2014
- Messages
- 51
Last night I went on a date with a girl I met through cold approach at night (but not in a bar).
Really cute punk-type girl. I instantly liked her. I originally texted her to go to coffee, but when I picked her up, the coffee shop I liked was closed, so I suggested a hike instead.
She didn't seem to have a problem with it. I took her on a short hike that leads to a big rock, that you can see through a valley, and watch the sunset. A little bit romantic, but it's something I like to do on my own, so I liked the idea of bringing a girl with me.
From the bat, I felt like we had a great connection. She was excited when she got in the car. I gave her a "low five" and she held her hand on my hand. She led the conversation the entire time.
As we were driving up to the trail, we stopped a look-out spot, where a lot of kids go to make out. She mentioned some guy had took her near the trail we were going, so I joked and asked if she made out with him at that spot. She said no...
...then told me that she'd never kissed a guy sober (but a guy and a girl high), and was a virgin. Within 10 minutes of meeting!
We get there and she was going on about how she usually doesn't hike, how she preferred the city, some other stuff. But, I felt like she was enjoying herself even with all the talk. She had an amazing body and I loved looking at her as she was walking.
We get to the rock, and I hold her hand as I guide her up it. We get to the base and don't sit down, but I give her a light high-five, and hold my hand there. She holds hers, so I interlock hands with her. She hesitates a bit but then locks hands with me and we hold hands. It was awesome... the vibe I got from this girl was amazing.
Now, I've been with a 19 year old virgin before, and it was a disaster. But in that case, it was because she didn't tell me until my finger was inside her impossibly tight vagina.
With that girl, I knew she just wanted to get sex over with. However, I wasn't in a position to take her virginity, so I didn't.
So, I took a similar mindset with this new girl... I figured she maybe just wanted to make out with a guy and lose her virginity, and because I confidently approached her, she figured I might be a good one to do it with.
We sat on the rock cuddling and holding hands. It was amazing, I felt so great with this girl. As the sun was setting, I pulled her chin in and went for the kiss.
She turned her head and said "no". I kinda expected it, so it didn't really bother me. But then she started talking about how she didn't like kissing, how the dude she kissed was terrible, how she thought sex was gross, how she was probably a lesbian.
I'm just sitting there still cuddling with her and loving how she smelled. But this was definitely unique.
My biggest hurdle right now, is I let things like this get to me. If something "goes wrong", I can get in my head about it, and get in a negative state... very bad for being on a date.
This kinda happened. I went from being relaxed, to a little bit tense. I was spaced out a little, wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying.
We were driving to get coffee, but I didn't want to anymore. I'd loved cuddling with her and holding her... I didn't want to go to some lit coffee shop and sit across the table from her and listen to her talk for an hour. But, until tomorrow, I'm at my parents house, and I had no real place to take her.
I'm bummed I didn't just pull into a parking lot or something, because I think she would've protested but then been down. Instead I pulled into a coffee shop parking lot, but then told her I didn't feel like getting coffee. We talked a good amount about sex. I told her I didn't kiss a girl or lose my virginity until I was 20.
I told her a little about the experience, and how I view sex now.
She was telling me that it was crazy I would "just kiss a random girl that quickly". But I told her that as she got older, she might find out that kissing is just a lot of fun, and it's not necessarily a huge deal to kiss someone you like.
I told her my thoughts about sex, how it could be a healthy thing that makes people more confident, laid back, and connect better.
I feel like she was getting where I was going with it. But I was still in that tense state... I was wondering if I had fucked everything up. I was thinking that I liked this girl, but wasn't sure why she agreed to go on a date with me if she was really that opposed to sex and kissing guys. That made me think that she had thought I was the kind of guy she would like to kiss and have sex with, but I'd done something and she didn't think that anymore, which made me feel kinda shitty.
She had to leave at 9, and it was like 8:30. I didn't want to spend our last 30 minutes inside a coffee shop. So I offered to take her home. She said that was fine... but I don't think either of us were really too happy about it. Her leaving was the absolute last thing I really wanted to happen.
But, I found myself driving towards her home anyways. It was pretty silent in the car, I didn't really know what to say.
We got to her house and I pulled in the driveway. It was like I "woke up". I realized she was leaving, and I didn't want her to. I reached over and started holding her hand and her body. She smelled so amazing. I started kissing her neck and her jaw and her ear. She seemed to like it. I kept telling her she shouldn't leave.
She started making to leave, but I pulled her in closer. She didn't resist for a little. But then she started to leave again. Obviously I wasn't going to force her to stay. I'm moving to Kansas City tomorrow, and I told her that. She told me she did have a pretty good time, and she "might see me in 3 months" (when I get back).
I drove home pretty much devastated. I just didn't know what the fuck happened. I felt like I connected so well with her, and we had fucking amazing chemistry. I haven't been with a lot of girls, but she definitely turned me on more than other girls have so far. Maybe she didn't feel the same way, but I can't really imagine I would feel something so strongly, and she wouldn't feel any of it. I've talked to and touched girls who don't like me before... it doesn't feel good.
She didn't text me that night and I didn't text her either.
She hasn't texted me today... about 3 hours ago I sent her a text with a little callback humor from our date, but she hasn't replied.
I'm pretty bummed about it, because I don't really see myself seeing her again. I don't know if I should've just been more chill, been content to just cuddle with her. I know for a fact I should've gone after what I wanted, which was getting her in my backseat so we could at least be close. I know I could've done it, I just was scared to just randomly go into an abandoned parking lot and park.
It's just been that if something "goes wrong", I get so in my head I basically become unconscious. I start doing the exact shit I DON'T want to be doing. I don't think rationally about what I should do next. This has happened quite a bit, and it seems to be a big hurdle for me.
I know this is a novel, so I appreciate you taking the time to read it. Any insights from someone more experienced than me would be greatly appreciated. I've been in a drought for almost a year now... it's taken its toll. At least after last night, I know how badly I do want to have sex with a girl I like, so I'm very motivated now.
Really cute punk-type girl. I instantly liked her. I originally texted her to go to coffee, but when I picked her up, the coffee shop I liked was closed, so I suggested a hike instead.
She didn't seem to have a problem with it. I took her on a short hike that leads to a big rock, that you can see through a valley, and watch the sunset. A little bit romantic, but it's something I like to do on my own, so I liked the idea of bringing a girl with me.
From the bat, I felt like we had a great connection. She was excited when she got in the car. I gave her a "low five" and she held her hand on my hand. She led the conversation the entire time.
As we were driving up to the trail, we stopped a look-out spot, where a lot of kids go to make out. She mentioned some guy had took her near the trail we were going, so I joked and asked if she made out with him at that spot. She said no...
...then told me that she'd never kissed a guy sober (but a guy and a girl high), and was a virgin. Within 10 minutes of meeting!
We get there and she was going on about how she usually doesn't hike, how she preferred the city, some other stuff. But, I felt like she was enjoying herself even with all the talk. She had an amazing body and I loved looking at her as she was walking.
We get to the rock, and I hold her hand as I guide her up it. We get to the base and don't sit down, but I give her a light high-five, and hold my hand there. She holds hers, so I interlock hands with her. She hesitates a bit but then locks hands with me and we hold hands. It was awesome... the vibe I got from this girl was amazing.
Now, I've been with a 19 year old virgin before, and it was a disaster. But in that case, it was because she didn't tell me until my finger was inside her impossibly tight vagina.
With that girl, I knew she just wanted to get sex over with. However, I wasn't in a position to take her virginity, so I didn't.
So, I took a similar mindset with this new girl... I figured she maybe just wanted to make out with a guy and lose her virginity, and because I confidently approached her, she figured I might be a good one to do it with.
We sat on the rock cuddling and holding hands. It was amazing, I felt so great with this girl. As the sun was setting, I pulled her chin in and went for the kiss.
She turned her head and said "no". I kinda expected it, so it didn't really bother me. But then she started talking about how she didn't like kissing, how the dude she kissed was terrible, how she thought sex was gross, how she was probably a lesbian.
I'm just sitting there still cuddling with her and loving how she smelled. But this was definitely unique.
My biggest hurdle right now, is I let things like this get to me. If something "goes wrong", I can get in my head about it, and get in a negative state... very bad for being on a date.
This kinda happened. I went from being relaxed, to a little bit tense. I was spaced out a little, wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying.
We were driving to get coffee, but I didn't want to anymore. I'd loved cuddling with her and holding her... I didn't want to go to some lit coffee shop and sit across the table from her and listen to her talk for an hour. But, until tomorrow, I'm at my parents house, and I had no real place to take her.
I'm bummed I didn't just pull into a parking lot or something, because I think she would've protested but then been down. Instead I pulled into a coffee shop parking lot, but then told her I didn't feel like getting coffee. We talked a good amount about sex. I told her I didn't kiss a girl or lose my virginity until I was 20.
I told her a little about the experience, and how I view sex now.
She was telling me that it was crazy I would "just kiss a random girl that quickly". But I told her that as she got older, she might find out that kissing is just a lot of fun, and it's not necessarily a huge deal to kiss someone you like.
I told her my thoughts about sex, how it could be a healthy thing that makes people more confident, laid back, and connect better.
I feel like she was getting where I was going with it. But I was still in that tense state... I was wondering if I had fucked everything up. I was thinking that I liked this girl, but wasn't sure why she agreed to go on a date with me if she was really that opposed to sex and kissing guys. That made me think that she had thought I was the kind of guy she would like to kiss and have sex with, but I'd done something and she didn't think that anymore, which made me feel kinda shitty.
She had to leave at 9, and it was like 8:30. I didn't want to spend our last 30 minutes inside a coffee shop. So I offered to take her home. She said that was fine... but I don't think either of us were really too happy about it. Her leaving was the absolute last thing I really wanted to happen.
But, I found myself driving towards her home anyways. It was pretty silent in the car, I didn't really know what to say.
We got to her house and I pulled in the driveway. It was like I "woke up". I realized she was leaving, and I didn't want her to. I reached over and started holding her hand and her body. She smelled so amazing. I started kissing her neck and her jaw and her ear. She seemed to like it. I kept telling her she shouldn't leave.
She started making to leave, but I pulled her in closer. She didn't resist for a little. But then she started to leave again. Obviously I wasn't going to force her to stay. I'm moving to Kansas City tomorrow, and I told her that. She told me she did have a pretty good time, and she "might see me in 3 months" (when I get back).
I drove home pretty much devastated. I just didn't know what the fuck happened. I felt like I connected so well with her, and we had fucking amazing chemistry. I haven't been with a lot of girls, but she definitely turned me on more than other girls have so far. Maybe she didn't feel the same way, but I can't really imagine I would feel something so strongly, and she wouldn't feel any of it. I've talked to and touched girls who don't like me before... it doesn't feel good.
She didn't text me that night and I didn't text her either.
She hasn't texted me today... about 3 hours ago I sent her a text with a little callback humor from our date, but she hasn't replied.
I'm pretty bummed about it, because I don't really see myself seeing her again. I don't know if I should've just been more chill, been content to just cuddle with her. I know for a fact I should've gone after what I wanted, which was getting her in my backseat so we could at least be close. I know I could've done it, I just was scared to just randomly go into an abandoned parking lot and park.
It's just been that if something "goes wrong", I get so in my head I basically become unconscious. I start doing the exact shit I DON'T want to be doing. I don't think rationally about what I should do next. This has happened quite a bit, and it seems to be a big hurdle for me.
I know this is a novel, so I appreciate you taking the time to read it. Any insights from someone more experienced than me would be greatly appreciated. I've been in a drought for almost a year now... it's taken its toll. At least after last night, I know how badly I do want to have sex with a girl I like, so I'm very motivated now.
