Dates - Boring?

[asmi8803]

I've been on four dates recently but 3 were really boring. I'll give you a little background and then if you can provide some advice that would be great.

Firstly my fundamentals are pretty good, girls tell me I'm sexy, hot etc, I sleep with girls no problem. I'm not an extrovert but I am comfortable with myself. My problem seems to be since I've decided I want hot girls rather than cute girls.

Cute girls always seem to show their interest very easily where as hot girls are less obvious.

I'm currently dating a girl who showed while showing interest, wasn't like most girls who seem ridiculously interested early on.

So I've been on 4 dates recently, one with the girl I'm seeing was fun, we got on great and I was left thinking, she seems to like me but isn't thinking of me as boyfriend material already...awesome.

The other 3 dates however have been boring. The girls sit there extremely rigid, I try to bring touch in but they don't react in any way, they give no signs of interest (if that was the case why come on a date), I've been practicing deep diving recently, getting the girls talking about themselves and finding out why they do the things they do etc, I move the convo onto something light but it just dries up, it feels like I'm having to make way to much effort, as otherwise it's almost silence.

It's weird, I'm not shy, I don't have difficulty flirting when the girl shows a little interest but when she shows none, and gives very little back or doesn't respond when I try to move things forward, I don't know what to do.

Any ideas guys!?

 

[Franco]

Are you cold approaching these girls, or are these girls you've met from an online dating site or web application?

- Franco

 

[asmi8803]

Those 4 were Tinder/POF dates Franco. (I've not been on a lot of dates, usually just hook ups, the other dates I've been on have been ok though not from online dating, met in a bar or through friends etc)

Cold approaching in day is something I've only started doing recently and haven't got a date from that yet.
Been approaching in bars for a while but not really dated those girls, usually hook up at some point when I see them out again.
Other hook ups have come through girls I've met through friends.

 

[Franco]

asmi8803,

Those 4 were Tinder/POF dates Franco.

I thought so. The thing about using dating applications to meet women is that you don't know what you're getting and neither do the girls.

While they might find you attractive in some way, girls aren't necessarily "excited" to be going out on a date with a guy they don't know. Experience has mostly told them that it will be the same old boring routine, and you will probably be the same old boring guy. Likewise, this is probably the way you feel about it (unless the conversation suddenly becomes engaging in some way, but you'll find that most girls who actually use dating applications are rather dull).

This is just something you're going to have to realize will happen rather frequently when you're meeting up with women off of things like Tinder, OkCupid, or PoF. You'll meet and converse with girls who are either dull or aren't excited to be meeting you. In general, it's best to just accept this as the case before you go on the date and recognize that you're going to want your fundamentals to be stellar so that you can at least make the girl want to have sex with you. I generally don't expect much more than one-night stands or flings from girls I meet on dating applications.

It's good that you're going out there and approaching as well; you'll find that you'll meet higher quality girls with relative ease this way, and it's a lot more likely that they'll be excited to go on a date with you if you've handled your fundamentals and chase framing correctly.

- Franco

 

[asmi8803]

Ok cool. Yeah to be honest I'm not looking for anything long term, so I'm just using tinder etc as an easy way to practise deep diving and chase frames.

While in a bar I feel comfortable striking up a conversation and taking it to the bedroom. Cold approaching during the day is new and it has been challenging but I'm gradually changing my mind set to feeling more natural and not worrying about the outcome, I'm definitely noticing less fear when I approach so hopefully my first day game date isn't too far away (and now it's warming up I'll get more opportunities too).

Thanks Franco, you offer a lot of really sound advice on these boards.

 

[Zoro]

Here's the recipe for awesome dates.

If you would enjoy it alone, its a good date choice.

Then add some good logistics
and make sure she might enjoy it as well.

 

[Cam87]

I agree with J Wick.

I wanted to go to this open mic comedy night, so i made it a date.

I like playing shuffleboard or bowling and karaoke, also would make good dates. Even if the girl is a dud I can still have fun.