Dates as a younger guy -- women older than me, harder to flirt?

[jackal2020]

Hi everyone,

I've been cold approaching with some success -- had two dates in the past three days.

The thing is, both dates went poorly. There wasn’t much spark, nor were the dates fun.

I found it a bit odd, as dates are usually fun and straightforward.

I'm wondering if age was a factor. I'm 23, but the girls (women?) were 26 and 29. The oldest I’ve ever been out with. I'm horrible at determining age, it's a real problem.

Maybe them being older is getting in my head somehow, and I'm not being as risky, irreverent, or something else?

I'm wondering if I should rethink my vibe or date behavior. Is it harder to have a flirty, fun date when the girl is a lot older than you?

I’m sure others can pull this off, and I certainly have work to do. But have other people noticed it being trickier with older girls?

 

[Tr1cky]

Dont get in the mental habit of blaming others. Operating from the frame of "it is always the mans fault", although not always true, will get you further than looking to blame others.

It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

You could make the same argument about younger girls. "She was so boring and uninteresting I need an older girl who has more experiences and things to say."

The date was boring because you are boring. You are missing one of the keys to seduction, emotional stimulation.

You can emotionally stimulate with;

Teasing
Sexual innuendo
Playfulness
Jokes
Stories with these themes;
-Excitement
-Curiosity
-overcoming fear or anxiety
-experiencing new things

 

[Rakkum]

I'm wondering if I should rethink my vibe or date behavior. Is it harder to have a flirty, fun date when the girl is a lot older than you?

Welcome to the boards, Jackal

In my opinion, personality is a more substantial factor than age when it comes to having a fun flirty date... That said, it also depends what's fun for you. When it comes to low-key dates, like getting drinks, then I enjoy a good conversation. A good conversation is one part deep diving and expanding my horizon by learning about the other person and one part witty fast-paced, creatively thinking-on-your-feet kind of banter.

In the latter, if age is a factor at all within the range you describe, then older women may be even slightly better at that than younger ones.

In short, I don't think age is that much of an issue here. May be coincidence, may be something else that you have had two poor dates in a row. Has happened to most of us, I'm sure.

 

[Skills]

We been talking about this a lot in the forum, women ideally like men 5-10 years older than them, I was talking about this with one of my girls and she said this changes after the man is 35, their reasoning is young men are immature etc...... So if from the get go she is thinking "no" you are operating from a red to maybe leaning red territory.... In a clubbing situation is easier cause they are having fun distracted etc...After you bang them they tend to backwards rationalize...